I was happy working as an accountant for a small private firm. My life was mundane and unexciting, but I enjoyed the company of the rest of the staff, who were all women. Whilst they were all friendly enough I was always an outsider, not really a part of their social group, and although we were close colleagues, I couldn’t really say that any of them were friends.

It was mainly my choice not to get too close to them, I didn’t have a lot of free time outside of office hours, as I lived with my elderly grandmother and she needed a lot of care and attention. She was fine while I was away at work, and managed to look after herself during the daytime without any trouble, but once I got home, she flopped down in her chair in front of the TV and left me to do any of the chores that were needed. Although I had no social life, it was a fair price to pay for her raising me from an infant.

I never knew my father, and if the truth be told I do not think my mother really did either. She was a bit of a good-time girl and enjoyed a wild social life, partying, drinking, and drug-taking, leaving my elder sister Gwen and I in the care of her mother, Granny Norma, while she was out enjoying herself. One day, when I about 5 years old she went out to a party and never came back. We got a postcard a few months later saying that she was back-packing around Australia and would probably not be coming back, asking Granny Norma to take care of us.

Fortunately Granny was reasonably well of financially from a legacy from her father who had owned several manufacturing companies, and was able to support us and made sure that we had a good education. Life for Gwen was comfortable growing up, we went to good schools, never really wanted for anything, and were always well dressed, well-fed and well looked-after.

Things changed when Gwen went away to university, there she met her future husband Harry and after they both graduated he got an amazing job offer at a start-up development company in Silicon Valley, and other than birthday and Christmas cards and the occasional FaceTime call I was now left alone to look after Granny.

When I left university with a MA in business studies and finance Granny contacted a few old contacts and I was offered a job with Fisher Financial Services, a small accountancy firm owned and managed by Isobel Fisher. The firm, which as I have said, was all female, Isobel, Jan, Kathy and Trudy the senior staff and accountants, Josie Lyn and Laura as admin and secretarial staff, and me Glyn, as a junior accountant. The firm served a client base of mainly female-run enterprises and the owners preferred to deal with female professional advisers who they felt could relate to their problems. Partly to get around anti-discrimination laws, and partly because some of their major clients were traditionalists and preferred to deal with a man, I was taken on as the token male.

Whilst I was totally accepted by them as a work colleague, and involved in all the business chat in the office, whenever they went out together for a drink or a meal, although I was usually invited it was always with a rider “But maybe being out with a gang of women is not really your thing.” a polite way to say “We do not really want you to come with us.”

After a while this got to suit me, as Granny was getting more forgetful and cantankerous, becoming more and more demanding for attention, and staying out late after work would just lead to feisty discussions with her.

One day I arrived home from work to be greeted by Granny with a big hug, “Happy birthday dear, I’ve been to the shops and have got your favourite tea, salmon fillets, jersey potatoes and a broccoli and soft cheese puree.and a bottle of your favourite sparkling wine.”

“It’s not my birthday Granny, today is Gwen’s, mine is a couple of months away yet, and that is Gwen’s favourite meal, I much prefer a nice sirloin steak with all the trimmings and a nice cool glass of beer.”

“Oh dear, I am always getting you and Gwen mixed up, never mind Glyn, we can still have a lovely meal.”

A few days later I was having a mid-morning coffee-break chatting to Kathy and Trudy, and when they asked how my grandmother was keeping I told them about the confusion over Gwen’s birthday and they burst into fits of giggles.

“You’re not keeping any secrets from us all, are you Glyn, or should that be Gwen?” joked Trudy. It’s not helped by the fact you could do with a good haircut, it’s sitting well over your collar and covers your ears. Along with the natural waves in it, if her eyesight is going off a bit she could easily see you as a girl.”

“Don’t be daft, Granny is just at that age where she is getting a bit forgetful and confused. I know what the office gossip grapevine is like so please don’t spread it around, I don’t want any more comments like that.”

Despite my asking them to keep it to themselves, it soon spread around the office and within a couple of days I found that my name badge and computer log-in were now changed to Gwen Owen, and most of the others even started calling me Gwen. At first I was quite annoyed with them all, but soon just accepted it as their way off being friendly and treating me as another one of the team.

After work on Fridays a few of the younger girls, Josie, Lyn, and Laura, usually went out to the local wine bar to get work out of their systems and start the weekend nights out. This time rather than the polite grudging offer I normally got I was surprised to get a genuine warm invite to go with them. “Are you coming for a quick drink with us Gwen, I’m sure that your Gran will be alright for another hour?”

For a change I went with them, feeling a bit of an intruder into the social circle at first but quickly relaxed and enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine with them before taking my leave to go home to sort out Granny.

Over our regular Friday night dinner of fish and chips which I collected on the way home, I told her about going to the wine bar with the girls from work.

“Gwen dear if you are going to socialise with the other girls you really need to stop acting like a tomboy, wearing those trouser suits, and dress yourself up a bit more femininely, and wear a bit of makeup, I’m sure that the other girls made a lot more effort.”

“Granny you’re getting mixed up again, I’m Glyn, not Gwen, she went off to live in California, remember.” I softly replied not wanting to get her too upset.

“Maybe you’re right, I always got you mixed up, but never mind, I’m still glad of your company.”

Over the next few weeks she slowly became even more confused and almost always called me Gwen and kept encouraging me to be a bit more feminine. I was beginning to get worried about leaving her on her own all day and decided that there was no alternative to quitting my job to look after her full time, until she got to the stage where she needed full-time medical care and would have to go into a nursing home.

“Isobel, I’m sorry to have to do this but my Granny is getting to the stage where I am not comfortable leaving her alone at home while I am working here, I’m afraid that I need to hand in my notice.”

“You’ve done a good job since you joined us Gwen, oops sorry, Glyn, it’s a pity the situation you find yourself in. Rather than leave, have two weeks or a month to see how it goes, then maybe we can find a way for you to work from home most of the time but you would need to come in to the office occasionally or go out to meet clients, have a think about it. Meanwhile we will not replace you and will keep your job open.”

So, I took ‘temporary leave of absence’ and became a full-time carer for Granny. My all-day presence in the house seemed to brighten her up generally, but I couldn’t shake her out of continually calling me Gwen and treating me as if I was her granddaughter not her grandson. She was always asking me why I always wore trousers, never a skirt, and didn’t even use lipstick, never mind the full makeup that I used to use all the time, and sometimes became quite distressed when I tried to correct her.

It got to the stage where I didn’t argue with her anymore and just accepted that as far as she was concerned I was Gwen. One day, when she was getting particularly insistent about me wearing a skirt, I thought it might calm her down if for once I could raid the wardrobe of clothes that Gwen had left behind when she left for California. I went to Gwen’s old room and sifted through what was there and found a few skirts and tops that fitted me. I quickly changed into a loose floral cotton skirt, and peasant blouse which I thought looked feminine enough to keep her happy, but which was comfortable to wear before looking at myself in the mirror.

I remembered what Trudy had said about my hair looking a bit long and feminine and brushed it with a centre-parting and fringe and realised that although I was not a spitting image of Gwen we looked enough alike to be taken as sisters. Warily I made my way back downstairs to see how Granny would react, but she took it all in her stride.

“You’re looking very nice today dear, I’m glad that you have decided to wear some decent clothes at last, you look quite pretty when you make an effort.”

It seemed to work, it was as if a cloud had disappeared from her brain, and she was quite bright and chatty for the rest of the day. After our evening meal, she dug a couple of photo albums out from a cupboard and we spent the rest of the evening browsing through them with her delighting in pointing out photos of Gwen as she grew up, asking me if I remembered wearing the various party dresses and school uniforms that’d been Gwen’s.

The next morning, I went down to make breakfast in shorts and a cotton sports shirt, and she gave me a disapproving look.

“What have you got on Gwen, you looked much nicer in the outfit you wore yesterday. It’s a lovely sunny day, I would like to, go down to the lake and watch the ducks and swans like we used to do when you and Glyn were younger. After breakfast go and get changed into something summery and we will have a day out.”

Later I went up and put on the skirt and top that I had worn the day before, but when I looked in the mirror I realised that how I looked might be alright for keeping Granny happy around the house, but it was not convincing enough to go out in public. I needed to completely change my appearance.

I went off to the bathroom, and shaved everywhere I could reach, and rubbed in a soothing moisturiser to calm down the irritated skin unused to the application of a razor before heading back to Gwen’s bedroom. There was a photo of Gwen and me in a frame on the dressing table and using that as a guide I opened her old makeup box and applied a very light foundation, blusher, mascara and lipstick and was surprised at how feminine I now looked. Before getting dressed I put on a bra and stuffed the cups with rolled up nylons, I couldn’t go out without looking like I had breasts. I put on the skirt and top, slipped on a pair if low-heeled slip-ons, gave my hair a good brush and a light spray to keep it in place, and felt ready to face the world for the first time as Gwen.

When I went downstairs Granny’s eyes lit up. “That’s a lot better Gwen, help me up, we’ll get our coats and bags and go out to enjoy ourselves.” Although she had her problems she was still alert enough that I needed a bag for my wallet, keys and things so I quickly went back to the bedroom, found a light leather shoulder bag, which still had a few of Gwen’s bit and pieces in it, added my money keys and phone, collected Granny, and taking a deep breath nervously left the house.

I was convinced that I would easily be picked out as a man in a skirt but nobody seemed to take any special notice of me, I was just taken as a young woman out with her elderly relative. We had an enjoyable few hours walking along the banks of the lake and sitting for a while watching all the waterfowl. To round off the day we stopped at a lakeside café mainly because she was getting desperate to go to the toilet and insisted that I help her to get into the Ladies restroom. This was new territory for me, and whilst I had been comfortable out in the open-air not thinking a great deal about how I looked, being in this female-only space suddenly made me realise what I was doing, scared of being recognised and causing trouble.

After seeing Granny into her cubicle, I felt that I needed to relieve myself too and took the next stall, hitching up my skirt and sitting down. When I came out of the cubicle there was another woman in there washing her hands who had a quick look at me, gave a smile and re-applied her lipstick. As I followed her lead did the same, she started chatting to me and even seemed to accept my attempt at using a believable female voice.

“Is that your Granny with you, it’s good to see that some people still care enough to look after their elderly relatives. Nice chatting to you, enjoy the rest of the day dear.”

That gave me back my confidence and I sat Granny down at a window seat before going to the counter and ordering teas with scones, cream and Jam. The young woman behind the counter, with a name tag Sally just accepted me as what I appeared to be without any flicker of recognition. “I’ll bring your teas over in a few minutes.”

When she brought the snacks over Granny gave her a big smile. ‘Thank you so much dear, that’s very kind of you. I’m having a lovely day out with my Granddaughter Gwen, she is so good to me and looks after me.”

The girl looked a little bit embarrassed and was obviously not used to the ramblings of the elderly so I thought that I had better clear the air.

Thank you Sally, that looks delicious.”

“Thanks Gwen, enjoy the scones, fresh-baked an hour ago.”

Granny was getting tired so we paid the bill and left for home, with a cheery “Come again” from Sally.

That was the first of many days out that we had over the next few weeks and it seemed to have turned a corner with her, and I was no longer worried when I had to leave her to go shopping. Dressing and acting as Gwen was becoming just routine for me, and to be honest, in the warm summer the light clothes of Gwen’s were a lot more comfortable than the much heavier items in Glyn’s wardrobe and I was becoming a lot more at ease going out and talking to people in the shops and cafés.

One day, when I returned home, I found Granny sitting chatting with Isobel from work, who turned and stared at me but said nothing.

“I was just telling this nice lady how good you are to me Gwen and I think she wants to have a talk with you.”

“Ok Granny, we’ll leave you here to have a doze and we’ll go out into the conservatory for a chat.”

Isobel followed me out hardly taking her eyes off me and studying my appearance.

“When the girls in the office started calling you Gwen, I thought that it was just a joke, I never realised that is who you wanted to be.”

“It’s not like that Isobel, and it’s only recently that I started dressing like this just to keep Granny happy, it is not something that I wanted to do.”

“Well for somebody that is only pretending to be a woman, you are doing an amazing job, if I had seen you in the street I would have just walked on by without a second glance. Before we get onto why I am here, tell me a bit more about how this has all come about.”

“Let me get you a coffee and some cake while we both get our minds in gear properly then I will give you the full story.”

Over the next hour I described in detail how Granny had been getting more and more confused, but that when I finally started, and then continued, to dress as Gwen, other than continuing to believe that I was Gwen, her state of mind really improved.

“Wow, that is so good of you to do that for her, but do you not feel a bit weird about it. You are totally believable and convincing as a woman, you even talk about things and describe things just like a woman would, I could put you in the office with the other girls and you would not stand out.”

“When I get dressed in the morning, I don’t even think about it any more, that I’m wearing skirts and tops and even bras and panties, it’s just getting dressed for the day, in just the same way as you do, As long as it helps Granny, I am happy to continue to be Gwen for her. Anyway why are you here, what can I do for you.”

“Kathy has found that she is pregnant and because there are possible complications she wants to take maternity leave very early and leave as soon as possible. I have come to ask you if you could help out and take on some of her workload, the others are all up to their eyeballs with their own clients.”

“I would love to help but you have seen how Granny is, I am happy to leave her for a short time when I have to go out, but I don’t feel that I could leave her all day.”

“That’s not a problem, ‘work from home’ is the in-thing these days, as long as you have a decent broadband link there will be very little need for you to come in to the office. You can come in early in the morning before the others arrive, to collect any files that you need to work on, if you wish to keep your life as Gwen a secret. By the way, since you have been away we have had an annual pay and performance review and you will be entitled to a significantly improved salary, are you up for it?”

“Let’s give it a try and see how committed I can be to doing the work whist keeping an eye on Granny, thank you so much for asking Isobel. Being a full time carer is rewarding, but can be a bit frustrating and mind-numbing at times, going back to the work I am qualified for will be a welcome relief.”

That’s all settled then Gwen. I am normally in at 8 o’clock but the others don’t normally arrive until nearer 9. Give me a couple of days to get things organised and have a word with Kathy to see what she is working on, then come in to get briefed and collect whatever you need before they all turn up. I’ll tell them what you are doing, but not about you living as Gwen. As far as they are concerned you are working from home as Glyn.

To get myself into a professional frame of mind, rather than the light summer clothes I had been wearing, I dressed more formally in a business blouse, above the knee black pencil skirt, and black court shoes with a thick 2’ heel, set out for the office and warily went to see Isobel.

“Come on in Gwen,” Isobel warmly greeted me with a smile and a hug, “I wasn’t sure how you would turn up this morning, whether you’d be in a skirt or trousers, but you are looking very business-like, and you really do look the part of an attractive young professional woman.”

“It may sound strange but I haven’t worn trousers for weeks, as long as I stay in skirts or dresses it is easier to continue the pretence that I am Gwen, If I start going to and fro between Gwen and Glyn, it would only confuse Granny, and to be honest it would confuse me too. Now what have you got for me?”

I got into the routine over the following weeks, collecting the files early morning, preparing the clients’ accounts and returning them one or two days later, depending on the size of the client company and the complexity of their finances, and returning them to Isobel. Granny was happy enough that I was able to work from home and generally left me to get on with things, other than needing the occasional bit of attention or cups tea and cake.

One afternoon the doorbell rang, and as I was expecting a delivery, I unthinkingly quickly opened the door to see a heavily-pregnant Kathy with a shocked look on her face.”

“Glyn?”

“ Better keep it as Gwen for the moment, come in Kathy, you must have a lot of things to tell me about your expected baby, and must have a lot of questions for me about how I am looking, but first let me get you a drink, tea or coffee, I assume that you are off alcohol at the moment.”

Over tea and biscuits she told me all about her problems with the pregnancy and described all the associated aches and pains, sore boobs, tired swollen legs, stretched hips and the feelings of the baby moving around inside her. I listened enthusiastically, asking questions and sympathising at the right places.

“You know what Gwen, you are more understanding and empathetic than the other girls in the office, it just seemed normal to talk to you girl-to-girl, I’m sorry if some of the things I’ve described have embarrassed you, at times I forgot who you really are. Anyway, that’s enough about me, I’m sure that you have a lot to tell me about how I find myself having girl-talk with you as Gwen, when we first started jokingly calling you Gwen we had no idea that this is how you would turn out.

Once again, as I had with Isobel, I went through the full story, with her throwing lots of questions at me.

“Well Gwen, why I am here is that I am having a leaving drinks do with the girls on Friday and came to see if you wanted to come, but obviously that will be difficult in the situation you are in.

“Thanks for thinking about me Kathy, I would love to come, but how do you think the other girls will react if I turn up as Gwen, for the moment this is who I am?”

“Honestly, I can’t see a problem, you appear just as feminine as the rest of us and will probably fit in better as you are than if you turned up as Glyn. We’re going to the bistro near the office. The girls will all be getting glammed up, have you anything decent to wear?”

‘There are some of Gwen’s dresses in the wardrobe that I have never worn, they are too dressy for wearing about the house.”

“Go and get them then, let me have a look and help you choose something that suits you.”

I returned with three that I liked, A strappy red knee-length cocktail dress, a typical LBD that was much shorter, and figure-hugging and an azure floating loose silk dress, and held them up against me to see which she thought would suit me best.

“Definitely the blue one, it matches the colour of your eyes, let’s see it on and how it fits”

“Ok I’ll go upstairs to change.”

“No need for that, it’s only us girls here, just take off your skirt and top and slip into the dress.”

“Don’t forget who I really am Kathy.”

“Never mind that I’m sure that I won’t see anything I’ve not seen before, us girls are not shy about changing in front of their friends.”

I quickly did as I was told, pulled the dress into place and she twirled her finger to tell me to spin around so she could have a good look at it from all angles.

“That’s not a bad fit at all, but you could do with a bit of shape-wear to nip in your waist and pad out your bum and hips, and you could really do with something better than those bags of whatever in your bra that are supposed to look like breasts. If your granny will be ok for a while, we need to go shopping, get changed back into your other things and you and I are going shopping girl.”

We drove into town and ended up at Tara’s Secrets where Kathy seemed to know the manageress and had a quiet word with her. An hour later I walked out a totally different shape, with fixed on breast forms, wearing padded briefs and a waist cincher giving me a much more feminine figure.

“Thanks Kathy, I could never have done that without your encouragement and help, I’m sure that the dress will hang a lot better now.”

“You’re not the only one that needs a bit of help with her figure, most of the other girls in the office are regulars here too. Before we go back to your house, there’s one more adjustment to make, let’s pop into ‘The Accessory Shop’ and get your ears pierced and buy a few sets of earrings, girls nowadays almost feel half-dressed without them.”

“There you are Gwen, there is no excuse now for not turning up on Friday, I’ll let the other girls know that you will be coming, but not how you will be dressed.”

After Gwen left with a big goodbye hug, I phoned the big hairdressers and beauty salon in town and made an appointment for Friday afternoon, after warning the manager about the fact that I was a cross-dresser but that as far as other clients would notice, I would just look like any other woman in there.

Nervously.I walked into the salon and confirmed my appointment for a hair restyle and a full makeover. The receptionist almost fainted with shock. “Oh, my God, you look amazing already, there should not have been any need to warn us, you are already looking better than most of our clients do when they arrive. Take a seat in station number 3 and Wendy will be with you in a minute or so.

“A special night out is it Gwen, what do you want done today?”

“I don’t really know, it’s taken a while for my hair to grow out so I don’t want too much taken off and it needs to be properly styled.”

“What about colouring or highlights, or is that going too far?”

“A few highlights maybe but nothing too extreme.”

A while later my hair had been washed layered, highlighted, blow-dried and brushed out and I barely recognised the girl looking back at me from the mirror.

“Ok Gwen I believe that you want a full makeover for an evening out, how exotic do you normally go?”

‘Normally it’s just a light basic daytime look, I’m not used to getting full glam made up.”

“What colour is the dress you will be wearing, we’ll see how best to coordinate with it.”

When Wendy Had finished I was amazed, she had cleaned up and shaped my eyebrows and had made me up in a dramatic but subtle style to highlight the colour of my eyes, emphasise my cheekbones, used a plumper lipstick to puff out my lips and give me a bit of a pout and done a wonderful job with concealer and foundation to give a flawless skin. I almost wept at the finished appearance but felt that I would fit in well with the other girls at the bistro, at least in terms of my appearance.

I collected Friday night’s fish and chips for Granny, put them a plate in a low oven to keep warm and went upstairs to get changed for the night out. I stood looking in the mirror at my new figure assisted by the shape-wear, admiring my now much more realistic breasts for a few minutes not believing how I had changed both physically and mentally in the last few months, before slipping on a new lacy bra, clean tights and finally my lovely dress which now fitted a lot better, hugging my new curves. My outfit was completed by some new 4’ stilettos and a delicate clutch bag, both matching the dress, which Kathy had talked me into buying.

When I went downstairs, Granny had a tear in her eye. “Gwen you are looking really beautiful tonight, I can’t understand why you let yourself go for so long wearing all those drab clothes, you must take a photo of us together and one of yourself to remind me what you can look like when you try.” I set my camera on a timer to take multiple shots to make sure that I got a good record for her and promised to get the best ones printed and framed. I laid out her dinner and made sure that she had everything she needed before my taxi arrived.

I was nervous about how I would be received by the other girls so I phoned Isobel to ask her to meet me outside and then walk in together.

“Oh Gwen, you are looking gorgeous, the other girls will be jealous.” she gushed as I walked towards her from my taxi, “Let’s have a good look at you.”

When we walked in, took off our coats and approached the table, other than Kathy they all looked at me quizzically, wondering who I was, but Isobel took over. “Hi girls let me introduce you to Gwen who will be joining us this evening, you all know her and have worked with her , although you probably remember her better as Glyn." There was a stunned silence as the chatter stopped, then a burst of excited squeals as the penny dropped and they realised who I was.

While we were having a congratulatory drink for Kathy before the waiter came to take our order, I was subjected to a constant baggage of questions and comments on the way I was now living, as Gwen, how long, did I feel weird, was I going to stay as Gwen, where did I get my dress, where did I get my hair done, would I be returning to work in the office? It soon settled down and after that I was just Gwen one of the girls having a night out with her friends. It was totally different to when I had previously been out for Friday drinks with Josie, Lyn, and Laura, I felt that I belonged with them and they felt that way about me too.

There was obviously a lot of chatter about babies and the birth experiences that some of the had gone through, some good, some bad, but they all encouraged Kathy that it would all be worth it in the end. I mainly listened during this spell, knowing that it was something that I would never experience, the girls just talked as if I wasn’t there, or at least as if Glyn wasn’t there.

At the end of the evening as we left, rater than the cool short goodbyes that I normally had from them all, I was hugged and cheek-kissed along with all the others before I left for my taxi home, and felt comfortable with them as a good crowd of friends.

After one of my rare nights out as Glyn I would often just fall onto my bed without bothering to get undressed, but that didn’t work for me as Gwen, there was all the bother of taking off the makeup and moisturising my face and tying up my hair so that it wouldn’t be all tangled in the morning. It was a strange feeling when I took off my bra and realised that the forms were stuck on me, and I was stuck with them. I thought that it wouldn’t be right to sleep in just my underwear and a t-shirt as I normally did and raided Gwen’s wardrobe again finding a light cotton shorts and cami-top sleep set which I thought was now more appropriate and which felt quite comfortable.

I had a long deep sleep and it was 10 o’clock by the time I woke and went downstairs to find Granny already up and about and a steaming cup of coffee on the kitchen table waiting for me.

“I thought that you might need this to freshen up before you do anything else, then you must show me the photos you took last night, but before we get into them, you must go and get dressed or at least put on a dressing gown, you young women have no modesty nowadays, we wouldn’t have even though about leaving our bedrooms half-dressed when I was your age.”

After the coffee had helped to clear my head, I went and quickly threw on a loose skirt and cotton top to keep her happy before we went through the photos and she selected the ones she wanted printed and framed.

Over the weekend granny seemed very tired and did not feel like going out anywhere, so I just pottered about in the house and garden, using it as an opportunity to get out of skirts and into trousers again, even if they were only a pair of Gwen’s old Capri pants.

I decided that when I went to the office on Monday morning, as the girls all now knew about me living as Gwen, that I would go in a bit later arriving after them all, wearing a plain skirt and blouse.They had seen me all dressed up for the night out and it was time that they met the workaday me with just a light touch of makeup.

When I walked into the office it was very much a non-event. Laura who was on reception gave me a quick greeting “Hi Gwen are you in to pick up your files for today? It was a good night on Friday wasn’t it, and after most of you went home Lyn and I went off clubbing and met a couple of quite tasty guys.” She just chatted to me as if it was the most normal thing for me to turn up wearing a skirt. It was very much the same with the others I saw on the way to Isobel’s office, I was just accepted without any fuss as Gwen.

“I’m glad you have come in Gwen.” Isobel greeted me, we have a problem, but it is not as bad as it could have been. Fiveways Automotive Supplies one of the companies whose annual accounts you compiled the week before last, are being investigated by the tax authorities, mainly for historical irregularities, and they want to review their recent submission as part of the investigation. As you are not yet fully qualified, I have to countersign any of your work, so they want to meet with both of us to discuss whether there are any problems in the current accounts. I was worried about having to ask you to come into the office as Gwen, but obviously that is no longer a problem. There is the matter though of Gwen not being employed by us, so, if it is ok with you, I would like to temporarily amend the staff records to change all references from Glyn to Gwen, when this is all cleared we can change everything back again, that is of course if Gwen is going to still be around for a while.”

“I had hoped that Granny would come back into acknowledging me as Glyn again, but it looks like that is not going to happen anytime soon, so Gwen will be around for the foreseeable future and unless it causes any legal problems it doesn’t really matters to me what name you have in your records.”

After collecting my work for the next few days I made my way home only to find Granny curled up on the floor in tears screaming for her mother to help her.

Between the tears she told me that she had stumbled getting out of her chair, couldn’t get up again and that her ankle and knee were very painful. When I tried to pick her up to get her on her feet she screamed with obvious pain of what looked to my untrained eye as a broken ankle, so I decided it would be best to call for an ambulance.

Soon she was being examined at the hospital while I sat outside in the waiting area. After a long wait I was approached by a worried-looking young female doctor.

“I’m Dr Marshall, I assume that you are Gwen, Mrs Owen’s granddaughter.”

“That’s right, how is she?”

“Physically she is not too bad, she has broken her ankle and badly wrenched her knee. It will all heal, but she needs to rest and keep off her feet for a few weeks, at her age the healing process is much longer. Considering her age and general frailty, we would like to keep her in for a few days to make sure that she is on the mend. That will allow us to examine her a bit more, she is extremely distraught and confused and I would like to follow up on that. I am concerned that her obvious confusion and forgetfulness is symptomatic of dementia, and I would like her to be assessed by a specialist. My initial reaction is that if she does not show a lot more clarity while she is being treated here, that it may be best if you arrange for a full-time carer or even look to place her in a care home.”

That really hit home with me, remembering her insistence that I was Gwen and nagging me into dressing and appearing as her. I had tried to play down the extent of her problems and just assumed that it was down to old age, not particularly a clinical problem.

Before I left I went in to see her, but she just looked at me blankly and didn’t respond when I tried to talk with her. When I left I was almost in tears, Granny Norma had always been there for Gwen and me, and the thought of abandoning her when she needed me really upset me.

When I got home I busied myself tidying up the place, before sitting down and sending an email to Gwen to let her know the situation.

An hour or so later my laptop pinged and when I opened it up, Gwen’s face stared at me from the FaceTime screen, without really thinking, worried about Granny, I accepted the call.

“Is that you Glyn, what on earth are you doing dressed like that?”

“Yes, it is me, it’s a long story and I’ll tell you about it in a few minutes, but first let me tell you about Granny and her problems.”

“Ok, thanks for putting me in the picture, I’ll arrange to come over to see her and help you out. Why on earth are you dressed as a woman, and with your hair styled and full makeup, how long has this been going on?”

“Granny has been getting a bit forgetful and cantankerous for a while but I never really worried too much about it, but on your birthday, she made a special celebration dinner for me, or actually for you as she thought that I was you. She started calling me Gwen and nagged me into dressing less like a tomboy and act a bit more femininely. Soon whenever I was home from work I was wearing some of the clothes and using the makeup that you left behind when you went off to California. One day at work I mentioned to some of the girls that Granny was now calling me Gwen and it jokingly became my nickname in the office. I’m working from home most of the time, but even then I am dressing as a woman to keep Granny happy, and when I have to go in to the office, I just go in as Gwen, the other girls just accept me now as one of them. There was a night out a few days ago to celebrate Kathy leaving to have a baby, and I made a special effort, went to the salon for a makeover and wore that lovely azure cocktail dress of yours. Granny insisted on lots of photos before I went with the pair of us together.”

“Really, you must send me copies, if you are pretending to be me, I need to ensure that you are making a decent job of it. Anyway, let’s leave it all until I get back to England. I’ll let you know my travel arrangements when I have booked. Lots of love, and I look forward to meeting the new you.”

Three days later I was waiting in the arrivals concourse at Manchester airport for the overnight flight from San Francisco international. As we were going be stopping off at the hospital to see Granny on the way, I dressed in my now unfamiliar clothes of a button-down shirt, chino slacks, and loafers, with all traces of makeup cleaned off, and with my hair brushed into something resembling a long shaggy male style, I felt it would only confuse and upset Granny if she was faced with two versions of Gwen. Gwen soon came out of the transit gate and looked around for me, but when she finally recognised me there was a look of disappointment in her eyes.

“Oh sorry Glyn, I was looking for you as Gwen, but even dressed like that you could still almost pass as a girl. After we’ve been to see Granny you will have to let me meet my namesake.”

Although granny was still in a state of confusion last time I had visited, we decided that Gwen should go in first and that I would wait outside the room. Granny looked up when Gwen entered and took a long hard look before saying anything.

“You’re looking different today Gwen, you have restyled your hair, and I can’t remember seeing that outfit before. Have you heard from that brother of yours, he has not been to see me for months, is he alright.”

“He’s here now Granny I thought it might be a bit of a shock for you to see him again, I’ll get him to come in now.”

We stayed for the rest of the afternoon, although for a lot of it she was dozing, and even when she was awake she was rambling and repeating stories getting us mixed up with stories about our mother. When we left, Gwen was in tears.

“You should have told me how bad she was getting, I would’ve come over earlier to help you look after her for a while. It must have been hard for you having to deal with her when she is like that.”

“Let’s go back home Gwen and we can discuss how best to deal with her.”

“Glyn I really would like to see you as Gwen, please go up and get changed and do yourself up.”

She looked shocked when I came back a bit later in a flared cotton skirt and sleeveless lacy top, fully made up and with my hair brushed into its now usual wavy shoulder-length style.

“Wow!” She muttered, pulling something out of her bag, “Have a look at this, you are the spitting image of me a few years ago when I got this photo driving licence. If you are driving around dressed like that you should have it in case you get stopped by the police, I don’t use it anymore I have my US licence now, and have never cancelled this one. What do you do about work, tax and national insurance and things like that?”

“I am still officially registered as Glyn, this was all supposed to be temporary until Granny’s confusion cleared up, but it looks like that is not going to happen. My boss at work has a problem with a client who needs to meet me as Gwen, so temporarily my in-house employment records now have me me listed as Gwen.”

“How long is this going on for Glyn? Oh, this is so confusing I can’t keep calling you Glyn while you look like that, and calling each other Gwen will sound strange, my middle name is Siân so that’s what I will call you for the moment. As I was saying Siân how long is this going on for?”

“I suppose that until Granny recovers of if we have to put her in a care home, I will need to stay as Gwen/Siân, after you go back to the States she will still expect to see her granddaughter. After that I don’t know what I will do. I have now got used to living as a female, the girls at work accept me, and to be honest, other than the medical problems with Granny, I am now happier and more settled than I have been for ages. I am much more comfortable meeting and chatting with people, and socialising with the girls in the office, dressing as a woman has really changed my character as well as my appearance.”

“Why not stay as Siân for a while, see how you get on, and leave any decision until……..you do not have to consider Granny’s feelings anymore. I’ll be here for the next few weeks anyway, just get on with your life, go and work in the office, really get to know what it would be like working full-time as a woman in an office full of other women, you might get to like it and accept it as your future, you may realise that it will not be a bed of roses and that you would be better off as Glyn, but at least you will know enough to make a decision.”

“What about you though, how do you feel about your brother Glyn becoming your sister Siân, isn’t it all a bit weird.”

“I’m about 5000 miles away from here, what does it matter what I think about how you are living your life. Besides, I quite like the idea of having a sister, I always wanted one to play with when we were younger, but got you instead. You go into the office in the morning and start learning what it would be like. Don’t worry about Granny, I’ll go in to the hospital in the afternoon and you can come along after work, and just come as you are, I’ll find a way to prepare her for having two granddaughters.”

I went in to the office the next morning for the meeting with Isobel and HMRc in relation to the accounts of Fiveways Automotive Supplies, slightly worried that I had missed something when preparing their accounts. However it turned out to be a storm in a teacup, the main problems were from previous years when our company had no responsibility for them and the discussions with us were really only to ensure that the discrepancies had not carried over.

“Well that’s all sorted now Gwen, if you wish you can go back to working as Glyn again, although we have all now got used to seeing you as Gwen.” Isobel added as she thanked me for helping to clear things up with HMRC. “What are you going to do now?”

“Granny is in hospital and my sister Gwen has come over from the US to help look after her, so I will be working in the office for the immediate future. As Granny will still expect to see me as Gwen, I will be continuing like this, if that is not a problem.”

“As I told you, your internal staff records now have you listed as Gwen, but soon we will have to sent our annual returns off in relation to income, tax and National Insurance contributions, and before then you need to decide whether you are officially Glyn or Gwen, think about it and let me know.”

After I left work I made my way to the hospital to find Gwen looking distraught and tearful.

“Granny is getting worse, she won’t eat or drink and is being difficult, playing up the nurses terribly. Despite that she said that she is happy where she is and does not want to go home. Unless she improves there is no way that you will be able to look after her by yourself after I return to Santa Cruz. I know that you will say that you don’t like the idea but the hospital have suggested moving her to a nearby nursing home, and I don’t really see another option.”

A week later Granny was moved to the Sunny Acres Nursing Home, but was now so confused that she didn’t really know where she was and was even no longer instantly recognising Gwen and me. We decided that she was better off getting full-time professional care and attention and made arrangements for her to move there permanently.

Tearfully, after a final visit to see Granny, I took Gwen to the airport for her flight home.

“What happens now Siân, it makes no difference to Granny what you look like and who you are, are you going to revert to being Glyn?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it. At first I started dressing just to try to keep Granny interested in what was going on, but I have become accustomed to living and working as a woman. The girls at work like me a lot better now and totally accept me , treating me just like all the others, I am a lot happier in myself, much more comfortable with people, I think that I will stay as I am. As they say ‘It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good’, I would never have wished for what has happened to Granny, but it has let me see a new direction in my life, a better direction. I have the chance to have a new start in my life as Siân and I intend to grab it with both hands.

“ Good for you Sis, we’ll speak soon.” With that she went off to Santa Cruz to resume her life and I went off home to start my Journey to becoming Siân.

The end.