CHAPTER 22
It was a day that left me more than a little out of sorts. I had smiled at the way Steph’n’Geoff danced attendance on each other, but each little moment raised Caro’s memory. That could, should, have been us, was my first thought, which was then kicked well into touch by the simple understanding that it HAD been us. The wave of loss left me silent most of the way back to Sheffield, and after Kul dropped me off I waited at my closed front door before he had turned the corner, then walked to the local convenience store and bought a half bottle of Grouse and a bottle of dry white.

Both were empty when I woke the next morning, but at least I was in bed, and undressed, although when I went to the loo I had to wipe a small puddle I had left during the night. Not good. I looked at the bike, realised I would definitely not be safe to ride, and after some milky cereal and a couple of slices of toast, I walked down to the bus stop and took the first one into town.

It was a pretty aimless day, wandering around the shops, having a second, greasier breakfast in a greasy spoon and picking up a couple of books as well as two CDs I had been eyeing for a couple of months. Stuff for a proper meal could come from my freezer, but I left the alcohol on the shelves, as I had already played that game for far too long back in That Place.

I simply felt empty.

“Mike?”

I looked round so sharply I felt my neck click

“Betty? Sorry; I was miles away”

“No you weren’t You’re about four feet away. What are you up to?”

“Ah, I was out with Kul and his boy yesterday, and today’s sort of all loose ends, so I just thought I’d have a bimble round the shops”

“Not that much open on a Sunday, is there?”

“Well, more than was available in That Place”

“The L-word?”

“Yes indeed. We had the Arndale Centre and, well, a load of Asian grocers and that sort of thing. And pubs. Lots of pubs”

“Well, I fancy a cuppa. You dry?”

Not last night, I wasn’t.

“You trying to entice me, Mrs Ansell?”

“Oh give over! Got enough problems with the old man!”

“I was referring to tempting me to drink a cuppa, woman”

“Oh, and there I was thinking… Well, a woman can dream. Cuppa, aye. Got some goss to share”

“Juicy?”

“Could be, but more likely to be greasy”

I could feel my mood lifting as she rattled away, and led me off to Marks and Spencer’s café. I was now feeling really hungry as I came down from my drunkenness, and along with my little pot of tea, I bought us each a toasted sandwich and a slice of “Ooh, just this once, then” cake. After my first bite of cheese and ham, I wiped my mouth and asked the obvious question.

“This gossip, then?”

“Eh? Oh, aye! Well, you know the Fettler’s?”

“The mocktails and pie floater place? I should bloody well think so by now”

“Well, the landlord had an idea”

“Why am I getting worried?”

“Oh? No, not that sort of idea. One to do with where he’s from”

“Not bloody ostrich steaks, like that other place in Leeds?”

“What place?”

“Out by the college. Was in the news the other day. You can order all sorts of meat as a burger or a steak. Ostrich, alligator, that sort of thing”

“Ah. No, not like that. And wouldn’t his be emu, anyway?”

“Good point. So what’s his idea?”

“Well, he’s from Australia, right?”

“Well, yes”

“He’s got family down there still, and he’s been speaking to the boss. Our boss, that is”

“Bit confused, Bets. What’s he want with the boss?”

She took a sip of her tea, staring at the cup for a few seconds.

“More the Board than Mr Enright. Jacko—the landlord—has a proposal”

“Decent or indecent?”

“Oh, give over! Decent, and interesting as well. His family, it is”

“You are a worse tease then… Sorry. Can’t think of an example. Tease, anyway. What’s he asking?”

“Well, it’s that turn-round thing. He’s got family back there, like I said, and they have friends and that, and it’s what we do with the grease and that. What you and Kul do, really”

“Me? I just give advice”

“Exactly. Thing is, them Aussies, they’re going all green and eco-stuff. The recycling thing is big, and his brother, he does biodiesel. Converts chip fat into road fuel. He could do with a few more grease suppliers. Jacko fancies having us sort some out for Big Brother, hands-on style”

“Bloody hell! You mean someone going over there, don’t you?”

“Yup. But don’t get your hopes up, there’ll be a lot of folk wanting that job”

“Hell, Bets, I’m still settling down”

She stared at me, very directly, for nearly a minute, then smiled.

“Aye. Put my foot in it right at the start, didn’t I? right. No teasing, Mike. How long has it been since, you know?”

I knew exactly what she meant, so I fixed the best smile I could drag out.

“Not that long, love. Don’t think it ever will be long enough”

She put her hand on mine.

“Aye. That I understand. Like me and my Mam, if you don’t mind me saying that. All I will say is, well, if the chance comes up, it might help the whatsit, grieving process. If I am out of order, mate, just tell me. Sod it”

She drew a slow breath.

“If I am out of order, forget telling me, just slap me. I think moving up here really helped you. I suspect going even further might do better, There: said it. News will come out in the next two days, so have a think. Now, how’s Kul doing with the climbing? Any really embarrassing goss?”

I did my best to come up with enough silliness to satisfy her, but my mind was on her news, and I am sure she fully understood that. The following weekend, I was back over in Bethesda, with a present for the Hiatts of a ‘Ouistiti’ children’s harness. Penny was giggling.

“You just assume, don’t you?”

“Oh, and knowing you two, could I ever be wrong?”

Keith was doing his best not to corpse himself, so I dragged out the harness and presented it to the Bearer Of The Gloves herself.

“Enfys?”

She put down her current Lego sculpture to look at the harness.

“Beth sy?”

Penny smiled at her.

“Dydy Ewi Mike ddim yn siarad yr iaith, cariad. English, ah?”

“Wossit, Uncle Mike?”

“It’s something you wear to go with Mum and Dad when they climb rocks, love”

“I got rocks!”

Penny laughed again.

“We sorted out a couple of those old belts from the club, made her a Parisian baudrier and sit harness with two of them and an eight foot sling”

“You got her climbing already?”

“Very small boulders, very tight rope. More sack hauling as yet than climbing. You up for a route this weekend? Weather’s not looking great. Could take her round the Kitchen, I suppose. Oh, and Geoff said he’d run into you and your mates at Stanage”

“Oh; yes. Bit of a shock for Dal. I’d already given Kul the heads-up at work, but the Woodruffs just turned up, plonked their kit next to ours and whoosh, steep learning curve for the lad. Anyway, a walk sounds good if it’s going to be wet”

“Well, she’ll want to visit the old bridge, for the waterfalls. Definitely goes on a rope there, especially when the water’s high.”

“Club tonight?”

“Yup. Vic and Nansi might not be out, though. Their kid’s being a bit difficult. Lots of sulks”

“Oh? That surprises me, after they’ve both been so good with the music”

“He’s still great there; just the rest of the time that’s the problem, and you can’t live your life in a pub, can you?”

Keith and I just stared at each other, eyebrows raised, until it became impossible not to corpse. Pen gave a sharp “Men!”, before she herself succumbed, and the laughter became even more raucous when Enfys appeared wearing her new harness, which was upside down.

She insisted on wearing it for our walk down to the hidden bridge the next day, as well as for that walk around Idwal, wearing what looked like a sailor’s dry suit and wellies. We did have the Edwards with us, their boy looking pale and drawn right up to the point where the children were released onto the broad path after the first wooden bridge.

The two little bundles of energy were yelling happily as they Splashed In Puddles and Stepped In Sheep Poo. The Slabs were running with water, especially the Ordinary Route, which was, in essence, a watercourse in spate, so of course there was a couple climbing it, water breaking round the leader’s waist. A moment of pain hit, remembering that day soling, and then the kids were Being Seagulls, with appropriate noises, and we were making our way up towards the Kitchen, a watercourse of our own to cross over which we handed the children, as their wellies were rather shorter than the water was deep, and socks and feet needed to stay dry.

The rain, which had been pretty persistent precipitation developed into a deluge as we arrived back at the gate by the lake, and my own socks were starting to feel moist as we started the descent. Dennis in the tea kiosk had hot jam doughnuts for the kids, which he insisted be left for a few minutes because they would be “Poeth yn y ganol” and he didn’t want little faces burned by hot strawberry sludge.

The club was without paid guest that night; after we had all dried off and two children were made ready to bed down in Enfys’ room under Galadriel’s watchful eye, five of us started what was now for me a familiar walk down to the Cow. Sausage and mash, with several pints of decent ale, and I found myself chuckling at Penny’s claim about living in a pub. As the rain hammered against the windows, it seemed an eminently practical idea. That rain was running down the streets as we trudged back up, and once I had my boots back off and stuffed with newspaper (Welsh ones, I noted), two women and myself looked in on the children, both fast asleep in the one bed.

Nansi shook her head in an odd way, and then we went back down for a last cuppa before the two couples headed for ‘master’ and ‘spare’ bedrooms, and I slipped on my approach shoes for the walk to the bunkhouse, boots left to dry in the Hiatts’ kitchen. Nansi looked pensive.

“I won’t say ‘penny for them’, Nansi, because these two will simply make a joke, but you know what I mean”

Her lips quirked, and she took Vic’s hand.

“Ah, Mike, been hard recently. Today was typical, really. Miserable as all hell before we came out, then he’s with her and it’s like a switch is thrown. They’re in a reception year now, and the teacher says Dafi doesn’t want to play with anyone else. Seeing them lying like that, I worry he’s getting a fixation. He won’t go near the other boys, and that could cause real problems when he gets older”

“You can’t… That age is a bit young to be thinking ‘gay’, Nansi. That is what you’ve got in mind, isn’t it?”

She shook her head.

“Ah, never that simple, Mike. I mean, if they were older and locked together like that, it would all be normal, something for the other kids to be jealous of, but boys hanging round girls, young ones, ah? He’ll be getting called a sissy till teenage years, and, well, everything that goes with it”

I couldn’t do anything but agree with her.

“Yup. Means we will all have to watch his back, then. Not tonight, though: don’t think the two of them could have looked more at peace”

Vic looked at me across their joined hands.

“You mean that. Statement, not question, ah? These two don’t pick bad folk for friends, do they?”

I could feel my cheeks heating, so I finished my cup and rose from my seat.

“Well, I owe them both a lot, so yes. Now, time to get to my pit, I think. Soonest into that rain, soonest out of it”

Keith waved at the door.

“Got a brolly in the porch; would help”

I grinned, slightly sheepish.

“Yes, it would. Just hope nobody sees me with it. Night, all!”

The umbrella did help, and after doing my teeth, and a last visit to the loo, I settled down in a space that didn’t hold one of the various campers who had chosen a roof over a tent in that weather.

I did owe them a lot: a wife, for starters, and now a back to watch.