“Liam?” Sonia calls from the living room, making me groan as I wake up. “Come on, time to get up!”

“Yeah, I’m awake,” I reply, not even bothering to stifle my yawn.

It’s been two weeks since I started my new school, and in that time, I’ve gradually started to settle into my new routine. I get up, I get dressed, I go to school, I sit in my lessons, I come home, I go to bed. The same thing pretty much every other student at the school does, but for me, everything still feels alien, like I'm living someone else's life. Every day I wake up, I’m keenly aware that I’m not in the place I still consider to be my home, and that when I leave my bedroom, my parents aren’t there to greet me- nor will they ever be again. I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t cried myself to sleep at any point over the past couple of weeks.

Sonia, though, has gone above and beyond to make me feel as at home as possible. In the last few weeks, my bedroom has gone from an empty box with a bed in it to something much more 'me'. My shelves have my books and DVDs on them, my walls have been adorned with posters of cars and my favourite sports team, the LA Lakers, and my wardrobe is full of clothes- boys’ clothes. Shirts, trousers, jumpers… but nothing that would be suitable for ‘Lisa’.

Ever since our talk after Melanie’s birthday, nothing more has been said about the ‘dress-up sessions’ I had- or rather, my sisters forced me to have. As far as Sonia’s concerned, it’s clearly a thing of the past, and as we haven’t seen Melanie since her birthday, she obviously hasn’t had the chance to ‘tease’ me about it either. And yet, as hard as I try, I can’t stop thinking about it. Every day at school, I see the girls nonchalantly wearing their pleated skirts, their thick tights and tiny black shoes, with their hair long, in ponytails or buns, and all I can think is: how can they be so blasé about it? I would give anything just to be able to go to school as a girl, to come home as a girl and spend time with my sisters, AS their sister. And yet, I can’t. Because every time I have this type of thought, one more invasive thought plagues my mind: what would my parents have thought?

Of course, there’s no way of knowing for certain. Mum and dad could’ve been perfectly fine with me wishing I was a girl. They could’ve enabled me, even encouraged me and defended me from the inevitable abuse I’d have got from my sisters. Alternatively, they could’ve been ballistically angry and sent me to some kind of super-strict military boarding school somewhere. Though even at a place like that, I doubt the other students would've been any different from the boys I encounter every day at my new school.

“Alright, Liam?” Harry- the boy who sits closest to me in form (and would sit next to me if not for covid) and ‘unofficial guide’ to my new school says as I drop my bag under my desk and sit down next to him.

“Alright,” I reply, trying not to sigh at the fact that today is starting just the same as every other day since the start of the school year- and will inevitably continue that way as well. “Did you have a good weekend?”

“Meh, same as always,” Harry replies with a shrug. “Couldn’t go anywhere or do anything so just played FIFA and Call of Duty all weekend. You?”

“The same,” I reply with a shrug, even though I don't actually own a games console, much less any of the games Harry spends every evening sat in front of. “Just- yep.”

“Ugh, yeah,” Harry snorts. “Really miss going to Loftus Road with my dad, the sooner football grounds reopen, the better.” I bite my lip as my friend inadvertently reminds me that I no longer have the option of doing ANYTHING with my father anymore- not that he, or indeed anyone else at the school knows that.

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Did you ever go to many matches?” Harry asks as I inwardly grimace. “In Luton, I mean.”

“Uh- not really,” I reply as I wonder if Harry ever thinks about anything other than football.

“Heh, guess you wouldn’t want to waste the money,” my new friend teases. I open my mouth to reply, but immediately suppress a sigh of relief as Mr. Simmons arrives to start the form session.

My first lesson of the day (after form) is History, which I spend sitting with Harry, listening to him and the other boys in our ‘group’ talking about the very unhistorical topics of football and videogames. The second lesson is maths, which progresses the exact same way. Then comes breaktime, which I spend hanging out with Harry and his friends telling their usual stories, while I barely listen and don’t contribute at all. The only time I really pay attention is when the boys start talking about the girls in their classes- though even then, the only thing they talk about is which girls they think are ‘up for it’. Fortunately, breaktime ends quickly enough, but my heart then sinks as I realise that my third lesson of the day is PE- meaning I go from twenty minutes of talking about football to sixty minutes of playing it. After I change, though, I’m reminded of one of the quirks of my new school’s layout- that the boys’ changing rooms are adjacent to the girls’. What that means is that as we head out to the playing fields, we get to see the girls heading into the nearby sports hall, most dressed in plain t-shirts and shorts, but a select few are dressed in very fancy-looking multi-coloured leotards.

My attention must have lingered on the girls for too long, as the next thing I know, Harry is giving me a subtle elbow in my ribs, followed by a snort of laughter.

“Go on, which girl were you looking at?” Harry teases me.

“Umm, I- I don’t really know any of them well enough to, you know, ‘look’ like that,” I reply truthfully- in the two weeks I’ve been at the school, I’ve maybe exchanged ten words in total with any of the girls in all of my classes.

“Yeah, you don’t really need to know their names to know which ones are fit though, do you?” Harry asks with another snort of laughter.

“I was- I was just wondering why none of the girls do football,” I reply defensively. “I mean, the Lionesses did reach the semis of last year’s World Cup, right?”

“Meh, that’s just how it is,” Harry retorts. “Boys do footy, girls do gymnastics. Probably afraid of getting their hair muddy, heh. But look at it this way- if the girls did football, we’d then have to do gymnastics, and do you want to spend all afternoon prancing around in a leotard?”

“Umm, nope,” I reply, earning a smirk from my new friend as we start warming up, while my mind drifts back to when my sisters gave me an 'impromptu PE lesson'.

“Come on Liam- sorry, Lisa!” Melanie said as my cheeks flushed. “We haven’t got all day!” I kept my head bowed low as I walked into my sister’s bedroom, where both she and Sonia let out a howl of laughter as they saw me desperately trying to keep the straps of Melanie’s baggy (on me, at least) red leotard from slipping off my shoulders.

“Not exactly Beth Tweddle, is she?” Sonia asked between laughs.

“More like Beth Waddle!” Melanie sniggered. “Come on, come on! We haven’t got all day, and you do want to make the most of your gymnastics lesson, don’t you?”

“I feel stupid,” I feebly mumbled in reply.

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Sonia chastised me. “I’m sure you’ll grow into the leotard, hehe! Now come on, we don’t have all day!”

“And aren’t you grateful I kept the leotard so that you could have it one day?” Melanie- who by this point, was seventeen and hadn’t actually done any gymnastics for four years- asked. Naturally, all I could do is nod in reply- by that point, I was eight years old and had long since learned that the fastest way to deal with my sisters’ abuse was to just grin and bear it, and hope that it’d be over and done with as soon as possible.

“Okay,” Sonia said, assuming the unofficial role of ‘coach’. “Now first things first, show me how to do a forward roll!” With my head held low, I lowered myself to the floor and rolled forward, hoping in vain that this would be the end of my torment. Naturally, my sisters weren’t even close to done with me.

“You call THAT a forward roll?” Melanie sneered. “Do it properly this time!”

“And try to cover yourself up a bit more!” Sonia laughed as I hastily clutched the gusset of the leotard. “What self-respecting gymnast would do a forward roll with their panties showing?” With my cheeks on fire, I performed another forward roll, only quicker this time, and stood up into a proper ‘gymnast’s pose’ when I was done. Even this wasn’t enough for my sisters, who spent the next twenty minutes drilling me, prodding me and constantly tormenting me as I rolled around Melanie’s bedroom for the next 15 minutes, before finally being allowed to take the leotard off.

Even that, though, was more enjoyable than running around the football pitch for an hour with a bunch of teenaged meatheads. And even though we're tired from the afternoon's exertions as we head back to the changing rooms, that doesn't stop Harry from picking up his 'interrogation' from where he left off.

“So come on, then,” Harry chuckles. “Now that you’ve had time to think about it, which one of the girls do you fancy the most?"

“Wh- what, of the gymnasts?” I ask.

“Sure, I guess,” Harry replies with a shrug. “Or any other girl you fancy, like.” Sensing that my friend isn’t going to drop the subject, I gaze over at the girls heading back into their changing rooms, looking for any girl that Harry might agree is 'fit'.

“Umm, the- the one at the end there,” I say gesturing to a brown-haired girl in a sleeveless leotard. Needless to say, I quickly discover that this was the wrong answer.

“…What, Lily?” Harry asks with a chuckle. “Lily Ruddock?”

“Is that her name?” I ask, trying to nonchalantly shrug off the fact that Harry’s going to tease me for days for this faux pas. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Oh, mate,” Harry says between roars of laughter. “I- I get that you probably don’t know, but there’s a reason this school’s known as ‘London’s trans school’, heh!”

“What, trans as in-“ I ask, trying desperately to disguise the fact that my heart is almost fluttering with excitement.

“Oh, mate,” Harry repeats, still laughing uncontrollably. “There’s a bit more to the story than just that, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow if you remind me.”

“Fair enough,” I say with a shrug, even as my heart continues to beat faster at the news.

A ‘trans school’? I think to myself. This is the first I’ve heard of it. Why is this the first I’ve heard of it? Lily’s even in a couple of my classes, not that I’ve ‘noticed’ her up to now. Did I subconsciously choose her because I somehow ‘knew’ about her? She’s completely indistinguishable from a cis girl- she was even wearing a leotard, for heaven’s sake.

Needless to say, Lily- more specifically, what Harry said about her- sticks in my brain all throughout my final lesson of the day, even though she isn’t even in the class. When the bell rings to signal the end of the school day, it’s all I can do not to run out of the building in my eagerness to get home- an eagerness my sister quickly picks up on when I do eventually walk through the front door.

“Afternoon, then,” Sonia says with a chuckle as I take off my coat and shoes and immediately sit down on the sofa, phone in hand. “…Hi Sonia, nice to see you. I get that teenagers are meant to be obsessed with their phones, but THIS is a bit much. Are you messaging a girl, maybe?” I try not to flinch at the teasing tone of voice Sonia uses- which isn't easy when I heard it for virtually every day of my life as a child.

“No,” I mumble in reply, hoping in vain that this will satisfy my sister, not least because I am checking out the Facebook profile of a girl- specifically, Lily Ruddock, whose profile was easy to find through the few friends I’ve already made at school who have added me on Facebook.

“Messaging a boy?” Sonia teases, smirking as I glare at her. “Okay, okay, no need to be like THAT. D’you want anything in particular for dinner?”

“I don’t mind,” I reply with a shrug as I continue to examine Lily’s Facebook page.

Everything about Lily- or at least, her Facebook page- suggests that she is an ordinary thirteen-year-old girl. Her page is full of memes and viral videos, there are loads of photos and videos of her and her friends, her family (including her VERY attractive older sister) and her dancing on the tips of her toes at a ballet class (which looks extremely painful, but Lily looks effortlessly elegant doing it). Her page is certainly a far cry from my own page, which is filled with sports memes and videos of TV shows like Top Gear or The Mandalorian. Looking at the life Lily has, compared with what my life is- or, moreover, could’ve been- I can’t help but be filled with a twinge of envy. As so often happens, I close my eyes and wonder what it'd be like to just show up to school tomorrow as a girl and have everyone accept 'Lisa' for who she is- even though I know, deep down, that it'll never happen.

After dinner, I head through to my room to do homework, but my attention keeps drifting back to my phone- specifically, Lily’s Facebook profile again. I briefly consider sending her a friend request, but the fact that we’ve never so much as exchanged two words at school, and the fact that we have precisely zero mutual friends puts an end to that idea. Nonetheless, even as I go to bed, I can’t stop thinking about her- or rather, how I could’ve had the life she has, if only I’d been brave enough to tell my parents the truth while I had the chance.

My phone’s alarm wakes me at 7am the following morning, and I waste no time in eating breakfast and getting dressed- though I take care not to appear TOO eager to get to school- I don't want another grilling from Sonia, after all. Nonetheless, I’m soon on my way out the door and heading toward my school, where I try (to no avail, sadly) to stealthily keep an eye out for Lily en route to my form room. Before long, I'm sat down next to Harry, ready to start the day.

“Morning,” I say to my friend and ‘guide’.

“Morning,” Harry replies, and even though I brace myself for more teasing regarding Lily, to my surprise, it’s not forthcoming- either he’s genuinely forgotten about his promise yesterday, or he’s waiting for me to bring it up- which would no doubt result in more teasing from him. However, I don’t get the opportunity to find out which one it is, as Mr. Simmons quickly arrives to start the form session.

Harry is in neither of my first two lessons of the day- and, more to the point, neither is Lily- meaning the next opportunity to speak to him is at breaktime, and it’s virtually impossible to get a word in edgeways with the boys talking about their usual shit. All the while, while pretending to listen to my new friends, I can’t help but focus on the table where Lily is sat, along with a load of other girls (and surprisingly, a couple of boys too). Even as my (male) friends speak, my thoughts are occupied with what it must be like to be one of those girls, and what they’re all talking about- something I've wondered about for many, many years.

“Ugh,” I groaned with frustration as I laid in my bed, unable to sleep due to the noise from directly beneath me. It was Sonia’s eighteenth birthday party, and while I went to bed early (having only just turned six myself), the noise coming from the living room ensured I wasn’t going to get much rest no matter what. And then, the inevitable happened.

“Oh Liam…” Melanie teased outside my bedroom door. “Come down and join the party!”

“I’m tired,” I feebly retorted. “I don’t want to…”

“No, come down and join the party now!” Melanie insisted, and just as I had countless times before, I felt myself climb out of bed, wondering what humiliation my sisters had in mind for me when I eventually did go downstairs- though this time, I didn’t even make it past my bedroom door.

“Melanie!” Dad snapped. “You know your brother doesn’t belong at that party, so leave the poor boy alone and let him sleep!”

“Thanks, dad,” I mumbled as Melanie slunk back downstairs, glad to be spared my usual humiliation even as a part of me frowned at his words- ‘doesn’t belong at that party’. Or any girls’ party. Or any girl's anything, even…

My third lesson of the day is IT, and while it’s usually one of my favourite lessons anyway, today that’s even more true as I step into the computer room to discover Lily sat at one of the PCs a few seats along from me- not that she notices me, of course. I try not to gaze as I sit down and Miss Henderson starts the lesson, but all throughout the hour, I keep glancing across the room at Lily. However, just as with her Facebook page, there’s nothing to suggest that she’s anything other than an ordinary 13 year old girl, and as the lesson ends, she grabs her bag and heads outside with the rest of her friends, none the wiser about my ‘looking’ at her- and especially not about the conflict I feel deep down inside.

Rather than follow my normal route out to where my friends are waiting, I instead follow Lily and her friends out of the building and toward the playground, taking care not to get TOO close to her- I’m all too aware of how my behaviour could be perceived as creepy, stalkerish, even. And yet, I can’t shake this feeling from my mind that this girl is living the life I desperately want to- not that all the other girls in school aren’t, of course, but after what Harry said yesterday, I feel this burning sensation whenever I look at Lily. Is this jealousy?

My question, however, goes unanswered when my 'guide' suddenly appears from out of nowhere.

“Alright mate?” Harry asks as I try not to frown at my train of thought being interrupted. “You lost or something? Quickest way out to the playing field’s down the east stairs.”

“Umm, yeah, I- I’m, like, still getting used to the school, finding my way around, sort of thing,” I half-heartedly mumble in reply. “Want to get familiar with it, like.”

“Okay,” Harry says with a shrug as I breathe a sigh of relief. “It’s got nothing to do with the fact your ‘girlfriend’ is about twenty feet ahead of us, does it?” Shit! I think to myself.

“What?” I ask defensively, even though it's obvious that I know exactly what Harry's talking about.

“The same girl you were perving over yesterday afternoon, after footy?” Harry says, laughing as I roll my eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Not until I need a good laugh, anyway!”

“’Thanks’,” I snort sarcastically as we head out of the building where, as I had originally planned, we walk past the table where Lily sits with her friends, all of whom are deep in conversation and don't even notice our presence. As we pass the table, though, a loud shriek of laughter from one of the girls stops us in our tracks and makes Harry sigh and roll his eyes.

“That’s one of the special needs kids,” Harry explains to me, before turning his attention to the table. “Zip it, Rosie Jones!” Before we can move on, though, the same girl stands up and stares directly at us- though what she says surprises me.

“Aww, thank you!” The girl replies in an unsteady but determined voice.

“What?” Harry sneers. “What are you thanking me for?”

“For calling me Rosie Jones!” The girl replies.

“How is THAT a compliment?” Harry scoffs.

“It’s a compliment,” the girl replies, “because Rosie Jones is my hero! She’s a successful comedian, a TV presenter and a national celebrity, and despite her disability, she’s done more with her life than either of you two fucking losers ever will! If you really wanted to insult me, you should have called me by YOUR name!” I feel my cheeks burn as the others at the table all cheer their friend on- but what I’m most embarrassed about isn’t the put-down, but rather the fact that they- especially Lily- are lumping me in the same group as Harry.

“Whatever,” Harry snorts as he walks away, practically dragging me after him. I can’t help but feel miserable as I go, though- not because of the insult that was just hurled in my face, but because now, thanks to Harry, there's NO way Lily will ever want to be friends with me...

Naturally, the insult isn’t brought up when we eventually rendezvous with the rest of our group, but it plays on my mind all throughout the lunch period and the final lesson of the day. I let out a sigh of relief when the bell finally rings to signal the end of the school day, hastily gathering up my stuff and getting ready to make the short walk home. As I walk through the corridors, though, my stomach churns when I see, a short distance in front of me, the same girl that Harry insulted at lunchtime, slowly making her way down the corridor with the aid of her crutches. I frown as a familiar sensation of shame starts to overwhelm me- every word she said cut me just as deeply as the 'teasing' I got from Sonia and Melanie when I was younger. However, unlike my sisters, this girl is the same age as me- and unlike my sisters' malicious behaviour, her anger is justified, even if Harry is who it should really be aimed at. I take a deep breath as I slowly walk alongside her, trying not to flinch as she notices me.

“H- hi,” I say quietly, flinching as the dark-haired girl glares at me angrily.

“What do YOU want?” She snarls. “Come to call me more names? Maybe kick my crutches away? It’s nothing I haven’t heard or been through before.”

“Umm- no, I- I want to apologise,” I say, biting my lip as the girl stops in her tracks, but keeps frowning. “What Harry said, it- umm, him insulting you was uncalled for, but I- I thought it was cool how you, like, took it as a compliment, if that makes sense.”

“…Well I accept your apology,” the girl says, “but you didn’t apologise for what YOU did.” Huh? I think to myself as I replay the incident over and over in my mind.

“But I- I didn’t do anything,” I stammer.

“Exactly,” the girl sneers. “You just stood back and let him take the piss.”

“I- I didn’t agree with him,” I plead.

“Could’ve fooled me,” the girl spits as she walks away again, no doubt heading home to tell all her friends- especially Lily- how I botched this apology and how I’m no better than Harry.

“Okay, I- I’m sorry I didn’t speak up,” I say, trying my best to show how sincere I am. “I- I don’t know what it’s like for you to experience what you did, and I should’ve called it out.” Much to my relief, the girl turns back to me and a smile starts to spread across her face. “And for what it’s worth, I- I like the Last Leg, so- yeah. I think Rosie Jones is cool too.”

“Okay,” the girl muses. “That’s step one toward not being a dickhead anymore.”

“Th- thanks, I think,” I chuckle. “What’s step two?”

“Step two is asking what step two is,” the girl says, before letting out a loud, genuine laugh. “I’m Daisy, by the way, Daisy Hawkins.”

“Liam Maxwell,” I reply. “I would shake your hand, but, you know, covid.”

“And I’m not a big fan of falling over,” Daisy says, gesturing to her crutches. “I’d better go before my parents think I HAVE fallen over or something.”

“O- okay,” I say, exchanging a smile with my new friend before heading out of the school building, feeling relieved that instead of an enemy, I've ended up making a new friend- especially as it means that I'm now technically a 'friend of a friend' of Lily.

As always, when I return home, I take off my shoes and my coat and drop my bag in the hallway, before parking myself down on the sofa, phone in hand. When I unlock it, I let out a grunt of surprise when I realise that when I’d locked it this morning, I’d been on Lily’s Facebook page. Even though it hasn’t been updated since then- as she’s been at school like me, obviously- I still lazily scroll through her many photos and videos, imagining what it would be like to live her life.

“Good afternoon to you too,” Sonia says as she exits the kitchen and sees me sat on the sofa. I hastily put my phone back in my pocket before looking up at my sister and forcing a smile on my face.

“Hi,” I mumble, trying to detract attention from my phone- though as I know from experience (and lots of it), all this does is draw my sister's attention directly toward it.

“What were you looking at?” Sonia asks, reaching for my pocket only to pull away when I flinch. “…There’s no need to be so defensive, I’m just curious, that’s all.”

“It- it’s nothing,” I reply.

“The same ‘nothing’ you were obsessing over yesterday?” Sonia teases, before sighing as I blush. “Okay, okay, I know you want your privacy, I won’t ‘poke’ any further.” I smile and nod, only to frown with confusion as Sonia’s cheeks suddenly start to redden. “Though… actually, talk- umm, on the subject, of- like, you know…” My sister stammers. “Are you- like, have you- when, like, dad was alive, did he- I mean, did he and you, like, discuss-“

“If- if you mean sex, then yes, we did,” I mumble, my own cheeks quickly flushing.

“Oh thank god,” Sonia whispers, before taking a deep breath. “Well, you- if, like, you need any, umm, advice- or, I mean, help- or, you know, if you have any questions, I’m-“

“Th- thanks,” I interrupt, making my sister somehow look even more relieved than before. I doubt I could ask you about what I really want to, though, I ruefully think to myself.

“So, then…” Sonia says as the devilish smile slowly returns to her face. “What’s her name?” So much for ‘privacy’, I think to myself. “Oh, come on, you know I’m only going to keep asking until you tell me, and it’s not like I can go blurting it out to anyone, is it?” I wouldn’t put it past you to find a way, I think as I sigh and hand over my phone. “So then… Lily Ruddock? Nice name. Not a bad looking girl, either. Ooh, and a dancer, too? No wonder she’s your first crush, hehe!”

“She’s not my crush,” I mumble. “She’s- she’s just, like, a friend from school.” Who I desperately want to be like, I mentally continue.

“SURE she is,” Sonia giggles as she hands me back my phone. “Then why haven’t you sent her a friend request yet?” Shit, I haven’t, have I? I think as I hastily lock my phone to protect what little privacy I have left.

“I, umm, I- I’ve not really, like, got to know her, or talked to her much…” I feebly mumble as a disapproving look spreads across my sister’s face.

“Ugh, Liam…” Sonia sighs. “It- it’s okay to have a crush on someone, okay? But- but don’t, you know, be too, like, ‘eager’…”

“Umm… okay?” I mumble, confused by Sonia's advice even if she still believes Lily to be my crush.

“I mean-“ Sonia says, before taking a deep breath. “You’re getting to the age that- well, what I mean is- don’t- don’t be creepy, okay?”

“…Okay?” I say, frowning as I realise that yes, envying the life of another teenager- especially one the opposite gender- could be considered 'creepy'. However, as Sonia continues, I realise that's not exactly what she meant.

“What I mean is-“ Sonia says, before sighing again. “Don’t be a stalker, okay? You’re getting to that age- which means that this girl is too- that, well, ‘things’ start to, like, become more important to you. And that’s okay, but obsessing over a girl can- and, like, not that I’m accusing you of anything, but- but be sensitive to how SHE feels. And if she wants you to leave her alone, you do so, and that means online as well, okay?”

“Okay,” I repeat for the third time as I silently pray for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Though as embarrassed as I feel right now, I know one way it could be much, much worse. “Can- can you not tell Melanie about this, please?”

“I- I don’t see why she needs to know,” Sonia replies with a warm smile that I mirror. “Now come on, I need your help getting dinner ready, unless you plan on sitting on your arse all afternoon?”

“Fine,” I say as I follow my sister into the kitchen. Maybe I do have a crush on Lily as well? I guess it's not impossible, she IS cute, despite what Harry says. Though the more I think about it, the more I realise that if I had to choose between being Lily, or being her boyfriend, I'd choose the former in a heartbeat.

After dinner, I follow my normal routine of heading to my bedroom, ostensibly to do homework, but despite my sister’s caution, it doesn’t take me long for me to find my way back onto my phone and onto Facebook. My heart almost skips a beat as I quickly discover that Lily has posted a new photo of her and several of her friends- but, noticeably, not Daisy- at their newly reopened ballet class, each posing gracefully in their black leotards, pink tights and shiny toe shoes with their hair in tight, immaculate buns. As I look, I grow ever more jealous of how effortlessly feminine she is- literally every inch of her screams 'girl', and there isn't a single cell in my body that can claim the same. I'm not even able to pretend, as much as I want to- even if I did muster up the courage to wear any of my sister's clothes, I'd never get the chance to, as she never leaves the flat, not even for work. It’s ironic- the same sister who didn’t hesitate to dress me up in her clothes when I was younger is the reason why I can’t do so now.

I do eventually finish my homework before going to bed, but once again, my dreams are filled with thoughts of the girl I can’t stop thinking about- alongside thoughts of myself being a ballerina alongside her.

Wednesday morning starts just as Monday and Tuesday did, and much to my relief, Sonia doesn’t pick up yesterday’s conversation about Lily from where we left off. In fact, we hardly exchange any words before the time comes for her to log in to her work terminal and me to make the short walk to my school, where I internally brace myself for yet more teasing from my ‘new best friend’. When I arrive, though, I am greeted by one of my newest friends- but not Harry.

“Hi Liam!” Daisy says with a wide, beaming grin as I approach.

“Oh, umm, hi Daisy!” I reply, surprised by the girl’s change of attitude from yesterday, but glad she's not staring daggers at me anymore. “Nice to, like, talk to you!”

“You too!” Daisy says with a loud laugh. “And this was step three, by the way: not being ashamed to talk to me in front of everyone!”

“…Why would I be?” I ask, sharing a grin with my newest friend.

“Exactly,” Daisy says, before she hobbles away to meet up with her friends, all of whom are smiling supportively at both her and, surprisingly me- including Lily.

“What were you talking to HER about?” Harry sneers as he comes up to me- clearly still smarting from his verbal beatdown yesterday.

“Oh- nothing, really,” I semi-lie in reply as I ponder the difference between the two greetings I received today- sneering from Harry, but smiles and acceptance from Daisy, Lily and her friends. In less than sixty seconds, I've had firm proof that it's much, much better to be friends with girls than with boys- just as, in my heart, I truly know that it'd be much, much better to be a girl than a boy. And now that I’m friends with Daisy, I can get closer to Lily, and learn what I need to know to grow closer to the one girl I want to be closest to of all- to Lisa.