‘You haven’t got her address!’ said Alison, her voice rising above a whisper for the first time...


We Shall Fight On The Beaches...

Chapter 6

By Susan Brown

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Previously...

Just then, we heard some piano music and laughter in the distance. Sneaking around a corner, we saw a pub called the Blue Peter Inn. I was tempted to go and look to see who was in there but, I was dragged back by Claire and told not to be silly.

It was a bit stupid, thinking about it!

Mind you, I thought that it was a bit thick, with all the terrible things happening, that people
could laugh and sing like that; didn’t they know what was going on all around the country?

We went back around the corner and then everyone was looking at me.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘Well, where does your Nan live then?’ asked Ethel.

‘Erm, well girls, it’s like this...’

And now the story continues…

‘What do you mean “it’s like this?”’ asked Alison.

‘I haven’t actually got her address, but...’

‘You haven’t got her address!’ said Alison, her voice rising above a whisper for the first time.

‘Shhhh!’ said everyone as Alison looked like she was going to start shouting and raise the village before long.

We went further down the road and into an alley, where I tried to explain the situation.

‘Look,’ I said, ‘I don’t think that my mum ever told me the address and the last time we came down here I was very young, but...’

‘Well, that’s just great,’ said Alison, ‘we come all the way down here risking our lives and when we get here, little Miss Perfect doesn’t even know where we are supposed to be going. I think...’

‘No-one cares what you think,’ said Glad, ‘if you can keep your mouth shut for five seconds and then maybe Carol can explain.’

Alison looked as if she wanted to argue some more so I hurried on with my explanation.

‘Look I know that I should have told you more, but I was convinced that once we were down here, I would be able to find her house without much trouble.’

I explained what I knew about the house and where roughly it was.

‘Well, that’s quite a good description,’ said Ethel kindly, making me feel a bit better, ‘but at this time of night, it could be difficult to find it.’

‘We can’t go about during the day,’ said Claire, ‘we would look suspicious and we don’t know what it’s like around here. The place looks could be crawling with Germans for all we know.’

‘We haven’t seen any yet though,’ said Alison sounding more reasonable now that she had calmed down a bit. She looked at me and mouthed, ‘sorry.’

I smiled and just winked. I didn’t know what it would be like to have periods, but by the look of it, I was kind of pleased that I would never have to worry about that aspect of being a girl; talk about being up and down all the time!

‘Look, we can’t just stay here,’ said Claire, ‘we have to go and at least have a look around while it’s reasonably quiet. Apart from the pub, the place seems deserted. Let’s at least have a look-see and maybe we’ll be lucky.’

So without a further word, we carefully left the alley where we had been hiding and made our way back to the waterfront where I hoped we would find my Nan’s house.

Apart from the sound of music and singing from the pub, all was quite except for the raucous cries of the seagulls overhead and around us and a fishing boat at the other end of the harbour that looked like it was just about to go to sea, we could see the figures on the deck and the lights of the boat. They were too far away for us to be worried about them though.

We carefully went past the big fish shed which, not surprisingly, smelt strongly of fish, and then carried on along the edge of the harbour. I was kind of convinced that the way we needed to go was over the other side of the harbour. I somehow seemed to recall that that was the side we should be. I had been so young when I had last visited the village, but some sort of instinctive reasoning told me that I was right.

There wasn’t much light about. I didn’t know why, maybe the blackout was still in force or something, but there were few houses that had lights showing in the windows. We made our way past several houses and a few shops and then we were on the opposite side, facing the fish sheds and near where the pub was. Even at that distance we could hear the singing and laughter coming from the pub and I felt some resentment that those drinkers could actually be enjoying themselves when our country had been invaded and taken over by the hated enemy. It was funny, in London there were swastika flags everywhere but here, I hadn’t seen one. Mind you, it was dark and I may just not be able to see any signs of occupation in the gloom.

Anyway we just carried on. Maybe, we should have paid more attention, because we were suddenly confronted by a man – a policeman! Where he popped up from, I had no idea. One moment all was clear and the next he was there!

‘What the ‘ell are you kids doin’ out on the streets at this time o’ night? There’s a bliddy curfew, yer knows that. ‘Ere, I don’t know you. Where the ‘ell ‘ave yer comes from?’

We should have just run away, but where we came from, the last thing you did was run away from a policeman. My heart was in my mouth. I had no idea how the others felt, but I was quaking in my shoes. We had no idea how much the police force was in the pockets of the Germans and we may have just landed ourselves in a whole heap of trouble!

Somehow, I found my courage and stepped forward.

‘I’m looking for my Nan; well, we all are.’ I finished lamely waving a hand in the general direction of my friends.

‘And who the ‘ell is your Nan?’

‘D...Dora Mills, Sir.’

‘’Don’t you go “sirrin’” me; I’m a constable. Dora Mills yer say, well she lives downalong The Warren over there.’

He pointed down the road.

‘Tis the Blue cottage; yer can’t miss it as it’s the only one that colour. I won’t ask why you’re here. What I don’t know I can’t tell. But get inside ‘er cottage as soon as ye can, before you’re seen by people who aren’t as friendly as me. Strangers, especially ones carryin’ suitcases are suspicious to folks around ‘ere, even kids as young as ye lot. Now get off with ye.’

He walked off and disappeared up an alley and after a look at each other we carried on. We were soon on the road he called The Warren. The houses and cottages were all in dark and there were no street lights, so it was a bit difficult to make out colours. To our right, was the harbour with the boats all bobbing about on the water.

It was a fine night and the moon suddenly had come out from behind some clouds, allowing us to see things a bit more clearly. I vaguely remembered the time when I had last visited, it seemed a lifetime ago. It was a pretty place then and I could tell that it was still lovely, with its quaint cottages dotted around the quay and up the steep hills.

We passed several cottages and a chandlers and then we were level with the harbour wall. I looked up and there it was, my Nan’s cottage. I remembered it after all and it hadn’t changed much, if at all. The cottage was up several steps. It was painted sky blue and had the same knocker on the front door.

There was a chink of light coming from the front room. My heart was in my mouth, wondering at what sort of reaction I would get dressed as I was, a girl and having several other girls in tow with me. She might just laugh at me and tell me to go away. I hated the idea of rejection. We had come so far and if it was all for nothing, I didn’t know what we would do.

‘Stay here,’ I said, ‘I’ll speak Nan first and then if everything is okay, I’ll call you. If anyone comes along, hide in the alley. Better still, go into that alley, just in case, and if everything goes well, then I’ll come and get you.’

My voice sound stronger than I felt and I was hiding my true feelings, which was of fear, fear of rejection.’

The others said nothing but it was nice that they all gave me hugs, even Alison! Then they all went around the corner leaving me to do what I had to do.

Picking up my suitcases and bag, I climbed the stone steps. Putting down my suitcase, with a trembling hand, I knocked on the door. The sound seemed quite loud and I jumped slightly as noise of the knocker seemed to echo around me. Looking around, it seemed that no one was twitching their curtains or coming out onto the street to see who was making such a racket at that time of night.

A few seconds later, I heard the sound of steps and then the door opened and I was looking down the barrel of a shotgun!

Behind the shotgun was my Nan. She looked a bit older and maybe a bit smaller than when I last saw her. Perhaps it was me, I must have grown a quite a bit since I last saw her.

‘Who are you and what do you want?’

‘H...h...hello Nan.’

She squinted at me and then whispered, ‘is that you, Sally?’

I nearly cried. She thought that I was Sally!

I shook my head and just whispered ‘John.’

‘What’s that, speak up?’

I took a deep breath and then ignoring the gun barrel, I said in a slightly stronger voice, ‘I’m John.’

She looked at me with a puzzled expression and then just said, ‘you had best come in.’

I could tell that she didn’t believe me but was sufficiently curious enough to let me into her cottage. I probably didn’t seem to pose that much of a threat to her.

From memory, the cottage hadn’t changed much, if at all. I followed her into the sitting room and she motioned me to sit down on the sofa while she sat opposite me in the fireside chair, the gun down beside her. The fire was cheerful and warmed the room nicely but I was more interested in what my Nan would say or do. I wondered once again if I was going to be laughed at or worse rejected.

Nan looked at me with a piercing gaze that made me feel like she was burrowing into my very soul.

‘John is it?’

‘Yes Nan.’

‘What’s you mums name?’

‘Betty.’

And your Dad’s?’

‘John, like me...I mean like I was John, I’m now C...Carol.’

‘Carol is it; where do you live?’

‘Ashmore Road in West Kilburn.’

‘What number?’

‘244.’

She looked at me even more closely, if that was possible.

‘Stand up and come over here.’

She stayed sitting down as I walked up to her.

I jumped slightly as she lifted up my skirt a little and peered at my bare knees. I then heard a sharp intake of breath. Standing up, she looked into my face.

‘How did you get that scar on your knee?’

‘I...I did it when I fell off my tricycle outside here, it bled lots and I cried and you made it better for me.’

Tears started trickling down my face as I remembered. It was the last day of our visit and the last time that I had been on holiday with Mum, and Sally.

I couldn’t take any more. I just collapsed in a heap on the fireside rug and holding my head in my hands, I cried my eyes out.

Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted up and I was in the arms of my Nan. In no time, it all spilled out.

‘Oh Nan, Mum and Sally are dead,’ I sobbed, ‘they were killed by a bomb, I was all alone and then I...’

With a halting voice, I explained as quickly as possible what had happened and how I found my new friends. After I finished explaining, I was drained. We both cried at our loss but finally, Nan took in what I said about my friends.

‘Where are your friends, honey?’

‘Outside, in the alley.’

‘What, they shouldn’t be out there. Go and get them and be careful, there are people about who I don’t trust as far as I could throw them.’

The fact that I had several girls outside didn’t seem to concern my Nan; she would be calm if the world was ending! She hadn’t even asked me why I was dressed as a girl, but seemed to accept me as I was. Explanations for that would have to wait. I wasn’t looking forward to telling her the reasons why I was now effectively a girl, but I hoped that she would still love me after I explained myself.

I opened the front door and peered out. It was still quiet outside, so I hurried down the steps and then gestured for everyone to follow me.

In seconds we were all inside and the front door was firmly shut and bolted against the outside world. The sitting room was looking a bit full now, what with all of us girls, complete with cases and bags, but Nan didn’t bat an eyelid and she started barking out orders like she was a Sergeant Major. She had been a school teacher before the war and it showed.

‘Right, explanations and introductions later. I can see that you all look worn out and a bit grubby. Starting with the youngest, go upstairs and have a bath and get changed into night things if you have some. I have two bedrooms spare up there to the left so decide amongst yourselves which bedroom you want to use; blankets in the cupboards.

‘Put about three inches of hot water in the bath to ensure that there’s enough to go round. Right hop to it; cocoa in thirty minutes! And keep the noise down; I don’t want any big ears hearing you lot.’

The others looked shell shocked, but I just grinned and went up and they all followed like lambs to the slaughter. Nan was a life force that was hard to resist. Mum always said that she was a strong character who could quell a schoolroom full of unruly kids with just a withering look and a snap of her fingers and I could see what she meant!

It actually took about forty minutes for us all to get finished bathing and into our nightdresses /pyjamas. Unlike when I was at home, Nan actually had an indoor bath heated by the fire; what luxury!

Soon we were all sitting by the fire as Nan passed around cups of steaming cocoa and Peek Frean chocolate digestive biscuits; scrumptious!

It took some time to tell our stories. Helen got upset and said that he was really Albert and he hated being dressed as a girl, but knew that if he was caught as a boy he would have been taken away and would have been in more danger than he was now, so he would just have to get on with it. Nan thought that he or rather she was very brave and his parents would be proud of him/her.

Nan looked over at me to see if I wanted to explain myself but I didn’t want to say too much in front of the others and I think that we had an unspoken agreement to talk later when we were alone.

‘So,’ said Ethel, ‘we have been a bit out of touch with things, what’s it like here. We haven’t seen much signs of the enemy around here, only near the railway line.’

We had already explained what happened on the train and it had made Nan smile. She looked so much younger when she smiled!

‘Well, I don’t know what you do know about things, so I will just give you an update as to what’s been happening lately.’

‘We heard on the radio just after we surrendered what had happened to the government and the bombs up north.’

‘Yes,’ said Nan sadly, ‘many thousands have died as far as we know. Not much information is coming out of those areas that were atom bombed. It was bad enough to make the authorities, those that were left that is, to concede defeat and give in. We had hoped to get support from America, they had helped a bit with supplies, but they didn’t want to get too involved. They haven’t got over the stock market crash of ’29 and the depression after that. When President Roosevelt died last year, the new president, John Nance Garner said that he would not drag his country into a war. I don’t know that I can blame them as they have many problems themselves and are close to bankruptcy. Anyway, we were left to fend for ourselves and we just didn’t have enough men and firepower to defeat the Germans.

‘We thought that things would get better when Hitler, Goering and Ribbentrop were assassinated in a bomb explosion by disaffected generals three weeks ago, but Himmler took over and if anything, things got worse. He is a butcher and seems to like extreme violence against people who do not fit in with his warped ideological beliefs.’

I looked at the others, we didn’t know much about politics, but we did know all about Hitler and his henchmen. This was all news to us though. Things were worse than I thought, if that was possible.

‘Anyway, enough of that; Following Himmler’s takeover he and his group of Nazi thugs decided to throw everything at us, increasing the bombing of major cities to a level never seen before and when our prime minister and most of the cabinet were killed in Downing Street, it was the beginning of the end and just a matter of time. We had been brought to our knees and we finally surrendered after Aberdeen and Newcastle were bombed to extinction. Evidently, we had no idea that Germany was so advanced in developing atomic bombs, which are the most terrible weapons imaginable and can lay whole countries to waste. Anyway, that’s is the position as far as I know. We get the occasional broadcast form the Underground BBC and someone is always monitoring broadcasts, but the news is far from regular. ’

‘Are the Germans here Nan?’ I asked, voicing the question all of us wanted to know.

‘There are a few around, but the good thing is that they are stretched thinly and being so far away from the centre of things means that we are not considered strategically important for them to post any more than a token presence at the moment. That could change and we expect an increase in numbers once they get their resources together. ’

‘What about the resistance?’ asked Glad.

‘We had a village meeting as soon as we heard how things were going. Reports were coming on the underground BBC radio that men and boys were being picked up and handed over to the military. This was reflected in other countries. As the Germans took control of countries that they overran, they enlisted, if that’s the word, all able bodied men and boys to supplement the army navy and air force. Germany has invaded so many countries; they just don’t have the man power to police everywhere, so they are using each country’s manpower to pick up the slack. In London and much of the south east they have started to do the same with able bodied women and girls, so it’s a good thing that you got away when you did.

‘There are pockets of resistance everywhere but no coordinated effort as far as we know. As far as our forces are concerned, we do know that some of the Atlantic Fleet managed to get away, ignoring direct orders to surrender, but what we don’t know is where they went but it was assumed that they went to neutral Norway and are hiding in some of the Fiords to the north. If they are there, we don’t know how long Norway will allow them safe haven, but there are so many rumours; we don’t know the facts from the fiction. What we do know is that most of our fleet had already been sunk by U-boats, so there’s no knowing what numbers we are talking about.’

‘And the resistance here?’ asked Ethel getting back to local matters.

‘The village meeting agreed that it was necessary that all men and boys over the age of eleven should go up into the moors and hide away in some of the tin mines. We supplied them with as much food and other things that they might need and also gave them some shotguns, clearing out the local gunsmiths in the process. The men weren’t happy about it, but saw sense once their wives, mothers and girlfriends told them to do as they were told!’

She smiled at that. I would have liked to have been at that meeting!

‘Anyway, they are now the local resistance and it wouldn’t surprise me if they arranged that little explosion on the railway line! Anyway, you all look very tired, so off to bed with you. We’ll speak more in the morning. Keep away from the windows and keep the curtains drawn. I’ll explain more about how things are in Polperro tomorrow.’

There wasn’t much in the way of argument and everyone got up and trouped out, saying goodnight to Nan on the way. I hung back and Nan smiled at me reassuringly as the others went upstairs, leaving us alone to talk.

I went over and sat by her on the big soft, comfy sofa.

Now the others had left, Nan and I could talk about what was most on our minds.

‘I so Miss Mum and Sally.’ I said, sniffing.

‘I know honey, I’m finding it hard to believe. It’s so much to take in...’

Nan’s brave face slipped as she gave in to her emotions.

We hugged as we cried once more, thinking about the loved ones that we had lost. Eventually we pulled ourselves together and Nan looked at me.

‘I think that you aren’t dressed as a girl to hide the fact that you are a boy?’

I looked at her and I could feel my face go red.

‘H...h...how did you know?’

‘Your mum and I always wondered why you were so much unlike other boys we knew. You never acted like a boy and were always so kind and gentle. You loved your sister and played with her like you were a girl yourself. Are you a girl or boy?’

Straight to the point, that was my Nan for you.

‘Girl,’ I whispered as I looked down and plucked at the hem of my nightdress. I didn’t want to see her expression just in case she was horrified at what I had just said.

She put her finger under my chin and lifted my face.

‘Well, it seems that I have a granddaughter instead of a grandson. We have both lost so much but it’s nice that we have each other. Things might be hard for a while, but together we’ll make it through and if that means that I have to be sort of a Mum to those girls upstairs, all the better. I approve of big families, don’t you?’

To be continued..?

Painting: The Spirit of London During the Blitz by Nettie Moon, 1979

Please leave comments and let me know if you want this to continue. Oh, and if you can, please do the kudo-thingie...thanks! ~Sue