Louisa continued her rehab with renewed vigour now that she’d got the news of her transition off her chest. After a gap of almost three weeks, another shopping trip was organised. This time, she managed to buy some clothes and even go for a Coffee on her own. It almost ended up the same way as the first. She was drinking her coffee when a man started to chat her up. It was only the intervention of Toyah that prevented a disaster.

Toyah had seen what was about to happen and, as the man began his second chat-up line, she came and sat next to Louisa. Then totally out of character for her, she embraced Louisa and kissed her. The man took the hint and left them alone.

“Sorry,” said Toyah.

“Thanks, and there is no need to be sorry. I think I need to start wearing a wedding ring.”

Toyah laughed.

“That might keep them away but darling! You are pretty hot. I saw the mental undressing that pretty well all the men in here did to you as you walked in.”

“I felt unclean.”

"Think of it as a compliment. Most of them would not say no to hopping into bed with you. Luckily, the majority of them are far too timid to even pass the time of day with you. The ones to watch out for are the chancers. That guy was one of those."

“But how should I deal with them?”

"Sitting here with a hot drink in your hand, it seems so easy. Tell them in no uncertain terms, that you are not interested. If they persist, then simply pour the lot over them. You know where I mean. Do the deed and walk out. If they raise a stink, then we’ll all be behind you. You aren’t into men. Your history will keep you safe.”

Toyah laughed.

“It does not always work though.”

“How so?” asked Louisa.

“I did that and ended up marrying him.”

"But… I thought that as you were Jewish, your marriage had been arranged. by your families?"

“I have not always been Jewish. Some of the more traditional families still won't accept me. It is the female line that shows how Jewish you are. I have a little bit of verifiably Jewish blood in me which, was good enough for my husband’s family.”

“Speaking of that… how are you going to explain the kiss?”

Toyah laughed.

“He’ll understand. He is a man after all and he knows the situation that you are in and that you are learning the ways of womanhood. Just don’t broadcast it to the others. I’ll have a word with Shireen.”

“You like her, don’t you?”

"I do and, she is a lovely kind woman. Most Muslims are like that. The hardliners in almost every religion and especially ours like to emphasise the differences rather than what we have in common."

“But the situation in Israel?”

"Is a different universe. My family hate what is going on there in the name of our faith. The local Imams at the Mosques near our Synagogue know this and, we get along fine but, it only goes so far."

Then she changed the subject.

“What’s next?”

“Buying some shoes. Thankfully, I don’t have large feet. Well a little on the large size for a woman but I think I will manage.”

“What if the assistant is a man and tries it on with you?”

Louisa smiled.
“Then my knee and his jaw will have a meeting.”

Toyah got up from the table and after another brief kiss, she whispered,
“That was for effect. Two men at the back have been glaring at us for several minutes.”

Louisa returned the kiss.
“Thanks,” she whispered.

Then they walked out of the café holding hands.

---

After the success of the shopping trip, the team decided that Louisa should have a ‘grand day out’. That day out was to go with most of them to Ladies Day at Royal Ascot. The prospect of going to such a prestigious place terrified Louisa, but the ‘team’ would not take no for an answer.

"But, darling, we will all be with you. Strength in numbers and all that."

Louisa found herself being taken to shop after shop in search of the perfect outfit for the day. As it was Royal Ascot, she also had to wear a hat. This was something very new to Louisa. Even as Louis, he'd only worn something on his head twice in his life. The first was a rented Mortar Board for his graduation. The second was when he'd mistakenly agreed to go bungee jumping. This time, the 'team' had a great time choosing her outfit. In the end, Louisa's plea for modesty won out, and she ended up in a floaty dress that didn't reveal too much of anything.

The trip to Ascot went fine despite Louisa being sure that she’d be exposed as a fake woman. It did give her more confidence to go out on her own at least as alone as having one watcher keeping an eye on her.

---

With Royal Ascot and Wimbledon over for another year, August was approaching fast, and many of the team were going to be jetting off for at least two weeks, if not longer.

“Come with us,” said Janice as they all took part in a regular video meeting.
“We are going down to the Riveria. Hubby is shooting a film in Provence.”

The thought of having to wear a swimsuit horrified Louisa.

“I can’t. Besides, I don’t have a passport.”

“Poppycock. You can get one in a few days if you want one.”

Louisa shook her head.

“I’m going nowhere yet. I want to feel comfortable in myself and being just another woman and not someone to be stared at and photographed. I am most certainly not ready for the Louisa ‘Swimsuit expose Issue’. Some of the team knew what Louisa meant. Once it had been explained, there was a general acceptance that Louisa was going nowhere this year.

Then she took a deep breath.
“I think I need to be on my own for a while. Not in London but somewhere quiet.”

“Like a Holiday Let?” asked Mary-Lou.

“Just like that but nowhere near a beach. A place where I can relax and try to be my new self.”

There was a good deal of laughter, but after a lot of discussion, it was agreed, that Louisa needed to start living on her own, even if it was just for a month.

Before she knew it a cottage, had been rented for her. It was just outside the town of Ludlow in Shropshire. Helen Sanderson volunteered to take Louisa there and let her borrow her car. Louisa and Louis before him had never owned a car, having almost always lived in central London. Louis had a driving license and had used one of the company cars when the need arose but that was it.

Louisa had objected at first, but when Helen had explained to her that she was not going to be far away and that the insurance for the car was already taken care of, she agreed to the plan.

---

“This looks very nice,” said Helen as she inspected the property that was located on the edge of a small hamlet near Ludlow.

“Seems so,” replied a slightly disinterested Louisa.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"I was just wondering if 'this is it ' for me?"

Helen took a few seconds to realise what she’d meant by that statement.

"Nonsense, darling. We will be here for you."

"You say that now but haven't you realised that some of the team are not so enthusiastic about helping in recent weeks? It is as if I am not interesting enough now.”

“Rubbish. I think that people just have the holiday bug. For many of us, this is our once chance to get out of London for some R&R just like what you are doing.”

“I’m not so sure. Take Beverly, for instance. Her Facebook page shows that she'd not doing a lot at the moment, but when it comes to helping me, she's suddenly as busy as hell."

"Don't let that worry you. Let's wait until September, eh? Then we shall see who is here for the long haul."

“I suppose so.”
Louisa’s reply wasn’t that enthusiastic. Helen recognised the trauma that Louisa was going through. Her only friends were the women who she’d escorted.

“You have enough food for a few days,” said Helen changing the subject.
“Tuesday is Market Day in town. Why don’t you go and see what takes your fancy?”

“Maybe.”

Helen looked at her watch.
"I have to be going now. You have my number. I'm in Hereford all weekend with my mother, so if you need me just give me a call."

Louisa managed to force a smile onto her face.
“Stop fussing… Please.”

---

The month seemed to go by in a flash for Louisa. For the first time since her ‘event’, she was alone. She busied herself by going into town most days. She went as far as Malvern on a couple of occasions. No one shouted out, 'look at that fake woman' so her confidence grew and grew.

She experimented with new looks thanks to the charity shops in the town. Some were total failures, but slowly, she developed her very own style. Louis had always had a good eye for what looked good on the women who he'd escorted. After a few failures, she realised she'd not lost the knack. This gave her a lot more confidence when going out and dealing with the people she met in daily life.

Louisa still had problems when in close company with men, but it was getting better as time went by.

Helen came to collect Louisa at the end of the month, she encountered a very different Louisa from the one she left behind.
“What happened?” asked Helen.

Louisa smiled.
“I think I sort of grew up. I came of age as a woman. Well… not quite but more like a teenager. There is so much to learn but I’m getting there.”

“Where next?”

For a moment, Louisa thought that Helen had meant where they were going that day.

“I think I need to get a place of my own.”

“But you have a place.”

“That was Louis’s place.”

Helen got it in a flash.

She grinned,
“Everyone will be happy to hear this.”

“And be glad to see the back of me?”

Helen laughed.

"Quite the opposite. I know for a fact that you are part of the group. For life."

“Really?”

"Wait and see, ok?"

“Helen! Please!”

Helen smiled.
"I know nothing officially but, there has what the spooks say, some chatter amongst those in foreign climes about doing something when they return from abroad.”

Before Louisa could answer, Helen said,
"It is time for us to go. Otherwise, the agent will think that you are staying for another month."

---

The news that Louisa wanted to find a place of her own, spread through the group like wildfire. Things started to move in the background. Louisa’s old home was soon, emptied, cleaned and put on the market. The women in his life had all sorts of contacts, and after a few phone calls, it was all in hand.

Louisa had sort of expected this. She was fully expecting that one by one, those women would find another plaything or interest, to occupy them. What she didn't realise was that the men behind those women were also keeping themselves informed. They'd all understood from the beginning that by employing Louis to escort their wives and partners, they'd exposed him to a certain level of danger and that they felt partially responsible for what happened to Louis. As a result, at least two of them issued ultimatums to their wives about not dropping Louisa as a friend now that she was on the way to recovery. Several didn’t need that hint but knowing that the men in their lives were very much behind them in what they were doing made them feel a lot better.

Instead of dropping their contacts with Louisa, they all got together and started to plan how they could help their friend find not only a place to live, but also to get some purpose in her life. At the start of the meeting, Toyah reminded them all that this was for the long term. They all owed Louis and now Louisa a lot. Least of all was how they'd all become friends.

It was Helen who had said,
“The biggest stumbling block will be Louisa herself. Remember that she is used to being in charge and doing things for herself. She was the one who got us into the best Restaurants and the best tickets for Shows, the Opera and the like. We have to be very, very subtle in how we get Louisa to play ball.”

None of the others disagreed with that statement. It was going to be a big challenge.

"Now that Louis's place is up for sale, we need to find out where Louisa wants to live," said Shireen.

“And what she wants to do with her life. She isn’t rich like us,” said Toyah.

That hit home hard to a few of them. Louis had been little more than the 'hired help' at the start. Because of his pleasant nature, the ability to keep his mouth shut, and his steadfast refusal to get involved with any of them he'd gained a lot of their confidence, but she wasn't, as Toyah said in a slightly different set of words, 'really one of them'.

Helen and a few others had married into money, so they knew what Toyah meant.

“She’s good at selling houses,” said Helen when they were toying with what sort of career Louisa might follow.

“But far too well known in London,” countered Shireen.
“I get the feeling that she wants to remain as invisible as possible.”

"If she was interested in a man, then I know someone who would jump at the chance of marrying her," said Mary-Sue.

“Even with her… plumbing?” said Dawn.

"Yes. He's, got four kids. The last thing he needs is more brats. Those are his own words, not mine."

There was a bit of laughter.

“What does Louisa say about what she wants to do or where she wants to live?” said Janice.

There was silence in the room.

"Don't you think that she should at least get a say in all this? We can't all be mothers of the bride organising the wedding from hell now, can we eh?" she added.

After that, they resolved to try to wheedle out of Louisa what it is that she wanted to do with her life.

---

Louisa was struggling with the same problem herself. She'd only ever worked as an Estate Agent. She'd gotten into it after graduating with a degree in Architecture but hadn’t wanted to spend even more years qualifying for RIBA [1] membership. Her one-bed flat near Putney Bridge would easily sell and then she'd have some capital behind her but where to go and what to do were questions that she had no answers for. The one thing that she was certain of was that she did not want to keep on relying on the hospitality of her friends for much longer.

Helen came to visit one day with an idea.

“Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“Where exactly would I do that? I’ve never lived in the country.”

“Where are you now then?”

“Ok. I’m in the country but I’ve never been on anything but a Donkey at our School Fete.”

“Good. Then there is no time like the present to learn is there?”

Louisa knew the look that Helen had on her face. She was not going to accept no for an answer.

With a sigh and a shrug of the shoulders, Louisa agreed.

---

It turned out that Helen had not ridden since she was a teenage girl. She’d given it all up when becoming a doctor became more important to her than playing with ponies. Her family still had contacts at a Stables about 10 miles from where Louisa was staying.

Louisa’s first encounter with a horse was not brilliant. The normally pretty docile animal named George tried to throw her after less than five minutes on her back. Helen saw why and laughed.

“Louisa, relax. You were hanging on for dear life. Let the horse take the strain.”

Her words proved to be perfectly correct. Once she’d relaxed and had stopped pulling the poor beast one way and then the other, peace was resumed and the remainder of the ride progressed smoothly.

Louisa started to enjoy herself before the pain in her posterior took over.

“I’ll never be able to walk again,” she complained when they were back at the Yard and had dismounted.

Helen laughed.

“I’ll be sore a bit as well. You’ll get used to it. All it needs is time and practice.”

“And a load of money? This riding business is expensive.”

Helen smiled and took Louisa’s hand.

"Look over there. What do you see?" she asked pointing at a small building near the stable block.

“It looks like a small cottage.”

“It is. It can be yours if you want it. They have an opening for a Business Manager. The cottage has two bedrooms and comes with the job. What do you say?”

Louisa was stunned.
"You can get all the riding practice you want then. All the girls are in on this and everyone apart from Shireen is a keen rider. You can bet that they will all be booking rides here pretty frequently.”

Louisa sat down on a bench and tried to get to grips with what Helen was saying.

“I guess I should have seen this coming?”

“Seen what coming?”

“People wanting to see the back of me?”

“Didn’t you hear a word that I just said? The girls will all want to come here for rides. Don’t you want a chance to get on your feet again?”

“But, I know nothing about running a place like this. Nothing at all.”

"Nonsense. You have a good business head on you so why not give it a chance? It is not as if you will be expected to muck out the stables. You will be the boss of the day-to-day operations of this and the other three stables that are in the group.”

“I don’t know.”

"Why don't you think about it? There is no need to make a decision today.”

“Gee thanks!”

Helen laughed.
“You do know that we all think the world of you, and we all mean that. All of us want you to get on your feet again. You really don’t know how much you were appreciated by us all for being our escort and nothing more. We were able to hold our heads up rather than sulking about hoping that no one would see us with a man that wasn’t our husband.”

“That’s ancient history now. I know that I need to do something with my life but I don’t know what to do. I’m hardly qualified for anything other than selling houses.”

“I’m just asking you to think things over ok?”

Louisa knew that she was right.

“Sorry Helen, you are right. I’ll think things over.”

---

Thinking things over and especially about what she should do next was not something she'd done before. As she thought back, it wasn't something that Louis had ever done before. He'd just seemed to fall into things, land on his feet and run from there. There wasn't a 'grand plan' for his life. Even starting to become an escort in the way it did, happened by accident.

Now, she was faced with a choice and she just didn't have a clue about what to do. The women in her life tried their hardest to help but she was resolute about one thing and that was that it had to be her decision and hers alone. If she was going to fall flat on her face then it would be her fault and no one else's.

Gradually, it dawned upon Louisa that Helen’s offer had given her a chance to build a life. If the job didn’t work out, she would have time to find something else. The cottage that came with the job would provide her with a base to build that life. There would be money in her bank from the sale of her London Flat that would be more than enough to put down as a deposit on a house or apartment in the future.

Then she understood that there were still a few legal hurdles to get over before that could happen. One of the biggest was ensuring that her credit history was carried over would be one of them along with her bank account and all manner of other details that needed to get changed before she would be ready to take her place in society. What that place was, was another matter entirely. So far, she’d been pretty anonymous but that was all going to change should she take this job or any job for that matter.

After two more trips to the Stables with Helen and even more aches and pains from riding, she was ready to tell her world about her decision.

---

“Some of you will know already that Helen has been a busy little bee,” said Louisa to everyone. For once, all the women were present in person and looking wonderful.

“She took me riding. I ached for days afterwards but she has found a way for me to start my life as a woman and not have to rely on the wonderful generosity of you all not that it isn’t appreciated, it is. It is time for me to either sink or swim, out in the big bad world as a woman. I know that thanks to all your efforts, I will be far better equipped to climb onto the back of this horse on my own than if you had not been there for me in my time of need."

Her feeble attempt at a joke did manage to get a few titters.

“I’m only going to be a few miles from here so if any of you fancy a spin on the back of a horse, Helen will be able to direct you to my humble abode. It isn’t much by the standards that you all are used to but I have to start somewhere, and this position allows me to dip my toe in the waters of being a woman in society.”

Louisa took a deep breath.

"I owe every one of you a great debt. The same goes for your partners, husbands and lovers. Without their trust in Louis, he would not have met such a diverse bunch of women that you all are. Thanks to that trust and your belief in me, I am about as ready as I’ll ever be to move on with my life.”

Louisa sat down and wiped a tear from her eyes. It soon became apparent that she’d forgotten to use waterproof mascara that morning. Dawn took her aside to repair the damage before returning her to the room where the rest of the ‘team Louisa’ were assembled.

They all wished Louisa the best in her new venture. Louisa felt that for a few, this was them saying goodbye. She knew that Helen would be visiting regularly but, how many of the others would venture out of London to see her and take one of the horses for a ride? She knew that only time would tell on that.

---

[Three Months Later]

Louisa was in one of the stables seeing to one of the horses. The owner was not a not very horsey woman and just wanted to turn up, get on the back of the beast, go for a ride and then let others look after the animal while she exited stage left at a great rate of knots. All the stable staff knew that she had a ‘toy-boy’ lover stashed in a cottage a few miles away but going for a ride set up her alibi perfectly. It was this horse that Louisa was brushing down after her owner had left.

The animal’s coat was wet through. The rain had not stopped all day. Drying her off and seeing that she was fed and watered was a part of the job that Louisa had not expected to do when Helen offered her the job but the two stable hands were away at College that day so it was down to her to man the fort.

She was just finishing grooming the horse when she heard a vehicle come over the metal bridge that crossed a stream adjacent to the stables. It was already 4 pm and, there were no more rides scheduled for the day. Helen had been for her weekly ride the previous day, so she had no idea who would be calling at this time of day.

Louisa was surprised to see Shireen get out of a Fiat 500. She’d only ever seen her in her husband’s Mercedes.

"Hello, Shireen, come into the office. This rain is horrible."

"Thanks, Louisa."

“Take a seat. I’ll put the kettle on.”

"You are a star, Louisa."

"Hardly, but thanks all the same."

Louisa filled the kettle and plugged it in.

"This is a pleasant surprise, Shireen. You haven't been here before, have you?"

“No. I called Dawn and, she gave me directions.”

Shireen didn't want to look directly at Louisa.

“What’s wrong?”

"It is my Husband, Riaz."

"Oh yes, I remember him. His business was making clothes, was it not?"

"Yes, he was."

"Was? What happened, Shireen?"

“He went back to Pakistan on business and… and he was dead found in bed. They are saying that it was a heart attack.”

Louisa swore.
“Sorry about that. The swearing.”

“That’s all right Louisa. I understand.”

“What happened?”

“This was in his home town. That is in the tribal lands in the north of the country. This all happened last week. I only found out when his brother arrived here this morning.”

She looked down at her feet.
“His brother is a nasty man. He went off on a rant when he saw me outside without even a Hijab on. He is assuming that I am going to marry him as is the custom in his family.”

Shireen visibly shivered.
“The thing is that Riaz and I are or were both gay. We married… our marriage was in name only. We did it to save a little face for our families. We were both supposed to have arranged marriages but we could not do that so we married each other. Then we could live our lives as we felt we should but very, very discreetly. I can't marry the man. I don't speak Urdu beyond a few words and he wants me to go and live in Pakistan while he runs the business from here."

Louisa was stunned by this news. Then she realised that a few things that Shireen had said to Louis and then to Louisa started to make sense.
“You were a couple just to hide that from your families?”

Shireen nodded.

“What did your Husband’s Brother say?”

"It's is not what he said but what he wants. In their world, the family has to look after people like me. That means marrying him and having his children. He will take over the business or that's what he thinks is going to happen."

“But you don’t want it to happen?”

“Not if I can help it. He’s already trying to get me to sign over the company bank accounts. That’s when I fled. My brother-in-law had the keys to the Merc so I took my car and after speaking with Dawn, here I am."

Louisa got up and went over to Shireen and hugged her.

“You are welcome to stay here.”

“Thanks. That’s what Dawn said that you would say.”

Louise looked up at the clock on the wall.

“I think it is time to shut up shop. Why don’t you get any things you have in the car and head upstairs? I’ll check on the horses and join you in a few minutes.”

“Thanks.”

“No more thanks. You have not tasted my cooking yet!”

[to be continued]
[1] RIBA : Royal Institute of British Architects.