Chapter 21 — Sweet Dreams and Nightmares

The sun beat down onto the town square casting a glare up from the stone surface polished to almost a mirror finish by the thousands of feet that traversed it daily. Sarah took shelter in the shade provided by a wizened old tree.
She couldn’t begin to wonder where she had gone wrong. Was her mother right? Was she even HER mother? Sarah kicked a dusty pebble away from the base of the tree and sighed. What if everyone was right? She had been born a boy, maybe that was right? What if she was just confused? She had heard the view many times, and her mother’s reaction couldn’t have been more certain.

She knew she was a girl, it was almost certain in her mind. As certain as she needed air, and the wind that blew down from the heights. It was her soul, she felt it. But surely the mad felt as certain as this? The old man down the road from her parents house, that had gone around professing his ability to talk to animals... had he felt as certain of this? That everyone was mad for not believing him?
God, she wished she knew. The uncertainty hurt her more than anything.

“You know, you can’t stay here for the rest of the weekend little one.” Eli called softly from behind. Sarah started suddenly, feeling guilty she had allowed her guard to fall so far.

“Maybe I want to.” She replied quietly, turning to face her sister.

Eliana looked worried. “Ima didn’t mean it Sarah.” She whispered clasping her sisters hand in hers. “Please come back, she’s worried about you... Upset that she hurt you.”

Sarah frowned. “She called me a boy Eli, she pretended to understand.... I... I can’t...” she whispered softly, a tear rolling down her cheek...

Eliana pulled her sister to her as she cried. “Don’t worry baby, you come home with me, I’ll not let them hurt you.” She soothed stroking Sarah’s hair.

Sarah found herself in the driveway of her parents house once more, feeling as apprehensive as the last time. “Cant you just get my stuff and take me back to the station?” she asked quietly, more of herself than Eliana.

“No baby.” She whispered gripping her sister’s slightly shaking hand. “Come on, I’ll look after you, I promise.”

For the second time in as many days, Sarah stood before the door to her house: The chime of the doorbell struck like a knife into her beating heart.

The door opened and Sarah came face to face with her mother once more. “Sarah?” she asked quietly, almost fearfully.

Sarah looked into her eyes. Her mother looked drawn, and tired, weak, she had been crying. “Ima.” Sarah replied quietly looking anywhere but at her mother.

“I’m sorry chid, she murmured cautiously.” Reaching out to touch her daughter’s cheek. “I was wrong.” She whispered, lifting Sarah’s chin. “I couldn’t see you... For my love of you... ah, for him, my son; I could not see you my darling.” She sobbed. “I, I... Please forgive me,” she asked quietly looking into Sarah’s eyes.

The jolt struck Sarah deep within her core; love; a love she had not felt in years. Her mother truly cared for HER. In that one moment, things became so firm, so sure... Sarah knew who she was right then. Smiling through her tears, she hugged her mother.

“I... When I left this morning, I thought you hated me, I thought you believed I was a boy still... that you had lied to me last night. It... It just terrified me, it was rash I’m sorry.

“I got confused.” She admitted. “I was still thinking of you as my boy... my baby boy that had grown up with Ari Weismann as a friend... Not as my daughter who had fallen for charming young man.” Their mother replied.

“I think we ought to start fresh, Sarah’s past won't ever go away, but we do need to let go of David... He was a good brother, and a good Son.” Eliana began. “But in his stead, we have Sarah, a new sister for me, and a new child for you Ima. It’s time we got to know her.” She beamed, hugging her sister.

The next morning , Sarah walked with her sister to the station in town. It felt strangely normal. Taking a cigarette from her bag, she slipped it between her lips and fished for her lighter: Finding it, she lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. As the nicotine rushed to her head, she felt strangely aware that morning. A veil had been lifted from her eyes, the world seemed more colourful.
There was no pretence anymore, no lies, no deception. The people she loved most in the world knew about her, they knew their daughter. And she was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time.

Entering the building, she scanned the board for her train, and the pair made their way up onto the platform.

“I’m going to miss you.” Eli smiled, squeezing her sister’s hand.

Sarah hugged her sister. “Me too...” She began feeling her body tense up. Behind her sister several men were walking, they seemed out of place, and entirely focused on them. Her impromptu hug had caught them off guard and they had not been able to blend into the surroundings in time.

The Four were of Arabic origin, and their drab clothing and rucksacks looked entirely out of place on an early Monday morning. Pretending she hadn’t seen the men, Sarah broke off the hug and took her sister’s hand pulling her onwards.

“What?” Eliana asked twisting her head around the way they had come “What’s wrong?” she asked innocently.

“Nothing, come with me, please.” Sarah urged quietly, hoping the men had not noticed anything.

“What is it Sarah?” Eli asked again, beginning to look worried catching the determined expression on her sister’s face.

“Look, don’t react Eli ok? There are some men following us ... following me ... I think ...”

Eli looked curiously at her sister. “Why would there be men following you?”

“I...” Sarah began, wondering how much she should tell her sister, or if it was even relevant. “Some people don’t like me, its a work thing...” Sarah sighed dragging her sister around a concession stand on the platform towards a departures board.

Looking up, Sarah pretended to search the trains on the computer screen, she watched the reflection of the platform behind her.

The four men were not alone, and were clearly watching her. Sarah’s heart began to beat faster. A switch in her flipped into combat mode. She was unarmed, accompanied by her sister, and outnumbered. The numbers didn’t look good. Her only hope was to run, fast, and get her sister out.

Sarah checked her watch, the train was due in moments, and the men hadn’t made a move yet, she had to assume they were waiting for her to board.

Sarah’s pace quickened as the train pulled in, this was where her hopes hinged. Eliana had been quiet and Sarah gripped her sister’s hand tight. “Come on, I’m not leaving you here.” She whispered.

“I don’t have a ticket.” Mumbled Eliana weakly. Sarah looked at her sister; the vivacious girl was pale and subdued. She had never seen her sister look like that.

“I don’t think that matters, honey.” Sarah muttered half to herself, squeezing her sister’s hand tightly.

The train rolled into the station and came to a halt. In the bustle of boarding and alighting passengers, Sarah pulled her sister with her into the nearest coach. In the sea of human waves, 8 men boarded the 10.25 to Beersheba. All for business, none for pleasure.

Note from author: Sorry guys, Its been a while, and i know that, But i lost my computer, and ive only just got a new one, Consider this a late christmas present, I hope you all like it, Lots more Haifa to come soon, and for a long time!
Alyssa