Chapter 14 — Arrows Of Fire
by Alyssa Plant
Coughing, Sarah rolled off David and lay on her back panting. “I was going to say… I saw a bomb.”
”Ugh, No shit.” groaned Zeis.
Looking over at her team-mate, Sarah burst out laughing. “Hey, did the earth move for you too, baby?”
Chapter 14 — Arrows Of Fire
Sarah blushed so deeply she could swear she felt steam pouring out of her ears.
“I ah, sorry,” She mumbled as she cut the Sergeant’s restraints.
The sergeant just looked at her with his favourite blank, unreadable expression, then grinned broadly. “Ah don’t worry. I was young once, believe it or not.”
As the three set about freeing the others, the troopers collected weapons from the dead attackers and secured their location.
Sarah could see nearly all of her team. Specialist Thomas, Corporal Silverberg and the Major were all missing.
“Were all three of them traitors?” Sarah asked, turning back to the sergeant. He was after all the highest ranking now.
“No. The bastards killed Silverberg when he went for his sidearm,” Goni growled.
“That bastard Thesik is in charge of things here… but it doesn’t seem like its his show.”
Sarah nodded. “Their techie weasel in the coms room told me they reported back to someone else.”
“You leave him alive?” Goni arched an eyebrow in Sarah’s direction as he checked the magazine on the Kalashnikov he had secured.
Sarah’s expression darkened. “”Sorry, he gave me reason to accidentally let my finger slip ...”
The sergeant stopped checking gear and looked her in the eyes. The comforting way he paid attention when there was something actually wrong was reassuring. “What reason was that?”
”He called me a transvestite ... Apparently, they all knew about me,” she explained, pulling a sour face. “And when they came to get Maritza, they were planning on killing me. I seem to have pissed off some seriously powerful people, boss,” she whispered softly, looking up at Goni.
“What did I say to you back at base that time?”
Sarah cocked her head. “What good would ‘fuck em’ do now?”
“Ordinarily, I’d agree. But you do happen to have a great deal of firepower, and after seeing you come in here alone like some female version of John Mclane on pms… I’d think your current ‘fuck em’ capabilities are quite a good option.
Sarah couldn’t help but smile. Truth be told, the ‘Diehard’ movie had run through her head more than once since this began. She felt very much like Bruce Willis ... What a disturbing thought…
“Corporal?”
Sarah turned coming face to face with the Premier and his wife. “Is our daughter safe?”
'Oh god, Maritza....' ”I left her under her bed in our berth, wearing my body armour, Sir,” She replied. “I felt it was safest considering. I'll take a trooper and go and retrieve her, sir.”
The Premier nodded curtly. Turning to leave, she made her way towards David Zeis.
”Sarah?”
She looked back. The Premier smiled. “Thank you for your timely assistance.” He winked.
“Nice to be appreciated sir.” She grinned.
Sarah and Zeis made their way out of the stateroom, heading aft towards the cabin she had shared with Maritza.
The two moved swiftly but stealthily. Moving about the boat was far simpler when you didn’t have to rely on yourself to cover 360 degrees.
Approaching the cabin door, Sarah held her finger to her lips before trying the door. Unlocked… Readying her weapon, she hit the open button before bursting into the room, weapon raised.
This was not right…. The man she had left unconscious in the chair had a bullet hole through his forehead. Dropping to the floor, she dove under the bed. Maritza was gone.
”Shit.”
“She’s not there?”
“No but…" She trailed off, her eyes fixed on a red blinking light beneath the bed.
“No what?” David asked, looking puzzled.
“GET OUT!” she screamed.
David had been around too many bombs to question a ‘get out’. He came flying out of the Berth, crashing into the side of the passageway in his headlong scramble for anywhere but there. Sarah was not far behind.
Stumbling, she fell forward, landing atop of the Trooper.
“Ordinarily, I’d enjoy this position. But what the fuck was that about?”
With a scowl, Sarah punched him in the arm. “I saw a b…”
her statement was cut short by a deafening blast from the berth. Smoke, flame and debris flew out of the door.
Coughing, Sarah rolled off David and lay on her back, panting. “I was going to say… I saw a bomb.”
”Ugh, No shit.” groaned Zeis.
Looking over at her teammate, Sarah burst out laughing. “Hey, did the earth move for you too, baby?” she grinned.
Groaning, David sat up, dusting himself off. “So she left then?”
”Yeah.” Replied Sarah sarcastically. “She left and they planted a bomb for us. That bastard’s got her.”
“Shit.”
The knot in Sarah’s stomach tightened. “He must have heard the gunfire. His people didn’t check in. SHIT. I should have taken her with me.”
“No, you did the right thing. Taking some kid along with you would put her and you in more danger than necessary.” David replied, setting off down the passageway. “Where did they tie up their boat?”
”Boats.” Sarah replied. “How did you?”
”They didn’t walk on water now, did they?” David offered.
“Yeah I guess. Ah, Stern, at the dive Platform, two ribs. I cut the fuel lines on em both, they aren’t going anywhere fast.
“Good girl.” David smiled looking back at Sarah.
The two made their way back along the passageway the same route Sarah had taken when she first left the berth.
Arriving at the stern ladder, they could hear voices outside.
“It's Thesik and some Arab.” hissed David. “How do you want to play this?”
”We aren’t.” Sarah replied shaking her head. “He has Maritza, we cant risk a fire fight. Plus, he wants me. Just make sure your shooting is better than your explosives….”
”I resemble that comment…” he smirked.
“I don’t know why he can’t have some insane hatred of you …. I’m the fucking sniper. I can trust my shooting.”
”Thanks for the vote of confidence, but you are not going out there alone.” David answered, placing a hand on her shoulder.
”Tough!” She spat, throwing her Kalashnikov at him.
Sarah walked up the steps to the stern deck.
The major was just visible down on the Dive platform. He was accompanied by two Arab men, one holding Maritza, the other fiddling in the one of the ribs, his work made more difficult by the wake of the yacht buffeting them about.
“Thesik!” she shouted.
The major looked around startled, then grinned broadly. “Well if it isn’t our prodigal son. Why did you have to be so God damned independent, David? Can’t you just be a good deviant and die by your own hand the first time?”
Sarah fought the desire to shoot this man. “You can’t make it, you know. There’s two Blackhawks on their way with the standby teams. You won’t make it more than a few miles.”
”Ah but they won’t attack me with her aboard. Thank you for leaving her for me. For once, you doing your job benefited me.”
”Sir, the boats good to go,” the man in the rib shouted in Arabic.
”Let her go, Thesik, you know you want me more. I disgust you. She’s just an innocent kid.”
The major threw back his head with a maniacal laugh that seemed far too comic to be truly nasty. “You are right David, you do disgust me, you perverted little freak. But sadly, I won't receive quite as much for my retirement plan for you.”
”So that’s it? You betray your country for money?” Sarah challenged, wanting to waste the man’s time. “And working with Palestinians? I thought even you had more respect than that.”
The man on the boat raised his AK towards Sarah, but Major Thesik batted it down. “No he’s mine,” he growled.
“So come on! Kill me!” Sarah challenged, walking slowly towards the top of the steps to the dive platform. “I know you want to.”
“Stay there, freak.” barked the Major. “None of your little games now, please.” After telling the man holding Maritza something, he cast off the line securing their boat to the yacht.
Sarah’s eyes followed the Rib as it bobbed away in the wake before powering off.
”So it’s just you and me now,” she growled.
”Yes, so it is. And believe me, this is a great pleasure.” The major pulled a baton from his vest, and flipped it open.
Taking the action as an invite, Sarah descended the steps to the platform.
“Ironic isn’t it,” she called as she circled him on the 12 ft square platform at the stern of the yacht.
”What is that?” smirked the Major.
”You decided to fight me like a man, not murder me in cold blood like I assumed you would. I’d have thought you wouldn’t want to get so close to something so perverted and disgusting.”
“Oh that is true, but I will derive greater satisfaction from beating your pretty sissy face in, Zayin kariyot,” he hissed as he lunged forwards.
Sarah felt the baton strike her left arm bellow the elbow, smashing the bone. Yelping, she stumbled backwards against the boat. The major had a twisted look of satisfaction on his face.
Blocking out the pain, she came forward rapidly, closing the distance between the two of them, making his baton almost useless. With her good hand, she slammed the heel of her fist into his jaw, snapping his head back.
Dazed, the major dropped the baton, but grabbed onto Sarah wildly.
Falling to the deck, the two grappled and exchanged blows. Sarah greatly disadvantaged by the broken arm.
Rolling over, the major came out above her, and sitting astride her torso, placed his hands around her neck.
Sarah could feel the life leaving her body as his hands tightened around her windpipe.
As black spots began to appear in her vision, she summoned all her strength and raised her legs up, launching the major headlong over her and flying into the bottom of second rib.
Springing to her feet, she yanked knot securing the rib’s mooring line to the yacht, sending it bobbing away, the major sprawled in the bottom.
The major regained his feet, stood in the rib as the gap between the two widened. ”Thank you David, perhaps I’ll post you the girl’s cunt. Then you can have one of your own.” He laughed as he moved to start the boat’s engine.
Sarah pulled the Glock from her holster and aimed at the open gas tank in the rib, which was sloshing fuel all over the bottom of the boat.
“Thesik, burn in hell, you bastard!” she screamed as she pulled the trigger.
The wide-eyed look of surprise on the Major’s face was erased from sight as the rib was torn apart by a blinding explosion.
Sarah was thrown back onto her butt on the dive platform, her head striking the deck with a crack that ripped consciousness from her.
Comments
Well, one major pain gone...
But, the question becomes, how does superwoman rescue the PMs daughter? It's going nowhere fast, with a cut fuel line... I just hope he doesn't kill the girl and himself. That's REALLY hurt Sarah.
As to the Choppers? Well, how far can the yacht get in 90 minutes... Say the Yacht can do 25 knots - that means up to 37 nautical miles from the starting point - assuming Straight line sailing at max speed for the ENTIRE time. Doesn't sound like that's happening. So, the boat is likely to still be in UHF range if one of the choppers pops altitude. She'll hear them anyway. Depends on how strong her transmitter is. I've seen UHF radios effective across much more than 40 miles.
I'm more concerned with how many MORE bombs are still on the Yacht... And whether they can stop the motor and such. They're a whole lot closer to the original position now, than they would be at max accel.
When's the next chapter due?
Annette
On the water
Radio has an even easier time traveling the distance. The only limiting factor to the signal is the curvature of the earth.
Yes, I know...
Thus my comment about one of the choppers popping for some altitude.
Tension is increasing
Edge of seat drama.
Susie
I Was A Little Confused by the Action Description at the End
In the previous chapter, the description was that Sarah disconnected the fuel lines. In this chapter, she said that she cut the lines. The most effective method would be to cut the hose so that there was a gap (requiring additional hose) or requiring another fitting to repair the line. I thought possibly that the fuel line problem had been discovered by the intruders as one of them was working on one of the boats (possibly repairing the fuel line) when Sarah first saw them as they were preparing to escape with Maritza, but then in the final confrontation with Thesik, the description was of Sarah aiming at the open fuel tank and then shooting. For it all to make sense, the fuel lines could not have been repaired and the open fuel tank was really the cut fuel line allowing gas to spill out. Is there another way to see it?
Some Critique
I've been fairly glowing of this fine adventure so far.
With this episode, I'm going to register some objection to developments. It's generally discouraged here to criticize authors for their plot decisions. After all, it's their stories to write. However, as a reader, I think it's legitimate at this point in a multipart story to express to the author how the story has affected my emotions, what sort of expectations this raises and what I feel "works" and doesn't work for me.
For, if the purpose of feedback and commentary is to give an author some idea of how his or her story is being received, then I don't see any reason to exclude the emotional arc of the story, the development of the plotline, nor, as they say in showbiz, the "business" that the characters carry out.
Anyway, to the point...
I was with you up until the confrontation/fight scene at the end. What happened to Zeis? Wasn't he going to be covering Sarah with the weapon? I was expecting him to shoot the Major when the Major came at Sarah with a truncheon. The whole fight/struggle seemed spurious to the story. It's the kind of thing you put in a Jackie Chan movie just to watch the fireworks. It doesn't carry the plot. Sarah has just come off her deathbed, pretty much, and you've got her doing a Terminator imitation and fighting on with a newly-broken arm. If she's packing a glock, why didn't she pull it when he pulled the truncheon in the first place? If the Major was going to end up dead anyway, why did you need him to break Sarah's arm? And what's this stuff about her ending up unconscious again?
It just strikes me as unnecessary for the plot and a major (no pun intended) interruption of the emotional arc that seemed to have the good guys fighting back and taking a modicum of control.
It's not that I can't handle negative developments in a story, just a question of when and whether they fit in and further the story, or seem to distract and detract from it. I've seen a few authors who have written what started out to be interesting stories and then got bogged down into, for lack of a better phrase, the fight choreography, throwing in one after another combat scene, each less survivable than the prior, and barely having any furtherance of the plot. By no means am I suggesting that is what happened here, just that all authors should ask themselves how multiple fight/struggle/combat scenes further the plot and avoid the consequences of diminishing returns as those scenes pile up, and just because you CAN write a good fight sequence doesn't mean you SHOULD just to kill time at a crucial point in the story.
Overall, I think you're doing great. Just be aware as to how or whether your scenes further your plot, or build or cool the emotional arc.
Anyway, with that opinion expressed, I'll leave you to your craft! Despite the apparent grumbling, I'm still anxiously awaiting the next part!
Subject line edited to remove Stan's Spoiler
But at what cost? Can they rescue the girl? Is Sarah able to mount the rescue?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
I knew a fella had his spoiler removed
Said it hurt like the dickens! But he was leaving the world of professional racing,
settling down with a cute litte Porsche out in the sleepy desert hamlet of
Radiator Springs. Went by the name of Lightning McQueen. Yep...
Sorry Stanman, everybody. Couldn't resist. This was a great fast paced chapter.
And now the dramatic rescue! (Which of course she will, Who else are
Sarah and Ari gonna have for the flower girl at their wedding?
~~~Mazal Tov! Laika
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Enjoyment and Wonderment
I'm enjoying this story. To me, the fight scene with the Major was satisfying. I would've been disappointed if he was stopped too easily.
The only thing I'm wondering about was how powerful the bomb was. Is the yacht in danger of sinking?
Help! I need another chapter soon. :)
- Terry
Hangin Again
Alyssa: This is great story but what and ending again Making all of us wanting another chapter "NOW!" Richard
Richard
Is Sarah on testosterone overdose?
As a reader I find it difficult to reconcile a character who cried for its victim as a sniper and as soon as she dons a skirt she flips to the "despatch" mode. I know it is your story but it would probably meet with a lot more acceptance if the central character stayed more human as you started off with (at the moment she is moving into cartoon superhero territory), but then maybe its just me. I just find that even Indiana Jones would have trouble keeping up with the action!
You obviously have talent as a writer as you know how to use the language well and communicate on multiple levels in one sentence. I feel you might be short changing yourself with too much hurry in the script: both in terms of timescales within the story as well as researching and proofing the consistency.
Most important don't stop, you have talent.
From my personal experience
As a male sniper, she is dealing with a lot more distraction than just killing the enemy. This GID crap is just awful until it is dealt with. I saw everthing through this horrible fog of self hate and it really clouded my judgement. I did, however, still have all my physical strength.
Since she has been "Out" such a short time, do we even know that she is on Estrogen and the other stuff yet? They told me to expect to have about the strength of a female after the drugs have "done their best". AND, girls really are only really weak against males if they want to be. :) Like as when my BF throws me on the ground and RaBaGeS Me! giggle.
I am told that this supposed loss of strength taks about 2 years to happen. Of course, I was also told that I could forget much breast developement. Well, since I have been on the patch, mine are going to be of astonishing and pleasing size. I can't run with no bra anymore. :(
SO Cutting to the chase here, Sarah, can still make the nasty bitch credible. Later, I expect her to be in an Office, perhaps. OR NOT!
Gwendolyn
well, maybe
A few things might stretch the credibility a smidge, but with the compressed time in such a situation I'll go with it. Also from what I've read AK's are not the most accurate rifle, reliable and good for close fighting but not very accurate. So to shoot 20 metres or so from a swaying boat at a smaller bobbing boat would be tricky, maybe if he had his own weapon that he knew backwards, but...
Anyway minor niggles aside it is still a great little action with angst tale, keep on.
Kristina
Minor diffculties, overall good
The fuel line would be reparable. An outboard motors fuel line is not very high pressure, particularly an older 2-cycle engine. It's nothing like a fuel-injected car's fuel line, so some salvage bits of tubing and clamps or duct tape might do in a pinch to splice the line. Or the man may have removed part of the line and reattached the fitting. Who's to say if the repair will hold for long?
The Major is not necessarily dead just horridly burned. With luck the authorities will fish him out of the water before he dies and he can spend months in hospital with 2nd and 3rd degree burns and die from massive infection and organ failure... not that I am vindictive. I want him alive so he can feel the full furry, um fury of his betrayal of kin and country. Oh, maybe they have to remove his genitals to save his miserable life?
More bombs are the big risk. If they can find them all and regain control of the yacht, they can pursue the small boat.
I agre, AK47s are asault weapons, not precision sniper rifles and the accuracy is terrible but who cares when it's used like a small machingun. Let's hope her elbow is only sore and bruised.
Is Ari alive? And can they save the girl? Nice stuff so far. Any flaws are minor and can be fixed. What counts is this is an exciting tale.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Scuttling the Yacht
There's no point for these baddies to scuttle the yacht with the Premier aboard. If they do that, their hostage is worthless. Other than as a point of extortion to make the Premier do what they want, she has little tactical value.
In another situation, if the baddies were garden-variety terrorists, their goal would have been to kill the Israeli leader just to show that they could, and presumably a much easier task than the one they've chosen. Obviously, they have something much more specific in mind.
issues raised: shooting him
issues raised:
shooting him is too easy. I had to add a fight. It is possible to take on a man with a melle weapon unarmed, but as sarah was injured, he got a good strike in first.
As for the boats: there were TWO ribs, i did say :P the fixed one, the major wanted to attack sarah. so his own hatred caused his issue, he clearly hoped the moving boat would clear him from them without the need to repair it straight away. THe priority was get the hostage. One boat worked, one was slopping fuel.
And 20m with an AK? are you kidding? thats not a very hard shot. ESPECIALLY for a marksman.
the aksu is fairly accurate out to 100-200. beyond that, less so. for a trained marksman, a gas tank in a boat 20m away isnt a tall order.
As for the change in pace. I wanted to show that it was more rushed and haphazard. Sarahs intervention runied thier initial plan. They had to do what they could to salvage the operation.
Thanks for the Clarification
It wasn't clear to me what the situation was regarding the level of repair of each rib. I guess that means that Maritza is in real danger.
road to haifa
any idea when the next one will be out?
and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Hi Alyssa
I read this from start to finish last night after being directed to it from Homework!
Can't wait for the next chapter, you have a very sensitive and well drawn character in Sarah.
Thank you so much
Anna
xx
Anna