Wait, did my wife just divorce me?

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Dear Readers,
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Invisible has been my guilty pleasure. And I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did.
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But, while I'm editing and waiting for the final cover, I had to write this little story that came to me in the shower. It's really a first draft and I don't know if it has legs. But, I know the readers here have lots of patience and tolerate my rotten tomatoes.
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Thanks for reading

BTW: this chapter has been reworked, more words, more story...
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Chapter One
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I was sitting at the breakfast table enjoying my second cup of coffee when Lily breezed through our kitchen on her way to work. I looked up, smiled, anticipating a tender kiss.

As she leaned over, Lily placed a delicate hand on my chin. Instead of a soft kiss, she stared. “I want you to focus, one-hundred-percent. It’s important.”

Lily knew me too well. I was surprised at the timber in her voice. It was like a firm command. So I did exactly what I was told. I carefully set my coffee cup on the coaster and closed my laptop. The stock market could wait. My blue chip investments weren’t going anywhere until the market opened.

Lily waited until I looked up at her, then she smiled. “Camille, you know I love you. Right?”

I nodded. In Lily’s world ‘I love you’ covered a lot of bases - a cute puppy, a dress, an ocean view, an excellent day at the spa. All I could concentrate on was how nice Lily looked in her Anne Klein navy blue, pinstripe suit. The tailored jacket and the pleated short skirt accented her long legs. She’d matched it with a silver blue camisole top that I’d just hand washed and ironed yesterday. I couldn’t help but smile thinking about all the beautiful lingerie I regularly kept in perfect condition for her. I knew what she was wearing because I’d watched her get dressed as I served her coffee this morning. I didn’t have to close my eyes to remember the French lace bikini panty and a matching bra.

Lily brought me back to real time when she spoke. She was staring into my eyes. “And we’ve been lovers for how long, Camille?”

I blinked my eyes. I only wore a bit of sun screen foundation and mascara this morning. It was early. With just a light robe over my sheer nightgown, I felt positively naked sitting there in front of her. But, I smiled because I knew the answer to the question. “You and I have been together since my freshman year in college - seven years, and eight months. We met when Ralph Steering assigned you to handle my trust.”

Lily smiled. “And I remember, too. You were such a fresh face. That first afternoon, sitting there in my office was the day I found out you’d just started hormone replacement therapy.”

I smiled. “It was a wonderful September day and I fell in love with you at first sight.”

Lily grinned. “And you turned out to be the sweetest lover I’d ever known. Your gentle touch, your soft lips. It still gives me chills just thinking about your dedication to pleasuring me. And no one has ever asked me to marry them in the middle of making love.”

I nodded. “It was our first time. You were perfect then and you’re even more perfect now.”

She frowned. “Hmm. Your compliments still make me blush.” She took a deep breath. “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

I watched her wipe a tear from her right eye.

She stared straight at me and suddenly looked very serious. “Camille, I want a divorce. I’ve got the papers here.” I watched her remove a file folder from her attaché case, open it, then take out several documents. “Here’s a pen. You need to sign where I’ve marked.”

I reached out and took them from her hands. I shook my head. “You know, Lily. I wondered when this would all happen. Tom Reynolds really does seem like the perfect man for you.”

Lily sighed and touched my shoulder gently. “I hope so, Camille. These past six months have been very confusing for me. Actually, they’ve been terrible. It’s frustrating. Here I am, in our house together with you, knowing that I can’t get him out of my mind. It’s terrible to love you but need him so badly. Even with this divorce, I still dream of us staying close. You know, being the best girlfriends ever!”

I felt sorry for Lily. She’d become the hummingbird that flits from one flower to another. I didn’t understand her point of view. I’d tried to put myself in her shoes many times. But she was right. Everything had changed. The whole time we’d been together, she’d been so content. But, now everything had shifted. I was old news at twenty-six-years-old. Our marriage was over. Mentally, Lily had moved on.

I reached out and touched the hand she’d left on my shoulder. I pulled it to my cheek and softly rubbed. It seemed ironic that I was consoling her. I was giving her the sympathy she desired. I was giving her the strength to go through with this. “Of course, Lily. You know I wouldn’t want to lose what we’ve had together after all these years. I love you too much.”

I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. I was picturing her leaving me and our home. She’d take a deep breath as she’d get into the white BMW convertible I’d bought her for her thirty-fifth birthday. She’d check the rear-view mirror making sure that none of those tears had ruined her makeup. Then, I imagine that she’d drive straight to his place. She’d run up and throw herself into his arms. She’d be laughing, covering his face with kisses, and declaring herself to be all his.

In a way, that image made it easier for me to deal with this morning. Since I refused to talk about him, I opened that door a crack. “When’s the wedding?”

Lily grinned smugly. In her mind, I’d asked the right question. She looked like the cat who’d eaten the family’s pet canary. She’d sinned, deserted our marriage, and now left me behind. But now, in her mind, everything seemed so perfectly sweet. “June.”

I covered my mouth in shock. “So soon? That’s only ten months from now.”

Lily nodded. She seemed a little daydreamy when she replied. “Well, Tom doesn’t want to wait. He wants to start a family now.”

I’d read about him in his stockholder’s report. Tom Reynolds was nearing forty. I shook my head. A wedding. I thought about my wife, well, really my ex-wife. I flashed on Lily walking down aisle in a huge church, the congregation rising, all of them gazing at her. I knew she’d be so full of herself with all those envious eyes feasting on her radiant beauty.

I could picture all the groomsmen in their formal black evening wear. Her bridesmaids standing there demurely wrapped in chiffon and silk. Then, in my mind I saw a reception line, envious glances at her engagement and wedding rings, and all those compliments continuing to swell her head.

I pictured their honeymoon cruise, maybe in the Greek Islands, where they’d be so hungry for each other they’d have trouble leaving the suite. I pictured Lily, sunning on the Lido deck in a micro bikini, maybe topless, with Tom’s meaty hands pawing her delicate body. The flush of passion tuning her skin pink while Tom would play her like a violin.

But, then, I saw the jarring image of Lily six months later. The frustration of how none of her beautiful wardrobe could fit anymore as her perfect body changed with Tom’s baby growing inside her womb. With her hormones raging, I pictured her trying to juggle the competition at work, a new husband to please, and facing all the unknowns of pregnancy.

For the past months as her affair raged, I’d refused to even listen to her talk about her new love. Up until that point, all her trysts had been brief and faceless. Long ago, I’d agreed to an open marriage because she’d insisted it was the only way to keep us together. But, once she finally slept with Tom Reynolds, all the open marriage rules were discarded. The man had obviously sent her spinning and our relationship fell apart.

At the beginning of our marriage, whenever Lily disappeared for a night or two, she would return satiated, but needing me more. The woman would be happy to back in our bed, acting contented and loving me more. And this had been our married life together for years. After each of these affairs, our love was rekindled.

I’d learned to accept that as part of our relationship. Lily had encouraged me to go out and do the same thing, but it wasn’t in my nature. I was content. I had grown up with Lily by my side. We’d been together since I was eighteen and she was twenty-seven. She was my lover, my mentor, and had patiently helped me find myself. She had guided me through my transition and all my surgeries. I owed her a lot and had showed my gratitude by showering her with my love and my riches. She was the world to me.

But, I realized the random one nighters had stopped. Lily was home every night, but she was restless. She wanted to talk about this man she’d met. How her firm had been brought on board to handle some legal difficulties at his company. At first, he was a client, but then she became his personal legal advisor, too. I heard about dinners and late nights working together. After a point, I realized that Lily was captivated by everything he did. She wanted to share her fascination with this man by talking about everything he said.

I learned his name, Tom Reynolds, and how Lily was mesmerized by him. Obsessed would have been the word I’d have used. But, deep inside, I wanted it all to end. I was tired of her fixation with some over-the-hill ball player turned entrepreneur.

I waited she’d just sleep with this guy and to get over him. I wanted her to scratch that itch and just come back to me. I wanted to deflate this growing bubble of need inside her. I made a plan. I told her I was going out of town. I mumbled something about seeing my old surgeon for a touch-up that would require ten days in New York. But, actually, I was headed to Arizona for a ten-day meditative, yoga retreat.

I’d finished with my surgeries when I was twenty-three. Lily never kept track and really wasn’t listening to what I said. I stressed the ten day absence hoping this would be the end of all this distraction.

When I returned from my retreat, I came back to an empty house. I hadn’t heard from my wife for ten days. But, this was not unusual. When Lily was mesmerized with someone new, she was immersed completely. She’d only come up for air when she was done.

As I walked through the house, I saw the remnants of their love making. Candles burnt down to their stubs everywhere. Empty champagne bottles overflowing the sink and recycles. Take-out containers and pizza boxes overflowing the trash. Further inspection showed me how our bed was in tatters. One look at the bedding told me I’d never sleep on that mattress or even bother to wash those sheets.

But, the two of them were gone.

As I was unpacking my luggage, I heard her BMW pull up. She ran through the door and into my arms smothering my face with kisses. I looked at her and she positively glowed. I was tickled. My plan had worked. Finally, I had Lily back in my arms and our marriage could continue.

It wasn’t to be. All her weekends with Tom had left her yearning for more. And like a delicate moth, she was caught in the bright light of his outgoing personality and fame. He became her oxygen.

Our lives had changed.

Sometimes, she’d stay home for a few days or even a rare week while he was busy or away on business. But, after a while, Lily stopped feeling an obligation to excuse her behavior. Our relationship grew old. Weeds grew in our untended garden of marriage. But, I refused to hear about him. I didn’t want to share in her newfound joy. I just had to deny what was taking place for my own peace of mind.

And that’s why I expected her to hand me those papers. We both knew our marriage was over.

Bu now, with the news I’d just gleaned about Tom Reynolds wanting to start a family, I tried to picture Lily in five years. It would be a few babies later, one coming right after another as she provided her man with his family. She’d see her tight body loosing it’s elasticity, the muscle memory lost as she’d be unable to bounce back to the youthful beauty that was part of her charm.

During our time together, Lily had done a good job of keeping herself fit and trim. But all that stretching to bear a brood for Tom would be her real sacrifice. I tried to imagine her in five years and couldn’t. I’d been married to a professional woman who’s focus had been on her practice and her personal self. She’d always set aside time for me and we were in love. I accepted who she was and what she needed. But, she had always returned.

I blinked several times digesting her statement. I tried to remain neutral and aloof even though I was rocked to my core. “That’s ironic, Lily. In all our time together, I never pictured you as the maternal type. And trying to imagine what those babies will do to your body. Well, have you considered using a surrogate?”

She nodded. We weren’t talking like a married couple, but simply two women chatting in a kitchen over danish and coffee. “Camille, I really thought about it. But, Tom’s old fashion and wants us to go the natural route together. He wants to witness all of his babies growing inside me. You know, he’s so sweet. I’m sure he’ll make a great father.”

All I could say was uh-huh. I tried to forget hearing about Tom and his philosophy because I would end up judging him too harshly. The man was entitled to his own thoughts and opinions. Old fashion. I wondered what he thought about me.

I guess by signing her papers, I’d given her permission to talk up this infatuation. Up until that point, I’d stubbornly refused to hear it. But, now that I’d given her everything she wanted and more, my role as wife and partner had expired.

But, my imagination went unchecked. I cruelly pictured Lily becoming his personal breeding cow, spending the next five years pregnant and whelping Tom’s heirs. I tried to imagine her huge ego playing second fiddle, sacrificing everything to please him. I’m sure the sex was excellent now, but Lily’s future would be down a new path. I tried not to be negative. After all, I was no longer part of the plan.

I was trying not to be cruel by judging her. It wouldn’t have made any difference because Lily seemed to be oblivious to my pain. The word heartless came to mind. She was still smiling when she started up again. “Oh, honey. You said it. All of that parenting business was the furthest thing from my mind back when we were starting out. I envisioned us growing old together, content, just to be sharing our lives.

“But, it’s so different with him. Tom wants a traditional marriage. I know it’s going to be hard. For the past ten years I’ve worked hard. I’ve built up a law firm with excellent clientele. I’ve had all the freedom I could want in our marriage and well, my life. And now, my man sees my first responsibility in making him a happy home. It all starts with motherhood!” She looked overwhelmed.

“At first I worried whether I could get pregnant at thirty-five. But, I’ve seen the doctor and I’m well on my way through my first trimester with Thomas Reynolds the third. It’s all still my biggest fear. Pregnancy and child rearing, well, what if I’m a terrible mom?”

I tried not to show the shock on my face. Pregnant! And giddy about it, too. Inside, I was reeling from this announcement. Because I’d choose not to be her confidant for these past months, this news took me by surprise. As I tried to recover, I decided to make my choice. I would not become that person. I would move forward without becoming jealous or angry. I would continue to be a caring, loving person.

I’d continue to be generous with Lily even though I had been forsaken. I smiled. “Well, you’ll just have to get excellent help. You’ll need a support staff. If you want, I’ll help arrange and pay for whatever you need.”

Lily wiped a tear from her eye as she shook her head. She stared at me like I’d just walked into the room. “Oh, my gosh, Camille! You really would. You’d pay out your money to support babies that I’m having with someone else. And look at you. You’re as sincere as can be. No anger, no rage. I’m amazed at you. All this time I’ve been cheating on us, violating our marriage vows, you never let it affect our love. And even now, you are still true to me.”

I laughed. Even when the reality of her affair had torn my heart apart, I never considered getting mad or angry. What good would it have done to scream or yell? It was obvious that I’d need to become someone I wasn’t to challenge this stranger who had stolen my wife. Pistols at dawn? A fistfight? But, that would never be me. Just as I had taken years becoming the woman of my mind’s eye, I was never going to search out the testosterone laden hot blood to make myself the challenger.

In my mind, Lily didn’t want to be won back. She’d made up her mind months ago and moved on. In her mind, our marriage had been annulled.

But, I was realizing that all good things must pass. We’d had a good run and I was slowly coming to terms with what was happening. I kept coming back to feeling like the fledgling who needed to fly away and leave the nest.

I tried to stay positive because no one likes a bitter person. “Am I going to be Aunt Camille?”

“Of course. You certainly can’t be Uncle Carl.”

That comment brought me up so short. Ouch. I didn’t deserve that swipe. It reverberated deep down into my soul. I was taken back with how hurtful and thoughtless that remark was. I was shaking and angry as I stood. I almost walked away from her. “Ugh, Lily. You know how I hate my dead name. That was totally unnecessary.”

I think she actually realized how hurt she’d made me feel. I saw her face change and suddenly she looked sorrowful.

“I’m sorry, Camille. That was a thoughtless remark. I can do better.”

I thought about the new world Lily was making for herself. She was looking down at me, not considering my feelings. I realized that Lily was leaving me at the curb and driving away down the road. As an aside, I said, “I can’t believe your Tom doesn’t mind having me around.”

She stared at me. “Oh, Camille. That’s silly. I didn’t give him a choice. I explained how we were soul mates. I explained about our love. But, you know everything’s different now. You can stay a best friend, a younger sister, and my confidant. That’s important because you know what I need and what I’m thinking.

“But, with Tom, our new relationship is growing. I think the man respects my honesty. He’s done everything I’ve asked of him and more. But his love is so different. He’s certainly not you. He falls so short in trying to please me. Sometimes, he stops caring after his needs are satisfied. Sometimes, I wish you were there to give him lessons.

I actually laughed out loud. “Lily, you’re living in your own dream world. Genetically, Tom and I are both the same, but I’m truly a woman. You and I are closer because of that. Your Tom will never have my perspective.”

Lily looked at me. “And that’s why I was hoping you could join us for a night or two. It could be a win-win. You’d learn how to please a man and we could both show him what I need. I know he enjoyed a little more girl on girl.”

I was shocked. “Lily, you’re nuts! Me and Tom, no way! End of this conversation!” I raised my voice to emphasize my point.

“But, truly, Camille, you’d love it. He’s such a brute. Last month, we had some fun with a pair of call girls in Las Vegas. He’s the most virile man I’ve ever met. I had trouble walking for days after that.”

I shook my head. I was not smiling.

Suddenly, Lily lost her temper. Maybe it was hormones talking, but she curled her lip and spat out, “I’m not surprised that Tom’s never seen you as a threat or competition. You’re such a worm.”

I stared at her. I stepped back and folded my arms across my breasts. I watched as Lily started to cry. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Camille.”

I watched the tears fall down her face. I was surprised not to want to soothe her pain but she’d been angry that I wasn’t still being her personal assistant and attending to her every need. I remembered how ten minutes ago, I’d been fired from being her wife.

I grew sad. While Tom was being open-minded about all of Lily’s thoughts and opinions. I knew that would change. I didn’t think he’d want me around putting thoughts in his wife’s mind. I was sure that before long, I wouldn’t fit into his plan or have a place in their lives.

A while back, I’d finally done a bit of research about Tom Reynolds when it became obvious of what was happening. I discovered that in his youth in Kansas, he’d been a talented baseball phenom in high school. He continued his rise through one year of college and became a first round draft pick. The man signed for millions and never looked back. With his quick reflexes and strength, he could place a ball wherever he wanted, whether he was pitching or hitting.

At thirty-three, he retired from Major League Baseball and continued to do a good job of managing his money. He’d become a very successful entrepreneur. From the distance of the internet, I’d had a chance to examine the publicly traded companies he owned. Knowing that he was sleeping with my wife, I’d moved some of my money into purchasing his company’s stock. And eventually I owned almost ten percent of his public holding. Even though I had never met the guy, well, let’s say that when Lily left me, I decided to passively take a part of him.

I know it’s twisted logic, but eventually, my shell companies purchased about thirty-three percent of his public holdings. I held the power to shut him down if I wanted. I could bring my lawyers to his annual board meeting and get a seat on his board. From there, I could see him voted out. But, I didn’t want the confrontation and had no desire to seek revenge. My other choice was to simply liquidate all those assets and cause a run on his stock. This would cause a lack of confidence in anything associated with Tom Reynolds’s name.

But I didn’t do anything. I let his company send me dividends each quarter and I used that money to buy more of his worth. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I waited until she’d collected herself after calling me a worm. “Lily, now that you’ve told me how you really feel, what does Tom have to say about me?”

She smiled to finally change the subject. It was obvious she was thrilled to be finally talking about her new man even to someone who she’d just crushed. “Well, when we first met, he loved the fact I was in an open marriage. You know the guys all love that. They can get what they want without any guilt. But, he was surprised when I told it was in a same-sex marriage. Later on, he told me that he never believed I was a lesbian. And then when you went away for ten days and I took him back to our house, well, he finally saw photos of you.

“I know he was dumbfounded. Tom just couldn’t believe you were trans. I think he was really surprised just how beautiful you were. I’d have to smack him in the back of the head when I caught him staring at your pictures. You know, at that moment, I hated that. I can’t complete with a beautiful twenty-six year old woman. And I don’t have time to spend all day taking care of myself like you do. I settle for Botox, the occasional lift, and fillers. And I thought I could keep up with you. The fact that you never worry about anything just pisses me off. You’re so naturally beautiful that you don’t even need help.

“Well, besides the usual guy statements about your body or what he’d do with you sexually, I think he still had trouble understanding that you’re a trans woman. The man simply saw us as a pair of lesbians. And Tom’s line of thinking always assumed that a real man could straighten out any lesbian when he took them to bed. So, I don’t think he ever saw you as trans. I don’t think he could believe it.”

I listened and tried to understand. I’d never met Tom and could only imagine what he looked like. I never bothered to Google his pictures other than a head shot that came up in his company’s annual report.

Whenever I pictured his face, I always saw him wearing a bright brass ring through his nose or a training collar around his neck. Even though Lily had fallen head over heels in love with him, I knew she needed to feel in control.

But, I guess I was wrong. She’d be giving this all up to be his wife. I’d always saw her as being the strongest person, but I guess she’d met her match. It all made me wonder. Tom could offer her so much more than I could. They’d be creating lots of babies to give them a complete family.

All my life, I’d been a pleaser. I didn’t see a reason to become a different person. “Well, Lily. Thank you for including me in your future life. You know, I love you, Lily. And your happiness means so much to me. I knew you lusted for him for a long time before you stepped out on our marriage.”

She nodded. “Do you remember when it happened?”

I grinned. “Sure. I’d just gotten back into town. I’d been away for ten days and the instant I saw you, I knew it had finally happened.”

Lily suddenly looked sad. “Oh, Camille. I was so torn. I burned inside. I’d wanted him, but I still loved you. And when you returned, my heart broke. You looked so beautiful. And here I was breaking our vows. I was so despondent, but you were so sweet. You knew and you forgave me.”

I laughed. “I sensed the chemistry brewing for months before I left. You were so infatuated. I think that’s why I went away. Honestly, I was surprised you hadn’t done it earlier. I could smell your endorphins. You were in heat. And when I returned, I saw that you were floating on a cloud. It was wonderful to see how happy Tom had made you. I didn’t have the heart to scold you on the bed you two ruined going at it in our house. Even the pillows had to be burned.”

Lily blushed. “We did lose our heads. He was so, well, satisfying.”

“And I was amazed how the passion still kept flowing. It was a game changer for me because it was obvious how you felt. Of course, I could never be a husband; it was game over.”

“Oh, Camille. Stop being silly. You never tried to be my husband, whatever that means. The first day we met, you were so deliriously giddy about finally transitioning. You never wanted to take on a man’s role. I admired you because you knew who you were and were proud of yourself.”

I sighed. “You’re right. My only regret was not starting earlier.”

Lily smiled. “I was in awe how you’d just gone ahead at fifteen and stared the process. Even back then, you weren’t taking no for an answer.”

“Well, that was the benefit of boarding school in Switzerland. A weekend pass and a doctor who will take a suitcase full of Euros solved that testosterone problem. My parents would have flipped knowing I’d thrown away the future of our family lineage. But, those dangling bits always frightened me. They never belonged there. I honestly hated that part of me.”

“Camille, You’ve always been determined. As much as I’d like to think I wore the pants in this relationship, I always got the feeling that you let me feel in charge. But, you always got your way. No one realized that you really are a power broker. Look at you, always wanting perfection with everything you touch. And you believe it all the way to your core. You’ve had breast augmentation, waist, hip and butt work, liposuction, voice work, and that second nose job because the tip wasn’t perfect. I knew who I married.”

I sighed. “Oh, Lily. Don’t blow smoke. Right from the start, I knew I’d never be enough for you. This was my first relationship and I was always learning. I assumed it was only going to be a matter of time until you left me for the right person.”

Lily looked sad. “You say that, but you’re not angry or jealous. Why? Did you stop loving me?”

I smiled. “No. It’s just different. Once you consummated everything with Tom, well, you weren’t mine anymore. When we cuddled, I knew you were thinking about him. I still enjoyed our romantic moments, but knowing I had become second in your heart helped make it easier for me to make that break.”

Lily kissed me hard on the lips as her hand gripped the back of my head. As her tongue snaked through my mouth, I sucked down on it.

She pulled back and stared. “You’re always so right, Camille. Staying together would have been wrong for the both of us. We had a wonderful run, you and me. I loved witnessing your transition and watching you blossom into the most beautiful woman I know. But, I still worry. Are you going to be all right on your own?”

I smiled. “Sure. You don’t have to worry about me. Maybe I’ll keep you as a best friend. We will talk and have our fun together. But, I hope you and Tom go the distance. I like seeing you so happy.”

“Well. Maybe it’s time for you to take the next step. You should find someone.”

“Step? You want me to start looking around? C’mon. I’m being replaced this morning. You’re just trying to ease your conscious.”

“I wish you wouldn’t look at this that way. I don’t like the word replaced. It sounds so cold and clinical. I still love you, but, well, you know. Tom is different and I’m ready to stand by his side.”

“Lily. It’s okay, however you want to phrase it. I already told you that I’m fine.”

“Well, Camille. I think you need to start dating.”

I looked at her in amazement. “Dating! My wife is leaving me and I’m hardly ready to replace you. You’re kidding. Seriously, and what woman would want me? I’m so incomplete.”

“Woman? Oh, no. I think you’re wrong. I think you can go right out and replace me. But, I think you need a real change. You need to date a guy!”

I shook my head. “Lily, I’m not you. I’ve never looked at guys. And I don’t have the proper equipment down there to please a man..”

She smiled. “Well, don’t say no. You never anticipated me coming into your life just as much as I never thought I’d be a lesbian. I’m just saying you should keep an open mind. Honey, I didn’t go out looking for Tom. I never conspired to find a man and divorce you. I never planned on what happened. I considered him for months before I contemplated even a one night stand. I never thought I’d fall head over heels in love with the guy.”

“Lily, I saw how your lusted for Tom. I watched your biological needs overpower your mind. But, that’s not me. I’m perfectly content to watch the world go by. And seriously, I’m not there yet. I haven’t even thought about sexual reassignment surgery.”

Lily laughed as she checked over the signed documents before putting them back in her case. “Liar. You’ve been dreaming about your bottom surgery since you were ten. And it’s not money holding you back. I manage your trust and see your millions. And oh, yeah. I can still take care of your estate if you want me to, even after our divorce is finalized.”

“Don’t you want any of it?”

“Nope. The pre-nuptials I drew up are rock solid, plus Tom’s rich and I make good money. Never let it be said I’m an opportunist!”

“Fair enough. But let me demonstrate my everlasting love for you. Will you let me pay for your wedding?”

“Only if you promise to be my Maid of Honor.”

I tried to picture wearing a cocktail dress and smiled. I wasn’t going to argue with her. But, the last thing in the world I wanted was to be a spectacle at her wedding. I dread thinking of the finger pointing and the comments. “Of course.”

“Okay. And one more thing. Tom’s taking us out to dinner tonight to celebrate. I’m talking about the both of us.”

“Wait. I can see the two of you are celebrating your divorce. But, what’s there for me to celebrate?”

“Well, Camille. I want Tom to believe that you are happily giving me away to Tom. This is a wonderful moment for me and I think you should take part in it, too. And I want to show him that you’re okay with all of this. I want him to see you have no hard feelings. Will you do that for me?”

“I don’t know if I can sit there while he flaunts you as a trophy before my eyes. But, wait a minute. Is this what he wants?”

“Oh, no. This is all my idea. This is the way I’ve planned it. I’m in charge and he really has no idea.”

I hesitated and wondered what she’d told him. I’d do what she asked just out of curiosity. If things took a turn for the worse, I could simply excuse myself. So I tried to sound positive. “Sure, Lily. But I still think it’s better if the two of you celebrated alone.”

I thought for a minute. “I have an idea. How about after this dinner, the two of you could continue to party on your own. You could return to our house tonight and have more fun ruining sheets and pillows. And thinking about it, why not make it forever? The house is yours if you want it.”

“Oh, Camille. You know how much I love our house. It’s got so many wonderful memories that we shared together. And you really don’t mind if I bring Tom back tonight? It would be so convenient for me. But, are you asking to take part? Do you want to join us in our bed?”

“Oh, no! That never entered my mind.” I smiled. “It would just be a house without you being there for me. Please take it. Call it our settlement. I’ll pack a bag and move out to the beach house this afternoon.”

Lily hugged me.

I kissed her cheek like girlfriends do. “Good. Now, you can write up a deed transfer when you’re back in the office. Moving on, where are you taking Tom and me tonight for your celebration?”

“The Red Barn.”

I nodded. “I’ll meet you there at seven. I’ll feel like the fifth wheel, but it’s all for you.”

After Lily left, I took my coffee with me as I walked through the house. I was glad she wanted it. I had the opposite emotion. Everywhere I looked I saw her. We’d picked out everything together. Now, everywhere I looked would be filled with memories. I wasn’t strong enough to accept that.

It would be easy enough to move my clothes over to the water. Our other house was the perfect size for one.

For the past months, I’d worked to ignore the truths facing me. I had to accept that I was old news as the love of her life. She’d found someone else and that was it. Today’s documents tipped the scale. I tried not to get morose. I’d never known anyone like her before and doubted that wonderful love would happen again. But, I would be fine.

Buddha said that happiness comes with accepting what is.

So, I started to make a list. Then I made some calls.

I slipped into an old tee, panties, and flip-flops. I set aside today’s outfit and one for tonight. After that, I looked through our closet and made sure that all my clothes were separated from Lily’s. I randomly looked and touched some of her things. Sighing, I realized I’d grown up with my wife and wondered if any new person could understand me as well as Lily did.

Then, I moved all my shoe boxes to one side. Finally, I went through all our drawers making sure my stuff was together. I grinned. Lily would start missing me tomorrow when her laundry hamper started overflowing and she’d have to pick up after herself. I’d certainly been spoiling her taking care of the house and her. I liked playing housewife. I found it comforting.

I was the homebody. Lily aptly called me the fem. After too many years at boarding school in Switzerland, it was nice to enjoy the solitude of a quiet home. I had created a social life at the club playing tennis and golf with my girlfriends. I enjoyed having lunches and shopping, but my true pleasure was taking long runs along the paths that surrounded our estate.

I’d never worked. I attended college and enjoyed taking liberal arts classes. But, I was never driven like my fellow students. I dreamed about being a lady of leisure. Lady. I dreamed about being a lady all of my life.

My parents weren’t keen on discussion my gender confusion and instead sent me to a psychiatrist when I was eight. After my evaluation, I was shipped off to Europe and visited home on holidays. That’s when I learned how to fulfill my own needs and make myself happy.

And when my grandmother left me her family’s fortune, I was free to be myself. At eighteen, I sued to separate myself from my parents and was able to start my transition without anyone’s approval. That’s when I met Lily. It was September. I was just starting college and Lily was assigned to be the attorney handling my trust.

I fell in love and asked her out. We’d been together ever since.

I slipped into a bath and soaked for a while. Then I shaved my legs and touched up what needed to be done. I went from the tub to the shower and washed myself thoroughly. I smiled when I didn’t clean up after myself. The tub needing rinsing out and the wet towels were on the floor. Without me, Lily would need maid’s service in the future.

I slipped on a thong and capri’s. I settled myself into the matching bra and buttoned up a linen top. A pair of espadrilles rounded out my look as I sat down to do my hair and makeup. I was being casual since I’d moved up my appointment for nails and had arranged for a blowout. I did want to look beautiful tonight. I wanted Lily to remember me.