Part x of 6

 
Chapter 11
"Myra, that was an amazing performance!" Penny said in wonder. "Talk about take no prisoners! Who else could talk about the ancient Indus Valley civilizations and make it sing?"

"I did get a little carried away."

"Maybe, but it made a great video clip and it's going up on our Facebook page ASAP. You creamed old Congressman Ghastly without even mentioning his name. Nice work."

"But is it enough? Can I do enough at the state level to make a real difference?"

"Whoa, girl! Let's win this race before you start thinking national."

"You're right, but reading the BS that old Ghastly is putting out is getting me pissed. Things have got to change, we can't keep doing the same old crap!"

"You really are getting high doing this, aren't you?"

"I am. I never could figure out why my cousin put up with politics, but I think I know now. She may have had the right idea all along. Hank was too cerebral to make a difference in what people think."

"Don't knock it. The same approach doesn't work for everybody. Now get some rest, you have to eat some rubber chicken and do it all again tonight."

"You're right, Penny. You're always right."
 

Home. Dorothy was right when she said 'there's no place like home.' Strangely, Myrna's house had become the New Myrna's home, but as glad as she was to be there, the New Myrna was concerned about her cousin's deterioration.

"How do you do it, Myrna? It never stops and there's always one more speech or one more ass to kiss. I like the baby-kissing part, but some of those asses…"

"I keep thinking of the good I can do once the campaign is over. And I have to admit I sometimes think of how those asses would look with spike marks all over them. Then I smile and pucker up."

"Take one for the team, to use a macho metaphor, eh?"

"Not much macho around here any more, is there?"

"Fresh out. Even if I don't get you back in, this whole thing will have been worth it. I needed a kick to make me do what I've always wanted to do. Helen is here to stay."

"I wouldn't be too sure that Helen will be the one staying. I'm checking into hospice care next week."

"Myrna, no!"

"I'm afraid so. If I stay here and die all your effort will be wasted. I'm going a couple of states away to check out quietly so nobody here will know. Cousin, you've just told me that Hank is gone. Will it matter so much if you call yourself Helen or call yourself Myrna now that you're a woman? We've always been pushing the same causes. Will you push them in my name and remember me?"

"You can't die, Myrna!"

"Can to!"

Their old childish arguments suddenly came to both minds.

"I want to leave while I can still walk out of this house without help. Grace is making the arrangements, including changing some essential records so no one will be able to tell you were once my cousin. Helen, when you get my ashes I want you to take Penny and scatter them in your garden up in the woods. Then take her into your cabin and make sure she gets pregnant before you decide on your surgery. We need to have children to carry on our work."

"Myrna!"

"Helen, the poor woman has been in love with me for almost as long as we've worked together but I've been damned careful not to take it any further. I'm not attracted to women sexually so I couldn't give her what she wants.

"Now she's in love with you and she's going crazy watching me die while you're healthy and vibrant. She's bi so you two can decide how far you want to go in being a woman. Just be sure to store up enough sperm so she can get pregnant again if you go all the way. Dammit Helen, I want you to propose to her before I'm gone so I can see her happy and wish you well."

"I've been thinking about it, Myrna, but wasn't sure she could live with me being you for the rest of our lives."

"We've talked, Helen. She needs you and you need her. Get down on my knees and ask her, then make the announcement right away so the press can have a field day with two woman marrying.

"Myrna, you're sounding like my mother, you manipulative bitch."

"Compliments will get you nowhere. Helen, I've got to lie down, I'm done in, no energy left these days. I love you, cousin, and I know you are going to do me proud. Now go find Penny and make her as happy as possible in a bad situation."
 

Chapter 12
Helen and Penny stood at the curb, watching a car disappear as it turned the corner.

"That's it, she's gone. Really gone. I hate to think of her dying all alone in hiding."

"She won't be alone, my mother will be with her even if we can't. We have to stay here and make sure her courage is rewarded by carrying on her work."

"I know, but…"

"You love her, don't you Penny?"

Very quietly, "Yes."

"I knew it, but it wasn't my place to say. Let's go inside and sit down. We need to talk."
 

"Helen, I have a confession to make."

"I'm listening."

"Helen, I knew that Myrna thought the world of you before I even met you. I guess you realized I wasn't all that enthusiastic about you being her double, but I can't help but think you are one of the finest people I have ever met. That you would give up your life for Myrna just makes me more sure of just how good you are. I've been thinking a lot about my future and I have come awful damn close to asking you a question but haven't been quite ready. I'm ready now."

"And…"

"Helen, I know that I could never marry Myrna, even it it's legal now days. My biological clock is ticking and I want to have a child before it's too late. Myrna couldn't help me but you can. Would you be the father of that child for me? No strings, no obligations, but I want to see Myrna's line continue and you're the best hope for that."

"Penny, I can't tell you how flattered I am. It just so happens that Myrna left me with three tasks to accomplish, two of which I happily accept.

"This is Helen talking now, not Myrna's replacement. Penny, I know I'm not Myrna, not the woman you've loved, but I've fallen in love with you. She practically ordered me to marry you, but I'm asking for myself, not for her. If you'll have me I would like to marry you and be your wife.

"Before you answer, her second task, was to take you up to my cabin in the woods and make sure you were pregnant before we left. Pregnant so the dynasty can continue."

"Dammit! That woman could always read my mind. I stopped taking my pills a couple of months ago and I'm fertile next week. We need to be able to tell Myrna I'm pregnant before she passes. I don't know if there's an afterlife, but I damn well want to see her going there with a smile on her face."

"Come in the bedroom, I want to do this right."

In the bedroom, Helen went to Myrna's jewelry case and found the ring.

"Penny, this ring belonged to my Aunt Glory, Myra's Mother. She made sure I knew where it was for when I asked asked you this question."

Helen got down on her knees.

"Penny, will you marry me and bear our children, in the memory of one of the finest women who ever lived?"

"Yes, Helen. Yes Myrna. And yes, Hank."

"I don't think you'll be surprised if I tell you she had it resized to fit your finger."

"Myrna does not leave the important things to chance. It's beautiful."

"My Aunt Glory was a beautiful woman. For that matter, Uncle Len was quite the man. I hope we can do justice to the love that this ring represents."

"We will, Helen. Helen?"

"Yes, Penny?"

"Would it be crass to ask if we could start that baby right now?"

"The sooner the better. And if we aren't sure then we tell Myrna you're pregnant before she goes, no matter what."

"Absolutely."
 

"Helen? Have I mentioned that I'm bi?"

"Not directly, but the rumor mill thinks so."

"In this case it's correct. I can hardly wait until we have some more practice because that was one of the most satisfying first times I have ever experienced. There were times when I wasn't sure if you were a man or a woman making love to me."

"I suppose the boobs flapping in your face might give you that impression."

"It's more than that."

"You aren't the first to say that to me, Penny. There are times when I'm not sure myself."

"I think I'm going to enjoy sharing your bed, but we need to get up now."

"Why bother?"

"Because we need to go shopping and find you a ring so that there is no doubt we are engaged."

"I guess you're going to be the practical one in this marriage."

"Speaking of practical, you never told me what the third task was."

"We have to go up to my cabin and spread her ashes in my garden."

"You're right, that's not a task I want to do, but we will do it in her honor. We'll have to stay up there after the session is over next year so we can grow some lovely flowers and vegetables."

"Then we need to do two things right away. Send out a press release so the hoo-raw about two women getting married can die down before the election and go to the courthouse for the paperwork. I have Myra's - I mean my - birth certificate in the dresser. I assume yours is at your condo."

"Right in the safe. I'll need pack enough clothes to last a few days and then call the real estate people and put it on the market, since we'll be living together. Where are we going to find time for me to move?"
 

"Congratulations on the engagement, Myrna. You've made me a very happy man."

"Wait a minute, Ken! I'm the one who's supposed to be happy."

"But I won the pool."

"All right, Ken. What pool?"

"The one for when you were going to pop the question to Penny. We were beginning to think you were too chicken."

"Well dammit, Ken. How come I didn't get a chance to jump in the pool. I could have cleaned up if I knew you scurrilous scalawags were betting on me."

"Yeah, but who else would pick a week if they knew you were in it?"

"You're too logical for me. Get out of here and do some work."

"Yes, boss!"
 

Chapter 13

Senatorial Shenanigans?
Myrna Bonforte, longtime chair of the State Senate environmental committee and the most eligible woman in the senate broke the hearts of every man in the chamber yesterday. Miss Myrna has announced her engagement to longtime aide-de-camp Penelope (Penny) Clark.

Her opponent this time around, former senator James Glassey (who was turfed out of his seat last election and moved to Bonforte's district to challenge her) had a field day with the announcement.

He hauled out his soapbox and started declaiming like some Roman Orator about the scandalous behavior of his rival, condemning her getting hitched to another woman as an affront to morality.

Asked what she thought of Ghastly's - oops, I mean Glassey's - comments, Myrna smiled and said "The congressman is still mired in the hypocrisy of the past. He has once again shown that his dated ideas have no place in our modern world. I would hope he comes to realize he is living in the twenty-first century sometime before the election."
 

Religious Rantings or Political Piety?
Residents of Myrna Bonforte's district found a curious screed in their mailboxes on Monday. A new twist in the heated race between Bonforte and rival James Glassey has a colorfully printed condemnation of Miss Myrna, ranting and raving about her upcoming marriage to longtime aide Penelope Clark. Using such memorable phrases as 'Whore of Babylon' and 'Satan's Mistress' it seems somebody (with a whole lot of money and a printing press) doesn't like these ladies.

The maniac missive wasn't signed, but the text is strangely like the sermon given by the Reverend Foster in his budding Megachurch of the New Revelation last Sunday. I guess the Rev is willing to give up his tax free status to stick his angelic oar into politics.

So we called the good preacher and a spokesman piously denied any knowledge of the mailing. He even went on to tell me how Jesus wouldn't like people doing things like that. I could have sworn I heard splashing noises from the crocodiles swimming around in his tears.

By the way, Rev - if you won't sign your postcards because you don't want people to trace the dirt to you, don't use your church's bulk mail permit to save a few bucks.

Keep tuned, folks. When politics hits the gossip column things are starting to get interesting!
 

"... and once again, thank you for allowing me time to talk to you today. I'm sure you have some questions for me, but I'll be honest with you. We were late getting here and I didn't get a chance to take off these high heels and my feet hurt! So I'm going to step away from this podium and sit down while I answer your questions."

The audience laughed while Myrna was offered a chair, disengaged the microphone from the podium and kicked off her shoes with a sigh.

"Could you comment on the recent mailing to your district?"

"I was rather proud of our mailing, it summarizes all the things I've been trying to say very nicely. Of course, I hated my picture, but aren't women supposed to hate their own pictures?"

Another laugh.

"I was thinking about the mailing from Reverend Foster."

"Was that his mailing? The dear man claims it wasn't his. Far be it from me to call a man of god a liar."

"So tell me, are you really A 'Whore of Babylon' or 'Satan's Mistress?"

"Oh my, Such poetic language! Well, let's see: 'Whore of Babylon'… That doesn't fit, Babylon isn't in my district and any man who's shared my bed hasn't paid for the experience. Frankly, I'm disappointed there wasn't a seventeenth century woodcut of a devil with a forked tongue doing disgusting things to some poor damsel. It would have spiced the thing up.

"And 'Satan's Mistress'… You do know I'm engaged to be married? I don't think my fiancée would approve of me becoming anyone's mistress. In fact, I'd be seriously concerned for Old Nick's welfare if he even tried.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid I'm fully committed to being Penny's wife; we'll be married once the campaign is over and we have some free time again."

"So what do you say to those who don't approve of same-sex marriage?"

"It certainly beats a no-sex marriage."

More laughter.

"Seriously, there is a simple answer. If you don't approve of same-sex marriage then don't marry someone of the same sex. Same thing with abortion - if you don't approve then don't have one. I don't care how you live your personal religious life as long as you aren't hurting someone else. I do care when you start telling me I have to live my life according to your convictions.

"There are people in this world that believe in literally hundreds of gods and goddesses; no one could possibly satisfy all of the strictures of all of the religions. I'm satisfied with my relationship with my god and am perfectly willing to be satisfied with how anyone else relates to their god just as long as they leave me alone.

"Reverend Foster doesn't share that belief, so I'm afraid I'm not going to be inviting him over for a beer and a BBQ any time soon. He has stated publicly that he had nothing to do with the mailing, yet it was paid for by his church. If I remember right, one of those ten commandments he's so keen on tells believers not to lie, so I have no problem calling him an hypocrite."

"So when are you getting married?"

"Ask Penny - she's the one who keeps the calendar. I just show up where she tells me to and start shooting off my mouth."

"You've been a lot more, ah, forthright during this campaign than before. What's changed?"

"Have you noticed the increase in wildfires, floods, hurricanes, all kinds of natural disasters? Global warming is not going to let us hide with our heads in the sand much longer. We have to start doing something about it now. We need to be spending some serious money on research in ways to replace fossil fuels. Even if we find a viable and affordable replacement it's going to take time to get it on line.

"We can only do so much at the state level, but I'm determined to do what I can. That's why I'm so much more forthright this time around.

"The state can encourage wind and solar power, help clean up the mess left by irresponsible industry, and help farmers use animal waste to fertilize their fields instead of using oil-derived fertilizers. We could even start looking at how to recycle our sewage into fertilizer instead of dumping into the rivers and oceans.

"We need to be making alliances with our neighboring states to try and mitigate the damage being done at the federal level. Rivers run between states so we need to work together to protect them. Winds blow across state lines, so what others do will affect us; likewise what we do will affect them. Power plants in the Midwest have destroyed lakes in the Adirondacks, for example. This is going to cost a lot of money, but we have a future to invest in or we won't have a future.

"Thank you for listening to me - now I would appreciate it if you went out of here and started working to make the world a better place. I can use all the help you can give me to change the way things have always been."