Sixty is not that old - Part 1

All was quiet in the house. The Sun had risen well over an hour earlier. The hum of London grew as the city started a new day.

There were two occupants of the house. For one of them this was a day to celebrate. For the other, the prospect of walkies, rabbits to chase and food was normal.

In a bedroom at the front of the three-storey terraced house, Vivienne Carter was wide awake. Today was her sixtieth birthday, plus it was the first day of what she’d been calling her ‘afterlife’. She’d just retired from her job as very senior official at the HMRC in the ‘Collections Department’. The previous day which had been a rather sad occasion. Vivienne, could have carried on working for at least six more years until she qualified for a state pension but she’d had enough of work, commuting and putting up with the incompetence of other people for far too long so she'd decided several months before to call it a day when she turned sixty years of age.

That morning, Vivienne was just lying in her bed looking at a crack in the ceiling putting off the inevitable. She knew that she’d have to get someone in to fix it. She’d been saying that for the past three years. It hadn’t gotten any bigger so she’d deemed it not that important in the grand scheme of things.

The stillness of the house was cruely ended by the sound of her alarm clock going off.

An arm appeared out from under the duvet and hit the snooze button first time. Years of practice had made it second nature.

‘Five more minutes’, she muttered to herself but inside, she was cursing the fact that she’d forgotten to cancel the alarm the previous day.

For a few moments, the house returned to silence.

Then Vivienne heard the sounds of her dog, Betty coming up the stairs. The alarm was her signal that her mistress was about to get out of bed, give her some food and take her for her morning walkies.

Reluctantly, she got out of bed and let her dog into the room.

“Hello Betty. Pleased to see me then?”

Betty’s tail was thumping gently on the wooden floor and her lead was in her mouth. She was clearly saying ‘hang breakfast, it is time for walkies’ to her mistress.

“Soon, Betty, soon.”

The rhythmic thumping stopped and her face looked up at her mistress as if to say 'really? Do I have to wait? Again?"


A few minutes later, Vivienne sat down at her dressing table. She liked this piece of furniture. It had been the only item of furniture to survive a bomb in WW2. Back then it had been in a house near the Spitfire Factory in Southampton. Her Grandfather worked at the Docks and her Grandmother worked at the factory assembling undercarriages which luckily meant that no one was in the house at the time of the raid. For some reason the dressing table had survived. The blast hadn’t even broken the mirror which was looking a little worse for wear after all these years but Vivienne didn’t mind one little bit.

Vivienne looked at herself in the mirror and sighed as she surveyed the damage as she called it. Her hair was streaked with grey. It had been a long time since she’d had a style change let alone the application of some colour.

It seemed that the bags under her eyes were growing daily and there were more than a few lines or wrinklies as her mother had called them on her face.

“Could do with some work!” she said out loud as she began to apply some moisturiser.

Most days Vivienne wore little or no makeup but today was her Birthday and her two daughters had arranged a party even though Vivienne had specifically told them not to. That was them through and through. Part of her was dreading having to dress up and be paraded as the ‘birthday girl’ when she’d far rather be walking Betty on Hampstead Heath as was the norm for a Saturday. After a good walk, she'd meet up with a number of dog owners and have a coffee at the cafe before heading home for lunch. For a moment she wondered if any of them would miss her that day. Then she thought 'probably not'. London was that sort of place.

But… today was different. For a moment she cursed being sixty. Vivienne hated the thought of getting old.
She said to herself,
“After today, I will do things differently. I will not let myself vegetate like so many others who retire.”

Her words sounded all well and good but at that specific point in time, she had absolutely no idea what he was going to do with the rest of her life. Then the words of a song from her favourite films came into her mind, ' Que Sera Sera (whatever will be, will be) '. She smiled as the hummed the tune to that so simple song to herself as she brushed her long, long hair.


Once she’d gotten dressed and had half a cup of tea, Vivienne called Betty.

“Walkies Betty!”

Her trusty companion let out a small ‘yap’. Vivienne smiled when she realised that it was coming from the hallway. Betty was waiting for her, lead in mouth at the side of the front door.

With a smile on her face, Vivienne put on her coat and shoes and knelt down to take the lead from her pet.

Betty knew the rules of the game and didn’t let go of the lead at the first attempt.

“No lead means no Walkies!”

Betty let Vivienne take the lead from her mouth and clip it to her collar.

“Right my girl. Forty minutes then breakfast. Mama has a lot to do today.”

Her pet gave a small bark as the door opened. Betty tried to leap down to the steps but Vivienne held her back. This very same thing happened each and every time they went out the front door.


It was nearly an hour before Vivienne and Betty returned home. Betty had been somewhat reluctant to ‘do her business’. She had been more interested in chasing the other dogs than going to the toilet.

Vivienne pressed the button on the Coffee Percolator before even taking off her coat and walking boots. Betty’s prevarication over doing her ‘business’ had put her morning out of kilter. She was all behind and in sore need of some Coffee just to get the day back into some sort of focus.

While the Coffee was brewing, Vivienne fed Betty and sighed. She’d just remembered what lay ahead for her in just a few hours’ time.

Clouds of doom and gloom appeared in her mind. Now that she was retired she had time to do all those things she’d been promising herself that she’d do when this day came.

Over a large cup of what she called ‘Fully Leaded’ Coffee, Vivienne wondered what her darling daughters had in store for her that day. They’d been very circumspect about what they’d planned and exactly who or was that whom they’d invited. All that they say was that they were holding a party in her honour.

Vivienne knew one thing and that was none of her friends from the Wednesday night Bridge Club were going. He feelings of dread were interrupted by the arrival of the Post.

“Well Betty, lets’ go and see who has remembered what day this is?”

Betty padded along the hall after her mistress.

There were six envelopes lying on the mat. Vivienne sighed when she saw that only two were Birthday Cards. The rest were either bills or bank statements. She was rather old fashioned in that respect. She preferred paper statements that were properly filed so that when things went wrong as they invariably did, she had all the evidence to hand. Old habits and years collecting Taxes did that to you.

Vivienne sat down with the two birthday cards. The handwriting gave her no real clues.

She sniffed them in the hope of detecting a perfume but there was nothing their either.

“Oh well, nothing for it eh Betty?”

Betty let out a little yap at the sound of her name.

Vivienne tore open the Envelopes. The first was a generic cheap card shop card. She opened it and read the words.

“Happy Birthday Ms Carter. May your retirement be as unhappy as you made me with your investigations.”

Vivienne chuckled at the name on the bottom.
“George Bradbury, Resident of HMP Maidstone, for the next 12 months.”

George Bradbury had crossed her path three times in her working life. Each time, she had gained the upper hand in their battles. The last was when two years earlier, Mr Bradbury had been sent down for five years for particularly ingenious VAT carousel fraud.

She looked at the Envelope again. It had been sent to the HQ of the HMRC with the words ‘Please Forward’ on the bottom.

Vivienne poured herself another mug of Coffee and raised it to her former foe.
“Thank you George! Don’t count your chickens because my replacement knows all about your little scams.”

Then she picked up the second card and opened it.

“Thank you, Dennis.”

Then she looked down at Betty.
“Well, at least someone I know has remembered me.”

The card had read, “Well done Vivienne. You just bid and made 7NT redoubled with a lay down”. It had been from her Bridge Partner, Dennis Barnes. The league season had ended a few weeks before and they would not meet up again until September.

The simple act of receiving the card from her bridge partner had made Vivienne happy. Dennis was a very shy and private man. They’d been partners for almost four years yet she knew very little about him other than the fact that he now lived in Muswell Hill and had lost his wife to cancer about six years ago. They had clicked as partners almost immediately. His job as an actuary and hers with the HMRC meant that figures were their lives so card counting was second nature to them. They regularly challenged for the top spot in the local league rankings.

Vivienne sat back with a sigh. She looked at the clock. It was still early. The habit of getting up at six would take a while to overcome.
“All in good time, all in good time,” she muttered.

Betty let out an agreeing yelp.

“I know Betty. I know. We will have plenty of time together from now on.”

Vivienne knelt down and gave Betty a hug. Betty responded by licking her face.

Their moment of joy together was cruelly disturbed by the front door bell.

Betty dashed towards the door grabbing her lead on the way. To her, every time the door opened there was a chance that it was time for walkies. No matter how many times it ended up not being walkies she carried on hoping.

“No walkies now Betty. We have things to do,” said Vivienne as she grabbed hold of her pet.

With her free hand, she opened the door.

“Vivienne Carter?” said a man wearing a Delivery Company Uniform. Brown top and grey shorts.

“That’s me.”

“Sign here,” he said thrusting a tablet at her.

Vivienne squiggled a bad approximation of her signature with her index finger and took the box that the man offered her.

“Thanks,” she said but he was already halfway towards his equally Brown Delivery Van.

Vivienne grunted as she turned away from the road, a dog under one arm and a cardboard box under the other. She kicked the door closed with her heel.

“Ok Betty,” said Vivienne as she put her dog down.
“Who has sent me something on this auspicious day? What can it be eh? A magic wand that would make me forty years younger?”

Betty didn’t answer.

“Do I have a secret admirer?”
“What do you think it is Betty?”

Betty was more interested in the contents of her water bowl now that more walkies were not going to happen any time soon.

Vivienne found some scissors and cut the copious amounts of tape that had been used to seal the box.

With that done, she opened the box.

“Oh!” she exclaimed.

Someone had sent her something to wear. There was a note tucked into the garment. She opened it with some anticipation. As she read it, that disappeared in a flash.

“Mum,
We got this with you in mind to wear at the party.

Suzanne (and Janice)”

Vivienne looked at the bits of whatever they’d chosen for her with an increasing feeling of dread.

Slowly, she pulled back the tissue wrapping and saw a jacket. When she saw the size, she groaned. She was a size 8-10. The label on the jacket said 16. Then she saw the label on the inside.

“Really? They expect me to wear this? They have another thing coming.”

After putting down the Jacket, she pulled out the matching skirt. It was also a size 16. It was also long… very long and totally plain. She held it against her waist. The hem was looked to be about three inches off the floor. It was far too long for her but that was not the worst thing about the ‘suit’. That was the colour. It was Beige!

Vivienne hated Beige with a vengeance. So many tourists of her age and older that visited Central London wore that particular colour, that the rebel in her was determined not to follow suit.

The thing that annoyed her more than anything was that her daughters bless their non-cotton bio degradable socks, knew that fact very well. Then for them to think that she would willingly wear something costing a few pounds from a charity shop was well beyond the pale.

Vivienne took the suit upstairs and put it in one of the spare bedrooms and made a mental note to take it to a Charity Shop in a few days.

When she returned to her kitchen, Vivienne made herself another cup of Coffee. Betty was taking one of her regular ‘dog naps’. The arrival of the package from her daughters made her think that this brief moment of peace was merely the calm before the storm so she relaxed and tried to make the most of it.


Even though she was expecting her daughters to appear at some point that day, Vivienne was far from ready when they came for her.

That might sound a bit dramatic but given her deliberately slow start to the day and their obscenely early arrival, she was nowhere near ready for the day ahead.

There was so much still to do before she was ready to face the world at her Birthday Shindig but her family seemed to have other ideas on that front.

Vivienne’s two daughters plus all their children arrived at precisely five past nine with all their children in tow. That makes nine in total. Suzanne was driving their Matte Black Audi Q7 ‘Panzerwagen’. It was just large enough for her, her husband and their five offspring. I shuddered to think what they’d so when child number six arrived in four or so months.

Janice was with her two children, Kitty and Mort. Vivienne had asked herself many times what child in the 21st Century wants to be saddled with the name Kitty. Mort or short for Morten was an old name on her husbands’ side so she tended to forgive them for that.

She knew as soon as they arrived that all hope of escape was futile. She glanced at the clock. Five past frigging nine in the morning and the party wasn’t due to start until midday.

Betty had ran to the door lead in her mouth at the first sound of visitors. Vivienne followed close behind her and made sure that she didn’t escape as she was wants to do when lots of people arrived en-masse.

With Betty clipped to her lead, she opened the door.

Her visitors were as she expected, her daughters and grandchildren. In they marched with not so much as a ‘Hello Mum’ or even a ‘Happy Birthday’ from any of them. Plus, they walked all over her clean floor in their wet shoes. Their mothers herded the children straight into the front room. Within a few seconds, the sounds of the opening scene from ‘Frozen’ could be heard. Suzanne must have bought it on memory stick. Talk about coming prepared. Feelings of impending doom spread throughout her body.

For a moment, she was very tempted just to put her coat on and do an ‘exit stage left’ with Betty. Common sense prevailed as she was not dressed for going out, and her hair could do with seeing a brush but that didn’t matter. What mattered to her was that her handbag plus purse, car keys and phone inside was in the kitchen. Before she knew it, Suzanne was already at work in there busy making her brood something to eat.

Vivienne looked on in amazement and thought … ‘God woman, you only live the other side of Hampstead Heath and you have waited until now to give them breakfast!’.

Vivienne wandered into the kitchen. Janice was making tut-tut sounds as she peered into the fridge. For half a second, Vivienne thought that she’d joined her sister in going Vegan.

Then she chuckled. Both families drove cars with leather upholstery and it was clear that both of them were wearing designer leather boots and carried large bags that were clearly made of some form of animal hide.

“What are you looking for love?”

“No Bacon I see?”

“Your dear sister threw it out on Wednesday when she informed me of what will be happening today.”

“I left some Vegan Bacon in its place!” piped up Suzanne.

“Yeah you did and even Betty turned her nose up to it just like all that Vegan dog food you left behind after Christmas. It went in the bin as well.”

“It is good for you Mum.”

“Crap. According to you this apparently old and decrepit woman is beyond saving and needs to be put out of her misery or did I dream that I had to throw out numerous brochures for retirement villages and equity release?”

Vivienne didn’t wait for her daughters to respond. She grabbed her purse, keys and coat and headed for the front door.

Janice chased after her saying,
“Where are you going?”

Vivienne turned to her daughter with a smile on her face.

“Where? I think I’ll go and invade your house. I may make myself some lunch and sit around doing nothing for the rest of the day. Why? Don’t say that you object?”

Janice was speechless.

“You and your sister come here hours before my so called, party and proceed to take over my home. Not one of you wished me ‘Happy Birthday’ or even said ‘Hello Mum!’ or ‘Hello Gran’. That is rudeness at its highest degree.”

“Calm down Mum! We don’t want you ending up in Hospital again. Think of your blood pressure.”

Vivienne had been in Hospital almost nine years before with stress induced Angina and high Blood Pressure. The doctors had recommended she take some exercise. The appearance of Betty and their long walks together had seen her BP reduce as well as shedding all the weight she’d put in since she stopped being a teenager.

“My BP is perfectly normal thank you very much. I’m going out with Betty for a walk. I want all of you gone by the time I return understood. If you want to take me to this event you have planned then come back at midday and not a minute earlier. Do I make myself clear?”

Janice went red in the face.

“And you can clear up the kitchen before you go.”

Vivienne put on her coat and left her children to stew. Betty leapt down the steps eager at having another walk so early in the day.


Vivienne returned to her home just before 11:00. The place was empty and silent apart from the sound of Betty padding along the wooden floor of the hallway towards the kitchen. Vivienne followed.

She sighed when she saw the mess that had been left behind. That was really taking the piss in her eyes. This was supposed to be her special day and … Vivienne was mad enough to swear.
There was half eaten food everywhere but in the bin. Tomato Sauce was smeared all over the Fridge door, several of the drawers and there was a pile of something unmentionable on the flood. It wasn’t a pretty site.

“Fuck!”

After giving Betty some water and putting the kettle on for herself, she went upstairs in order to continue trying to decide what to wear for the afternoon. The disaster area that was the kitchen could wait for a bit.

Her level of anger grew when she saw what was lying on her bed. The beige two-piece suit. She’d left it in an adjoining room. Now it was on her bed. The message was clear. She should wear it for the party.

“Some birthday present that is,” she muttered to herself.
“I never liked C&A when they were in business and there is no way I’m going to wear that monstrosity even if it had fitted me!”

She heard Betty come bounding up the stairs. At least she had one friend in the world.

Vivienne sat on her bed and let Betty sit on her lap. As she stroked her canine companion, she remembered back to the time when she’d decided that getting a dog would help both her physical and mental fitness. She’d gone along to the Animal Shelter just to take a look. She’d also just broken up with last boyfriend, David. He was fun to be with but not the marrying kind. That was it as far as men and her were concerned. She’d turned to a dog and had not regretted it one little bit.

The visit to the rescue centre was pretty daunting for a first timer. There were so many dogs waiting to be rescued that it was hard to decide on any individual. They all seemed so cute and loveable. That was until she saw this small dog all on its own in a cage. For her it was love at first sight.

The staff had named the puppy ‘Betty’ after the TV Show ‘Ugly Betty’. It was the last of the litter and had one ear quite a bit longer than the other which for a supposedly pedigree Cocker Spaniel, was not good for owners wanting to breed from the puppies.

All the others in the litter had found a home but Betty had had been passed over and if she was not rescued very soon then she’d have to be put down. That immediately sold it to Vivienne. Betty came home with her that day and for the past nine years, she was there for her especially at times like this.

“What am I going to do Betty?” said Vivienne.
“What did I do to deserve children who have grown up so badly?”

Betty reached up and licked Vivienne face.

“I know you love me Betty. I’m sure that somewhere in their hearts my children feel the same but they really have a strange way of saying it.”

Vivienne looked at the clock. She’d have to decide on what to wear very soon or her daughters would be back and suggesting that she wore the 2-piece that she was at that moment sitting on.

With a sigh, she gently put Betty onto the floor and went in search of something to wear.

Vivienne’s wardrobe was depressing to look at. Just a few days before and she’d had no problem about selecting what to wear for work. Now… nothing was shouting out ‘wear me’. She mentally added ‘clear my wardrobe out’ to her list of things to do sooner rather than later list.

After some deliberation she made up her mind. Black Trousers with Black Shoes and a colourful printed silk shirt up top. The top would go well with her dark green jacket.

“Well Betty. It looks like I have something to wear for the afternoon. I’m going to have to leave you here I’m afraid but I’ll be back before dark and we can go out together. I’ve got the feeling that it won’t go well but short of leaving the country right now, I can’t get out of this thing that my darling daughters have lined up for me.”

Betty heard the word ‘out’ and her tail started thumping the floor.

“Later Betty, later.”


Janice arrived to collect her at a quarter to twelve. Vivienne was deliberately ‘not ready’. She taken a shower and was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper when Janice arrived. She’d tidied up the worst of the mess left behind by her visitors but the floor needed a proper clean.

Vivienne breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the front door. Her children, Kitty and Mort were not with her.

“Why aren’t you ready Mum?” was her immediate reaction when she saw her mother in her dressing gown and slippers.

“Didn’t I say not to return before Midday? What time is it now?”

Janice didn’t answer.

“While I go upstairs and get dressed, you can do the dishes. You and your sister made the mess so you can clear up. If you don’t do them, I’m not going. Got it?”

“Mum!”
“Why are you being like this?”

Vivienne smiled.
“If you don’t know then god help the both of you. As I said earlier, not one of you has said Happy Birthday and it is half over already. Then… that monstrosity from C&A… I’m never ever going to wear that. Not only is it several sizes too big for me, it is Beige! When was the last time you saw me wearing that colour eh?”

Janice seemed to have switched off.
“Don’t listen to me then.”

Then she stormed off upstairs closely followed by Betty.

When she returned at exactly twelve o’clock, Janice was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper. The dishes had not been touched.

“Didn’t I ask you to do the dishes?”

“Not with these nails I’m not. I only had them done yesterday.”

Vivienne looked at her daughters nails. Not only were they very long but seemed to have small stones embedded near the tips.

“We have been on at you for ages to get a dishwasher. It saves so much time.”

“Pah!” said Vivienne. She was not impressed.

Janice stood up and put her coat on.
“It is time we were going.”

“You can go. I’ll follow in my car.”

“But Mum! That means you can’t have a drink? It is your birthday after all?”

“And I’ll decide if I want to have a drink or not. As I clearly told you and your sister many, many times that I didn’t want a party but neither of you listened did you. I’m only going to go because no matter what, you are both my daughters.”

With that, Vivienne put on her coat and grabbed her purse and car keys. Janice meekly followed. Her daughter knew that it was not going to turn out well if she pursued this much more so she shut up and let her Mother lock up the house behind them.

[to be continued]
[Authors note]
The inspiration for this story came from an exercise we were given during a Creative Writing Weekend at West Dean (https://www.westdean.org.uk) College in January 2020. The task was to create a character. I realised that I’d never written about someone who is retired. Vivienne was the result. This is by far the longest story I’ve ever written and one of the most enjoyable. In all, the first draft took me less than five weeks.
A word of warning. This story is not about a Transgendered person or person although one who will be familiar to my readers makes several appearances as the story unfolds.



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