Summer With Em - Chapter 35

By Julie D Cole

We giggled for a while before Frankie reluctantly decided that we should get up and go to work. I knew she had a very responsible management job and I shouldn’t distract her or encourage her to set a bad example to her staff. I also wanted to be respectful to Bec’s since she had been so kind to me and I enjoyed the job I was doing.

After a quick shower together we wrapped ourselves in large fluffy towels fresh from the laundry and dried ourselves and brushed our hair. I took the opportunity to examine myself whilst Frankie was selecting her outfit for the office and examined my sack that was hanging loose below my apology of an appendage that was becoming an embarrassment to me. Without it I’d be free to enter female changing rooms in shops and department stores without fear of arrest. I selected a pair of panties that would hold it tight against my tummy with minimum show.

I quickly dressed in the work outfit I had set aside for my day of reception duties that I preferred to the more casual outfits we were allocated for general duties and assisting in the exercise rooms or pool areas. We had skirt or trouser options and since I was meeting mum during my lunch break I deliberately selected the skirt. I needed her to accept that I was not going back to life as ‘her boy’ so I had decided it was best if I left all traces of him behind in London . As far as I was concerned I wasn’t going to allow him to exist in Manchester. The boy clothes I’d brought with me were still in Ems apartment and they probably didn’t fit very well anyway. They could go to a charity shop as far as I was concerned.

Frankie did a little whistle as I entered the breakfast area and was kind enough to tell me how cute I looked as I sat on a bar stool and crossed my legs to join her for coffee and toast. She liked me in the skirt but suggested I wore heels rather than the flats I had selected because I’d be on my feet most of the day. She suggested to get used to wearing them and to take the flats to change into from time to time during the day.

I welcomed her suggestion and so I went back to my wardrobe and selected the more comfortable pair out of my range of two pairs. They were black so they matched with the black skirt. The heel was high enough to raise my height slightly above mum even if she was wearing heels. I needed to let her know I was ‘her girl’ now and an adult capable of making my own decisions and no longer a child.

As we were about to leave Frankie stopped me and said that she wanted to offer to help me as much as possible. She suggested that I move quickly to make an appointment with an expert to avoid any risk of serious health issues later. She mentioned the ‘C’ word that focused my attention. She suggested I consider a private consultation with an expert in orchiectomy rather than wait for an appointment through the National Health. I’d no idea what this meant so she suggested I look it up on my i-phone and then discuss this with mum.

I told her that neither mum or I had spare cash for private consultations so it was difficult. She squeezed my hand and said she’d meant that was happy to provide the funds and also that she’d go with me if I wished. She said that I needed to establish if I was at risk by doing nothing since mum had told me that my testes had been removed as a youngster and there had been no follow up.

I needed a tissue because I didn’t feel I deserved such kindness and we hugged for a few minutes until I recovered my composure. I thanked her and said if I did it then I’d pay her back as soon as possible. She said it wasn’t necessary and that we should chat later because she could find someone and also recommend a private hospital.

I stared out of the windscreen into space for most of the journey to work trying to understand all that had been happening to my body and what was happening to me in my life. I liked this new image that Em had helped me create and the opportunities that seemed to come with it. It felt right. Also as a result of the change I’d found someone who accepted me and loved me and I hoped it would last. I felt I had to consider making my appearance even more feminine if only to keep her interest in me.

My dilemma now was that I didn’t want to upset and fall out with mum who had done her best to raise me and encourage me to be kind and polite. I had no idea what dad would have thought about me becoming his daughter and I was too young to remember much about him when he left us. He must have been unhappy. I wished he had stayed and worked things out with mum and life would have been easier for her and maybe I’d lacked male influence growing up. On the upside probably none of this would have happened and I’d never have met Frankie if dad had been around.

Frankie asked if I was ok and I just nodded and bit my lip. She smiled at me then focused on the morning traffic so I stared out of the window again. I knew that Em had become more like a sister than my aunt and she liked me as a girl even though she’d tried to support mum. She’d made her own difficult decision in no longer hiding her relationship with Bec’s facing prejudices at her workplace and risking an aggressive attack from Bec’s husband.

It was clear that they were extremely close and happy and that both preferred the company of women rather than men. Males were not part of their lives going forward. I didn’t think Em had had a serious relationship apart from with Becs. Was that why they had encouraged me? I wasn’t sure but it didn’t matter anyway since they’d done me a favour.

Now I was sure this was the life I wanted and determined to carry on even if things didn’t work out with Frankie. I hoped she would accept me whatever I finally decided and hoped that male puberty wouldn’t kick in. I needed to stop it and much depended on mum having a change of heart.

Frankie learned over and kissed me as she dropped me off and she wished me good luck. I thanked her for her support and told her that I didn’t want to fall out permanently with mum but I’d made my decision. Whether or not my decision to seriously consider Frankie’s suggestion to have sex reassignment surgery would go down well was another matter altogether.

The morning at work passed quickly and Frankie called around break time to tell me she’d contacted a Private Healthcare hospital in South Manchester and set up an account so I could call to make an appointment. I decided to call during my afternoon break after I’d met mum.

Not long afterwards mum called to say she would arrive about noon. She seemed to be pleasant with no sign of a lecture for me. I decided we should just have a snack for lunch in a quiet corner of the cafeteria. We would have some privacy and we would give us a full hour to talk so I arranged some cover on reception just in case our chat dragged on.

When she arrived I signed off. It was very awkward for me at first and I was expecting a cool reception but I had nothing to worry about because my mum hugged me and immediately apologized for what she’d said the evening before and for upsetting me so much I’d left. What a relief.

She looked me up and down and told me that I looked especially nice and very feminine in the heels that worked with the skirt showing off my shapely calves. She asked where I’d bought them and if I went shopping alone because she’d be happy to go with me sometime.

The change in mood music surprised me and all the points I had planned to blurt out were now irrelevant. After I’d left Em’s place she’d had a long chat with Bec’s and Em over a bottle of wine and they had calmed her down. She had been devastated by the comments by Doctor Carter blaming herself for not continuing my hospital checks after I’d had my testes removed. She felt it was a consequence of her smoking during her pregnancy and taking drugs in her teenage years that caused my premature birth. I was diagnosed with undescended testicles. They’d been located and repositioned when I was about 6 months old and were still in place at 4 years of age but they kept slipping back.

Finally at the age of 9 she’d agreed that they should be removed. That was done at a main hospital and I recovered quickly so mum assumed that everything was solved. It was around that time that her marriage problems started so she was very upset and heavily distracted.

‘So you blamed yourself but why? There is nothing you could do about it and so I don’t feel any anger or bitterness. You looked after me and it must have been difficult without dad around. I had some bullying at school but lots of other boys did too. I survived and now I feel alive and I am having fun. I am probably as happy as anybody who I went to school with since now I have friends at work and through Em and lucky me now I have a girlfriend. Who could have imagined that a few months ago.’

‘Yes Kim I’ve seen the change in you. It’s quite remarkable. You look healthier and happier than I’ve ever seen you look since you were an infant but I still regret not following up with hospital appointments. You were a beautiful child so I’m not surprised that you make a pretty young woman.’

‘Mum I’ve inherited my looks from you and dad. It’s amazing what make-up can do and boys don’t get that chance.’

‘Kim I’m sorry I got angry with you last night and I hope we can forget it. But I still think it would be better if we returned to London together to see our own doctor for his opinion. He can a specialist consultation at our local hospital and you’ll be close to home if you need any surgery.’

‘Mum I don’t want to go home I want to stay here where I have a job, friends and a girlfriend. I’ve not played computer games for ages and I’ve had a social life. Frankie and I had a long talk and she has recommended a private consultation at a Healthcare hospital that isn’t far away. She offered to pay the costs to speed up the process.’

‘Kim there is no way you can accept that. It’s our problem and it’s nice of Frankie to offer but either I use some of my savings or I ask your dad to contribute. He can afford it.’

‘Mum I’m not hanging around and there is another reason for staying up here and letting Frankie help that we’ve discussed together. I want to ask if I can have some reconstruction work since I don’t have any use for this thing between my legs.’
‘Kim no please you mustn’t. Just because you had your testes removed is no reason to take such a risk. It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face.’

‘Mum there are lots of people who’ve had this surgery with total success. They can even experience full sexual arousal and climax. It’s almost impossible at the moment.’

‘Kim you’ll be with a woman not a man if you carry on with Frankie. So what’s the point?’

‘Mum please don’t. Just ask Em.’

Finally mum gave in and said she’d fully support whatever decision I took as much as it troubled her. She said if it made me happy and I took care to find the best advice and support she’d be relieved. She wanted dad to meet me and have a talk face to face and would ask him to fly to Manchester as soon as he could.

I wanted to jump up and cheer and dance with mum around the table. We hugged and tears ran down our cheeks that brought a few strange looks from other customers in the café. I couldn’t wait to call Frankie.