Summer With Em Chapter 36

By Julie D Cole

I arranged for mum to have a de-stressing massage since the salon wasn’t busy and my lunch break was up and I needed to get back to my reception duties. I didn’t really have time to call Frankie so as soon as I got chance I sent a quick WhatsApp message with several emojis for thumbs up and I added a few smiley faces and my usual kissy lips. I promised I’d call asap during my afternoon break. It was such a relief that mum was calm and reasonable.

Sarah who was sharing reception duties noticed the difference in my mood and asked if everything was OK because I’d been very quiet all morning. I thanked her for asking and told her that mum had wanted me to resign and go back to London with her because she thought I was likely to stay in the North and she thought I was getting too involved with Frankie.

‘Is she worried that you are in a relationship with someone older? Is she so out of touch?’

‘Partly but she doesn’t like the fact that Frankie is a woman. She can’t really complain because her sister is……’

I suddenly stopped realizing I almost dropped Bec’s right in it and as far as I knew everyone thought she was still living at home with muscle man.’

‘Her sister is what?’

‘Oh sorry I shouldn’t say anymore. I shouldn’t gossip about family and I was telling you this in confidence as a friend.’

‘Go on I won’t say anything to anybody. Anyway nobody knows your mum or her sister so it’s not exactly interesting gossip to anybody is it?’

‘No it’s not. It’s just that she came out as lesbian when she was at university and was in a relationship. She never had boyfriends like mum.’

‘Well so what? There were several girls here in the past who preferred other girls. Most were young and never hid it. Now not so many around. But interesting in case you don’t know. The boss swings both ways.’

‘How do you know that. She is happily married.’

‘Was married more like. It seems they split a while ago. One of the weight training guys upstairs met her husband at a competition and he told him. He said that she regretted getting married and the sex side was none-existent. She had met an old girlfriend and she wanted some space.’

‘So that happens every day. People split for all sorts of reasons. Some just go back home.’

‘Well some of us chatted about it today in the locker room. Erica has been in earshot a few times near the office and overheard a few personal calls. She was sure she was having an affair and it was a girlfriend not another man. So just put two and two together. Simple prefers women rather than hunks.’

‘Well lots of men and women lose their libido especially muscle men so it could be as simple as that. We should respect their privacy. We shouldn’t draw conclusions about Bec’s. It’s none of our business. She has been very kind and supportive to me.’

‘Yes we know. She almost got the sack for not reporting that you were allowed into female changing areas and bathrooms. You are really a boy aren’t you? A boy who dresses like a girl. She told us that you are transgender. Is it true? Have you had it cut off?’

‘No. I’m not hiding anything. It came out in my interview. I’m not trying to deceive anybody. I’m more comfortable as a girl and I’m having some tests to determine why I’m more female than male.’

‘Does that mean you are intersex? Do you have boy bits and girl bits? Cool. You can tell us what it’s like to give as well as receive pleasure.’

‘Sarah please slow down. I don’t think I’m intersex but I don’t know enough about it yet. I need to have some tests. I just have breasts and possibly some bits missing that should be on display at my age. At least on display to me’

‘How strange. It sounds weird to me.’

‘I’ve been discussing this in privacy with mum who is concerned so please don’t discuss this with others especially those who like to spread gossip. It’s a medical condition and it’s very personal.’

That at least shut her up but after that tirade I just burst into tears I couldn’t help it. I needed some space and so I went into the back office for a few moments to calm down. Why were people jumping to conclusions and getting so much satisfaction out of spreading rumors? First about Bec’s and now about me.

Once I’d calmed and dried the tears I saw that there was a queue forming so I went back out onto reception. Sarah whispered that she was sorry and hoped she could be forgiven. I nodded and said nothing and we carried on without much further interchange until the queue was cleared. I couldn’t leave it as it was.

‘Look Sarah I have boy bits and girl bits that need sorting out. I’m not intersex or anything. It’s just that I should have had some treatment when I was young. If that had been done then I’d have probably developed differently and more fully by now.’

‘Well at least there is an upside for now at least you are safer than the rest of us here.’

‘What do you mean I almost got the sack if Bec’s hadn’t stood up for me.’

‘No I didn’t mean that. What I mean is that until you get sorted you don’t have to fear she might touch you up and take a fancy to you.’

I couldn’t believe my ears. What an awful thing to say about Bec’s just because she was happier in a relationship with another woman rather than her husband. Sarah was going to be right off my Christmas Card List. I had to bite my tongue before I said something I might regret later. She tried to make out it was a joke.

I was so taken aback and uncomfortable that I kept a distance from her as much as possible for the rest of the afternoon. At least she would be on her days off for the next two days. I was going to ask if we could be split up for a while.

I had enough on my mind as it was and refocused. At least my chat with mum had gone better than I expected. I realized that I needed her support and her co-operation even though I was classed as adult now. I didn’t expect her to be happy about the changes I was going through but I wasn’t resentful or angry. If I wanted to do as Frankie had suggested and remove the appendage that wasn’t serving much purpose it was my decision. I was now 19 years old going on 20.

I felt that it might be easier to sort things out with Frankie in support now mume had decided to go back to London. At least she was calm without any guilt about the past. Mum and I could chat over the phone.She needed to go back to work and told me that she wanted to save some vacation so she could come back to Manchester for any critical appointments I might have.

I was a little worried she might pressurize me again later since she had insisted that she would contact dad. I couldn’t understand why since they hardly spoke. She might be trying to get him to talk some sense into me. I’d not seen him for years and I had no idea how to talk to him. He might not even care.

As I calmed and thought things through I concluded that I would need to go back to London in the near future. Mum had my birth certificate and passport as well as other documents including all my school records and my savings account details. They were all locked away in her safe in a cupboard under the stairs. I might also need to see my doctor at home so that my medical records could be released quickly and avoid any delay.

I realized that I would like to open up my desktop computer that was in my bedroom and if I had sufficient time I would download everything to my laptop. I needed to clean it completely since I didn’t need it and then it could be destroyed. It contained a lot of photos of me and some when I was growing up that I’d scanned from prints. The rest of my old photos were in a shoebox along with photos of mum and dad and my grand-parents in happier times. I knew that there were some photos of Em as well as a teenager and mum had said that we looked alike. I wanted to see for myself.

When I called Frankie she was delighted that I’d had a good chat with mum. She was happy that things had calmed down and then told me that she had some news of her own. Her mum was on the way to Manchester and she would be staying overnight with us since she was visiting her father who was being released from hospital the following day. She was going to move in with him for a while until he recovered.

I was pleased and hoped everything continued to go well for her grandfather and her mum would be happier staying with him. Better than traveling by car every day. At least she had that worry out of the way.

Then I told her what mum had admitted that I’d had my testes removed when I was 9 years old and that she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. It had never been explained to me and no wonder I had to change in as much privacy as possible at school. Boys were cruel if you looked different and some of them liked to show off. Especially as they sprouted pubic hair.

Now I knew why there was just loose skin and Frankie said it was no wonder I hadn’t gone through puberty and that I had feminine features. She said it might mean we needed an alternative consultant and we certainly needed my medical records. She suggested I explain this when I called the Medical Centre and not to feel embarrassed.

When I told her mum was going back to London and was intending to contact my father to ask him to come to Manchester and talk to me she wasn’t concerned at all. She thought it was a good idea for him to see me and see how happy I was and what a beautiful daughter he had.

‘But I haven’t seen him for years and he hardly ever was in contact apart from gift and cards.’

‘Kimmie if you decide to go ahead with a reconstruction operation the path is easier if both parents support your decision. I went through that with Steph and her parent were opposed that resulted in Steph feeling she had no future. Sadly I couldn’t get to her to explain to be patient. Tragically this family misunderstanding led to her suicide. You need to let your father see you and understand how you feel. This operation may just be a consequence but on the other hand it is just as likely that as Lady Gaga sang you were born this way.’

‘So do you think I should contact him myself?’

‘Of course you should. I already told you I’d be happy to go to meet him in Italy with you. Wouldn’t that be nice?’

‘ Yes but I realized after chatting to mum that my passport is at home. It shows me as a boy so I would have to dress in my boy clothes or risk being stopped and questioned. That would be embarrassing.’

‘So if it makes it easier for you then let him come to Manchester but we can deal with it either way. We could travel in androgynous style with both dressed the same way. Boy/girl style as if we are in the fashion industry. Would that make it easier?’

‘I suppose so and I’d love to go to Italy rather than him come here. I suppose I could offer to go to Italy when he calls.’

‘Yes let’s talk about it later.’

‘Frankie we aren’t going to get the chance to chat together with your mum staying.’

‘Don’t worry she’ll be at the hospital until around 7 pm and she’s probably at granddads place now ensuring his cleaning lady has the place ready and some supplies in.’

‘I think I should at least meet mum and Em this evening for dinner. Is that a problem.’

‘How about we have dinner together and mum joins so they all meet. We need to do that eventually anyway.’

‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’

‘Yes definitely. Let’s strike whilst we can so everybody understands we are planning to stay together and no point to try to stop us. We don’t need to discuss your intentions for surgery. That is sometime in the future after your examinations and consultations. It shouldn’t be a surprise to anybody. They only have to look at you to see the girl I see.’

‘Frankie you see things so clearly and positively. I hope that some of it will rub off on me. I will send a message to mum and Em then call the medical centre from the office when Sarah comes back on reception. Thanks so much I know I’m a bit pathetic sometimes but I wasn’t like this before. ’

‘Kimmie you’re not pathetic it’s just a natural reaction after the changes you’ve been going through in your life and we all need someone to talk to at times.’

‘Well thanks anyway because you’ve been so kind to me ever since we met and I really like to be with you. I was all alone before I came to Manchester and now I’ve got you, Em and Bec’s as special friends. You are all a bit older and wiser than me but you treat me as one of the girls.’

‘That’s because you are rather special.’

We ended the call because a queue was forming again as several more classes were coming up. I caught a glimpse of Bec’s as she left her office to go upstairs for something and she smiled and waved. I was lucky to have a boss like her who didn’t seem have any prejudices and she’d accepted me as who I was from day one. I hoped to catch her attention when she returned to her office so I could ask if she had any plans for the evening.

Frankie sent me a message to say her mum was delighted to have dinner with us and she was pleased to get chance to meet my mum. She had insisted to Frankie that we choose a venue and she would pay to celebrate our engagement.

I was shocked for a few minutes until I got a follow up text to say it was really a thank you for my prompt action to save her fathers life. Frankie was just teasing. What a relief. I had a ring but we hadn’t discussed marriage and I’d only just calmed mum down.

She said she’d book somewhere for 8pm if I sorted out if everybody was available. She fancied going to Chinatown since her mum liked the atmosphere and she thought it would be good to have a round table that made it easier for everybody to chat. I knew mum would be pleased and I’d heard it was a great place to visit. We didn’t need to worry about dress codes either if it was short notice.

I managed to contact Em, Bec’s and mum and they all seemed pleased to get chance to meet Frankies mum and especially to go to Chinatown. I called Frankie back who was with her mum at her grandfathers apartment and she offered to pick me up so I could quickly change at her place. It was a nice evening so I wanted to change out of my black skirt and wear something lighter.

It didn’t seem long before I was signing out and getting into Frankies car and her mum was at the apartment getting ready. She hugged me as we entered and asked if everything was alright with mum and told me she was looking forward to meeting her. She had opened a bottle of white wine to calm her nerves after rushing around and insisted Frankie and I join her.

We were going to Chinatown by taxi at 7-30pm so we had time to sit on the balcony in the sunshine. It seemed weird that I was in a skirt yet they were both in trousers and moreso that Frankies mum accepted me as a girl.

I excused myself to freshen up and changed into a pair of denim shorts and sneakers with a light top. Frankie stayed dressed as she was in trousers and shirt but she always looked smart. Her outfit was designer label so never looked creased or untidy. I asked if I looked OK and she just smiled and nodded.

Her mum told us that everything was organised for the following day to collect her father. A care worker was set to stay for a week and Frankie and her mum were going to collect him in his Range Rover car late morning. I was invited to join them but I declined as politely as I could. Of course with Sarah on leave it was easier.

Our taxi soon arrived to collect us and we were seated by the time Em, Bec’s and mum arrived. Mum and Frankies mum were both very polite and chatted immediately so they sat together. Em and Becs were the other side and happily that meant Frankie and I e\were sitting together. She held my hand under the table as she helped the conversation along and passed over to her mum who gave a small speech praising my actions and expressing her gratitude. I blushed of course.

It was a very enjoyable evening and the conversation never stopped. We had far too much food served as much as we all tried our best. For me I felt I now was at ease in company and Frankie teased me and told me I never stopped chatting. There was no mention of my forthcoming medical checks and it was nice to see Em and Bec’s looking so happy together.

Just before we booked our taxis Frankie decided to make an announcement that came completely out of the blue.