Summer With Em - Chapter 21

By Julie D Cole

Our dinner snack was uneventful with fairly meaningless chatter most of the time to allow Bec’s to calm down without any need for further explanation. She was clearly Em’s girlfriend and my boss at the same time. Right now she seemed vulnerable rather than the assured and confident Manager who had interviewed me.

Frankie kept the conversation light and I did my best to switch subjects if anything was in danger of raising suspicion about my real gender. I was scared to admit to myself that I felt more comfortable like this because I knew I’d have to go back to being the boy who lived in London at the end of the summer and finish my education like that. My college and the students were unlikely to accept the new girl. All I could think of was complications if I even tried.

At least here I felt I could be Kimmie and work and play like this and enjoy every moment. As long as I didn’t get too attached to Frankie or anybody else and I lived within my budget. There was so much I wanted to do based on my experience so far since arriving. I tried to avoid the beautiful blue eyes and the deliberate eye contact glances coming from Frankie but it was so hard. She touched my hand from time to time to ensure that I looked at her and finally held on. Em noticed but just smiled.

I felt comfortable and relaxed and my nervousness subsided as the conversations and chatter increased back to normal levels. Bec’s seemed to recover herself and talked about some of the tasks she might give me as I settled in to my job and said that I had to be prepared to cover for ‘the other girls’ when things switched around or got changed as shift patterns changed.

Frankie chipped in ‘As long as she isn’t every body’s dogs body especially the guys. Remember she is an equal and she ought to be given some sort of training programme with chance of a certificate and credits that she can use when she’s in the job market.’

‘Yes I’ve already discussed that so it’s up to you Kim to make the best chance of this opportunity.’

‘Thanks Bec’s and thanks to each of you for being so nice to me.’

Em suggested I go call mum on either Skype or WhatsApp since she’d love to know that I had settled in OK and what I’d been up to. It was a great idea but I needed the privacy of my room to remove my make-up and cover my breasts with something more appropriate for her son.

Frankie took that as a signal to leave and offered to settle the bill before she left. She’d already been more than generous but she flatly refused any contributions. I’d not spent anything all day but she was most insistent. I walked with her to the lift to the car park and thanked her for a wonderful time. She pressed the button to the lift and at that moment it was just like she’d pressed my button. We just kissed.

The doors opened and she turned and smiled ‘Later My Love, call me later after you’ve spoken to your mum.’

I walked slowly back to the table to join Em and Bec’s who had ordered a brandy as a nightcap to calm Bec’s I suppose. I opted to stick to water after a day out in the sunshine.

Before long the two of them were showing no more signs of sadness or the stress that Bec’s had endured and there were even bouts of giggling. We chatted about my afternoon trip to Darley Dale and it was an opportunity for me to ask more about the relationship between Frankie and Steph. I learned that Frankie had freaked out when she’d received a text message of goodbye from Steph and frantically tried to make contact but Steph’s phone was switched off. She didn’t have any home telephone number so she’d jumped in the car and headed to the farm as fast as she could. She was pulled over by the police en-route for speeding and they then escorted her at high speed the rest of the way.

They were too late and it Steph’s father had already found the body and cut him/her loose. The mother was screaming and beating Steph’s father who she blamed for pushing Steph to the limit and dismissing his attempts to explain that he was born in the wrong body. One of the policemen held Frankie back whilst the other tried to breathe life into Steph. There was no chance and by the time an ambulance arrived it was just a formality.

There was an inquest that recorded the death by misadventure followed by the funeral a week later. Frankie was so angry she wanted to buy a shotgun to blow of the fathers head and it took weeks for her to recover her composure and get back to some sort of routine again. Her hatred for men went up several notches.

Somehow the death was kept low profile in the area and in the local rag or on local news. For 3 months Frankie was driving up to the farm intent on confronting Stephs dad and doing him some damage until she had a warning from the police.

I asked if Frankie and Steph had an intimate relationship because there was quite an age gap and Steph considered himself transgender. Frankie had helped him through his transition and admitted that they’d been intimate without any likliehood of penetration. Frankie had often boasted that no man would ever penetrate her and she preferred to take the initiative and adopt the lead role. She’d had several casual relationships before Steph appeared on the scene but all were women and none lasted long.

Finally I plucked up the courage. ‘Does she know about me?’

Em responded ‘We’ve never said anything and she hasn’t asked us anyway. Why would she?’

‘Have you set this up Em? Please tell me. I didn’t arrive like this and I fear she might have guessed. She was talking about looking at your photo albums because she didn’t recall mum having a daughter.’

‘She’s not stupid but also I think you can be open with her if the situation arises again. She likes you a lot.’

‘Yes but she’s offered me the chance to stay with her to give you two some space. How can I. I’m a boy and I’m just having fun. I’m not transgender.’

‘Really?’

‘No I’m not I’m just enjoying myself dressing like this for a while. I only let you two and your friends see me like this because you don’t judge me. If I went to college like this I’d be beaten up.’

‘Look just go with the flow and take your time. Around here in Manchester you’re not considered a freak or out of the ordinary. You’ll meet lots of people who dress and behave as they like even down at the sports centre.’

‘but I’ve not seen anybody.’

‘How do you know? Some of the girls who attend yoga class were born boys. Two of the body-builders were born women.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

I looked at my watch because I wanted to call mum before it got too late. My mind was all over the place. I turned back as I left to go upstairs to the apartment. ‘Does mum know?’

‘Why don’t you ask her. If it makes you feel better of course. ’

‘But she’ll go crazy if she thinks I’ve been dressed like this and especially in public.’

‘She’s seen you before in school plays.’

‘Yes but I had no choice I was picked out and told to do it.’

‘Yes but you were a natural. Sis couldn’t wait to call me and tell me.’

‘That’s just it I never lived it down at school. I was bullied a lot after that and my friends were scared to hang around with me so dropped me. I made the mistake of complaing and matters just got worse.’

‘Well you’ve left all that behind. You’re an adult now.’

It gave me little choice and I thought sooner the better to get it over and done with. It took a few minutes of chat before I plucked up the courage to tell mum that I wanted to show her something and to switch to video mode on her phone. She looked nice and she’d had her hair styled so I complemented her.

Then she asked if something was troubling me and why I was just in call mode. Eventually I told her I’d been experimenting with my look so I blended in.

‘Kim you look nice. Is that really you? Are you wearing make-up? Let me have a closer look please.’

‘Yes mum. I have been playing around with Aunt Em who offered to dress me up and make-up my face. She said I’d look nice as a girl. I liked how I looked. It made me feel better.’

‘Come on don’t be shy. Oh you look like Em did when she first stared wearing make-up. She is right you are very pretty. I wish I could see you properly rather than on my phone. Maybe you should do it again sometime and we could Skype so I can see you on my laptop.’

‘Mum please. Doesn’t it worry you? Do you mind.’

‘Why should it worry me? Whatever makes you happy my love. It’s not unusual for men to get in touch with their feminine side.’

‘Yes but I thought you’d be angry.’

‘Kim I’m not angry. You’ve got such a sweet and kind nature. Is it something you like doing?’

‘Well in fact mum I’ve been out and about wearing make-up and I seemed to be completely accepted as a girl. It was weird at first because nobody batted an eyelid.’

‘Kim don’t worry about it sweetheart. As long as you were with Em and she was watching out for you. I wouldn’t want you to get into bad company or put yourself at risk. I don’t know what it’s like up there. You were safe weren’t you?’

‘Yes mum I was safe and Em was careful not to let me out of her sight. Mum we had such a great time. I met her friends and we went out together.’

‘What dressed as a girl or just wearing make-up.’

‘Dressed as a girl.’

‘Wow a big step. I’ll have to have a chat with Em. Were boys involved?’

‘No mum I wouldn’t have liked that. I wouldn’t have been comfortable. You know what it was like at school. Boys either just laugh and take the mickey or they get aggressive and bully you.’

‘So was this today?’

‘No mum it was after I first arrived. I went shopping with Em and we met some of her girlfriends. Also her best friend is the person who gave me the job. It was Bec’s. Rebecca Walker. Have you met her?’

‘No I’ve not met her but we have spoken. She’s been good friends with Em for a long time. I think Em was her chief bridesmaid when she got married.’

‘Yes that’s her she is great.’

So she’s employed you and she didn’t mind that you were out dressed as a girl?’

‘No she was impressed and she says it’s ok to dress like this at work.’

‘Wow Kim. Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?’

‘No mum but it feels right and it’s like being a new person.’

‘Oh Kim I’m pleased you are enjoying yourself up there. I was really worried about you here at home. You locked yourself away and you seemed so unhappy and I feared you were spiraling downwards into depression.’

‘Well I was getting pretty desperate. I have no friends at home and things didn’t feel right. It’s like a like has been switched on. Maybe being here where nobody knows me I can do things without the risk of bumping into bullies or stupid people who picked on me.’

‘Kim I’m so relieved. I really feared you might do something stupid one day the way things were going. It was Em’s idea to send you to her so she could get to know you and let you meet others without risk of being attacked. I owe her big time.’

‘Yes mum but I’ve so much I want to tell you. So much as happened in such a short time.’

‘All in good time dear there is no rush. I can hardly wait to see you. I’m going to try to visit for a couple of days if I can arrange it. I’d love to catch up with Em as well. Would you like that sweetheart?’

‘I guess so mum. But prepare yourself for a shock. Or even two or three.’

‘How so?’

‘Mum I’ve got boobs. They’ve appeared from nowhere and Em took me to be fitted for a bra. Mum I’m almost the same size as Em. What’s wrong with me?’

‘Nothings wrong Kim. Your father had boobies it must be generic. Do they hurt? Have you seen a doctor to check them out.’

‘No mum I’m nly just getting used to them sticking out and being part of me. Mum they are a bit sensitive. It’s nice and they feel natural. I couldn’t face anybody at home if they saw them. I’d have to hide them or I’d be dead meat.’

‘Oh Kim I’m coming up sooner rather than later. Promise you won’t do anything stupid. I’ll come this week.’

‘No need mum I’m happy so just check with Em if you like. She has some great friends. They’ve been really nice. Mum one girl is really nice. I’ve been out with her today. She has been so kind. I like her a lot.’

‘Kim is that really you. Things are going so fast so I’m relieved. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight I’m so excited for you.’

‘Mum I’ve never been happier. I didn’t ever dare dream there would be someone out there who I would like and get to know’

‘Kim does she know who you really are?’

‘Well I haven’t told her and it bothers me. Em says she hasn’t told her.’

‘Kim be careful she might not like you to be secretive. Is it platonic?’

‘No mum it’s more than that and I think she might have guessed. I’m going to have to tell her soon but I just felt you needed to know everything first and to ensure you were Ok about it.’

‘Kim I’d much rather have a happy daughter than a son who locks himself away and ends up doing something stupid.’

‘Thanks so much and I’m so sorry.’

‘Oh Kim there is nothing for you to be sorry about. I love you so much and I’m so glad you’ve found some peace. I want you to enjoy life and do the things we all get chance to do.’

‘Mum. Mum’

‘Are you crying?’

‘Yes it not what boys do is it.’

‘Kim you cry tears of joy and promise me one thing please.’

‘Yes Anything mum.’

‘Just clean off that make-up because it’s streaking. You need to use waterproof mascara if we are going to chat like this more often.’

That was such a relief. Mum made all the feelings of guilt disappear. I should have rung her earlier.