‘I washed the man right out of my hair’

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A story inspired by Melanie E
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Well I have to admit I’ve been stuck in a rut these last few years ever since I fell out with my long time girlfriend Fiona who was getting fed up with my irritating habits. These were unfortunately associated with a personality disorder that I’ve had as long as I can remember. Fiona and I grew up together so it wasn’t a sexual attraction. We just got along quite well. That was my style since I was quiet and shy but irritable as well.

I guess since those days I’ve got worse and I am often quite abrupt and a bit snappy around people. I also have an obsession with cleanliness and I like everything to be in its place. In a bathroom I can’t even use the same soap or towel as anyone else.

I don’t like to use cutlery in restaurants and opt to use my own plastic ones. I like to take breakfast at the same small restaurant every day before I go to work and I’ll only be served by the same waitress because she’s the only one who understands that I don’t mean to be rude to people. It’s irritating sometimes but I have tried to have treatment and still have regular consultations. Progress has been minimal until something happened.

Back to the friendly waitress who had arrived about 6 months earlier about the same time as Mike who was the manager seemed to disappear. I didn’t miss him. The waitress I liked is called Melanie E according to the tag on her blouse.

She’s a well stacked girl with blond hair that she ties back when working. I do like her with a ponytail and I guess her hair must fall down over her shoulders when untied. I presume the E is to distinguish her from some other girl called Melanie.

There and there can’t be more than 6 waitresses working in the breakfast part of the restaurant and Melanie E is definitely the most attractive even I think she is probably a little older than some of the others. She is very quiet and polite to everyone with a little bit of a mannish look sometimes. There is just something about her that attracts me but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

By the way I’m a writer and I now write novels that have been quite successful but never too popular until the most recent ones that have been published. The publisher has remarked about how my style has changed a lot because at first I wasn’t very popular with women readers.

Nowadays it’s completely different and for my last book there were queues outside the bookstore on the day it was released. Imagine that. Who’d have thought I’d be a writer after all that my teachers said at school. Anyway they were wrong and I’ve earned quite a good living so far for a relatively young man.
However it’s not so exciting as all that because whilst I am relatively wealthy these days I have no friends or partner to spoil. The trouble with sitting writing stories is that is a lonely existence and some days are better than others.

Sometimes I get depressed because I can’t decide on the ending of a book. For a while I couldn’t work out how these inspirations suddenly came to me and what had caused the sudden interest from female readers. Now I know and it was all a fluke.

I was really depressed and apart from my visit for breakfast and a bus ride to the office I didn’t see many people because my office is a small self contained unit that I rent. Most of the offices are used by short term tenants. I’m about the only tenant who has rented for more than a year and even I’ve been thinking of working from my apartment but it’s so lonely.

In the office I usually have the door closed to avoid listening to the general chatter in the administration/reception area. Girls can talk about anything for hours on end.

One day they were talking about hair products and as I past them they made some remark about me losing my hair even though I was quite young and recommended that I try a shampoo that they’d read about called ‘Wash & Stay Floral Essence ’. It sounded like the brand I used but the feminine version so I said no thanks. I always used a cheap shampoo from the local 24 hour store that was in a green bottle called ‘Wash & Go.’

Maybe that was the problem my hair was going.

I had started my writing career after a few months working as a researcher for a magazine. I was talking to my boss and told her I’d like to write one day so she encouraged to submit a few short stories that were well enough received so she published them in the magazine.

Eventually had the courage to do some freelance work which enabled me to treble my income in a very short time. As much as I earn I’ve really had no interest to spend.

That is of course with the exception of buying a beautiful piano that I like to play to calm me down when things get on top of me. If I’m really depressed I try to think of my youth and a song that always cheered me up since it made me realize that I didn’t have much to complain about.

There is nothing like playing and singing the song I learned watching old episodes of Monty Python with mum and dad ‘Always look on the Brighter Side of Life.’

Noise doesn’t matter since I have a 3 bedroom luxury apartment in a quiet part of New York.

I never spent much on clothes either. I’m a bit boring really since I wear plain clothes that aren’t fashionable and wear one mix & match set Mondays and another on Tuesdays, another Wednesdays before going back to Mondays again. Friday is casual day that means a checked shirt and blue jeans.

So all pretty boring stuff if I say so myself. But Mel E didn’t seem to mind and most mornings she’d say I was looking smart. Maybe she needed glasses. But I did shower every day with fresh soap and I washed my hair with screw tops full of ‘Wash & Go’. I had used it for several years and even though it was obviously a cheap brand with no real smell it was good enough for me.

I went out for breakfast one morning realizing that I was almost out of shampoo so I decided to stop by the store to buy 2 refill bottles. They were usually on special offer. Imagine my surprise to find the shelf was empty and the assistant told me the supplier had changed the name and the image to increase the price and attract more women buyers.

She gave me some to try. It was in a clear bottle with flower decoration. The name was now ‘Wash & Stay Floral Essence. ’ It smelt very feminine so I was devastated since I’d always used ‘Wash & Go.’

I had no choice but to buy it because the assistant told me the original manufacturer had been replaced by a new one. She handed me 2 bottles from the back of the shelf. I accepted them because I wasn’t going to pay the inflated prices for all the flash shampoos with brand names.

When I arrived at the restaurant I sat at my usual table that had been reserved for me by Mel E. She soon appeared and asked me what was wrong since I was fidgeting and must have looked angry. I told her the story and she just laughed. She said had used this new brand when it first came out several months ago and it was fantastic. She said I must have had a lot of old stock in my bathroom cupboard because ‘Wash & Go’ went a long time ago. She recommended that I just try it and said I’d never regret it.

Then she served me my regular order of bran flakes with cold milk on the side, black coffee, orange juice and two eggs sunny side up on an English muffin with one rasher of streaky bacon cooked crispy. I was watching the news on CNN as usual and the traffic reports to time my exit perfectly to catch the bus to the office.

So I thought I’d take her advice and I put the 2 bottles in my briefcase so at least nobody could see them. Huh feminine hair wash. Whatever next?

The next morning was my first time to try it out. I took my usual shower bang on 6-35am and I rubbed in the solution. The water was nice and warm and I was surprised how many suds were produced from 1 fill of the cap. Much more than the old type. They seemed to be everywhere so it took me ages to rinse that put me a bit behind schedule. The smell was so nice that I was now tempted to use a second and third capful and then a forth.

As I rubbed my hair to dry it my feeling was that it was softer than usual and it smelled so sweet. I rubbed my body dry and then my legs not forgetting other parts that weren’t very perky today. I looked in the mirror and noticed that I had no hair on my chest and likewise with my arms and my legs. My skin was softer too and my nipples were tender today. I thought there must be something in the shampoo that was like hair remover and skin softener but at least my hair on my head looked better and my pubic hair was softer and needed a trim. Was I imagining all this or what?

The color of my hair seemed much lighter today yet the bathroom light was switched off. I never had blond highlights and surely I had a small bald patch yesterday.

When I left the bathroom I felt so nice wrapped in a big soft bath towel with a small towel wrapped around my head and tucked in to make a turban. It would help to dry my hair ready to style it for the office.

What was I thinking? Style it? What’s happened to me? I resisted the urge and combed it instead before finally fluffing it a bit to give it some lift. I added some spray but thought it would be better if I had it professionally styled.

When I looked in my wardrobe to select my clothes I couldn’t bring myself to wear Wednesdays shirt and jacket so I opted for a casual shirt and some slacks instead. It was already sunny outside and I thought I should try to improve my dress image even though I’m just a small office. I decided to wear some light casual shoes with no socks that I’d never done before.

When I arrived at the restaurant I was 15 minutes late. Mel E saw me and said she’d been worried. She asked if I was on vacation today since I was casual and she noticed I’d opted for small leather bag rather than my brief case. Where did that come from? It was my sisters as I recall and she’d left it for me to give to charity. I couldn’t recall going to the cupboard to find it. I must have been in a daydream this morning. At least Mel E did say that my hair looked nice and she came close up to me as I sat down remarking that it smelled nice too. She squeezed my hand and said she was glad I had decided to try the new shampoo. How did she know?

Then I took the menu card from her hand and ordered brown toast and one poached egg with some strawberries on the side. I ordered a pot of Earl Grey tea instead of coffee. She just smiled and was back in a few minutes with my order. I asked her to switch the TV channel from CNN to something more interesting.
When I’d finished breakfast and paid I kissed Mel E and gave her a big tip before popping out to the newsstand to buy a magazine. There were quite a few that took my eye but I opted for a copy of Cosmopolitan.

I’d missed the bus but I didn’t care really. I just waived to a cab and I arrived at the office building at the same time as usual and flicked through the magazine on the way. I felt that I could improve on some of the articles that I glanced at and I wondered about approaching the editor later.

When I arrived at the office I felt like a million dollars. The girls were a lot more friendly today and I just stopped for a chat and showed them one of the articles I’d been reading to give my opinion and ask theirs.

I opened my computer and scanned the chapter of the book that I’d been writing. Mmm it was all wrong I should try to consider what I’d written from a womans point of view and make the story more romantic. I felt that the female character needed to be developed a lot more and have her opinions so I completely re-wrote 2 full chapters before taking a coffee break.

As I sat in the snacks room Elena, one of the receptionists remarked that my bald patch had gone so what trick had I used so she could tell her husband.

No tricks Elena I’ve only changed my shampoo.

To be continued………………..