Summer With Em - Chapter 34 Final

By Julie D Cole

Our conversation was interrupted before I had chance to ask what Frankie meant by a call from Em. I couldn’t ignore it since she had been so kind to me even if I’d been annoyed by the conversation with her and mum.

‘Em I’m not coming back to talk any more. It’s a waste of time. I’m here with Frankie whether mum likes it or not. She understands me and I love her.’

Frankie held my hand and squeezed it gently in my support.

‘But Kim your mum is upset. She said some things that she regrets. I hope you will understand. I’ve calmed her down so please at least give her chance to explain. It’s not about your relationship with Frankie. She trusts you to make your own decisions.’

‘Em that’s not what upset me. She treated me like a child and told me I had to go home with her. She said she wanted her boy back. I’m still her boy.’

‘She was reacting to what she knew before your appointment with the GP. She’d tried to dismiss it but then it hit home.’

‘But she was pleased when she saw me like this and afterwards when we were all together at your place. She encouraged me to wear a dress. She told me I was beautiful. I thought she accepted the change I’ve gone through that I never intended. I’m still confused but at least Frankie seems to understand.’

‘Kim I agree and I encouraged you from the moment you arrived in Manchester. I told your mum my feelings after you arrived and kept her updated. Bec’s had the same opinion as me and agreed to help. We consulted Frankie because of her experience with Steph and what they’d researched together. You’ve helped her come out of a dark place.’

‘Yes but I’m not a child anymore. I feel I’ve grown up a lot and I’m treated differently since you helped

‘Kim your mum admitted that it was a shock to find out your condition was down to her lack of care and attention as you were growing up. She missed appointments and as a result you didn’t develop properly down below.’

‘I’m glad. I was never aware that anything was wrong. I’m glad I didn’t develop like other boys at school. Who wants hair all over their body and a gruff voice or a bald head when they get older. I don’t wish to wake every morning with something pointing out in front of me. I prefer to sit when I pee and hated going in mens washrooms. Ladies washrooms are cleaner and don’t smell of urine.’

‘But you need to give your mum chance and tell her how you feel. She feels so bad and she loves you so much.’

‘I know she does but she needs to accept me like this and my relationship with Frankie. I won’t ever go back home to London. I’ve had enough of it.’

‘So will you meet her during your lunchbreak tomorrow?’

‘Yes of course I will.’

‘And will you go to see a consultant to discuss your options in case there is any danger to your health as you get older. That’s the other thing your mum is concerned about.’

‘I’ll listen of course but I’d also chat about it with Frankie afterwards.’

Em seemed happy to finish the chat before I changed my mind and let mum know. I did promise to call her in the morning before we disconnected. Frankie smiled at me to show her approval and we snuggled up together with lots of hugs and kisses.

Eventually I got around to asking her what she meant by her comment about an alternative option. She smiled and said I should consider going all the way using her fingers like scissors with a cutting action.

I reacted immediately by punching her arm but not too hard. ‘Are you serious? Do you mean the snip?’

‘ Not exactly more like a King Henry VIII. Not so much a snip more of a chop.’

‘Frankie you mean cut it off?’

‘Well sort of it is reconstructed so why not? It’s a fairly common procedure these days and you just admitted to Em that it’s surplus to requirements. You said you liked being a girl. Why not go all the way? You might find you can enjoy a sex life and I’d be happy to help.’

‘But what if I change my mind afterwards? It’s gone.’

‘Sure you’d just need to go through a few consultations and then a period of preparation but you could stop at anytime.’

‘Are you saying you want me to do this and become a full-time girl?’

‘You are a full-time girl. You’re just missing the key bit that brings pleasure. The upside is that you won’t have all the inconveniences that women have at your age or the risk of pregnancy. You might consider that a downside of course but I don’t. I can never imagine me ever having a baby and certainly not if it involved sex with a man.’

‘But how would you feel about me then and what if the operation didn’t work or there were complications? What if they find my testes and move them into position?’

‘Fat chance of that Kimmie. They’ll be long gone that is why your mum was so upset. That’s why you didn’t go through male puberty and in my opinion why you have breasts and other feminine characteristics.’

‘But mum says if I take steroids to boost my testosterone I will build muscle and my boobies will disappear.’

‘ But you don’t want the body hair and the need to shave do you?

‘No I don’t.’

‘If you want to go the other route I’d be very happy. You’d be on a course of estrogen, female hormones but I can’t imagine you’d change much. You’d be subjected to a detailed examination to check everything is in working order and in the right place. They’d need to be sure this is what you really want so there would be an interrogation. But on the positive side you are half way there already. You are already living as a woman.’

‘How would you feel about me afterwards if I did it? I think it would be wonderful for me to feel like other women instead of hiding bits, but how about you? I might change. If I stay like this I feel it might be safer. Don’t you prefer me like this anyway?’

‘I don’t think it would make any difference to our relationship. But common sense tells me you need to be checked out. There is a risk to your health if you do nothing.’

‘OK I’ll tell mum that’s what I want to do and follow your advice.’

‘Kimmie just stop for a minute please. I don’t want you to do this for me. I am just giving you an alternative option to the one your doctor suggested. Just talk it through and most of all either way you’re the same person inside.’

We cuddled for a while and I thanked Frankie for being there for me whilst I was going through this awkward stage of my life. I said I was fortunate to have visited Em and mum was right to try to get me away from the house into a new environment. By some fluke Frankie had appeared on the scene and rescued me from a miserable life all alone.

We had the most amazing session after our chat with Frankie teaching me to find her G-spot and the rest of her erogenous zones starting with her ears then lips, neck, breasts, nipples and tummy. At each stage she demonstrated on me to show me the pleasures this brought but since I had no vagina I had no G spot it was her way of pushing me gently towards an operation.

She was very happy when she finally closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep. I lay my head on her shoulder and lay awake for quite a while wondering if it was possible for a surgeon to create access to my G spot or construct one if that was possible.

It was after midnight before I finally fell asleep and so it took me a while to wake up properly the following morning. Frankie was already up and showered and she brought me around by shaking drops of water from her wet hair before kissing me passionately on the lips.

‘Come on sleepy head you need to get your skates on. I’ll drop you at work if you hurry up.’

‘Sorry Frankie I couldn’t get to sleep straight away because I was thinking things through how to deal with mum. I want to re-assure her that she has no need to feel guilty about how I’ve turned out she needs to feel as happy as me. I want her to be proud of me not ashamed in any way. I want her to accept that my decision is to discuss having an operation to make me complete. I want to be your girl and mums daughter not her son.’

‘And after that?’

‘I want to move in with you for the rest of the summer, such as it is, if you don’t mind of course. Then find somewhere to live and find a full time job rather than finish my university course. I just want to feel accepted and to experience life as a woman. Maybe I’ll find a husband and we can make babies together every night.’

‘Kimmie are you dreaming?’

‘No I’m teasing you. I just want to get things sorted and I’ll do my best to become worthy of being your life partner.’

‘So how about phoning in sick and I’ll convince you that you already found a husband and she will gladly be your life partner if you’ll have me?’