Lindsey was a little timidity when she stepped through the front door of her home. She was using a cane to walk because of the surgery done to her leg. She had to spend a week in the hospital. Tessa and Ian got all the school work she was missing and if there was a lecture, her teacher allowed her to watch it by video. It also allowed her to ask questions as well.

She could tell the carpet had been replaced and the walls had been redone. According to what her mother told her, the robbers had come in through the back door. They had put precautions on the front door with cameras and such, but her mother didn’t think about the backdoor.

Their neighbor across the street from them had security cameras that faced the street towards their place. They had caught the robbers casing their place a few nights ago. Lindsey had opened the window in her practice room to let some fresh air in. She hadn’t left it opened, but you could see everything she had in the practice room while she worked on her music.

Barbara took the opportunity while Lindsey was in the hospital, to have a crew come in. She had them take up the carpet, repair and paint the walls.The place where the knife went into the floor was fixed. She had a security firm her company dealt with to come in and update the security system of the house. She wasn’t taking any chances with Lindsey’s safety or even her own safety ever again.

“I changed your bedroom and your practice room around. Plus, we had to replace some of your audio equipment. I accidentally shot the equipment.” Barbara couldn’t believe she had shot the audio equipment the other robber had in his hand.

Lindsey peeks her head into her bedroom and saw that Barbara had gotten her a new bed and bed set. She had also redecorated her bedroom.

“Now, I’m going to have to relearn where everything is.” She had a playful smile on her face.

“I also organized that pile of shoes in your closet, so you can find everything.” Barbara couldn’t believe that Lindsey hadn’t organized her shoes and boots.

Lindsey walks across the hallway to her practice room. She was careful where she put her hand. She could still remember the second crook standing in the doorway. She looks down at the hallway floor where she stood. She was standing where the first crook had tried to kill her.

Lindsey closes her eyes and clenches her fist as the memory of that night surfaces. Her breathing starts to become shallow. Her sight becomes blurry and she loses control of her bladder. Since, the muscles of her bladder was weaken, she pees herself.

Barbara notices Lindsey having a panic attack and wraps her arms around her. She holds her and rubs her back “you’re safe, Lindsey. He won’t ever hurt you again.”

Barbara just holds Lindsey and continues to rub her back. The counselor Lindsey was seeing, said she might experience panic attacks. The memory of what she experienced was still fresh in Lindsey’s mind.

After ten minutes or so, Lindsey relaxes and her breathing returns to normal. She just holds onto Barbara. She could feel the diaper she was wearing under her skirt was soaked. Until her bladder became stronger, she would need to wear a diaper under her clothes or wear depends.

The doctor said that she was going to need to relearn how to control her bladder. One, because she no longer had the same control she did when she had a penis and secondly because the damage that had been done to her from the knife going completely through her abdomen. The knife had damaged some of the nerves that allowed her to control her bladder.

She should be wearing a catheter right now, but Lindsey wanted to work on making her bladder stronger. The doctor could understand that and took it out. He did say until her bladder control was stronger, she might experience leaks or even total bladder lost. So, he recommended that she wear pads like Poise or Depends. Because of how small in height and petite she was, she could get away with wearing baby diapers. She was only 4 feet 4 inches tall.

“Mom, I need to change my diaper.” Lindsey felt embarrassed saying those words.

“Come on, let’s get you changed.” Barbara escorts Lindsey into her bedroom and changes her diaper.

“I feel embarrassed about having to do this.” Lindsey looks up into her mother’s eyes.

“Don’t be sweetie, you’re giving me practice for when your sibling is born. Plus, you didn’t ask for this.” Barbara finishes changing Lindsey’s diaper.

Lindsey gets up off her bed and straightens her skirt out. She takes her dirty diaper to the trash and gets rid of it. She still hated the fact that she had to wear one, but it was better than walking around with a catheter.

Lindsey was done with her school work. So, she goes into her practice room and works on some music. It was the only thing that she wanted to do, after being stuck in the hospital for a week. She had her laptop with her music program, but it wasn’t like having her synthesizer there with her.

Lindsey sits down at her synthesizer and starts working on some music. She loses herself to the notes as she plays them.

“That sounds, beautiful.” Ian had come over to see how Lindsey was doing.

He didn’t want to interrupt her while she was playing. Whatever she was working on sounded different then what they normally played. He wonders how long she has been working on it.

Lindsey was surprised when she heard Ian’s voice and peed her diaper again. She was hating the fact she couldn’t control herself. The doctor did warn her that it would happen.

“Ian, you scared me.” Lindsey wasn’t going to let Ian know about her little problem.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean too. That piece you were working on, sounded so nice.” He walks into the room and over to a spare seat that Lindsey keeps in the room.

Lindsey was glad, that only a little bit came out of her bladder. She was just glad she didn’t have a panic attack when he spoke. She still felt a little jumpy and nervous in her own home.

“So, is that for our band or something else?”

“It’s my homework for the Orchestra. My instructor wanted me to compose a piece that the orchestra could play. He felt since I have missed a few sessions, that this should make up for it.” Lindsey shifted on her stool.

“Well, I’m glad you are home and doing better.” Ian was happy Lindsey was home.

“How is the band doing that you are playing in?” Lindsey knew Ian was helping a band who needed a drummer.

“They are doing okay, but they could really use your help in writing songs. The lead singer of the band sucks at writing music and the rest like to copy pieces from other bands.” Ian didn’t mind helping them out.

“What is their style of music?” Lindsey wonders if she should write something for them.

“Heavy Metal. If you took our songs Anvil and Hammer or Thunderstorm and amp it up some, that is their style.” Ian didn’t mind playing their music, he kind of liked it.

“I’ll see what I can do. Heavy Metal has never been the type of music I enjoy.” Lindsey writes a reminder on a sticky note.

Ian gets up walk over and just hold Lindsey. He was happy she was doing better and was home safely. They stay like that for a while.

Ian leaves after two hours, leaving Lindsey working on the piece she had been playing. She tries to create a new piece for the band Ian was helping. It wasn’t her style of music, but she thinks about it.

At four in the afternoon, she goes and lays down for a nap. She’s gotten into a habit of taking naps during the day, since she wakes up during the night from memories of the attack.

Barbara and Greg check on Lindsey while she slept. Barbara knew Lindsey might need to be changed when she wakes up. The doctor said she might wet the bed, like she did when she was little, till her bladder control got better.

“She’ll be fine, Barb. It will just take time.” Greg puts her arm around Barbara.

“I know. Lindsey is a tough little girl. I just wish bad things would stop happening to her.” Barbara knew all about Lindsey’s past.

They watch Lindsey for a while, before going back to the living room.