Sunday morning Kelly was a couple levels above normal perky. Honestly I don't know how she does it all the time. I was getting use to it though. Seeing her happy all the time did make me feel a little better. There are many ways to wake up in the mornings and a chipper all too happy Kelly calling me honey, sweetie or the dreaded sweetheart was far from the worst.

“Breakfast is in an hour honey.” Kelly said as she teased my covers. She pretended she was trying to pull them off but I know had she really wanted to she was stronger than me. Besides while I don't think she realizes I noticed she tries really hard to not see me in only my diaper. Which works for me. I don't like people seeing it either. “After we need to go to my office, I have some great news for you. I can hardly wait and your going to love it!.” Kelly beamed.

Great news I’m going to love. Coming from her it can only mean she found me a home. I hope it’s as good as she hopes it is. I was just starting to really like it here. Mandy and I even did the seesaw a couple more times. I knew I couldn’t stay here though.

I hope Ashley was alright. I haven’t heard from her yet but it’s only been almost a week. She likely didn’t have the address to this place either. I need to make sure Kelly gives me hers. As I got ready thoughts of a new home kept distracting me. Before I knew it my hair was done. Kelly gave me a small hand mirror a couple days ago and using it I could see it was neat and tight. I couldn’t quite remember doing it though, I couldn't seem to think of anything other than again I was leaving a place when it started to feel comfortable. At least this time I knew it was coming, and I knew I had to go.

Just as I thought, Kelly had found a “Wonderful new home” with a lovely family and she was just positive everything was going to be great. We were to leave a couple hours after lunch. She did give me Ashley’s address and said she would give mine to her, I could also give it to her when I sent my first letter. I wanted to wright her right away but I needed to let Mandy know I was leaving some how. Lucky Kelly found us on the seesaw just before lunch and told Mandy for me.

The “Wonderful new home” had a family with 2 twin thirteen old daughters as well as a little 5 year old chinese girl they were in the process of adopting. A family that adopts was like the holy grail for foster kids. Everyone who doesn’t have real parents to go to is looking for that. What ever a holy grail is anyway. The good thing was girls usually were not as mean as the boys. The bad news is I was going to be the only boy. All I could really do is hope Kelly was right. She so far has not lied to me and has been kind and nice. I know her job is to put kids like me in houses though and I’ve seen enough houses to know not all end up being a home.

I took my now daily shower right after lunch so my hair had time to dry before we had to leave. I spent all of the fifteen minutes it took to pack my things. I even managed to fold the shirts in something resembling how Ashley tried to teach me. I’m not sure why but I even did the Ashley braid as I now called it with the dutch and the sides like that movie I have never seen. I doubt it mattered but I was trying to make a good impression. I had on my good pants and shirt. Well the pants with the fewest wear marks in them. Problem is they were the ones with the flowers on the back pockets. The shirt while white and free of stains had little ruffle things on the sleeves. I think these are my nicest clothes because I wear them the least. Kelly would be here soon to take me to the van and then I get to meet the new family. Too many emotions to really describe what that is like.

***

“Her name is Avery.” Emily Nelson started as everyone finished lunch. Yesterday afternoon Emily and Robert had talked with their children about Avery and if they should add her to their home. They thought it would be more difficult to persuade them to give the poor girl a chance than it was. None of the children really protested, the only real question is how best to help Avery and her unique special needs.

Both parents were particularly pleased when their girls Faith and Grace said that it was their duty to God help Avery if they could. Robert and Emily were born and raised traditional Protestants. They tried to raise all their children under God and to the church’s teachings. From their own experience however they learned that the best way was to guide and lead by example. When their parents pushed God onto them they both resisted in their own way. Robert and Emily used a more hands off approach. They would teach the word of God by example and with encouragement. They decided long ago they would not push their children but encourage them to make the right decision on their own.

“Remember she has had a hard life so far.” Emily continued. Trying to make sure everyone understood Avery’s special needs. The girl would be here in a couple hours. “Avery has a couple areas that we all need to be respectful of. First, a lot of things have made her a little cautious of people being too close to her. She does not like to be touched. In time once she gets to know us that might change. Remember that it could take a good while and it is her that needs to decide when it's been long enough, not any of us.”

All the girls nodded. Even little Cindy who it would seem would agree to anything if it meant she had another sister. They took Cindy into their home and hearts a couple years ago now and if everyone had their wish they would adopt the girl permanently. Emily had another talk with Cindy once everything was decided. Just to make sure Cindy understood everything. She was only five after all.

“Also, Avery does not talk.” Emily went on. “I think over time this will be the most difficult thing for us to get use to. God willing her voice may grace us but for now it is not to be expected.” Grace giggled a little at the use of her name as a verb before Emily continued. “I’m sure we all will make mistakes myself included, but try not to ask her questions that need a specific answer it might make her uncomfortable. Mrs. Kelly says Avery is quite good at expressing herself in other ways and making her thoughts known. I’m sure we all will find out just what that means soon enough.”

“Perhaps the most uncomfortable part” Emily continued the review of her likely unnecessary Avery final onceover. “Avery is incontinent. What that means is Avery does not know when she needs to go potty. Because of that, like with all of you when you were little, she needs to wear a diaper.”

“Now I know I don't need to say this because your all such wonderful children, but let it be known that absolutely no teasing or jokes about this in any way will be tolerated at all. Just imagine what it would be like if it were you. I’m sure she does not enjoy wearing a diaper all the time everywhere she goes any more than any of you would. I don't expect we can simply act like it does not exist. In some ways ignoring it can be as bad as teasing. Treat it as a normal part of who she is. I think that like her not talking and her personal space Avery will show us how she expects to be treated by how she treats us. Remember the golden rule.” Emily paused a moment to let everything sink in before she added. “Is there anyone that has anything they want to say or something that they feel we need to discuss?”

As Emily expected nobody said anything. She was mostly sure that the last ten minutes or so was not needed. A lot of it was for herself. She was nervous. Kelly made Avery sound like such a special child that just needed a real chance. Not in the “special” way either, special in the way a good person in both heart and soul is good and special. The couple pictures Kelly sent her yesterday on the seesaw only strengthened her resolve.

Emily and Robert spent a lot of time talking the night before about what it would take for a child to stop talking and not want any physical contact with other people. She was almost glad Avery’s file was gone. None of the things that came to mind that would be bad enough to hurt a child in such a way were anything she wanted to think about. Honestly, not knowing what Avery has been through made it easier. They wouldn’t tiptoe around things awkwardly trying to be nice only to make Avery self conscious by seeing through their obfuscation. It was done now. Avery was coming. God had brought them this child to love and help. Emily could only hope they were strong enough for that task. “Lord give me strength” she thought to herself.

“So, who wants to help me make brownies?” Emily said as a way of closing the impromptu meeting. Cindy jumped at the chance. Perhaps just over a year ago Emily would have had three eager girls in the kitchen trying to put their part into the simple baking project. Then one day her girls decided they were just too old for such things. Like the flipping of a switch her angles became young teens and that was that. For now she would settle for Cindy, perhaps soon she could be blessed with Cindy and Avery? Perhaps not, but it was nice to think about.

“I’m going to head out to the garage and see if I could get some things done before Avery gets here.” Robert said to nobody’s surprise. He liked to tinker in the garage when he could get away with it. He was rather addicted to radio controlled airplanes and a bit of a perfectionist when it came to making them just how he wanted them.

When Faith and Grace finished helping Emily and Cindy clear away the lunch dishes they made their way to the living room and turned on the television. They didn’t really care what they were watching as long as it wasn't too boring. They mostly wanted the background noise.

Sitting on the couch they turned to face each other. Which in a lot of ways was like looking in a mirror. Today that mirror only went as far as the face. They didn’t dress the same every day. Mostly when they felt like it. They made sure their hair was cut the same so that when they chose to they could look like a bubblegum commercial but it was easy enough to look at least a little different when they wanted to. They decided that being Avery’s first day here it would be mean to play “twin games” as Emily called them with the new girl… At least for the first day. Best to get a good read on her first, and Robert would be very angry along with Emily if it even looked like they were picking on the girl.

“So, what do you really think?” Grace asked Faith.

“I dunno, mostly what we talked about last night I guess.” Faith started. “I don't mind another kid in the house any more than you do. As long as she’s not crazy or anything anyway.”

“Yeah.” Grace commented. “Just kind of weird. The not being touched thing I can get. I think in some way nobody likes being touched at least part of the time. I can't imagine what it would be like to not talk though. I mean, just, wow, like not talking at all, ever. How does that even work, I mean, I just don’t get it.”

“I guess it's like being blind or deaf or missing an arm or something.” Faith injected. “Like if you can't see than you can't see. Sure seeing would be better obviously but, if you can't see than you either deal with it or what...just fall over and die?”

“Dad said she might be able to talk” Grace put in.

“But if she can talk and just never does,” Faith added. “What does that mean.”

“Like nothing is ever worth saying?” Grace finished the question.

The girls often did things like this. For the most part they knew most of how the other felt. Not some psychic link or what have you. More the deep understanding of another person that usually only develops with someone as close to you as a twin.

Not only were they in the same womb, they shared many of the same experiences. They also learned things at the same time as well as sharing that knowledge together. They both learned fire is hot at the same time. What a lemon tastes like, how snow felt. They learned how to walk and eat and speak and everything. Together at the same time. When they learned something together they both had very similar life experiences all the way up to that point to reflect upon as they learned something. They drew similar conclusions and made similar mistakes.

More than that, where they were different was equally well known to both of them. Someone likely knows their partners or best friends favorite food. A twin likely knows how much more one likes string beans steamed over boiled as well as if they prefer them cut or not.

When they had a problem they found that talking through it together helped them both understand. Twice the brainpower focused on the task. They couldn’t read each other's minds they just think mostly the same because both of them draw on life experiences that are so similar as well as each of their differences. Where they don't think the same they have a really good idea of what the other would be thinking anyway. The same way a husband knows his wife's drink at a restaurant when she is in the bathroom. Only on a much higher level.

“Emily said they seen her sounding out words when she was reading and didn't know people could see.” Faith said.

“Maybe she can't talk just whisper or something” Grace said.

“And just doesn't want to sound all messed up” Faith said.

“If she tried to talk around other people.” Grace said.

“Bet she was teased for it before and just gave up on it.” Faith said.

They looked at each other a bit. Mostly done. Neither of them thought that their theory was right or anything but it was good enough for them to at least try to understand what life would be like if you couldn't talk. They weren’t actually talking about what life would be like with the words. Most of their talking didn’t need words.

For them, this was a starting point. They might not be able to relate with Avery or even understand. But now there was a start. Like most people they would think on the issue both consciously and subconsciously. Just Faith and Grace would do it together. Later they would talk again and compare notes so to speak. Reaffirming their shared experiences to include all of what might be called “getting to know Avery”.

“The diaper thing.” Faith said.

“How can you poop without knowing?” Grace said.

“Lets just leave that for now.” Faith said.

“Agreed.” Grace finished.

Emily turned off the mixer and Cindy poured in the last of the flour. Once mixed it stopped again and she handed Cindy a batter covered rod from the mixer which the little girl quickly took with both hands and a huge smile.

“Ema” Cindy asked between licks.

Cindy called Emily “Ema” ever since shortly after the girl came into their lives. If someone asked Cindy what Emily’s name was the girl would say Emily. Cindy always called her Ema though. Emily liked to think it was because it was close to mama or ma. Emily would never ask Cindy why because she really didn’t want to ruin her little fantasy. “Yes Cindy?” Emily asked before the chocolate goodness distracted Cindy from whatever she was about to say.

“Is Avery gonna like me?” Cindy asked.

“Of course Avery is going to like you sweetheart, what's not to like?” Emily quickly answered. “I’m sure Avery is a good person, and in time were all going to be great friends. It might take Avery time though.” Emily continued.

It was important to not put false expectations on the little girl. “Remember Avery is coming here to live with us. Just like we have never met her she has never met us either. Think how scary that must be. A whole new house and family all at once. I'm sure at first she’s going to be a little scared and shy. I know I would be. In time though you'll see. You two might become best of friends, who knows. I'm sure she will like you though Cindy. Even if you do have batter on your nose.” Emily finished.

Cindy giggled before trying to lick her nose with her tongue. If only I had my camera for that Emily thought with a smile. “Just give Avery time to get use to us. Some people were not very nice to her before. She doesn’t know we would never be mean to her yet. I'm sure once she is sure were nice people, we will all be surprised how nice she is too.” Emily said.

“She’s older than I am right Ema? Cindy asked.

“Yes Cindy, Avery is eight. She will be nine just before Christmas.” Emily replied.

“Will you adopt Avery?” Cindy asked as Emily slid the brownies into the oven.

“It’s too early to know that Cindy. Maybe. Only God knows.” Emily said.

“If you adopt Avery...Does that mean you won’t want me anymore Ema?” Cindy asked. Her eyes a bit watery.

“Oh no honey” Emily quickly replied as she sat on a chair at the kitchen table. Emily picked the little girl up and held her on her lap. “Whatever God has planned for Avery and our family, one thing I know for certain is nothing will make us love you any less. Nothing is going to make us not want you to be as much a part of our family as we can have you. I promise Cindy. We all love you too much to let you go. No matter how wonderful Avery turns out to be Cindy. Nobody can ever replace you. Remember that always.” Emily said as she hugged Cindy tightly. Cindy sniffed a little as she maneuvered an arm around her Ema and hugged back.

Robert really wanted to lose himself in his model planes. He set everything out and even plugged in the soldering iron. The one he was building now was from scratch. He had painstakingly bent the wire frame to exacting precision over more time that he wanted to admit. It was paying off though. The craft was looking more and more like it might actually fly one day. If his math was right, it might even do it well. It would be more heavy than some of the prefabricated planes he had but that was alright. The design he was making wasn’t supposed to be nimble after all anyway. Bombers were lumbering beasts built to fly high and heavy. The problem is he just couldn’t get his mind into the project at the moment.

When Emily gave birth to his two girls his world finally felt complete. He had no idea he could love anything more than Emily. That was until the first moment he laid his eyes on those twin miracles. The girls were less than a year old and already he and Emily were talking of more. Of the family they had wished for when they were young and full of life. How perfect the future would be for them with their hopes and dreams.

Then Emily had her problems. Far to many tests and procedures for either of them. In the end however their prayers fell short or so it seemed. Emily had a hysterectomy. Well a bit more than that. They managed to save the lower half of her uterus and cervix, The cost was the upper half as well as her fallopian tubes and ovaries.

They were devastated for some time. All their hopes and dreams for the family they both wanted so badly seemed ripped away from them. He felt God was punishing them for some reason for the longest time. Their hearts and perhaps part of their soul felt broken beyond repair.

They prayed so hard and for so long for strength and guidance. Robert began to doubt God's plan for them, even angry at God himself for doing this to them. Emily shot down Robert every time he cursed so. She had always been the strong one.

He was the man and it was his duty to lead his family. It was her strength that gave him the ability to do it though. The role of a husband and wife is clear in the bible. He had been taught that for all his life. He never really understood. When he was growing he would ask his father who would dance around a direct answer. Usually ending with a laugh and “You'll understand one day, just like me.” Dad was right. Oh how right he was.

Emily would do her duty without fail. No matter what he asked of her she would do her utmost to see it so. As long as he followed God’s word. Nothing could shield him from her furry if he strayed from the almighty word however. Lightning was not so fast to point the error in his path as Emily. Truly he would be lost without her by his side.

Then one day at a church function a couple introduced their new foster child to them. A young black boy. He was maybe 10 at the time. They talked some with the new parents. Robert didn’t give it much thought but Emily spent most of the function with the young boys new foster mother.

That night Emily was almost glowing with new found strength and hope. To her it was clear. God did what he had done because it was our place to help children who needed them. Blessed with two of their own already as Emily saw it now God wanted their family to be of a flock God would send to them. The dream of perhaps still having the family they always wanted now rekindled in Emily roared like a wildfire. Emily was soon convinced. Perhaps this was a sign from God. He had not forsaken them. He was hesitant at first. He couldn't find an argument against trying it that he believed much less one that would convince Emily. Emily didn't just want to be foster parents.

Emily wanted their family to be ready for whatever God would send them. It was their duty to God to be ready. They took every class Emily could find for children in every condition. The thought of raising a crippled child and feeding them from a tube was hard for Robert to wrap his head around. So much work and how could he love some other people’s child enough to do such a thing. Emily didn't see it like that. He tried and he prayed for guidance. In the end he just put his trust in her and in God.

Then Cindy came into their lives. It was rough at first. He was ashamed to admit it but he was just not sure he could love some other child in the way he would need to if he were to be the father. With Emily’s strength he would try. She needed this to work. He was damaged from all they had lost but for all of that damage, Emily was all but broken. So much love to give but she would never bare fruit to spread that love upon again. For Emily he could only do his duty. Whatever shape God had in mind for his family he would lead it the best he could. For Emily he would burn the world if he had too. For Emily Cindy was her last chance at their dreams. Her dedication and commitment shamed Robert some. He had to live up to her expectations, and God's.

With God’s grace it was far more easy than he would have, could have dreamed.. He was shocked how quickly and easily he came to love little Cindy. It’s only been a couple years but already he didn’t want to think of a life without her in it. He thanked God every night for blessing them with Cindy. He would not doubt God's plan again.

Avery, was going to be a new kind of challenge. She was not the young innocent girl Cindy was when God brought her to them. Avery was older and it seems has been through so much in such a short life. Robert tried not to think of all the bad things that could happen. At the same time he needed to be realistic too. This was his family and his duty to protect it. What if Avery was bad. What if she was mean to the other children, stole things or God forbid hit and picked on Cindy. How would he handle something like that.

He had talked with Kelly a great deal. Everything she said seemed like none of those things were going to happen. It also seemed too good to be true. A girl with so much hurt in her past yet not the bitterness many would fall to. A similar bitterness that almost infected both Robert and Emily. In so many ways Cindy saved them. Saved their marriage, and their faith.

Perhaps that is why God is giving them Avery. Perhaps Kelly is right and it's not too late. Perhaps God is sending Avery because as Cindy saved them now it is their turn to save Avery. “Lord give me the wisdom to follow your path”. Robert thought to himself.