The Road to Haifa - Chapter 3

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The Road to Haifa
Chapter 3 — Fallout
by Alyssa Plant
 
Sarah faces her Colonel, as herself, wondering what her future in the IDF holds”

 


 Chapter 3 — Fallout

Colonel Mathias stared intently at David. Neither said anything for a moment.

“Well your service record states otherwise. Do you want to elaborate?” The colonel answered with a slightly confused expression on his weathered face.

David took a deep breath and collected his thoughts before beginning;

“As long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I was a girl sir.” He replied carefully. “Almost like I’m not right…. I feel like I’ve lived someone else’s life sir. I… I don’t know… I’m sorry, I just can't go on like this.” David explained as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Colonel Mathias rose and moved around his desk to perch against the top directly in front of David. “Go on.” He urged.

David looked into the face of his commanding officer, trying to read the old man’s thoughts but failed.

“Sir, If I can't be me…” he said slowly, gesturing at himself. “Then I need you to discharge me. I cannot continue as David for much longer. It hurts too much.” He sighed, the tear followed by several relatives.

Mathias looked down at the young soldier before him. The youngster was clearly troubled by these feelings, and very serious. Mathias understood how the boy must feel to come to him like this.

“Am I the first person you’ve talked to about this?” he asked softly.

David looked up whipping a dear from his eye, and shook his head. “No sir, I , ah, I told Ari, I mean Corporal Weismann earlier today sir.”

The colonel nodded. “I see. Well….” He said with a sigh. “You are not the first soldier under my command to have come to me with such a problem. Now admittedly, I was but a young Lieutenant the first time one of my soldiers trusted me with such a secret. I think there is only one way to deal with this. Don’t worry, we shall manage.”

Sarah looked up at her commanding officer with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“I don’t want to loose you, um, David… You are one of my best marksmen. Um, markspeople.” The Colonel grinned with an exasperated sigh. “I want you in my unit. Fuck the rest of the army, fuck the politicians. You are staying, and I will make accommodations to keep you as a member of my team.”

Sarah couldn’t hold it in anymore, and she broke down sobbing.

The colonel cracked; he couldn’t remain so professional and distant when one of his people was so distressed. As hard as it was for the grizzled soldier; he pulled the girl to her feet and enveloped her in a fatherly hug, and rubbed her back as she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Hush my dear, it's ok,” he soothed.

Colonel Mathias looked down at the girl in his arms. How had he ever mistaken David for a man? There were more male looking female troops in the unit…

Easing her back into the leather chair, he moved to the door and asked his assistant to fetch a pot of coffee.

Returning to his desk he sat opposite David and crossed a leg and stared at the young soldier.

Looking up she saw the Colonel regarding her intently. “What is it sir?” she asked.

“What do you want?” he simply stated.

“Well.” She started. “I don’t really WANT anything. I just want to continue doing my job, but um, as a girl?” she replied hesitantly.

The colonel looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think” he answered; “that we can do that. I would prefer if you simply eased into things? Allow people time to get used to the idea… And of course tell them…” he suggested.

Sarah nodded. “of course sir, I wasn’t expecting you to let me prance around the base in a sundress.” She giggled.

“Do you have a name?” He asked.

“Sarah,” she answered without hesitation. “It’s what my mother would have named me had I been born, um, a girl.” She said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.

There was a knock on the door and Shamira poked her head in; “Sir, the coffee is here if you want it,” she said quietly.

The colonel nodded; “Thank you Shamira, and please take a seat, we need to discuss something.”

Sarah looked surprised for a moment, but noticed the warm smile on Shamira’s face.

The two had been friends for a long time, but now she felt that might be tested.

”Um, Shamira” Sarah began. “I, uh…” She began but was cut off by Shamira grinning and waving her hand dismissively.

“It's ok honey, I heard through the door, you two weren’t very quiet, and I sorta suspected anyway. I’m just glad you’re going to be officially on our team now!” She smiled rising to hug Sarah.

Sarah couldn’t believe her luck, she seemed to be moving closer to realising her dream, and they weren’t baby steps… full leaps and bounds were being made by the moment it seemed.

“Shamira, can you sort out Sarah’s file for me and leave it on my desk so I can push the forms around? And perhaps you two should spend some time together, take the afternoon, Private Cohen, I’m sure I can make my own coffee for a few hours…” the colonel smiled in his grandfatherly way.

Before the colonel could change his mind, Shamira took Sarah’s hand and dragged her out of the office before she could protest.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into the old man today but be thankful!” Shamira grinned as they crossed the parade ground.
“So you knew?” Sarah half whispered.

“Oh of course” Laughed Shamira. “You look like a girl… You’re the only ‘man’” she gestured quotation marks and giggled. “In the unit, that doesn’t look like a goddamn hard case. You don’t seem gay. It was the logical conclusion. Plus you always seemed to like it when people thought you were a girl.”

“I guess” replied Sarah. “So a lot of people think I’m gay?”

”Most of the guys who know your um, biological sex, think you’re gay, the ones who don’t, think you’re a girl, and most of the girls don’t really mind. You’re whoever you are to us to be honest. Now things are cleared up it’s a whole lot easier!”

“I guess” Replied Sarah, still not entirely convinced. “So where are we going?”

“To my room silly. We got carte blanche to take the afternoon off, we are so going shopping!”

”I ah, should go get some civies then…” Sarah responded.

“Why? I’ve got loads in my room. And we’re the same size.”

“I uh don’t know about that…” replied a startled Sarah.

“Nonsense, I can’t be seen in public with such a shabby tomboy, now be a dear and doll yourself up for Mira?” giggled Shamira.

“Just don’t make me look silly, ok?” grimaced Sarah. “I don’t want to get laughed at…”

”Honey, I'd have to do more than put you in clothes you were destined for to make you look silly… it would take conscious effort on your part…” Smiled Mira putting her arm around Sarah.

When they arrived at Shamira’s Quarters, Sarah was handed a big fluffy white towel, and a collection of shampoos and conditioners, and banished to the bathroom.

As the water washed down her body, she began to wonder if this was really happening. It all seemed to right… Too easy. Life wasn’t meant to be easy was it?

Rinsing her hair she tied the towel around her chest and left the bathroom. Mira was in the process of changing out of her uniform and Sarah began to turn away.

“Oh don’t be so shy! Come in, we’re both girls here.” giggled Mira. Embarrassedly, Sarah came into the room and sat on Mira’s bed while she finished dressing.

After pulling on her jeans and a top, she threw a denim skirt and a spaghetti strapped top at Sarah and ordered her to dress.

Sarah just sat on Mira’s bed holding the items and underwear she had been passed, looking thoughtful.

“Are you going to get dressed, or do I have to do it for you?” Mira scolded jokingly with her hands on her hips.

“Um, I don’t know what to do.” Sarah whispered blushing.

“You haven’t worn women’s clothes before?” asked Mira looking honestly surprised. “I thought you were a girl inside? Don’t you all do that?”

“Um, I never had chance.” Replied Sarah quietly.

“Oh, sorry.” Said Mira; the smile disappearing from her face. “Let me help you then.”

After helping Sarah dress, Mira applied light makeup, and tousled her hair before announcing her project complete. Guiding her friend to a Mirror, She stood back smiling as Sarah stared dumfounded into the glass.

She couldn’t believe how she looked. It was amazing what a difference clothing made. She now realised how everyone saw her. As a her… There was no way someone would see her birth sex. She thanked god that she had been so blessed.

Before long they were walking across the parade ground towards Sarah’s quarters to collect her assault rifle before leaving the base. It was mandatory for Troops to carry their personal weapon when leaving the base during duty hours.

Sarah felt strange, but also a new freedom, she was finally getting a chance to be herself. It was exhilarating. She wondered what Ari would think when she arrived at their room.
She just prayed he wasn’t in.

Her padded bra gave her a tiny bust, which she felt extremely conscious about. Like they were the most visible part of her now. Her entire bodily awareness had been inverted by 4 simple garments.

Arriving at her quarters, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Ari was lying on his bed watching TV when she entered. “Wow Sarah, you look amazing!” Ari grinned.

Turning bright red she looked away. “I um, came to get my AR… I’m going into town with Shamira Cohen to do some shopping…. I uh, could you pass it?” She stammered.

Getting up from the bed, Ari walked over with her AR15 in hand still looking at her intently. “You really are beautiful, you know that?” he said handing her the rifle.

Blushing, she quietly muttered a thank you without looking at him. Ari hugged her and grinned “Knock em dead kid.”

She smiled at him and turned to leave and was greeted by Mira grinning like a fool.

”Don’t even say it.” She said as they walked down the corridor and out into the bright sunlight.

“What?” asked Mira in mock outrage.

“He’s like a brother to me, I couldn’t.” Beamed Sarah.

“Ah well more for me then.” Grinned Mira playfully elbowing Sarah.

Laughing like schoolgirls, the two made their way out the main gate and towards the shopping district of the city.

She had almost forgotten to be afraid…



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