The Road to Haifa
Chapter 3 — Fallout
by Alyssa Plant
Sarah faces her Colonel, as herself, wondering what her future in the IDF holds”
Chapter 3 — Fallout
Colonel Mathias stared intently at David. Neither said anything for a moment.
“Well your service record states otherwise. Do you want to elaborate?” The colonel answered with a slightly confused expression on his weathered face.
David took a deep breath and collected his thoughts before beginning;
“As long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I was a girl sir.” He replied carefully. “Almost like I’m not right…. I feel like I’ve lived someone else’s life sir. I… I don’t know… I’m sorry, I just can't go on like this.” David explained as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Colonel Mathias rose and moved around his desk to perch against the top directly in front of David. “Go on.” He urged.
David looked into the face of his commanding officer, trying to read the old man’s thoughts but failed.
“Sir, If I can't be me…” he said slowly, gesturing at himself. “Then I need you to discharge me. I cannot continue as David for much longer. It hurts too much.” He sighed, the tear followed by several relatives.
Mathias looked down at the young soldier before him. The youngster was clearly troubled by these feelings, and very serious. Mathias understood how the boy must feel to come to him like this.
“Am I the first person you’ve talked to about this?” he asked softly.
David looked up whipping a dear from his eye, and shook his head. “No sir, I , ah, I told Ari, I mean Corporal Weismann earlier today sir.”
The colonel nodded. “I see. Well….” He said with a sigh. “You are not the first soldier under my command to have come to me with such a problem. Now admittedly, I was but a young Lieutenant the first time one of my soldiers trusted me with such a secret. I think there is only one way to deal with this. Don’t worry, we shall manage.”
Sarah looked up at her commanding officer with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
“I don’t want to loose you, um, David… You are one of my best marksmen. Um, markspeople.” The Colonel grinned with an exasperated sigh. “I want you in my unit. Fuck the rest of the army, fuck the politicians. You are staying, and I will make accommodations to keep you as a member of my team.”
Sarah couldn’t hold it in anymore, and she broke down sobbing.
The colonel cracked; he couldn’t remain so professional and distant when one of his people was so distressed. As hard as it was for the grizzled soldier; he pulled the girl to her feet and enveloped her in a fatherly hug, and rubbed her back as she sobbed into his shoulder.
“Hush my dear, it's ok,” he soothed.
Colonel Mathias looked down at the girl in his arms. How had he ever mistaken David for a man? There were more male looking female troops in the unit…
Easing her back into the leather chair, he moved to the door and asked his assistant to fetch a pot of coffee.
Returning to his desk he sat opposite David and crossed a leg and stared at the young soldier.
Looking up she saw the Colonel regarding her intently. “What is it sir?” she asked.
“What do you want?” he simply stated.
“Well.” She started. “I don’t really WANT anything. I just want to continue doing my job, but um, as a girl?” she replied hesitantly.
The colonel looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think” he answered; “that we can do that. I would prefer if you simply eased into things? Allow people time to get used to the idea… And of course tell them…” he suggested.
Sarah nodded. “of course sir, I wasn’t expecting you to let me prance around the base in a sundress.” She giggled.
“Do you have a name?” He asked.
“Sarah,” she answered without hesitation. “It’s what my mother would have named me had I been born, um, a girl.” She said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.
There was a knock on the door and Shamira poked her head in; “Sir, the coffee is here if you want it,” she said quietly.
The colonel nodded; “Thank you Shamira, and please take a seat, we need to discuss something.”
Sarah looked surprised for a moment, but noticed the warm smile on Shamira’s face.
The two had been friends for a long time, but now she felt that might be tested.
”Um, Shamira” Sarah began. “I, uh…” She began but was cut off by Shamira grinning and waving her hand dismissively.
“It's ok honey, I heard through the door, you two weren’t very quiet, and I sorta suspected anyway. I’m just glad you’re going to be officially on our team now!” She smiled rising to hug Sarah.
Sarah couldn’t believe her luck, she seemed to be moving closer to realising her dream, and they weren’t baby steps… full leaps and bounds were being made by the moment it seemed.
“Shamira, can you sort out Sarah’s file for me and leave it on my desk so I can push the forms around? And perhaps you two should spend some time together, take the afternoon, Private Cohen, I’m sure I can make my own coffee for a few hours…” the colonel smiled in his grandfatherly way.
Before the colonel could change his mind, Shamira took Sarah’s hand and dragged her out of the office before she could protest.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into the old man today but be thankful!” Shamira grinned as they crossed the parade ground.
“So you knew?” Sarah half whispered.
“Oh of course” Laughed Shamira. “You look like a girl… You’re the only ‘man’” she gestured quotation marks and giggled. “In the unit, that doesn’t look like a goddamn hard case. You don’t seem gay. It was the logical conclusion. Plus you always seemed to like it when people thought you were a girl.”
“I guess” replied Sarah. “So a lot of people think I’m gay?”
”Most of the guys who know your um, biological sex, think you’re gay, the ones who don’t, think you’re a girl, and most of the girls don’t really mind. You’re whoever you are to us to be honest. Now things are cleared up it’s a whole lot easier!”
“I guess” Replied Sarah, still not entirely convinced. “So where are we going?”
“To my room silly. We got carte blanche to take the afternoon off, we are so going shopping!”
”I ah, should go get some civies then…” Sarah responded.
“Why? I’ve got loads in my room. And we’re the same size.”
“I uh don’t know about that…” replied a startled Sarah.
“Nonsense, I can’t be seen in public with such a shabby tomboy, now be a dear and doll yourself up for Mira?” giggled Shamira.
“Just don’t make me look silly, ok?” grimaced Sarah. “I don’t want to get laughed at…”
”Honey, I'd have to do more than put you in clothes you were destined for to make you look silly… it would take conscious effort on your part…” Smiled Mira putting her arm around Sarah.
When they arrived at Shamira’s Quarters, Sarah was handed a big fluffy white towel, and a collection of shampoos and conditioners, and banished to the bathroom.
As the water washed down her body, she began to wonder if this was really happening. It all seemed to right… Too easy. Life wasn’t meant to be easy was it?
Rinsing her hair she tied the towel around her chest and left the bathroom. Mira was in the process of changing out of her uniform and Sarah began to turn away.
“Oh don’t be so shy! Come in, we’re both girls here.” giggled Mira. Embarrassedly, Sarah came into the room and sat on Mira’s bed while she finished dressing.
After pulling on her jeans and a top, she threw a denim skirt and a spaghetti strapped top at Sarah and ordered her to dress.
Sarah just sat on Mira’s bed holding the items and underwear she had been passed, looking thoughtful.
“Are you going to get dressed, or do I have to do it for you?” Mira scolded jokingly with her hands on her hips.
“Um, I don’t know what to do.” Sarah whispered blushing.
“You haven’t worn women’s clothes before?” asked Mira looking honestly surprised. “I thought you were a girl inside? Don’t you all do that?”
“Um, I never had chance.” Replied Sarah quietly.
“Oh, sorry.” Said Mira; the smile disappearing from her face. “Let me help you then.”
After helping Sarah dress, Mira applied light makeup, and tousled her hair before announcing her project complete. Guiding her friend to a Mirror, She stood back smiling as Sarah stared dumfounded into the glass.
She couldn’t believe how she looked. It was amazing what a difference clothing made. She now realised how everyone saw her. As a her… There was no way someone would see her birth sex. She thanked god that she had been so blessed.
Before long they were walking across the parade ground towards Sarah’s quarters to collect her assault rifle before leaving the base. It was mandatory for Troops to carry their personal weapon when leaving the base during duty hours.
Sarah felt strange, but also a new freedom, she was finally getting a chance to be herself. It was exhilarating. She wondered what Ari would think when she arrived at their room.
She just prayed he wasn’t in.
Her padded bra gave her a tiny bust, which she felt extremely conscious about. Like they were the most visible part of her now. Her entire bodily awareness had been inverted by 4 simple garments.
Arriving at her quarters, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.
Ari was lying on his bed watching TV when she entered. “Wow Sarah, you look amazing!” Ari grinned.
Turning bright red she looked away. “I um, came to get my AR… I’m going into town with Shamira Cohen to do some shopping…. I uh, could you pass it?” She stammered.
Getting up from the bed, Ari walked over with her AR15 in hand still looking at her intently. “You really are beautiful, you know that?” he said handing her the rifle.
Blushing, she quietly muttered a thank you without looking at him. Ari hugged her and grinned “Knock em dead kid.”
She smiled at him and turned to leave and was greeted by Mira grinning like a fool.
”Don’t even say it.” She said as they walked down the corridor and out into the bright sunlight.
“What?” asked Mira in mock outrage.
“He’s like a brother to me, I couldn’t.” Beamed Sarah.
“Ah well more for me then.” Grinned Mira playfully elbowing Sarah.
Laughing like schoolgirls, the two made their way out the main gate and towards the shopping district of the city.
She had almost forgotten to be afraid…
Comments
Better & Better!
Now this is a fairytale! Our Corporal Cinderella has been taken under a fairy godmother's wing and is off to get her, uh, sun-dress?
Keep up the good work, Alyssa.
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
I don't want to jump the gun (no pun intended)
but, unless I've missed something, I don't buy it. It's all happening a bit too fast and cleanly. No one's thrown any toys yet and I'm sure the boss would have done. Mind you, I'm prepared to be corrected - and the last line was a bit chilling.
And if most of the squad thinks David is female, maybe there's some medical thingy afoot.
But taking her AR on a shopping trip while dressed in civvies???
Susie
Plausable
That's why I called it a fairy tale, Susan. But if the country has protection in place regarding sexual orientation, and a response I just read for chapter 2 says they do, then I would expect somebody with the rank of colonel to be well-versed in it as part of his officer training. The fact that this is not the colonel's first encounter of this type would mean he is already aware of what the procedure is.
I don't expect everybody to be as accepting, but Israel does have a tradition of equality in it's armed services, so I'm not unduly suprised.
As for taking her rifle, as far as I know it was standard procedure, at least at one time. Alyssa doesn't say exactly what the time frame is, but it does seem plausable. Since most young men and women serve a tour in the IDF, the sight of a couple of young women out shopping while carrying an automatic weapon is probably not given a second thought; what with a base nearby.
According to what Alyssa has told me via PM, she has the background needed to make this believable.
KJT
Add: The sad thing is that what should be the norm is so unlikely that when we see it in a story we don't buy it. :-(
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Funny enough
it can be that easy. I never tried my old Air Force Unit, but when I went back to my high school to get my grade papers corrected, they never even batted an eyelid...
I stand corrected
I'm quite good at being wrong.
Knowing virtually nothing about things military, I am content to defer to those with knowledge or who have done the research. Just please don't slap me too hard, I bruise so easily!
I am enjoying the story, though. Even more so after learning so much from the other comments.
Susie
Aren't we all!
Not beating up on you here, just passing this along for everybody's edification. I got an email from PB, who was in the Canadian military and part of the multinational forces sent to patrol the Golan Heights with the U.N. The sight of I.D.F. members shopping in civies while carrying their weapons is/was quite the norm; as well as Israeli settlers.
Apparently Israel believes in real gun control - hitting what you aim at.
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Just Think of It As...
...a real "Ready Reserve," or a "Standing Army."
I'm not that well-versed on the subject, but I'm pretty sure I once read that it wasn't an optional thing there if you were active military on leave. It was(/is?) required. "Okay, you can have a pass to go on leave, but you're still required to defend the country on an instant's notice, so bring your gun." Israel is a tiny country, both in size and in population, compared to its outspokenly disaffected neighbors. They've repulsed* two all-out invasion attempts by combined forces much, much bigger than them. I think they're pretty cognizant that if they let their guard down, there's likely to be another attempt, so they need to keep as many people under arms as they can.
__________________
* They did a bit better than that, actually. They even siezed territory belonging to their attackers, an ironic humiliation. Of course, the long aftermath has been quite mixed. Some territory was traded back for peace treaties. Other territory came with large, angry populations of aggrieved refugees, which has been distinctly more problematic.
a higher calling
Here's another series I never miss now. Captivating. In a genre that sometimes seems to equate finding one's female self with becoming an absolute fashion plate and a good consumer ("You have a lot to learn about owning lots and lotsa shoes, little Sis!") it's refreshing to have a t.g. heroine who---in addition to her own journey of self discovery---is dedicated to something bigger than herself, her own concerns. I'm not romanticising war, I'm just saying it makes for an unusual and interesting and very human tale, that challenges my sometimes condescending attitudes about soldiers and their "twistedly macho" motivations ....... That ominous last line there makes me suspect that this shopping expedition may be no typical trip to the mall.
~~~hugs, Laika
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
Macho soldiers
Yeah, gotta watch out for those "twistedly macho" women soldiers of the IDF. ;-) Didn't Ari tell Sarah she was more feminine than some of the female soldiers? Bet they wouldn't take her shopping for shoes!
Oh, no! My new shoes don't match my Uzi!
Not macho but definitely twisted,
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Hooray for the Colonel and
Hooray for the Colonel and Shamira. They both accepted Sarah for who she is and will stand by her as does Ari. There is another country that also has a reserve force of the entire male population, that is Switzerland. All males from 18-65 must be in either their regular military or their reserves and maintain weapons in their homes. I should qualify this comment as that is the way it was in the 1970's when I was stationed in Europe.
J-Lynn
Nice Work
Your dialog is very smooth and the flow is even. I can feel Sarah's pain right through my screen.
marie c.
marie c.
Nicely Real
I am really enjoying this story. It is plausible and feels real. Writing good military stuff can be difficult, especially when it is something most people don't have any connection to it.
I have a good friend of mine who used to be in the IDF. She told stories of working the Border and this story has a similar feel.
Keep up the good work.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
A Star is Born!
Alyssa, this is great, real, believable! Leaving aside grammatical gaffes and typos (you should proofread more before you post, dear), ‘tis a great story you are weaving. If TG fiction has a future in the mainstream, it will only happen when enough of us break out of formula writing. Putting TG people in situations like Sarah’s and working them out is absolutely ‘spot on.’ Don’t make it too easy for Sarah, though, or we will all be a bit disappointed. Hugs, Daphne
Daphne
Good story so far, but...
I like the story so far, but I do have one comment to make. A sniper in the IAF would be armed with a Galil Sniper Rifle. Or a Barret 50 cal. The GALAT'Z was produced in the mid 1980's as the sniping modified version of the Galil 7.62 mm Assault Rifle. The AR15 you mention in the story is a semi-automatic civilian weapon commonly available in the U.S. and would not be used by a member of a modern armed force. At the very least they would be armed with an assault rifle capable of full auto fire. Like an AR16 or AK 74. BTW, the Galil is better than either of those.
About Israeli gun control, yes, IAF members carry their service weapons at all times. As do a lot of civilians.
Anyhow, enough of my nit picking. On with the story...
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I'm old, I'm grouchy, and if you don't like me this way, fluff yourself! *grin*
Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue
Sayeret matkal use different
Sayeret matkal use different rilfes to main sniper sections.... so an arctic warfare rifle is not uncommon.... most special ops units the world over have them in armoury somewhere....
As for the ar.... Ar15 is a generic term for m4/m16/carbine, nearly all soldiers i know refer to them as such, plus, the ar15 is not a civilian rifle... theres a civilan version of it. the ar15 was Eugene stoners original name for that line of rifle... as for the others, the galil isnt used today, the ak74 is just? wrong? and ar16 is made up ;) Trust me hon. i know this one bit...
The Road to Haifa - Chapter 3
Glad to see Mira helping Sarah.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine