Author's Note: Well the muse has been in high gear all weekend, thankfully I've been having a bit more time to write. So far the story is still going really strong, and once again thank you all so much for following this. Hoping you enjoy.-~Rebecca

The next morning as Sam and I left my house I asked her the question that had been bugging me since her text last night, “I was wondering… Why do you want me to go with you on Friday? Would it be okay for me to go? Aren’t those supposed to be private for the safety of the group?”

She glanced at me with a slightly raised eyebrow, it must have been something I wasn’t supposed to know. She responded, “Usually they are invite only by the mediator… Occasionally, like every few months or so they hold a ‘loved one’s group, which includes friends or family. Since you were my friend, I just wanted to take you… The group had been worrying about my first day back at school… So…”

I smiled at her, it made sense to me now. Most of the panic I had felt earlier passed away just about as quickly as it had set in last night. “So, you want to show me off? Is that it?”

Now she looked slightly uncomfortable, “No that’s not it! I mean… I… Look I was scared of going back like this… As the day progressed, it just got worse… While nobody said anything directly me, hell they didn’t say anything at all to me… Then it was like you came back from the dead, and walked into my Science class… Unlike everyone else, you didn’t judge me… So maybe I do want to show you off… It’s not every day a girl gets to have her valiant knight ride in on his great stallion to save the day, you know.”

Remember me saying how I have a gift of being an ass without even trying? Yeah… So, this was getting too serious, and I had to do something to defuse the situation. She might see me as some hero on a gallant mission to save the day, but that wasn’t me. I wasn’t any kind of hero… I was just some scrawny runt that couldn’t even be honest with himself let alone those closest around me… I tried to joke, “You must have mixed me up for someone else, because there isn’t any way that could have been me… Maybe if it was like a My Little Pony or something, but there’s no way I could ever get on a stallion.” I tried to chuckle, but it was horribly half-hearted, even to my own ears.

She stopped and looked at me angrily, “Jordan don’t do that!”

Confused I asked, “Do what? I was just making a joke.”

She scolded, “Stop making fun of yourself, it’s not funny!”

I argued, “Well it kind of is Sam, look at me I’m a runt… That’s the truth… I’d rather joke about it then be miserable all the time…”

She countered, “Well you’re miserable about something almost all the time! You do a good job of hiding it, but I’ve known you for too long Jordan Taylor.” She softly put her hand on my shoulder as she said much softer, “I know something is bothering you. It’s something pretty big… I want you to know you can trust me Jordan. I promise…”

I felt the moisture start to form on my lower eyelashes. I wiped my eyes and tried to sniff away the tears forming and said, “Sam… I know I can trust you… It’s just… While I’m glad to be alive… What was done to save me… I lost so much… I can’t…” My voice caught and there was no amount of sniffing that would stop the tears, Sam quickly pulled me into a hug while I took about half a minute to compose myself. As I pulled back from her, “I promise you, when I’m ready… You’ll be the first to know… I’m sorry… that’s the best I can do…”

She pulled me back into a hug and whispered, “Okay Jordie… When you’re ready I’ll be here…”

I nodded into her shoulder and feeling really short at that moment, I let out a watery chuckle, “And trust me being short is the least of my problems.”

I felt her nod her head and she softly giggled, as she pulled back she looked deep into my eyes and told me, “Okay, if you say so… I do wish one thing though… I wish for a second that you could feel as big as I see you… You’re a bigger person than most Jordan, that I promise you…”

I nod, afraid to say anything else because I was afraid of starting to cry again… She pulled out a couple of Kleenexes out of her purse, or satchel looking thing and handed them to me. Once I composed myself I thanked her, and we continued in silence to school, both of us lost in our own thoughts. More than once I caught Sam watching me with concern, I tried to ignore that, and also try to ignore my damn emotions. After telling each other bye, we split and went to our prospective homerooms. I realized at that moment just how much I was dreading the rest of the day, at least until I met Sam again in our last class… Trying to put on a brave face, and bury my emotions at the same time, I pushed on through the door.

Sitting down next to Teddy, he asked, “Hey, where were you yesterday? I didn’t see you at lunch or in study hall.”

I shrugged, “Yesterday I got told they needed me to swap my “B” schedule around to help another student.”

That perked up his curiosity, he asked, “Who needed your help? You pretty much just came back from the dead yourself…”

I hesitated to tell him who, not because I was ashamed. I wasn’t ashamed in the least. I was afraid if he said something extraordinarily stupid that there wouldn’t be enough students in here to remove me off of him, especially in the mood I was in. Taking a deep breath to try to keep my calm, I told him “Sam… Figure I came back from the dead, and she’s now a girl… Everyone had been avoiding her and when I bumped into her in Science, it seemed like she really needed a friend.”

He kind of snorted, “Really?!? Sam?”

Coldly I turned and looked at him, “Teddy, I’d be extremely careful if I were you. Sam has been a friend for a long time, and she still is, and will continue to be my friend.”

Teddy could tell I was serious, he quit laughing at least, “Jord, don’t you think its weird that he’s come back saying he’s a girl now?”

I snarl, “Teddy, Sam is a girl… SHE’s also my friend… Do you remember how I take it when people bully or insult my friends? Or do you need a reminder?”

He looked down on me, “Dude, do you really think you could take me now? I’m not the same kid I used to be.”

I started to stand up and said, “Do you want to find out? Cause you know that I won’t stop.”

He held his hands up in a peaceful gesture, “Dude, calm down… I mean… It just seems weird to me… I didn’t mean anything about it okay?”

I eased myself back down, but I was still pissed. I asked, “Have you tried to talk to her since she’s been back?” He just shook his head, so I told him, “You should… She’s a really cool person Teddy…”

Something had told me that no matter the physical upgrade Teddy had gotten he was still the same kid I knew. I still was amazed that he would back down from someone as tiny as myself. I hoped that it was our friendship that made him back down, at least the friendship we used to have. As much as I hated to admit it, I honestly don’t see that kind of friendship in our future anymore. Considering how badly I had wanted to rekindle things exactly how I had left them, that thought didn’t upset me that badly. Maybe hoping I could make things just like they were, even for a short time, was stupid and foolish… It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called either of those things.

I didn’t say much to Teddy after that, not even when the bell sounded to go to our first class. I was still slightly mad at him, but quickly realized I was mostly disappointed in him. No matter how big and muscular he was now, he was still that scared guy afraid of his own shadow. I started to feel guilty for confronting him like I did, but I was feeling really protective of Sam, and the guilt quickly subsided.

Nothing exciting happened for my next two classes, well unless one finds English and Algebra exciting… As if that’s even possible. Walking to lunch I was trying to decide what I was going to do at lunch. With the confrontation with Teddy this morning, I really felt unsure sitting with the jocks… I didn’t really belong with them anymore, and a small part of me wasn’t really wanting to fit into their group.

As I grabbed yet another plate from the pasta line, I heard Rick yell out my name. Looking at the table there was a few of the freshmen guys already there, and they were all looking at me, well all of them but Teddy. Sighing I figured why not get it over with, so I went over to them and sat down.

“Sup guys?”, I asked casually.

Rick answered, “So where were you at man, we missed seeing you yesterday.”

I glanced over at Teddy, and while he wasn’t making eye contact with me, he must not have filled them in about what was said this morning. At least he had that going for him, maybe he was worried I’d confront him again… Who knows… I looked at the guys and thought, fuck it, if I get my ass kicked because they insult Sam, I’ll just get my ass kicked. Wouldn’t be the first time, and I highly doubt it will be the last. I sigh, “Principal asked me to swap around my “B” schedule to help out a student. Before you ask, it’s Sam… I agreed to do it, because it seems all her friends dumped her cold…”

Only two of the guys started to chuckle, the rest, including Teddy just looked down at their plate of food. Jason, he was a second string back when I played, laughed, “So you ditched us to hang out with the freak?”

I stood up glaring at him, “Fuck you Jason! How funny do you think that is? You know what’s even funnier than that asshole, is that even with Sam transitioning she’s still a better ballplayer than you’ll ever be… Isn’t that funny? Huh second string?”

“Go to hell pipsqueak!” he all but shouted, “I’m a starter not you… Who’s not even on the team anymore if I remember right.”

“You’re only starting because I got sick, if I didn’t you’d still be stuck where you belong, back in the dugout where you can go back to picking your nose.”, I yell back. I don’t even register that he’s got me by about five inches and at least sixty pounds. It probably wouldn’t matter to me even if it did register.

Rick stood up, “Enough you two!” He glared at me, “Dude do you have a death-wish?” Then he spun around to Jason who was gloating, “You think this is funny? You know how Jordan is, you’d have made me pick between you… Jason, you would have lost.”

Jason yelled, “You’d pick that nobody over me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Much more calmly Rick said, “Jordan is right about one thing… If he hadn’t have gotten sick, you’d still be in the dugout… One more word and I’ll talk to the Coach about this Jason… Remember I’m the freshman captain… Don’t try me, it won’t be hard to train a new catcher.”

Jason and his buddy, Nick, stood up and took their plates and moved to a different table. Both of them glaring at me, I was just glaring back at them when Rick ordered, “Sit Jordan, now!”

I looked up at him surprised, “Geez okay, Dad…” I couldn’t resist the jab, but I sat back down anyway. I was actually impressed though, it seems Rick had changed a lot more than just growing bigger.

At that Rick snorted, “Dude you really haven’t changed one bit, have you?”

I shook my head, “Not really… I still look eleven…”

He sat his hand on my shoulder, “Sorry dude, but that’s not what I mean, and you know it. Even if you’re a runt, you’ve still got the heart of a lion.”

I sigh, “Not sure what good it does me in the frame of a housecat…”

“Don’t go there…”, He scolded. “That fight that you have in you is what pulled you through and kept you with us. I hope that never changes.”

Tom chipped in, “Damn straight Jord.”

Changing the subject, Rick said, “So you moved your schedule to help Sam?” I just nodded, “That’s cool Jord… You two were always close… I’m glad to see she’s got you there for her.”

I retorted, “Well she’d have more than just me if her friends didn’t just drop her like a hot potato.”

I could see both Rick and Tom wince at my accusation. Rick said, “Yeah we had that coming… It’s just… awkward I guess is the best way I can say it… I don’t fault her or anything… I mean I knew Sam as a guy almost my entire school career… I don’t know what to say to her… It’s just…”

“It’s just fucking weird is what it is!”, Teddy blurted out. Finally deciding to look up from his food. “I’m sorry Jordan, but it creeps me the fuck out… Go ahead and try to kick my ass, but I’m sorry it is!” He then stood up and stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving his tray on the table. I started to get up to go after him, but Rick put his hand back on my shoulder and held me in my seat.

“Just let him go Jord.”, he told me. “You can’t get through to him by threatening him…”

I groaned, “Ugh I know… Rick, you need to talk to Sam… If you don’t know what to say I have an idea, start with “Hi Sam, sorry I’ve been a douche…”

Rick laughed, “Well that would be a way to get a conversation started. So… How’s she doing? I heard Dawson is trying to recruit her for fast-pitch.”

I nodded, “She’s doing pretty good. I’ve only practiced with her yesterday… Her fastball is impressive already, I can’t wait to work on her other pitches.”

Both of them looked surprised, Tom asked, “So you’re actually helping her more than just hanging out at school?”

I nodded, but glared at Tom, but he stopped me short, “That’s actually pretty awesome… I’d like to see you two in action again… That was a beautiful thing to watch.”

Rick laughed, “Yeah when you two were in your zone, the rest of us didn’t ever have anything to do but watch… At least with you helping her, we know that she’ll make the team.”

I felt better about Rick and Tom, but Teddy still pissed me off. Rick was right, threatening him wouldn’t change anything… As I was getting up from the table Rick told me, “Jord, tell Sam we said hey and good luck.”

I smiled, “No Rick I won’t. You talk to her, both of you… You know what you’ll find out when you do?” At their blank stares I said, “That Sam is still Sam… She’s just better now… Just talk to her alright… If not, I’ll kick both of your asses.” I grinned.

Both of then chuckled, but Rick said, “I definitely don’t want that. Seeya in the gym squirt.”
I laughed and nodded and headed on my way… My way straight to hell, I mean P.E... I can’t believe just three days ago I wanted this, and wanted it desperately… Of course, getting hit as hard as I did in one of your boobs really changes a person… I chuckled as I wondered if there might be a Hallmark card for that…

{~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}

As much as I was dreading this I walked into the locker room, thankful I was early. That way I could go ahead and get changed before a big enough crowd was there to possibly witness anything. I quickly changed and went into the gym to wait, not wanting any more conflict with Teddy. It would push Rick into the middle of it, and that’s not what I wanted to do. So, I waited and stretched some. With all the walking and softball practice most of my muscles were tight and sore, but again that was good. That was why I was wanting so desperately come to this class, so I could get in shape… With the stuff I’m doing with Sam, maybe I should seriously start rethinking the waiver.

It was about that time when the guys started pouring out of the locker room. I noticed Rick walking in with Teddy and talking to each other, Rick gave me a nod, but Teddy completely ignored me… Which was fine with me right now. Then my favorite person came out, Lurch… The guy that beaned me two days ago, well at rollcall I learned his name was Brett… Personally I thought Lurch fit him better, but maybe that was just me…

Today after we did some stretching and some light exercises, the main form of torture was basketball… I mean I liked basketball okay, but I’ve always been short, so I was severely handicapped. Today’s game was one on one, and just my luck I got paired with Brett… That put me at a foot handicap… It was weird at first, he got to shoot first and yeah, he scored, and didn’t even have to run around. He could just shoot over my head and I couldn’t do squat. I was pissed, after his fourth shot I made a risky move and managed to steal the ball from him.

He just sighed, “Okay runt, do your best…” He looked bored, which just made me angrier…

Between that and my natural competitive nature, I managed to fake and get around him to score… Not just once but three times… Then I realized he was just going easy on me… So, I started talking smack to him… I just wanted him to try to win at least… I actually saw it when his temper flared, it didn’t take much actually… I hadn’t ever seen anyone loose it that quickly… Needless to say I got shoved around and fouled every shot I attempted… After the fifth time I hit the floor, Coach intervened and sent me to the bleachers, so he could give the guy the riot act in his office. That only caused Brett to glare at me even worse… I really do seem to have a way with people… Instant asshole here remember? Just add attitude…

Rick came over to check on me, but I shooed him away… I was fine, and after warning me to be careful, he headed back to resume his match with Teddy. Once Coach came back out he sent Brett to run laps and stuck me shooting hoops by myself… This sucked worse than getting knocked down every thirty seconds…

Thankfully Coach let me hit the showers first, since I was shooting by myself… Guess that’s one perk of my condition. I was washed, dried, and dressed before the first guy came into the locker room. I just went back into the Gym to wait out the bell. Even thought I didn’t really get hurt today, this was worse than Monday…

I was so relieved when I walked into the Science room. Sam was already there, and before she saw me her expression looked like she was having as fun of a day as I was having. I was already smiling at her when she looked up and she smiled back.

“So, your day looks like it’s been as fun as mine.”, I tell her jokingly.

She sighed, “Ugh… At least its better now.” She gave me a small half smile.

I just smiled and nodded, “Agreed.”

Class was boringly normal, and thankfully none of the students laughed or caused any issues for Sam. I’d have probably snapped at them, I had been wound up tighter than a snare drum since homeroom with Teddy. I think we both needed a calm relaxed evening, since we both kept our conversation away from topics that would set either of us off. Mostly we talked about things we could do to maximize our pitching practice. I was thankful for the reprieve from having my emotions pulled every which way. I also felt that after she saw my meltdown earlier Sam was playing it safe with me and keeping the conversation light. She even let me carry my backpack home too, even if she did keep a close eye on me.

Once home, we resumed what was quickly becoming our routine. She sat and waited for me to drink my slime, and she gave me a few minutes to rest a bit before going out to practice. It didn’t take her too long until she hit her groove, maybe twenty or so pitches and with her arm being rested she was nailing the glove… After maybe the fourth bucket rotation I suggested we start working on another pitch… Even with the glove, my hand was killing me from the strength of her throws…

We spent the rest of our evening practicing her change-up, she was able to throw a few more rotations of the buckets since she wasn’t having to throw as hard. Thankfully with all of her practice from baseball and with the adjustments she’s already made for fast-pitch she adapted quickly. I hoped by tomorrow we’d be working on her curve balls, so we could give a good showing to the softball captains on Saturday. Another positive was that I was also able to hold out longer from having to using the stool to sit on, while my legs still burned, I was at least lasting longer… Any progress was a good thing.

I visited with my parents at dinner, and as I was telling them about my day I decided to leave out the confrontation with Teddy. I hoped he would come around, but I was okay if he didn’t… As long as he didn’t let me hear him dissing on Sam at least. Once the dishes were cleaned up I realized how tired I was, and not the excruciating exhausted I had been used to feeling. This was just a good kind of tired, if that made sense. To me it meant I worked my body enough that I was making gains… I gave my parents a hug good night and went upstairs for my nightly shower and inspection.

After the shower and I was dried off I was in front of the full-length mirror in my room. I could see a difference in my muscle tone since I started walking a month ago. I quickly pulled up my picture from then and compared to what I was seeing now. Yeah, I was skinny still, but I had definite muscles forming, mostly in my thighs and calves. I also noticed my ass was getting more firm… I mean I wasn’t all muscle bound, but I was definitely firming up. My upper body though was still pretty skinny… Time to start trying some home exercises for my upper body… With the extra pudge forming behind my nipples I decided to start doing some push-ups. Maybe strengthening my pecs could draw some of the ‘fat’ that had formed… I was drawing up my PJ bottoms when I heard my phone ding.

{Sam text} *** Just wanted to say good night, and thanks for today. ***

{Me text} *** Good night to you and sweet dreams Miss Wilkins :-) ***

{Sam text} *** lol that makes me sound old! Sweet dreams to you Jordan. I’m just glad tomorrow is a ‘B’ Day. ***

{Me text} *** That makes two of us… Cya tomorrow ***

I lay there reading her messages, and then quickly pull up a picture that I had snapped earlier. I had told her I needed one for the caller ID on my phone. I ended up taking six or seven because she kept making faces. I paused on one where she was laughing and sticking her tongue out at me… She looked so happy and carefree in that moment… I promised myself that I would do whatever I could to make sure she looked like that as much as possible… I stared at the picture a bit longer, and then let out a deep sigh and turned off the lights, and wished for peaceful dreams.

 
 
To be continued.