Jordan had been given a second chance to live after overcoming a very unique medical condition. While the procedure saves his life, the side effects that he faces are the last things a 14 year old boy would want. Convinced with what he knows lies ahead, is it better than the alternative?
Better Than The Alternative?
Chapter 8

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Author's Note:Well the muse was highly productive this weekend. I want to say thanks to all of you following this. I'm so pleased that you all are enjoying. With that, here we go. Enjoy {hugs}-~Rebecca

The ride home was quiet, Mom was obviously concerned about me. Dr. Byrnes had called her in after I lost it and she had stayed with me the rest of the session just in case it happened again. Thankfully I was able to hold it together for the rest of the session. Of course, with him witnessing my meltdown my sessions got increased to twice a month instead of once a month. He did try to tell me how I needed to meet Dr. Rodrick, I did get some amusement when I told him I had already met him. I confessed that I wasn’t as opposed to transferring to him as I used to be, but I still wasn’t ready to do it. I still was having a hard time thinking I was transgender, even though I was actually transitioning.

No sooner did we get home, I rushed upstairs to change into my practice clothes and sent a text to Sam to let her know I was home. I couldn’t help but smile when she responded a few seconds later that she was on her way over. I was putting my equipment in my bag when the doorbell rang. I heard mom getting the door and a minute later Sam bounded into my room.

“Hey Jordie!”, she said as she came over and gave me a hug. I felt the tension from the morning instantly melt away. “Hey are you okay?”

“Yeah, better now at least.”, I tell her as she released me from the hug.

With her brows wrinkled up, she asked, “What’s wrong? If you don’t feel up to this today, we can call it off.”

I shook my head, “No… I need to do this today, you can’t imagine how badly I need to do this…”

She pulls me over to the bed and sits us both down, “What happened this morning? You had an appointment… Is everything okay? You’re not getting sick again, are you?”

Seeing how worried she was, I told her, “Oh no! I’m not getting sick, it wasn’t a medical appointment… It was… It was with my therapist…” I felt my eyes drift to the floor, I just couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

“Oh…”, she softly said, then she put her hand under my chin and raised my head to look up at her. “Jordan, it’s okay to have a therapist… Remember I’ve got one too, you met him last night remember?” She giggled softly, which did cause the corners of my mouth to turn up in a slight smile. Sam really did have an infectious laugh.

I nodded softly, “Yeah I know… It’s just a little different though… Dr. Rodrick is helping you be, well you… Dr. Byrnes is trying to help me get over what…” I paused, I immediately felt my chest start to tighten.

After a moment Sam asked, “It’s about what you said the other day? That you lost a lot with what they did to save you?” I nodded, which she continued, “Looks to me like you won a lot more than you lost… You’re still here, and while it’s a bit selfish… I’ve still got you here…”

With her smile I could tell she was at least partially making a joke, I smirked and asked, “Only just a bit?”

She giggled, but then got more serious, “Okay maybe it’s a lot selfish… It also means that you still have me okay?”

I softly said, “I know.” When I felt a tear run down my cheek. This is one of the things that was bugging the hell out of me. I wasn’t upset, I was relieved, no make that happy that Sam was here, and yet I’m starting to cry again… I think that was one of the most frustrating things about all these damn emotions, they just didn’t make any sense to me. It honestly made me feel like I was going crazy… At least I already have a therapist…

Sam asked, “Hey what’s wrong?”

I shook my head, “Nothing is wrong… Sam… Thank you for still being here…” She then gently wrapped her arms around me in a hug that I readily accepted. We sat that way for several minutes until I recovered, as I leaned back and wiped my eyes I told her, “Sorry about that…”

“Hey don’t apologize. I don’t mind at all…”, she said trying to console me.

“Thanks Sam.”. I tell her. We sat there for a few moments longer before I really felt the need to change the subject, I ask her, “So you ready to show the girls what you can do?”

She nodded, “You mean what WE can do right?” I had thought this was basically a try out for her, and at my confused expression, she continued, “Jordan we’re a team, right? Even if we’re not going to play the same sport.”

I grinned at her, realizing what she meant, and I told her, “You bet your ass we’re a team.” I then held my hand up in a fist, which she just grinned and gave me a fist bump.

She smirked, “Let’s go show them what we’re made of.”

“Okay… First things first… Before we go, I need to drink my slime…”, I joked.

She laughed but at the same time a visible shudder ran through her body. Making a face she said, “You are so weird… Only you could act excited about that…” I couldn’t help myself, I giggled… Yeah… I giggled…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and I were the first to make it to the practice field. My mom dropped us off, with our gear, neither of us thought it would be good for us to try to carry it to the school. To pass the time until other members of the team showed up, we just tossed the ball back and forth. I was still working on my stamina, so we didn’t want me catching until the girls showed. I still wasn’t able to throw the softball as well as I used to be able to throw a baseball, but I was thankfully doing much better than I was when we started a week ago.

We had been tossing the ball around for about fifteen minutes when the first two girls showed. It was Shelly and Rachel that came walking up, each carrying their own gear bag. Unlike during school, where it was rumored that they were a couple, here they were walking hand in hand. I guess being a Saturday and not a normal school day let them feel a bit freer to let it show. While our school had a very strict policy about bullying, I guess due to some small-minded students, they felt like they couldn’t even hold hands during school. While PDA was frowned upon, most couples held hands, and nothing was ever said. That both pissed me off and made me sad at the same time that they felt like they had to hide it at school.

We both greeted them, and they joined us in tossing the ball around while waiting on the others. Shelly informed us that a few more were going to come out that we had originally planned. It seemed that they all had seen our game videos and were excited to see Sam in action. After another fifteen minutes or so, the rest of the girls had shown up and we ended up having enough to actually field a team. I was impressed at the drive the girls showed, while Sam and I had always practiced during the off-season none of our previous teammates ever did.

I was introduced to the other girls that I hadn’t met yet, and it wasn’t lost on me that I was the smallest person out here. After a moment of regret, I let it pass and focused on what was important, showing these girls just how good Sam was. The girls were wanting the batting practice and had told us to do our best to strike them out. Sam and I just grinned, after all that has been what we were best at. As I was putting on my catcher gear I motioned Sam to come up to me.

“For our warm-up, don’t throw the really fast stuff until I signal for it okay?”, I told her.

She gave me an evil grin, “Just like old times then?”

“You better believe it.” I told her, matching her grin.

We started our warmup with all the girls watching. Even with me calling for her to throw the heat, I never signaled for it. So, while she was throwing pretty hard, it wasn’t anywhere near what I knew she was capable of. I was watching the girls off to the side, practicing their swings trying to get the timing down of her pitches. I could barely hide my grin as we practiced, I could see Sam’s matching grin from the mound. I did notice that with her being able to push off of a proper pitching mound, and not the make-shift one in my back yard, she was able to put more force behind even her slower pitches. I was almost scared to see what she could do when she really opened up.

Shelly was the first up to bat and she was smirking as she said, “So, are you two ready for this?” Shelley was the team’s power hitter, we all knew that. So, it was no surprise that she was as confident as she was when she pointed with her bat to Kira in the outfield.

I smirked, “Yeah, but the question is, are you ready? I can’t wait to see you try to hit her fastball.” I then signaled Sam for her change up.

Sam smiled as she wound up like she was throwing her fastball, and Shelly ended up swinging well before the ball passed the plate. She looked down at me in confusion, so I smirked, “By the way that wasn’t it…”

Shelly actually chuckled, “You, sneaky little shit…”

I just grinned, after all that was part of my job. To not only read each batter and when I could, to provide some misdirection. I laughed as I told her, “You haven’t seen anything yet.” I then signaled Sam to throw her curve to my right as I acted like I was stretching my glove hand. She grinned and nodded as she wound up her pitch.

No sooner did Sam release the pitch it came out of her hand like it was a bad pitch and was going to be a beeline to Shelly, she squealed and started to step away to keep from being hit. No sooner did she step back the ball started to curve and as it passed over the plate into my glove I said, “Looked like a strike to me…”

Shelly looked a little rattled, but she glanced as Sam and then at me with a look mixed with admiration and a bit of frustration. As she stepped back into the batter box I looked at Sam and signaled for her fastball… Her real one… By the time Shelly registered that it was a fastball she had barely started her swing as the ball hit my glove. I grimaced at how much it had stung, even with the glove. I told a stunned Shelly, “Now that was her fastball… Looks like you’re out.”

Even though she struck out Shelly was grinning as she exclaimed, “Holy shit… That was freaking impressive.”

Most of the other girls seemed stunned as well as they glanced at Sam. In her first three pitches she struck out the team’s best hitter. We swapped out batters for the next hour, at least until my legs had gotten too tired to keep squatting. All the girls had been informed about my fatigue issues and why. Thankfully no one made an issue and unlike when on the baseball team the girls were supportive of me, even if I wasn’t a teammate… I could only imagine how much the baseball team would give me a hard time about it… It seems the girl’s idea of motivating each other was a lot nicer than the guys would be… I kind of liked it, the team felt a lot closer to any I had remembered. I was thankful that Sam was going to get to be a part of this…

None of the other girls fared much better than Shelly had, I mean they did get a few base hits in the first half an hour once they had gotten better timing of Sam’s true fastball. Unfortunately for them, the last half an hour though… Sam and I had found our groove, and not a single base hit was made.

We spent another hour doing fielding drills. Sam would stand off to the side and toss the balls for me to hit so the rest of the girls could practice their fielding. It had been awhile since I had been able to swing a bat, and even though it was a softball bat it didn’t take me long to get a feel for it. Back when I had been playing, I never was a power hitter. I just didn’t have the size for it, but one thing I was, was accurate. Because of my smaller stature, my strike zone was a much smaller target for the pitcher to aim at. I always got a lot more singles than I got struck out.

We had been out there for slightly over two hours when I had to call it quits. I was just totally worn out. Between the catching and hitting, my entire body was sore and exhausted. It honestly felt good and judging from the all the girls they were ready to call it quits as well. All of us had worked up a good sweat and Sam was talking to the other girls when I decided to go lie down in the dugout and get out of the sun. I had been resting for about five minutes when Shelly came up and handed me a bottle of water.

“Hey, looks like you could use that.”, she told me.

Taking the cold bottle, I first held it up to my forehead and I told her, “Thanks… Oh and thanks for coming out here for Sam… It means a lot to her…”

She motioned for me to sit up, so she could sit beside me. As she sat down she said, “She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?”

I nod, “Yeah, she’s been my best friend for almost as long as I can remember.”

“From what I can tell she’s lucky to have you as a friend.”, she told me smiling. Then a sad look passed over her face as she continued, “From what I can tell most of her friends turned their back on her… Which is a shame, she’s a really sweet girl. How are those friends treating you now, since you didn’t turn your back on her?”

I answered, “About the same I guess… Well not the same as before I got sick… It’s just different now I guess… Everyone’s changed so much since I got sick… I feel like I’ve been sorta left behind, ya know… Except for Sam… She’s the only one that doesn’t make me feel like that…”

“I’m sure that once you rejoin the team, things will go back to the way it was.”, she encouraged.

That just reminded me that I wouldn’t be going back to baseball, I looked down and said, “Yeah maybe… You’re probably right…”

She said, surprised, “Wait… You’re not going to try out for the team, are you?” I guess she could read the answer on my face, because she asked, “Why not? From what we saw just today, You’re a hell of a player… They would be lucky to have you…”

I mumbled, “Yeah… Well with my health stuff I’ve gone through, this is about as big as I’m going to get… Besides, like I said everyone’s changed so much… I don’t think I’d fit into the team anymore is all…”

She shook her head, “Jordan, everyone changes… You’ve probably changed a lot more than you think.”

I shook my head, “I don’t think so… I don’t know… I mean, I almost feel like I’m trying to be the guy I was from before… Except that it doesn’t seem to fit me anymore… So, I’m just trying to figure out who I am and what fits now… It’s just so damn confusing…”

She looked at me sadly for a few moments before she said, “Well from what I’ve seen, you’re a guy who has been here for a friend. Someone who’s playing a sport none of the other guys would dare try… You’ve also worked yourself past exhaustion in doing so… I can tell that you were worn out half an hour ago, but you just kept going…” I started to argue, but she stopped me, “No let me finish. You’ve done that for a friend, that’s not something most people would do for a friend… You also helped us all out at the same time… I don’t know who you’re trying to be, but… I like the person you are now Jordan… You’re a hell of a good friend to Sam… And if you don’t mind, I’d like to be your friend too…”

I felt myself start to get choked up slightly, I just asked, “Really?”

She smiled and nodded, then said, “Yeah… You can never have too many good friends… Look we’re going to go pack up the rest of the stuff. You rest up some, and Rachel and I will give you two a ride home okay?”

I smiled up at her, “Thanks Shelly… I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem Jordan, just think about what I said though… You already know who you are… You just need to realize it.”, she said right as she ducked out of the dugout, leaving me there with nothing but my thoughts and a cold bottle of water.

I had been lying there for a few minutes and was debating getting up to give everyone a hand when I heard some of the girls yelling. I hopped up and sprinted out of the dugout to see what was going on. I found Sam crying and a few of the girls consoling her, while Shelly and Rachel were yelling at this guy on the other side of the fence near home plate.

As I got closer to check on Sam, she looked up at me and pleaded, “Jordie don’t…”

Then I heard the guy saying, “Ohhh what’s wrong, did I hurt his feelings?!?” I then recognized the voice and with a closer look at his face I recognized it was Clint. He was a senior that was in my P.E. class and hung around Brett, I guess they hung out because they were both starters on the football team. It didn’t take me long to realize what had happened and as the girls were yelling at him to shut up and leave Sam alone. He was leaning on and hanging on the fence goading the girls along and didn’t see me as I came around Shelly and bounced off the fence.

“Watch your mouth moron!”, I yelled at him. I no longer felt any fatigue, only anger fueled by the anguish on Sam’s face.

When I bounced off the fence his face had been pressed up against the chain-link and it looked like it scratched him across the nose. He wiped his nose and saw a bit of blood then turned to me growling, “You don’t know who you’re fucking with shrimp…”

He stepped back up to the fence, which I bounced off again to which he backed up. I laughed, “I know exactly who I’m fucking with Clint… A big moron who likes to pick on girls and people smaller than him… I’m fucking with a coward, you asshole!!!”

Shelly and Rachel gently grabbed me to pull me away from the fence to calm me down. Clint was enraged as he turned heading to the gate to the gate by the dugout. He had made it about half way to the fence as the girls were surrounding both me and Sam, then we heard another familiar voice.

“What the hell!!! Clint what the fuck have you done?”, the voice yelled. I knew immediately that it was Brett. Him and Clint must have been out on their practice field today.

Clint growled, “I’m about to teach that pipsqueak and the tranny a lesson!”

“Clint shut the fuck up!”, Brett yelled as he finally closed the distance and shoved Clint away from the gate. “Are you trying to get expelled? And take me with you?” That anger that I saw from Brett at least wasn’t directed at me this time, while Clint was big and intimidating, Brett was much scarier. I had to guess he was at least six two or better, and probably weighed in over two thirty…

Clint backed up, “Dude do you see any teachers? It’s just their word against ours… Nobody will believe a bunch of lesbos and a tranny over us…”

Brett shoved him and shoved him hard. Clint fell back as Brett yelled, “Shut the fuck up, or I’ll shut your mouth for you! Get out of here and I’ll try and fix this.” Clint looked pissed as he got up, but he stepped backwards away from Brett and then turned to sprint away. Brett stayed there until it was obvious Clint wasn’t coming back. Then his shoulders visibly slumped as he turned and started to walk towards the gate to come onto the field.

I heard Sam whimpering, so I turned to check on her and saw Lyndsay was trying to console her. I walked up to her and said gently, “Sam? Are you okay?” She turned to me and I could see how upset she was. She didn’t say anything, she just grabbed me in a hug and I held her as she cried.

“Are you all okay?”, I heard Brett asking. I tried to turn to yell at him about his friend, but Sam was holding onto me too tight.

Rachel blurted out, “What the fuck dude? What the hell is wrong with your friend?”

“He’s not my friend.”, Brett started to say, then he sighed. “Look Coach just asked me to work with him some on his pass routes today… He’s not the brightest… I’m sorry… Sam are you okay?”

She had recovered enough to let go of me, and she looked at Brett, “Yeah… I’m okay Brett… Thanks for stopping him before he got in here and made it worse…”

It was then that Brett noticed me standing there, surprised he asked, “Jordan? What are you doing here?”

Shelly stepped in front of me and told him, “He’s been helping Sam get ready to pitch, and he’s helping us out until we get someone to fill in for a catcher…”

Still surprised he asked, “Really?”

Adrenaline was still surging through me, and I guess I was still a bit on edge. I blurted out, “Yeah really! What’s wrong with that?”

He looked slightly stunned at my outburst, then I heard Sam, “Brett’s a good guy Jordan… He’s a… He’s a friend.”

Holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture, he said, “Yeah dude, its cool. It just surprised me is all… But yeah, me and my Mom go to Sam’s church… We’re cool lil dude.”

Rachel asked him, “What are you going to do about Clint?”

He sighed, “I don’t know… Look I’m going to talk to him, threaten him if I have to… If he says or does anymore stupid shit let me know… I’ll take it directly to Coach… He’ll be kicked off the team and possibly school… Let me try to talk to him though…”

Most of the girls agreed to that, even though I think most of them wanted to get their own hands on him. They refused to tell me what he had said to Sam though, which was probably for my benefit more than Clint’s. As they finished up gathering their stuff, Brett motioned me over to him.

“Hey Jordan, I just wanted to say I think its cool what you’re doing helping them out…”, he said.

This was a completely different side of Brett that I had seen before, for one thing he wasn’t trying to kill me with a dodgeball. I was oddly speechless for a change.

“Look Jordan… I wanted to say I was sorry for last week… I’ve been… It’s just been rough for me lately, and my temper gets the best of me… I’m sorry…”, he told me.

I nodded, “Yeah Coach sorta filled me in a bit… Look I’m sorry if I said anything… I just get so competitive and I say shit… I can’t help it… Trust me though… You don’t have to apologize, I understand how having a temper is…”

He laughed, “I can tell… You’ve definitely got a lot of fight in you… If Clint had made it in here, I honestly don’t know who I’d have put money on…”

I chuckled, “I’d probably put it on Shelly…”

Brett laughed hard at that, which drew several looks from the girls, “Dude… You’re probably right… Seriously though… I’ll do what I can about Clint… But keep an eye out okay, he’s probably not going to forget this…”

I told him, “Probably not… I’ll be okay though…”

He nodded, “Still… Be safe, and take care of Sam okay, and take care of yourself too.”

I shook his hand and told him, “You too dude…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the evening Sam stayed with me at my house until almost dark. She had been really clingy with me most of the afternoon. I still didn’t know what that ass had said to her to shake her up so bad, but I did my best to cheer her up. By the time she was getting ready to go she was almost back to her usual cheerful self. She did give me an extra long hug and a kiss on the cheek before she left though.

I was so tired from the day, I didn’t hang around downstairs long after supper before I went up for my nightly routine. I had been looking at the picture of her sticking her tongue out and thinking about the day. Other than that asshole, it had been an incredible day. For the first time since my recovery started, I felt like I was part of something again… Practicing with Sam and the rest of the softball team had reminded me what it was like. I then remembered how it felt when it was just Sam and I against the batter, and how good it felt. She trusted me, and I trusted her, and that confidence that radiated out of her. Then as I had become accustomed to, my phone dinged.

{Sam text} *** Did the practice go as good as I thought it did? ***

{Me text} *** It went better… You were awesome… The girls are really impressed with you. ***

{Sam text} *** No… They’re impressed with both of us. ***

I didn’t know how to answer that. The practice had been for them to see Sam in action. I thought that today would make me rethink trying out for baseball, but it didn’t. After today, I really had no doubts about not wanting to play baseball again. The way the girls supported each other and not always talk down to each other was simply better. Another ding interrupted me from my thoughts.

{Sam text} *** Jordan… Thank you so much for today… You know… for being there for me… ***

{Me text} *** Always Sam… I promise… ***

{Sam text} *** NN Jordie ***

{Me text} *** NN Sam ***

I sat my phone down, and within minutes I was out cold.

 
 
To be continued.