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Breathing...Chapter 2
*Before…
I still am a total flight noob and loving it as much as I’m not ready to go home.
It takes so little time to get to Halifax.
And I do love how the city looks from up here and the harbor and citadel hill...it’s just kind of beautiful in that coming home way.
Then we’re landing and as I’m getting to baggage claim Aunt Chris and Terri’s there as well as Mom and Dad…
Oh shit...what do I do?
I wasn’t expecting our parents.
*And Now…
I’m standing there with my bags in my hands and jaw hanging open looking as every bit as girled up as when I left Toronto.
And my folks are there and Dad looks...shocked.
Shocked because he was looking around and as soon as I saw them and stopped Terri let out this really hyper and emotional scream of “Robin!” and ran over and she hugged me.
I can’t help it I hugged her too as she bounced and vibrated.
My brain’s locked in stall.
And Dad looks shocked like I’ve never seen him and Mom is still staring at me even more shocked than him.
Aunt Chris gives Dad a shove into him saying something before she comes over and hugs me. “Hello baby welcome home.”
I hug her tight and sigh. “Are they going to be alright?”
“Oh yeah I mean they sort of knew but they weren’t prepared for you like this.”
“Me like this?”
“All sunshined up and looking super cute and all the other stuff.”
“Oh...Other stuff?”
Aunt Chris looks at me. “You really picked up on how to carry yourself.”
Oh…
I’m blushing because I wasn’t trying and it was just something that I’d been doing for so long that it just stuck.
Dad comes over and looks at me then he looks me over and he hugs me. “Hey kiddo, you look good.”
“Uhm thanks Dad…” I have no idea what to say.
He grabs my luggage for me then Mom’s there and she is still kind of staring until she reaches up and moves a strand of my hair and touches my cheek.
“Oh...I have so much more to learn about you don’t I.”
My eyes go wide and they tear up as well because of all the things that could have been said would have likely been said I really, really was not expecting that.
Terri actually sniffles and she has tears starting and I reach in my bag and give her some tissues.
She smiles. “Thanks i just got this eyeliner right too.”
I nod. “That’s okay I have lots.”
Mom looks at me her head tilted. “How…?”
I give her sheepish look. “Well I go some before we left and then we stopped for lunch on the way up and some friends and I got some free things from Lush and before leaving the airport i score some free things at the MAC cosmetics store in the airport.”
Mom looks confused but she’s sort of smiling and Aunt Chris is looking at me like she’s proud and dad looks like I just spoke a foreign language and Terri hooks her finger into the opening of my bag. “Really! What did you get!?”
“Hey, lots of stuff nosy but most of it’s in my carry on tote.”
She grins and Aunt Chris turns and she starts leading the way out of the airport and I look at her car and our car and Dad’s putting my bags in our car so I get in our car. Mom actually gets in the back.
And then we’re driving but we’re following Aunt Chris and we’re heading to her place.
Dad’s looking at me as we’re driving. “So how was it?”
“It was...good...I made a lot of friends, really good friends. I want to go back next year.”
He’s looking at me. “So did you figure things out?”
I look back at him. “Some, A lot and learned even more stuff but some of the stuff that I learned led me around to like some bigger questions too.”
Mom’s like. “What kind of questions?”
“Who am I? Just how much is being Rob or Robin me? Why do I like this some much?”
She looks at me. “Lots of people crossdress Robin it’s not a big deal.”
I look back at her. “But it is, we live in the middle of nowhere Mom and I know that we’re not exactly totally in the back beyond but it’s still very, very red necked small town home….I’m not sure if I’m up to bucking the system honestly and I’m not sure who I am as Robin either. Do I just stop being me after learning who I am all these weeks?”
Mom leans ahead and she puts her hand on my shoulder. “You’re still our kid Robin whichever way that you figure out in taking.”
Dad sighs but he’s nodding too. “We’re with you no matter what. I’m just actually glad that you’re doing this and asking these questions instead of keeping quiet and bottling it all up.”
I look at him and he’s staring at Aunt Chris’s car and I think I get what he’s thinking about.
“I am too Dad, I’m scared as heck.”
He says as we’re pulling into her parking lot. “Yeah, there was none of this stuff even thought about being talked about when I was your age Robin. I want you to talk about it, I want you to hurt and be frustrated but we want to know...I don’t want to see you go through what Christine did.”
Yeah he actually said it.
And even Mom’s nodding and I know that means a lot too since as far as I’ve ever known Mom’s childhood was absolute shit.
We get out and I walk around to Dad’s side of the car and I give him a really big hug and he literally feels surprised by me doing that and I haven’t not really hugged him since Rob was a pre-teen.
Then I hug Mom who’s smiling and hugging me back and I keep hugging her as Dad gets my luggage?
He says. “You’ve some time before school so we figured you could use some more time with your Aunt here and sort of adjust or whatever you need to before actually coming home.”
“So you guys just came to see me?”
Mom shakes her head. “No we came here for that but yesterday we came here with your cousins so they could actually get some back to school deals and shopping before taking them home.”
Yeah there was something there too or lots of somethings. My cousins don’t have much and a pretty crappy home life half the time and back home they’re one of those looked down on families...even worse that we get home...home we’re lower middle class. My cousins are way less than that and it’s got to be hard.
And yeah they don’t make it any easier either some of them were like coming out of the womb with mullets and are not great people but there is that whole don’t know better thing.
Mom shakes it off. “So we came to see you and your Dad and I are taking a long, long deserved weekend in the city.”
I smile. “That’s actually really cool, so what’s the plans?”
We start walking in and I keep hugging her but I shift so it’s the girlfriend around the waist hip to hip walking together thing and we get a few feet before her eyes show that she’s realizing that we’re walking like that and she gets this look in her eyes that has all her smile lines in play and she starts back up walking with me and she even seems a little bouncy.
Uh-huh...Okay Mom’s really getting she’s just meeting Robin.
And I’m kind of excited to because this is Mom that Rob doesn’t get to see.
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Comments
"Mom’s really getting she’s just meeting Robin."
very, very nice.
TY Dorothy.
I kinda like that I'm getting to write this further.
*Great Big Proud Angel Hugs*
Bailey Summers
It's stories like this one that really make me realize.....
How much of my childhood and teen years I lost, and just what I missed. And yeah, you have me crying once again Bailey. You truly have a knack for that, lol.
It took decades of my life, and my wife actually calling my mother and talking to her before my family ever really found out about me. I was in a really bad place, she and I weren't talking, and she called my mother and had a long talk with her. She was worried about me being by myself, and I wasn't talking to anyone - she thought perhaps my mother could talk to me.
When I found out, I was very angry. My relationship with my parents had been pretty much non-existent for at least three decades - mostly because of my alcoholic, abusive, asshole of a father. But my mother took his side when it came down to a final confrontation - even though she was as much a victim of his abuse as I was, perhaps even more so. That pretty much ended my relationship with them, and I effectively cut myself off from my entire family except two cousins with whom I had grown up, basically more as sisters than cousins.
Since then, my wife and I are not just talking, but we are once again the best friends we always were. Our relationship has obviously changed - although I am best described as pan-sexual, she is totally straight. She professes to still love me (actually more since my transition as I am a much nicer person), but she is having trouble with the idea that loving me makes her a lesbian. Needless to say, our sex life is nearly non-existent, and what little there is.......let's just say it's pretty one way, not that I mind as I still am, and always have been, desperately in love with this woman! As for her, she tells me that she absolutely doesn't want anyone else - but the longer since my transition, the more comfortable I am in myself, the more obviously female I become, the harder it is on her.
As for my family, my father died earlier this year - which brought out a lot of conflicting emotions in me. On the one hand, good riddance you bastard! Yet I can't help the occasional good memory that pops up - he was a good man who ruined his life, and took his issues out on his family. He never dealt with his issues, whether caused by his domineering mother, or the result of PTSD - his answer like many others was alcohol. A method which did not work and simply gave vent to his aggressive nature thus driving a spike into any relationship we might have had as I grew into adulthood.
Three good things came out of his death: 1) I am finally able to remember a few good things about him and good times, 2) my relationship with my mother has been repaired and she has shown great support for her new daughter, 3) my entire family is now completely aware of who I am.
I am looking forward to the continuation of this story Bailey, mostly because of your talent and my enjoyment of reading your work, but also because perhaps I'll get a glimpse of what should have been and how my life could have been so much different.
All things considered.........
Yeah, I cry for what I lost - but I cherish what I have that would have never been.
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Out's hard and even trying to find out who we are is important.
The thing is that waaaaaay too many of us have tried to work these things out alone and isolated and in closets and that's literally harmed and broken generations.
A lot of Robin's story's going to try to be like the mother story that started this and will take a look at a lot of things withing Questioning things but also others in the equal rights acronym as well as trans stuff.
Which I'm looking forward to.
And honestly hon I adore the girl and woman you've found.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
sometimes
sometimes is just simply opening Pandora's box. Then comes the question of the inside. How big is it really and how much is in it?
quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall
YES Snowy! Exactly that!
Goddess I might use that at some point if that's cool with you. It's such a good line.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Looking good.
The parents are doing very well, so far. Thanks
Robin's folks were pretty good in the original story.
It's just I felt there was more to tell or explore.
*Hugs and Howls*
Bailey Summers
Some fears abated
Some of Robin's fears were abated because of how her parents welcomed her home. Yes, they were a bit shocked but didn't have any major meltdowns upon seeing how Rob was dressed.
It's also very good they're concerned about the Rob/Robin person more than how that person is dressed. The person is, after all, more important than the clothes they're wearing.
Another thing which makes these parents unique is their wanting Rob/Robin to ask the questions which need asking. And let them know as well.
Others have feelings too.
I<strong>amlittle confused</strong>
I'pay betterattention.