Bridges 49

*Before…

I do gush about Cass though and the call that lasted all night and the morning little stuff that she said and how that feels and I don’t hide the fact that I’m trans or that Cass and I are wife and wife and Tina’s good with it.

Actually she says that she hopes her daughter Nadine actually finds a nice girl sometime and I get this rant about how much she hates her daughter’s teenaged girlfriends and the super fourteen year old lesbian hormones and just how everything is just sooo dramatic and screaming when she’s not trying to keep each other out of their pants.

It’s funny and it’s not even with gay and lesbian and bi kids underage sex is still pretty serious stuff.

I grab my things and head back to triage and I look at the chart and then at the inpatient sheet for the next patient and I double check and then slip out to see if it’s true.

Oh damn, My Ex is there in the waiting room for outpatients waiting to be seen.

*And Now…

Really?
WTF life?
I really, really didn’t want to see Tanya ever again.
And this is twice.
I know it’s not a coincidence, she knew where I was from even if I thought she barely paid attention to stuff like that with me.
I watch her for a little while and she’s there with a coffee from Satchel’s Cafe in town that’s one of those trendy hipster coffee places. Tanya’s a coffee snob and one of those folks that’d just google the trendiest spot in town and then take a cab and either charge the whole thing or bill it to a client.

Y’know one of those folks that’d never set foot in any kind of chain place.

I’m okay with mom and pops but real people work chain places and those are sometimes the only jobs they can get. People shouldn’t get all uppity over things that come from ordinary places.

Sigh… I really don’t want to have to deal with this, with her but there’s a lot of stuff in nursing that’s just like this.

Besides my life’s on a good course right now so why wouldn’t it shove my ex in my face again.

Oh…oh wow…and not in a good way I see her actually adjust her top button of her blouse so there’s more of her showing and Tanya was always good at stuff like that really, showing off and looking quite sexual and yet just within keeping the sort of look of respectability.

Dammit.

I sigh and I look at Tina. “I know this one; I’m going to leave the door open on this side okay?”

Tina looks at me. “Trouble?’

“My ex-actually only it’s been years so she hasn’t recognized me yet and she’s already hit on me once.”

“You didn’t tell her?”

“No, I really wasn’t ready for her crap on the train.”

“Oh okay that’s a story then?’

“Yeah long story short she’s one of those radical lesbians but just enough out of the box for it to be alright for her to use toys on me and me service her and her brag to her feminist friends that she had a pretty little trans male in his rightful place.”

“Wow…what a bitch.”

“I was younger and I was just off from the hospital and starting rehab and then I was just starting my transition and coming out so I was really, really eager to please folks and be accepted.”

Tina’s glaring at her. “Jesus what a piece of work.”

“That’s why I want this door open, just in case she tries something or tries to start something or just decides to lie about something.’

“Oh…you’re going to tell her aren’t you?”

I nod and sort of smile. “I was through her crap one and now she’s hitting on me because she doesn’t remember me and I’m done with that and her really.”

“Okay I’ll stick close and keep an ear out.’

I head into the triage room. That’s the room we call folks in to get accessed and I leave the back door open. Now this isn’t illegal in any way and it’s common procedure when we have someone that’s a questionable patient.

See the back door is past the counter of the outpatient’s area and therefore it’s off limits to non-hospital staff so the rules of confidentiality get waved in a way. We still can’t compromise their health information or anything like that but staff can watch out for harm since there is no public access at that door.

I go to the front door and call out. “Tanya, I will triage you now.”

She looks up and she smiles and she slides up from sitting in that glide she used to use on me. Tanya for she was all feminist hardcore she was and is what is called a femme in the lesbian community.

She’s also a power femme so it’s high end and business attire and she uses that as a weapon and a sexy tool.

Long legs and expensive heels and I know everything else is too.

She actually widens her smile and gives herself a little more pop to her chest when she sees me and she recognizes me…sort of.

“Oh allo, eets you Cherie from the train.”

“It is, it’s unusual to see you here.”

“Oh qui eet is but I thought to stop ere as I knew that you were ici and you might be working today. And friendly face makes me feel at ease as they say.”

“People do say that but I would think that you would have preferred going to the hospital in Vancouver than being here.’

“Qui that is true but I remembered that this was your stop so I took the chance.”

“I did tell you that I am happily married Tanya.”

“Oh qui but still I just wanted another chance to see you again.”

I roll my eyes and she looks at me. “Do I get no points for being persistent?”

“No because you being persistent Tanya is not what I want, what I want is for you to respect when I tell you I’m with someone.”

“But she does not even know me?”

“I know you.”

“Non, you do not and I am coming on a petit beet to strong but you are very lovely and you are so used to being here in the…uhm…steeks to know how good le more modaren relationsheeps are these days are in the lesbian community in beegere cities.”

“Yes I do know you Tanya and I know what the community used to be like in Montreal Tanya I mean we used to live together.”

She does a double take and then is staring at me with a thoughtful yet intense look like she’s trying to remember.

I sigh and tap my employee name tag. It says Sam Chase on it.

She looks a minute and she stares and I see things clicking together in her head.

“Samaritan?”

“You never recognized me did you?’

“Non…wait you live here?”

“Yes and you knew that you just did realize that I am me.”

“But…but you don’t look like you. You look…?”

“Like what, not the girl that you tried to invent?”

“I deed no such ting.’

“Tanya you started dating me and you pulled me into your little crowd and dressed me up to match all of your stereotypes that you wanted about trans women and then made yourself seem so progressive about helping your GNC lover.”

“I helped you before moi you were juste anothere man in zee dress.”

“But that wasn’t the real me, it wasn’t the woman that I am. I don’t really wear dresses that much or do a lot of the girly things that you had me do while we were together.”

“You’re not a woman Samaritan you are une facimilee.” That one hurt, a solid emotional hit.

“I was enough of one that you hit one me on the train and with me today.” It’s not the old days I hit back Tanya.

“Ah yes, qui…does your wife know what she has married?”

“Yes and we’re happy.” Tanya looks pissed at that news.

“And ze homme that was with you?”

“Not really your business.”

“I think that you are fooling people Samaritan, I think that you are fooling all of them and that they should hear from someone that knows you.”

I laugh at her. “You go do that Tanya, I’m out and I’m married my life’s my life but it’s not exactly a secret either. Now they can come up and ask me all sorts of questions and I can answer them with the fact that both times that you’ve seen me after we broke up all those years you hit on me. And not just hit on me but you did so with zero consideration for the fact that I said no or that I’m married.”

“I will fucking scream.” She says looking at me and her voice turning to ice. “I will scream and you’re a fucking man people will believe me over you and I will say that you sexually assaulted me.”

Her accent’s gone and she’s glaring at me.

“You haven’t changed, you got this mad way back when I wouldn’t agree with you that I’m not a man because you say so. That I absolutely refused to say to your friends that trans women were trans women instead of just being women.”

“You’re a man, you were born a man with all that fucking privilege and all the socialization that comes with it Samaritan.”

“Trans people are socialized as their gender Tanya we’re just buried in the closet when we got through it.”

She gets up and she grabs her purse. “You’re even worse now than then Samaritan.”

“I’m a lot less of a doormat these days, that’s never been attractive for you has it?’

She growls. “I hate you…I’ll make you sorry you ever crossed me bitch.” She grabs her coffee and makes like she was going to sling it at me and she was taking a deep breath to scream and Tina swings the door open.

“That’s fucking enough. Robbie will you escort this woman off the property?”

One of our security boys was there behind her and Tanya looks angry and yet confused and surprised. “Wait…what…? No he was coming on to me, he was assaulting me.”

Tina huffs at her. “Stop lying you useless potato, Sam thought there might be trouble so this entire time I was right outside listening to you and all of your hateful bull.”

Tanya snaps at her. “That violates medical privilege!”

Tina glares at her. “It would if we were discussing your case but we’re not and you haven’t even been assessed yet.”

Robbie comes in and opens the outside main door of the triage room. “Time to leave.”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” She yelled at him and he holds the door open with his foot and he raises his hands.

“I’m not going to touch you but you have to leave the grounds and you either do it now or we call the police and have you taken out of here.”

She’s glaring at all of in turns and she slams her coffee into the garbage can so hard it splashes and she stalks out and Robbie follows. She gets into it with him when he makes her leave the property not even letting hr stay on our sideway or grounds or even our parking lot to wait for her cab.

All the way out to the road and she is really, really not happy as he stays until she is picked up by a taxi and everyone driving past can see her and him and know something happened that she was escorted out.

I watch her and I sigh.

Tina rubs my back. “You alright?’

“No…I’ll deal but seeing Tanya again brought up a lot of old past hurts.”

“It sounded like a bad relationship.”

I sigh again and nod. “It was but I learned that My transition was Mine and not hers or anything about it for her.”

Tina rubs my back. “Go for a coffee, I’ll cover you for a while and then we can talk later at lunch?”

I nod. “A coffee would be great.”

I start leaving and Tina says to me. “Sam…call you wife, this is a call your wife thing.”

I nod and actually smile as I take my phone out because…because now I can actually do that now.

Talk out the hurt stuff.