Bridges 47

*Before…

I do this for a reason, you lay down the law and they know what’s going on. Every shift you get people tired of waiting wanting to know where they are in the queue. They almost always cause trouble or get loud or upset the staff it happened a lot in Afghanistan and the same ones were the complainers and that’s the ones with the self-important sort of looks on their faces.
If you give then the how it works then you can actually run things smoother, and the staff doesn’t get hassled or intimidated and also…also the message of they don’t mess around will spread after a couple of weeks or so.
I call out the first name from the first sheet I have and they actually sort of do a bit of civilian hustle getting to me.
I give her a smile. “Alright you’re my first number and that’s a fourteen.”
I give her a Post –it and I start to triage her and write down my notes.

*And Now…

It’s funny how people react to a military attitude at first as I’m doing things there’s a few looks of folks that look like they don’t like the change from the regular stuff here and then there’s some that are those self-important types and some of them went to complain about their cold or the earache that they’ve had for three days before deciding to come in to outpatients.

And I head them off when I’m able to before they hassle the girl at the desk and I’ll pull their sheet and like the mister with the ear ache.

“I see you have Dr. Svenson as your family doctor. You do know that this isn’t his office and that you should actually go to your GP to see about these things.”

“I’m a busy person, I don’t have time to take the time to go to his office and get seen there. It’s a waste of time to make an appointment.”

I gave him my best nurse eyeball. “You know his office is open right now. And that you were fiddling around there on your phone just a second ago so you really could have made an appointment.”

He looked angry and puffy even like some of these self-important folks get sometimes. “Look I pay my taxes and that pays your salary so I don’t appreciate getting told how to come to the hospital. You work for us lady.” And he gestured towards the other folks in the waiting room.

I actually smiled at him.

He’s not scary, not really, not compared to everything I’ve seen and been through.

“You’re right sir I do get paid through the medicare system right now and I guess in a roundabout way that does make the taxpayers my bosses. But as I said you’re not at your doctor’s office where you should be instead you’re here. Taking up the space of a person that doesn’t have a GP of their own and has to come here and that’s wasting time and it’s wasting money sir.”

He goes to say something and I hold up my finger. “Not done.”

“Instead you are here arguing with me and you were going to argue with the clerk here both take both of us away from our jobs and treating those that are here because they have to be here sir and you sir are wasting that time and wasting everyone else’s time and money doing that.”

He gobbles at air like an angry fish.

I give him my best smile. “But you are more than welcome to stay and be triaged and seen to just like everyone else sir.”

He looks at me and he notices that there’s people that are staring at him from both the staff and the waiting area and he goes back down and he shuts up.

The clerk looks at me. “Wow…That, that was awesome.”

I grin. “And I can do that in a couple of languages too. We still had guys like him doing almost the same sort of thing over in Kandahar.”

She looks at me. “Really?”

“Sure thing people are just people; we’re all pretty much the same wherever we go.”

And well that was like the first twenty minutes of the shift.

I think that mornings are the worst for dealing with people.

There’s people who come in during the middle of the night and they’re sleepy or something unless it’s the drunks or the party crowd and they’re a pain in the butt. But in general graveyard has mostly folks that need to be here. And Afternoons well that shift has people that are already pretty wrung out from whatever happens like during their day and some might get crabby around when it’s time to eat something or time to go to bed or something but most of them will sort of zone out watching the TV, reading a book or doing stuff online.

But Morning people generally don’t wake up well, they come in when they could be doing other things and they haven’t had enough coffee or maybe this has effed up their day but patients in the morning are or seem to be way more of a pain in the butt.

But the rest of the morning actually goes not that badly really and we start to actually get a good pace of speeding through the patients once there’s this whole thing that they all know that this is us not messing around too.

It really does help everybody, and wait times are still pretty rough no matter where you go to.

It’s a whole lot of the standard stuff that we’re getting and I’m actually enjoying myself because it’s not the same as combat nursing or even the nursing that we did at the base this is a lot of colds and coughs and parents with little kids and seniors that are in for one thing or another.

I mean sure we had all of that sort of usual stuff in the base with the staff but everyone was dressed like they were on base, that we were in a war zone and it’s just a really good grounding thing for me.

No uniforms and most of all no locals.

Now don’t get me wrong I like the Afghani people they’re like people pretty much in most places it’s just that when you see them as patients there’s scars. There’s all these scars and they’re from the poverty or the warlords or just the way that life is there.

I’m swabbing a throat culture for Pert with a five year old that’s wiping his nose onto his hand instead of listening to a five year old with damaged breathing from smoke or gas and seeing scars of him from being too close to a Molotov.

I know those kids need help too, a lot of help but still.

I’m glad that I’m home.

I’m glad that I’m not hearing jeeps and trucks through the walls or the bass-voosh and pops of fighter jets or the heavy thud-chop through the air of our medevac choppers.

Instead there’s just the sounds of people and staff and then there’s this whole vibe with the staff and the nurses and the different colors when it comes to the scrubs that we’re allowed to wear. and the fact that CTV is playing on the TV in the lobby instead of CNN.

I’m smiling as we’re all caught up right now for triage and I hit the mini-break room that the triage nursing office shares with the admitting staff and someone made cookies and left them in a basket and I make myself a coffee from the autowreck coffee they have there and I just come out and lean again the far back counter that there for like office supplies and bask in being home.

Caroline Watson one of the outpatient’s nurses joins me and she’s looking at me. We don’t know each other well at all but she seemed nice.

“You seem happy?”

“Glad to be home.”

“Home, oh right you served…but didn’t you get back like a long time ago?”

I nod. “Almost three years since I was released for rehab and medical but it sometimes takes a lot long for us to actually get home.”

She’s looking at me and has a concerned look. “But you’re smiling so this is a good thing right?”

I nod and look over at her. “There’s days that are bad and the frontline people they have their stuff in a different way than some of mine but if you’re lucky and you get some help and get out of being stuck back there and start like living you get these days where instead of being triggered you run into the things that you signed up for, all this really good stuff that reminds you that you’re home and that you did something to make it home still.”

She’s nodding. “I get that but I’ll never get it.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “My brother’s in and he did time over in Golan and he’ll go to the beach or the part and he’ll just smile and watch folks.”

I grin. “Yeah I can see that, kids at the beach, people holding hands and walking their dogs or jogging. That’s stuff that other people just don’t or can’t do in a whole lot of places. For me it’s a lot of things too but seeing kids having real fun with zero cares about things that are dangerous or seeing someone at a water fountain, I mean just it hits you that this is here and not there and that really makes it a good day.”

She’s nodding and she’s smiling too. “Well I’m glad that this is one of the good days.”

Caroline leaves after her coffee with her clip board calling out names to come down to OPD and I actually slip off to my lockers to get my books since they can always page me to come back and I get something to study in between patients coming in to be triaged.

It’s a good shift until it’s time to go home and then it’s snowing and it’s not that bad really but it’s messy with that sort of wet almost rain with the snow and there’s a little fog here and there and I stop and get some coffee for the perk at home from Tim’s and then I stop at Save On Foods and I get a few things and then I head home.

It’s even good to come home driving down my road and seeing Brandon’s place and the horses still outside even though it’s snowing out. That’s actually a really nice scene and after I pull into the yard and get parked I head in fast and get my camera and walk out to the road and down far enough to take some good pictures of the horses in the field and there’s the woods off in the background and the snow’s just sort of coming down sideways.

I smile as I walk back to the house and wave at Brandon when I see him and he’s with some fellow that’s there with a truck and a horse trailer and it looks like he’s getting another rescue horse dropped off.

He waves back and so does the fellow that he’s with and he even gives me that old school and old fashioned hat lift that makes me smile.

Yeah I’m one of those girls that actually likes all the old school things with the manners and stuff. I really don’t care all that much about being upset about stuff all the time that.

There was a lot of stuff I learned from the Ex with all her friends and all that feminist stuff and hey I’m a dyed in the wool feminist but there’s also some people that have taken this whole social justice thing to the point where I’m just pretty fed up.

I don’t think calling a group of ladies is offensive because it’s classist, or that you should glare at someone for getting the door or getting my chair on a date.

It’s not the same thing as child brides, or voting rights or some politician getting involved and wrecking a woman’s right to choose.

But then again this seems to be a teen to early college thing with that whole easy to get offended at every demographic and I’ve been through too much to make a mountain from those little molehills.

Besides I like manners, and I like old fashioned manners too.

There’s nothing wrong with liking all of it and being a feminist.

I look outside and they’re both looking like they’ll be pretty busy for a while and I grab some potatoes and give them a fast wash and peel and turn on the hot water and fill a small pot and cut the potatoes into fast chunks.

Yeah I know there’s cooks that will never start a pot with hot water but I do since it’s just faster to boil. I add a little salt and then I get the range hood going full blast and open a few windows too and the window for the porch door.

I’m doing pork chops so it’s going to get smokey in here.

Okay, dad used to do this and I’m stealing it from him and that’s a double cut chop and a really hot cast iron frying pan because you want to sear it just like a steak. I unwrap the chops and I put a lot of simple salt and fresh pepper on them and rub the meat with a little canola oil and once the potatoes are in cooking I put all of the chops on and there’s that puff of smoke and sizzle and I go while they’re doing that and I take out some frozen broccoli and green beans and some frozen gravy and I heat them all up in the microwave stirring them and after two minutes I turn the chops and let them go for another two minutes before adding a little butter and half an onion per pan and let the sizzle happen and then after another minute I turn the chops once more and add the thawed gravy and turn them down to medium.

They’re pretty much ready or will be and this just sort of lets the butter to meld with the onion and gravy and get all cooked through.

I drain and mash the potatoes adding in some of my coffee creamer and some salt and mashing them really finely almost to a whip and then the veggies are done. I turn off the chops and grab some Tupperware and I take everything and head over after shutting the windows all up.

Brandon looks at me and I guess I timed things just right and he and the cowboy looking fellow are looking at me and I smile.

“I saw you were busy and I thought that I’d bring over some supper.”

He smiles. “That sounds actually really great Sam.”

The cowboy fellow dips his hat. “Well I should be going really; I have quite a drive to go yet.”

“I made enough for all of us sir, it beats having to stop at a restaurant right?”

He nods and smiles. “That’d be honestly good ma’am, it’s been a while since someone’s been so kind.”

He looks at Brandon who is opening the side door to the house. “C’mon inside Kent you can sit a spell and have some supper with us before you hit the road.”

I nod. “And given the weather it might be a good idea to see if it’ll get better too.”

He raises his hands. “Fair enough and honestly I’m looking forward to it.”

We all head inside and I help myself to Brandon’s dishes while he gets the three of us a beer and they both go and wash up while I set the table and then turn the radio on for some light music and while I’m not into country I do turn it to a country station since I’m not sure that Kent would be into rock music and it’s not really something to listen to as much as something in the background.

I am glad that Brandon didn’t have anything going for supper though it sort of hits that right spot for me to be able to do this for him and having company is nice too.

Brandon’s showing him around inside some and I take a quick look around for dessert and Brandon has some stuff that I can use and I take three apples and core them and then mix some butter, flour, brown sugar and cinnamon together and fill them and then just fire them in the microwave for a few minutes to get them mostly done while the oven warms and then pop them in just too slowly finish at medium.

They’re ready and I’m ready and I take the food in and I start to dish out the food.

Okay, I’m really happy at the way that the food goes down with Kent and Brandon eating with the smiles that a hungry guy has when they really enjoy something and we’re talking about things as we eat from the horses that Kent brought in from outside of Lethbridge and that they’re older show horses for the whole jumping thing and they needed a good home now that they’re older.

We talk about the time I spent in the forces and what I’m doing now and it’s nice to get that look of respect and thanks from him and that means a lot even if he doesn’t talk much about what I did or ask too many questions.

I mean it’s nice to know that people are thankful but sometimes some of the ways they go about talking about it thanking us just feels awkward. It’s still great that we get thanked but sometimes that thanks can just be really perfect in a kind smile and a nod.

Coming back from tour shouldn’t really be like winning a hockey or football game all the time.

I like Kent he’s one of those old guys that’s easy to take.

We even don’t have more than that one drink with supper and the guys are more than happy to dig into the streusel baked apples that I made and I even made a pot of coffee.

Kent leans back and sighs. “Ma’am that was a feast. It’s been a long time since I had a supper like that and years since I’ve had a baked apple.”

“You’re welcome Kent and its Sam.”

“Well that was a really fine meal and I’m glad that I was invited. Y’all don’t see that kinda thing anymore.”

“Well I was cooking for me and Brandon and you both looked like you had been working for some time getting the horses settled and I thought that I’d just put another chop on and a few more potatoes.”

“Still appreciated.”

He gets up and goes over and kisses me on the cheek and that was really nice too and I kiss his cheek back and I get them both more coffee and I go and do the few dishes and shoo them off and Brandon and him go outside while Kent has a smoke and it’s actually pretty charming that he smokes a pipe and they’re talking for some time while I get things all cleaned up and have another beer myself since I’m done for the evening and I’m just going home.

Brandon comes in and he smiles that warm secret smile at me and he goes over and gives me a hug. “That was an awesome supper and a really nice thing that you did.”

“I was just doing like I said; it wasn’t a big deal putting a little extra on.”

“Well it was to Kent, he said I’d better not let you go. Well he said that until I told him that you’re already married.”

“What’d he say about that?”

“Told me I best find your sister.”

I laugh and he helps me carry the Tupperware back over and he stays over and helps me with the dishes at home before heading back over after another big hug and a kiss on my cheek.

I love him, I love this and I’m glad that this is actually working for the three of us.

I clean up a little more and then it’s me and my books and I lock up and it’s me going up and off to the bedroom and a long hot shower and my pampering self-care routine and then some dilation before I end up listening to the radio and studying and waiting for Cass to call.

I’m just doing the sleepy nods in and out of studying when she calls and I answer it and fold my books shut and slip under the comforter.

“Hey Love.” I answer.

“Hey Beautiful, how was your day?” She sounds like she’s sleepy too but as happy to hear my voice as I am to hear hers.

We talk for close to an hour before at some point I fall asleep and I wake up and I see the call’s still connected and we’re still on speaker. It’ll be hell on our bill but there’s just something that’s sort of amazing about this.

I’m looking at my phone and trying to decide if I should say anything when I hear her yawn on the other side of the line and hear this happy, and amazing make my heart ache.

“Good morning beautiful, how’d you sleep?”

My wife, she stayed on the line with me all night on purpose…I pull her pillow into my arms and I hug it hard.

“I slept okay but this…It’s a great morning.”

“Mmm…good, I have to preggers pee so I’ll talk to you later hon?”

(Happy-sniffle.) “Yeah okay, I love you.”

“Love you too Mommy.”

I hear her lips touch her phone before hanging up and I’m sitting there hugging her pillow happy crying and even shaking a little too.