This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred, NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs.

Finally the 13th of February came and I packed a small bag and headed into hospital escorted by my three friends who wouldn’t leave me until the nurses threw them out.
Doctor Kendrick examined me and pronounced that I was ready for surgery. On the morning of the 14th I was given my pre-med and wheeled to the operating theatre.
I remember the trip to the theatre looking at the ceiling counting the fluorescent lights as my trolley passed (there were 48 in total including the two in the lift which took us to the theatre – strange what you remember)
Needless to say I didn’t count the lights on the way back to the ward!
As I slowly came to I had three sensations first the hellish uncomfortable packing that was between my legs.
The second thing was the bright light, which assailed my eyes as they tried to adjust and finally the low throbbing pain I could feel all around my groin area.
As well as these there was the annoying oxygen mask, which helped to rid my body of the anaesthetic – but I didn’t appreciate it at the time and kept trying to remove it while Charley replaced it much to my annoyance.

“She’s with us!” a voice near me said. This was a voice I recognised it was my Aunty Val! I remember thinking ‘What’s she doing here?’
I looked her in the eyes and croaked, “Is it over? Am I....” My Aunty smiled and interrupted me saying, “Yes pet it’s all over and you are most definitely a girl – or so the doctors have told me!”

The next person I saw was a nurse who checked me to make sure I was ok and moistened my lips with cold water.
Then my friends gathered around the bed, presenting me with cards and a heart shaped balloon for a new-born baby all saying ‘Congratulations It’s A Girl’
The sentiments behind these cards really made me smile even though I was not feeling 100% in fact I wasn’t feeling 1%
They hugged me and all had tears in their eyes. I never realised the importance my friend put on my welfare.

Charley as she hugged me whispered, “I really love you Susie – I just had to tell your Aunty hope you’ll forgive me.”
I croaked, “Thanks Charley” even those two words took it out of me. My Aunty Val was like a mother hen making sure that I was resting and not getting too tired.
A huge bouquet of flowers arrive they were from Loren and there was another heart shaped balloon with much the same message ‘Congratulations On Your New Baby Girl’ this was tied to my bed – much to the confusion of others as I was on a surgical ward not a maternity ward!

For the first couple of days I confined to bed I had a catheter and other tubes and my food was soups and broth along with milk – this was to minimise bowel movements!
My dressings were changed on a regular basis and I was amazed at the amount of packing that there was. It was such a relief to get unpacked then they repacked me much to my chagrin and it started all over again.
Four days after my operation I was allowed out of bed to start moving about which is very difficult when you are so packed with bandages and stuff that you felt that your legs were bowed like John Wayne minus the horse.
But I managed some exercise. Then slowly the packing was reduced and moving became easier. Before the nurses had been stenting for me, now I was shown how to do this myself.
I could have cried the first time I saw my new pussy. I was still swollen, bruised and stitches were still in place I was battered and bruised but I was a girl – the dangly bits had gone!

Just over 10 days from the operation most of the packing was removed; to be replaced with something I could put on myself but the drain was still inside me and I could move around freely.
I was given what is called a ‘Foley’ catheter and bags well 2 bags actually one for day use and a larger one with a longer tube for nights!

Once again I was shown how to dilate myself and it was really stressed that this must be done daily along with douche’s and pads and bed pads and scrupulous hygiene down there.
Oh and I was introduced to what was to become my new best friend – my inflatable rubber ring for sitting on. (remember where the operation was and when you sit all the pressure is in that area)
I was allowed home with an appointment to return in a week and telephone numbers should I need to contact in case of problems.

Now 10 days after my “Birth” I was home and looking after myself but again that is not strictly true as my Aunty Val was living with us she was mother-hen-in-chief! Charley was relegated to assistant mother hen.

And as for me? I had no say on anything what so ever. I rested exercised and stented – how exciting!

But I loved them being there. My first appointment went well and the drain and catheter removed. I was taking steady exercise walking but no lifting - this included shopping bags.

By now after a month had passed my bodily functions had returned to somewhat normal though at times I had some slight discomfort.
My appetite was back the catheter had long gone and I was weeing normally though at first I had a spray, which was like a watering can! This sprayed all over the inside of my thighs.
This worried me so I phoned the number only to be told that this was quite normal and would soon sort itself out but it wasn’t nice having soaking thighs after a wee. But as they told me I was soon weeing in a stream instead of a spray!

Giles was very worried about me I had told him that I was going into hospital for one of those “woman things” he pestered Shonali to visit me but she kept putting him off finally after being home for two weeks I relented and phoned him as I really missed him and we arranged for him to come over to the flat and take me for a drive for a couple of hours.

I had forgotten how gorgeous he was and I turned to mush again – but I wasn’t jealous!
Aunty Val vetted him and told him not to tire me out! (She can be very bossy at times – but I adore her)

He drove me into the country it was great to be out of the city then after an hour in the fresh air he drove me back home.
Reaching home we sat in the car simply talking then he said, “Can I kiss you?” I grinned at him cheekily saying, “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t!”

He slipped his arm around me and kissed me very gently like I was made of glass.
I was having none of it and whispered into his lips, “I won’t break sweetheart please kiss me properly.”
Which he did - and as with the first time my insides went all wobbly.

By now my bottom was starting to hurt a little (this is because I didn’t want to take my blow up ring which I used to sit on) so a little carefully I got out of the car – bless him he noticed and was very worried for me I explained about sitting and he scolded me for not taking my ring to sit on.

The next big milestone was that CHARLEY GOT A JOB!!!!! I was absolutely delighted for her.
It came from someone we had met at the Christmas Party one of the people that said they were looking for someone with her degree.

The reason it had taken so long was that the contract they were bidding on was delayed and had only just been awarded.
The work she was going to do for a start was perfect for her – she was helping to make animated films to teach history to children. And even better the historical advisor was a certain Dr Robert Dickenson (aka Rob)

Talk about a match made in heaven her degree and hobby combined and as an added bonus she was working with her fiancé!
So they went through the hoops so she could legally work in the UK and there we were all of us working. (Except for me, as I was still not fit – just yet!)

Aunty Val went home about 6 weeks after I left hospital. Two weeks later I was good to go to work.
I contacted Loren with the news the only proviso was I couldn’t lift which didn’t really cause any problem.
I told Kelly that night and she looked depressed as like me she loved working for Loren.

The next morning as we got ready she commented, “I don’t know why I’m getting ready I’ll be home in a couple of hours!”
“Oh Kell” I gasped, “Look I’ll go and find another job I can’t have you all miserable!”
She looked at me and commented, “Susanna you are a silly cow you’ll do nothing of the sort – thing’s will sort themselves out. I’ll be ok”

The four of us left the flat together and headed for Media City and work. Three of us got off one stop before Charley but we arranged to meet up after work for a celebration drink. (No alcohol for me – well maybe a very weak spritzer)

And it was a celebration as things turned out. I went into the office and my desk was festooned in balloons welcoming me back and there was a big bouquet of flowers sitting there.

I did what any girl would do and burst into tears of absolute joy. After I had composed myself Kelly and I were asked to go into ‘The Office’ it was with trepidation that we entered.

Loren asked us to sit down the two of us perched on the edge of our chairs knees together hands clasped on them.
Loren looked at us and said, “Look I’m not like my brother I’ll tell you straight away.
We would like to keep the two of you with us – that is if you want to?”
Kelly and I exchanged looks of amazement and joy but before we could speak Loren continued, “The reason we have decided this is that the other two have decided that seeing as the business is taking off and we are getting really busy I need to do more developing and concept ideas so this leaves an opening for another engineer.

As there is nothing to choose between the two of you we decided.... Now do you accept?”
Simultaneously we answered, “Oh Loren thanks so much” or words to that effect we were ecstatic and both of us had beaming smiles on our faces. “Right” she said, “I’ll take that as a yes then.
Now go back to work and I’ll be out shortly to explain things to you.”

As I left I turned and said, “Thanks so much for the flowers they’re gorgeous.” With a smile she answered, “No problem’s Susie but they’re not from me!”
All I could say to that was, “Oh” as I rushed out to see who had sent them.
I found the envelope and opened it as I read the short message tears sprung to my eyes.
The flowers were from Giles and the note said,
“To the most beautiful girl in the world – I love you! Giles”

I showed Kelly who commented, “Well another of Susie’s conquests. How do you feel about him?”
In a daze I answered, “I like him a lot Kell.” She harrumphed and as she sat down saying, “Oh god moaning from your room soon!”
“Kelly Jackson” I managed to splutter blushing scarlet as I sat down at my desk in a daze.
All she did was cackle at my discomfort saying, “Well at least you now have the proper equipment girl!”
Which made be blush again – she really knows me too well!

When we left work at 5pm Giles and Si were waiting for us much to our surprise and my delight.
I thanked Giles for his beautiful flowers giving him a special kiss.
As we walked to meet Charley I found out that it was Shonali who had arranged all this.

We entered the bar where we were to meet and the first people we saw was Charley and Rob. Kelly took the hump and muttered, “If you think I’m playing wallflower.... “
She never got any further as a really hunky guy approached Si and Giles saying, “Hi guy’s I’ve been waiting for a while what you having to drink?”

Giles turned to Kelly saying, “I hope you don’t mind but Shoni suggested you may be up for a blind date!”
Kelly was speechless as she devoured this hunk of a man with her eyes. So taking the chance Si continued, “Kelly this is Conan – Conan this lovely girl is Kelly who I told you about.”
Conan smiled a gleaming smile and then I recognised him he was a weather presenter on the local TV station. (I was wondering how I knew him!)

He took Kell’s hand and gallantly raised it to his lips kissing it. I noticed his eyes never left Kelly’s and I think (read hoped) that there was a spark between them!
Kelly giggled saying, “I’ve never hand my hand kissed before” Ok Conan said and promptly kissed her hand again lingering a bit longer this time!

“I’ll help you with the drinks – if you want me to” a very breathlessly Kelly managed to say. Conan smiled telling Kelly, “If you’re sure – thanks.”

The two of them headed to the bar while the rest of us joined Rob and Charley we had a really wonderful evening, which lasted well into the night.
Kelly and Conan had been an inspired match, as they got on like a house on fire they complemented each other perfectly.
This was brilliant as we all could go out as a group.

On an outing to the ladies Charley commented to us, “I think this could really bring Rob out of his shell.
He needs to meet people outside the university environment.” As usual with Charley she knew exactly what she was saying.

The next day we all got ready for work together it was really great. Since my decision to live as Susanna I have never felt out of place with my three friends and they have never treat me any different this is still the case but now as a complete girl I felt for some reason more engaged with my three best friends.

Now I was wrestling with a demon of my own. I was getting to the stage where I think I was starting to love Giles! My problem is do I tell him or do I keep quiet about my past life?

I thought about this a lot especially after the Gender Recognition Panel allowed my birth certificate to be changed – this small thing was a big deal for me!
So now I was officially Susanna Emma Johnson and in the sex part of the certificate it had the (to me) magic word Female so now in every sense I was a girl.

I asked literally everyone for advice. My Aunty Val, my counsellors Jill and Gwen and my surgeon all of them told me that it was entirely my decision, which didn’t help me much as I had realised this already.

My Aunty Val went further telling me, “Look Susanna as far as I am concerned you are my niece and I love you dearly you really have to do what you think is right.

Of course I asked my friends and they said that I should keep quiet about it then Charley said, “You know I hate liars and what we are telling you to do is lie – but I love you and don’t want to see you hurt so just this once you have my blessing to lie!”
This was a big concession from Charley one which I really appreciated and caused tears to spring into my eyes.

It was Shonali who really made my mind up she said, “Susie I know what us three are saying to you. But we all know you and your bloody misplaced sense of right and wrong so really we all know that you’ll ignore us and tell him!”

The other two nodded in agreement and so my mind was made up I would tell Giles about my past now the question was where and when!

All these conversations took place over a number of weeks. I had continued to see Giles and the four of us went out all together.
So I agonised. I loved being kissed by Giles I adored feeling his hands gently stroke me as lovers do.
I listened to his endearments I was hungry for his kisses and I was head over heels in Love with him! ------------- Whoa what have I just admitted?

I must admit I procrastinated over this a lot, a real lot as I knew that when I told him things could irreversibly change and I was afraid – really, really afraid but finally I decided that I have to go through with it. Finally in early August the time was right.

We arranged to go to the coast for the weekend and I decided to tell him on the way there making sure that I was close to a station so I could get home if he rejected me.

I dressed very carefully that morning wearing tight shorts and a tunic style top. The shorts emphasised my pert bottom long smooth legs and were tight enough to show I was most definitely female.

The original plan was for us to stay the weekend but we would see. If we were still an item after I had told him he could take my virginity! If he still wanted to.
He would be my lover or so I desperately hoped and prayed.

As we drove out of Manchester on the M56 he surprised me by leaving the motorway saying, “Let’s visit Chester Zoo”
I was all for this as this could be the time and place in a public place but not to public.
When we arrived at the Zoo I insisted on paying for the two of us – my reason for this was that if he did reject me he couldn’t accuse me of sponging off him illogical as I now realise: but my head was a mess and I was not thinking logically. (Or as we say here ‘my head was a shed – full of rubbish!’)

As we walked around hand in hand I was thinking that if everything ends here at least it would have been a nice day.

We bought an ice cream and sat down watching the African animals I knew that it must be now.
It was a gorgeous August day warm but not oppressive. “Susie” Giles started but I stopped him saying, “Giles I have something to tell you that will probably make you hate me!”
He looked at me with a concerned look asking, “Why so serious a look – it doesn’t suit your beautiful face. C’mon spit it out it can’t be that bad.”

I took a deep breath saying, “It could be that bad Giles - it could be.” “Look sweetheart for god sake tell me what is so bad!” He insisted.
Tears were just behind my eyes I could feel them. Haltingly I started, “Giles I really think a lot about you but I’ve been living a lie with you.” He started to speak but I stopped him with a wave of my hand.

My tears were flowing now concerned he took my hands and stroked them to try and calm me – but I was too far-gone I was an emotional wreck.

Stricken I looked at him telling him through the sobs wracking my body, “Giles there is no easy way to tell you this I’m not what I seem that stay in hospital was for my final operation – you see I was born into the wrong body!”

A wracking sob shook my whole body as grief stricken I sobbed, “I’m so very, very sorry I’ve not told you before but I was born a boy!”

There it was out I had told him but I was a wreck. Tears were coursing down my face and dripping off my chin my body was wracked by heaving sobs my ice cream was on the floor forgotten.
And Giles? Well he was simply sat there stroking my hands.

He took one hand away I mumbled, “Do you want me to go?” He didn’t answer I sat there awaiting his verdict on me.
His hand touched my chin and I flinched ready for the blow but all he did was lift my face to look me in the eyes.
He regarded me solemnly my tears were flowing so I could barely see him.

Finally after what seemed an age he spoke.
In a flat voice he asked me, “Why have you told me?” I sobbed, “I simply had to; it simply wasn’t right to carry on deceiving you especially as I have feelings for you!”
He nodded deep in thought then he said, “What feelings do you have for me?”

Stricken I softly mumbled, “I am in love with you!” He touched my cheek again I flinched he smiled softly and told me, “Susanna please stop flinching I’m not going to resort to hitting you – I love you too much for that.”
I managed to sob, “But I’ve just told you that........” He butted in saying, “Yes I heard - now what did I just say?”

My voice broke when I told him, “You said you wouldn’t hit me because” I stopped as his words sunk in then one word at a time I stammered, “Because... you... love... Oh God “

I stopped and looked at him in awe and whispered, “You love me – really?”
He nodded I started, “Even after what I’ve told you?”
He put his finger to my lips saying, “Shush let me speak now – OK” I nodded not sure what was coming.

He took hold of my hands again and I will admit I was starting to feel hopeful he began, “Susanna I remember the first time I saw you it was from behind as you were bobbed down to unplug the computers. I thought then from behind she looks good - a gorgeous pert feminine bum! I love your bum!”

I couldn’t help myself I blushed and gave a small smile. “Good” he said, “You look beautiful when you smile.” Then he carried on, “When you turned I was confronted by every mans dream of beauty and I fell instantly in love with you!” “Oh” I gasped.

He carried on, “I fell madly in love with a vivacious, attractive, highly feminine and very sexy girl.”
He stopped land our eyes met then he finished, “And I’m still in love with that same girl called Susanna. And I believe she feels the same – yes?”
I looked at him in adoration but I had to make sure I gasped, “What I told you.......”

Again he stopped me, “Susanna I will admit when you told me I was stunned! At first I thought it was some kind of joke – then I realised you were so upset.
I really had to think things through which in the end didn’t take very long as I honestly love you.”

He paused looking at me gently then continued, “You! Who you are now! Not who you were. But YOU that vivacious, attractive highly feminine and incredibly sexy girl I first saw in the office!”

He leant forward and oh so gently kissed my lips as our lips touched he murmured, “I Love You.”
I relished his kiss and in turn mumbled, “And I really and truly love you!” Our kiss then became serious and my heart was bursting with joy he knew about me and didn’t care.

Finally we parted and I looked at him I had to ask, “Are you sure I mean really sure?”
He didn’t answer simply reached into his pocket and came out with a small box. My heart stopped surely..........

Before my eyes he went down on one knee and said, “Susanna I love you and want to Marry You will you be my wife?”

My hand went to my mouth as I looked at him. Finally It sank in he had asked me to marry him! “Yes Oh Yes” I managed to blurt out laughing and crying at the same time throwing my arms around him.

My eyes were the size of saucers as I watched him slip the small diamond ring on my finger.
“I must look an absolute mess” I sighed remembering that not too long ago I was a broken woman – now I was in heaven.
After a while we resumed our walk around the zoo being arm in arm now had a whole different meaning to us.

I found a toilet and tidied myself up we left the Zoo and Giles asked, “Shall we stay here in Chester?” I looked at his handsome face and gave a broad smile telling him, “Yes oh yes please.”
We drove into the city and managed to get a room in a very old hotel as we walked in I whispered to him, “A double room – please.” His smile said it all.

I will not dwell on that weekend, it is suffice to say my first experience of being made love to as a whole woman was to me wonderful truly wonderful – I was complete.

When we returned home my friends were on tenterhooks wanting to know how things had gone.
All I did was show them my engagement ring my beaming smile said it all.

But I wasn’t the only one to get engaged Rob had also proposed to Charley and she was getting married in 9 months time with us three as bridesmaids.

She asked me if I would mind if she asked my Aunty and Uncle if they would take the place of her own parents – what a silly question did I mind? NOT ONE LITTLE BIT!

Robs proposal unlike my own was a very public affair I was so sorry that I missed it.
While Giles and I were in Chester Rob and the gang went out into the city centre on the same day Giles proposed to me.
They were sat outside one of the many café’s and bars having a drink when a string quartet appeared and started playing everyone thought it was part of the entertainment until they started playing Brian Adams ‘Everything I Do’ this was the signal for Rob to go down on one knee and ask very publicly if Charley would marry him!
At first Charley didn’t notice Rob as she was watching the quartet, it was only when Shoni touched her knee and nodded in Rob’s general direction did she notice.
When she realised what was happening she burst into tears and accepted on the spot saying (and I quote as I wasn’t there) ‘Oh yes Rob – but we get married soon!’
Then they had a bout of tongue wrestling while the whole square applauded the two of them – champagne appeared and the rest as they say is history so the wedding was arranged for May 1st!
Nine months time you may think that this is a long time but as we found out looking for dresses is a stressful business.

I was over the moon for her. Her and Rob had been together for less than a year but they were so suited to one another it simply had to be.
I asked Charley whose idea was it she gave me that wry smile and answered, “Rob proposed to me but I had to drop some very heavy hints.”
Now we had to go shopping for a wedding dress and bridesmaid’s dresses also flower girl dresses for Izzy, Annie and Millie (my nieces).

Four attractive young girls got onto the bus all in their very early 20's dressed very fashionably in Micro Mini skirts towering heels, tight tops and short jackets, they were going shopping for three bridesmaid dresses and a wedding dress oh and three flower girl dresses.