This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred, NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs.

Thursday I contacted Jill my counsellor and she managed to fit me in late that very afternoon. And she asked me to bring Shonali along.
When Shoni and I discussed this it was obvious that it must be something to do with India.

Our grocery order arrived and after filling the freezer and fridge the three of us did the other mundane things in life namely cleaning and doing the washing.

We sorted Charley out with drawer space for the clothes she had bought which were mainly underwear, tights, some jeans, a few tops and a couple of skirts and a warm quilted jacket!
This was until her room was finished when she’d have loads of wardrobe space and loads of drawers.

The designer arrived and produced some sketches. Charley picked the colour scheme she liked and between us we chose the design of wardrobe and drawers – now to when the work could be done.
The designer phoned the decorator who had half a day free to do the room (Half a day! It would have taken us a week!)
The following Thursday the room would be decorated and the furniture delivered and fitted on the Friday.
So like last time I left the designer the key to the flat and one of his team would oversee the work.
All we had to do was empty the room! Which we could do before we went to Leeds and Kelly.

Then it was time for my appointment with my counsellor, we decided that we’d all go and call in at the Cross Keys where we used to work to see if any of the crowd was still frequenting the place. Then we could go to the Taj for something to eat.
So the three of us dressed semi smart skin-tight jeans, sparkly tops and fashion boots – I know I am biased but we looked HOT!

At Jill’s office Charley waited in reception while Shoni and I went in.
As we had thought Jill wanted Shonali to describe what she had seen that strange and fateful day in Northern India.
As Shonali told her tale it brought everything rushing back talking to my family touching them actually feeling them feeling the love.

I became very emotional remembering.

Then it was my turn, through the tears and emotion I told Jill my story and finished by asking her, “Do you think we’re crazy?”

I have always trusted Jill as my councillor for her candour and professionalism. However this time she was less sure but said, “Susanna no the two of you aren’t crazy – you certainly experienced something but what it was I personally have no idea.”

She looked steadily at me then asked, “Now what Susanna?”

This took no thinking on my part so I answered, “Now I know what was stopping me taking the final step and knowing that my family approve I want to become who I am – Susanna – it’s that simple Jill.”
Jill gave a broad smile saying, “Well you found the way to take this final step all by yourself! I’ll contact Dr. Kendrick and we’ll set things in progress – if that’s ok with you?”

Beaming with happiness I confirmed that this is what I wanted.
Jill gave a bit stretch and sighed, “It’s been a long day – I think I’ve earned my glass of wine tonight”
On the spur of the moment I asked, “Jill we’re going to the Keys then the Taj do you feel like coming with us?”
She thought for a moment then answered, “That sounds good girls but my husband has to come too as I was meeting him in town but he can meet us there. He used the Keys when he was at Uni too – in fact that’s where I met him.”

So it was arranged and the four of us got the bus to the university area and headed to the Cross Keys.
When we arrived there were still some there that we knew and soon we were back into the girls versus boys pool teams.
BUT now us girls had our secret weapon namely Charley who was ace at pool! Her dad had taught her how to play.
Much to the delight of the girls with myself, Jill and Charley we girls really kicked arse much to the delight of the regular girls and the disgust of the guy’s!

“Hi Susanna you’re looking well.” I turned around and there stood Rob I hadn’t seen him for over 18 months.
“Rob” I squealed giving his a hug and a peck on the cheek, “How are you keeping.”
While we caught up I introduced him to Charley, Jill and her husband Steve. (It seemed strange to be calling someone by the name that used to be mine)

It turns out that Rob was doing a postgraduate degree course in Medieval History something or other.

BUT - and here is the BIG thing. I was very much yesterday’s girl!

Today’s girl was our Charley and from the looks they kept giving each other the attraction was very, very mutual.

I glanced at Shonali and nodded towards the toilet we excused ourselves and headed to the loo.

Shoni said, “Looks like you’ve been dumped sister!” I grinned and was about to answer then the door opened and Jill walked in.
She saw the two of us standing talking and said, “I guess you are discussing your friend Charley and her new friend?”

The two of us giggled - Shoni commented, “There’s certainly an attraction there.” So between the three of us we decided that we’d give them the chance to be alone and go to eat just the four of us.

Both Rob and Charley knew where we lived and Charley could get in as she had the access code and an apartment key.

When we left the toilet I think the three of us did a double take Rob had moved to sit next to Charley and the two of them were in a deep conversation about something and it was a very tactile discussion.

We said that we were going to eat and would see them later. Charley looked a bit worried until Shoni said, “Why don’t you stay here and talk to Rob, you know where we live and Rob’s a perfect gentleman we’ll see you later – ok?”

Without giving her time to think Shonali, myself, Jill and Steve left to go down the street to the Taj Indian Restaurant.

This was the best Indian Restaurant in the area and being mainly a student area it was very reasonably priced. I liked Jill both as a councillor and a person and her husband Steve was brilliant company.

Jill knew about Rob and myself from our counselling sessions even though she had made the no work rule she simply had to ask me if I minded Charley and Rob becoming an item.

I laughed out loud at this and answered, “Good lord no Rob and myself would never work I need someone who I can argue with – Rob is just so very, very nice he’s a complete gentleman.”

We left about nine and headed to the bus as we walked Shonali said to me, “Susie you say you don’t mind about Gill and Rob.
There are not many girls who get dumped by two separate blokes on the same day and then say that they don’t mind! I’d be planning to murder one or both of them!”

We reached the bus stop and I squeezed her arm telling her, “But I’m not just any girl Shoni – I’m not even a girl.”

Shonali was about to argue but I stopped her carrying on, “Look Shoni you are my best friend so I feel comfortable telling you this.”
I took a deep breath and continued, “While we were away especially after India I have done a lot of thinking and one of the things I had decided was to not commit to any man until I was a complete woman.”

Shoni looked at me I could see she was thinking about what I had just said then she looked me straight in the eyes and gasped, “You were going to split with Gill and Rob anyway?”
I nodded Shoni giggled and carried on, “I’ve said it before but you are some girl Susanna!”

She squeezed my arm affectionately as the bus arrived saying, “I’m glad we are friends.”
I looked affectionately at her and quietly replied, “And so am I! Without you and Kelly I would never have made it as Susanna!”

We got on the bus and sat down Shoni then told me, “That’s crap Susie you would have made it” then she gave a giggle carrying on, “But you’d have been a bit rough round the edges and not as stylish!” That set us both laughing and lightened our mood a hell of a lot.

We had just arrived home and my phone rang and from the tone I knew it was my Aunty Val. She knew we were back in the UK and the reason we had returned in such a hurry.
She asked how we were and especially Kelly we spoke for a while then on a whim I said, “Aunty Val I was thinking of coming to see you tomorrow if that’s OK?”

I glanced at Shonali who cocked her eye questioningly at me. Aunty Val was - or sounded extremely happy at my news saying, “Oh Susanna that would be wonderful to meet my new niece in person what time are you arriving?”
I confessed I didn’t have a clue on the train times so I promised to phone her when I knew so we left it at that and hung up both of us anticipating tomorrow.

Shonali looked at me saying, “So where are we going tomorrow?” I smiled and said, “I’ve got to face my family sometime so I’m going to Durham to see my Aunty Val.”

Shoni gave that sigh she uses when I’m being silly! I looked at her asking, “What? What’s the matter?”
“Susanna” she sighed, “I SAID where are WE going tomorrow!” I looked at her for a moment then said, “It’s something I have to do........”

She broke in telling me, “I know sweetheart and you are not going alone!” “But” I started when she steamrollered me, “No but’s Susanna I’m going with you – and I suspect Charley will want to come to as she is very fond of you.”

Secretly I was pleased at this however I would have gone by myself but with my friends there I would feel loved if my family rejected me.
I simply said, “Oh well if you’re certain”

“I’m certain Susie, I’m certain.” Was all she said. So for the rest of the night we spent looking train times and packing as we had decided to stay the weekend at the Travelodge so we booked a room Friday until Monday morning when we would be going to Leeds to stay with Kelly.

Sure enough when Charley came home (with Rob) and we told her where we were going for the weekend we called it a family emergency.
She simply said to Rob, “Sorry Honey but Family call’s I’ll phone you when we get back – OK?”
Rob took it like the man he is and answered, “Family come first Charley – phone me ok?”

Charley promised then gave him a passionate kiss in front to us whispering, “Sorry but I’ll make up for tomorrow!”
Then there followed another bout of tongue wrestling between Charley and Rob.

After a somewhat bewildered Rob had left Charley looked dreamily at the door saying to us, “He is a really nice guy he’s so considerate and ------ well so English.”
She looked at me saying, “You sure you don’t mind Susie – Rob told me you used to be an item!”

I gave her a hug telling her, “That was in the past Charley but you’re right he in a really nice guy – but he needs a strong girl like you!” Charley looked dreamily at the door murmuring, “Well he’s got one if he want’s it.”

I have a feeling Charley was smitten with Rob and I think the feelings were very mutual – good for them both I thought.

We packed our bags for the week then went to bed. I must admit I was very worried about actually meeting Aunty Val in person and started wondering what I should wear. Now this is a BAD thing for a girl to do before she goes to sleep!

After changing my mind about 200 times I finally decided on a knitted dress that really suited me it was dark green and really brought out my eye’s and hair! Also sensible pair of boots and my cream quilted parka with the fur collar.
So it was well after midnight that I got to sleep to be woken by my alarm clock at seven!

We all met up in the kitchen the first thing Shoni asked was, “What are you wearing Susie?”
I told her my choice and added that I want to look feminine but not too girly-girly so I had decided on the knitted dress.
She thought about it for a while and agreed deciding that as we were going girly she would wear a dress.
So that forced Charley’s hand and we raided my wardrobe for Charley a dress.

I phoned my Aunty at nine and told her that we were catching the 10am train. I told her that two of my friends are coming with me and we plan to sleep at the travel-lodge.
I must admit that she did sound a bit disappointed that either because I was not staying at her house or that I was bringing two friends with me.

We arrived in Durham just before noon. For those of you who have never been there when you get off the train and turn to face the opposite platform you have the most amazing view of the Castle and the Cathedral – Durham is called ‘The Land of the Bishop Princes’.

I don’t think Charley had ever actually seen something this old that was man made.
She was mesmerised looking at the impressive sight I said to her, “I’m really glad you came – isn’t it spectacular?”
“Can we get close to it?” she asked I nodded telling her, “Do you want to go around it tomorrow?” “Oh yes you bet” was the reply.

As we turned and picked up our cases a woman approached; who I recognised – my Aunty Val.
My suppressed nerves rose to the surface how would she react when she saw me in the flesh.
It was one thing on the phone or emailing but to actually meet me was something else entirely.

“Susanna?” she asked in a questioning voice. My throat was as dry as a bone hesitantly I nodded. “Oh god” she gasped, “You are exactly like Helen! Err your mother. She looked exactly the same when she was your age!”
Then she ran the few steps separating me and threw her arms around me hugging me to her.

It was like a dam had burst inside me I had been dreading and perversely looking forward to this moment for so long!
And now I was in the arms of one member of my family who seemed to accept me for what I was – Susanna.

“Aunty Val” I sobbed for I was an emotional wreck, “You don’t mind? Honestly you don’t mind?”
She held me at arms length looked me up and down then hugged me to her again telling me, “No Lass I don’t mind you are a beautiful young woman. But I will admit I was dubious as to how I’d feel – but now no all my doubts have gone love.”

We released each other and aunty Val looked at Shoni and Charley. Proudly I introduced my friends, “Guy’s this is my Aunty Val. This is Shonali and this is Charley” then I added, “She’s and American!”

Charley grinned at my aunty and commented, “Pleased to meet you ma’am. You’re ok - you can’t catch being an American!”

I was mortified, “I didn’t mean ...... err I meant ...... but I only.” Charley gave me a broad grin saying, “Susie shut up girl before you die of embarrassment – we know what you meant! Pleased to meet you Ma’am.” The last part was directed to my aunty.

Everyone was grinning at my discomfort but the ice had been broken. My aunty said. “Girls please call me Val Ma’am makes me feel older than I am!”
We walked out of the station talking away like we all had known each other for years. I was silent thinking ‘well this is one member of my family who doesn’t hate me’

“What will uncle Frank say?” I worriedly asked my aunty. She simply smiled and told me, “Ask him” I looked around and saw a man looking at us with amazement etched all over his face. “Eeeee Val she looks just like your Helen!” he exclaimed.

Then to me her said, “Well lass aren’t you going to give me a hug.” I was so happy as I ran into his arms and received a big hug from him. Once again I was an emotional wreck.

After he had let me go he said to us all, “Right girls pile in and let’s get you home and settled in! And before you say anything we’ve cancelled your booking I’m not having my new niece stopping at a hotel.”

I looked at my aunty; she simply shrugged and said, “His idea not mine love.” I was dazed things were going far better than I could ever have dreamed about.

We arrived home their house was a three bedroom semi detached built in the thirties, we were shown our bedrooms and I had the smallest room to myself.
So we sorted ourselves out then went downstairs to talk.

While my aunty and uncle talked about the family and their reaction to my changes we told them about our travels.

About half past three the front door opened and a voice shouted, “It’s only us Mam!” Aunty Val commented that’s our Beth she’s just picked the kids up from school.

A woman of about 24 came in and smiled at us she directed her gaze at me and said, “Hi Susanna I’m your cousin Beth.”
Quietly I told her, “I know, I recognised you from when we were young but how.........”
“Did I know you? Family resemblance love” Beth finished then added, “But you’ve changed a lot – and for the better!” I was introduced to her kids, two little girls about 4 and 6.

Soon we were happily playing with them on the rug having a great time aunty Val warned me I’d make a mess of my dress. I simply grinned I was having so much fun I loved children!

Finally the girls were tired out the younger sat on my knee sucking her thumb while Charley had the elder who was fascinated by Charley’s accent asking her all sorts of questions – it was great to watch our Charley being interrogated by a blond haired 6 year old bundle of curiosity!

Finally I had to ask the question that was uppermost in my mind. I cleared my throat and asked, “Don’t any of you mind about...... Well about me?”

They looked at me and it was Beth who answered; she shuffled up alongside me and put her arm around me giving me a squeeze she started, “Look Susanna when mum first found out – well she was shocked.” “That right mam?”
My aunty nodded Beth carried on, “ She came to me and we talked it through then we both went on the Internet to find out more.”

She smiled and added; “You can’t half find some crap on the web but there are some sensible sites. So once we had sorted things out in our own minds we were really fine with what you had decided to do. After all it’s not everyday your cousin becomes a girl is it!”

I blushed and mumbled, “I suppose not” I was embarrassed but Beth gave me another squeeze and said, “Look we know this must be hard for you. God knows it’s hard enough for us to know how to treat you!”

Then she realised how that last statement sounded and started to apologise when Charley spoke, “I know I’m not family but I know Susie very well so please treat her just like any other girl. She is a loving, caring and compassionate human being I’m proud to call my best friend.”

Beth Nodded then carried on, “You’re right Charley what I just said came out all wrong and I’m so sorry Susie.
When Mam showed us pictures of you and I saw that you were so very happy and very pretty so I thought what the hell it’s her life.

Then we had to tell the old dinosaur over there.” She said this nodding towards her dad. Uncle Frank raised his eyebrows and said, “And?”
Beth snorted and told us, “The old bugger simply looked over his paper and said fine as long as he’s happy.

That was the last time he has ever spoke of you as a male! After that when he asked about you he always referred to you as our Susanna or simply she.”

I felt really good about this and said so.

Beth carried on saying, “Well Susie; tonight you’ll meet some more of the family, our Robin (Beth’s brother) Eva his wife and kids will be there.
” Uncle Frank chipped in saying, “Oh we forgot to tell you we’re going out for a meal about six so you can meet them, there may also be some others there but we haven’t invited them!

“How have the other’s in the family reacted?” I asked anxiously. Rather unusually it was Uncle Frank that answered.
Now I think most families have an ‘Uncle Frank’! He’s the normally quiet one but when he speaks people listen.

“Look Susie” he began, “Val and I have discussed this. Val is your mothers only family and that tosser in Australia is your fathers only family.”
(It seemed strange to my ears to hear my uncle refer to someone in those terms)
So all the rest around here are my family and to be honest they know I’ve got nieces and nephews but they haven’t a clue who they are apart from they’re related to me. Now girl a question for you – how many people know about you?”

I thought then answered, “There’s the girls. You and Aunty Val, Beth and Robin, my councillor and my tutor at uni and that’s about all.” Shoni added, “there’s the Dean at Uni and my brother Susie you’ve forgot about them.” Then Charley added, “And Ceri” I nodded my thanks to them then said, “Well that’s about 12 or 13 people.”

Uncle Frank continued, “And I assume that everything’s in your new name?” I nodded answering, “Except my birth certificate but that’ll be changed after my operation.”
He continued saying, “Let’s keep it that way I would suggest. I know that there are some bigots in my family but look girl only those that matter know. Why tell anyone else?”

I sat there and thought about this then I glanced at Shoni who was now being interrogated by Charley’s inquisitor.
Shonali nodded saying, “it does make sense Susie.”
I then looked at Charley who looked deep in thought. Slowly she nodded and said, “Why tell people that you don’t really know and that could hurt you – what your uncle says makes a lot of sense.”

I turned to my aunt and uncle my mind made up saying, “Ok, it makes sense to me too so we’ll do as you suggest after all you know best.”

Now that was settled Beth said, “It does make sense Susie. The old Grump does speak sense ----- at times!”
Then she stood up saying, “Come on kids we’ve got to get home and get ready for tonight!”

Uncle Frank got up saying and I’m getting to the bathroom now else I’ll never get in there with 4 bloody women in the house!
And with that he disappeared to the only bathroom in the house. Aunty Val shouted after him, “And don’t take all day you Frank!” Followed by, “And don’t use all the hot water either!”

After Uncle Frank had disappeared to the bathroom and Beth had gone home to get ready for this evening Aunty Val looked at us three then said to Shonali and Charley, “I take it you came with Susie in case you had to pick the pieced up?”

Shonali squirmed a bit uncomfortably saying, “Well something like that, Susanna is our friend.”

Aunty Val smiled broadly at them telling them, “Thanks for being so honest Susanna is very lucky to have two good friends like you.” Charley butted in saying, “There is another but she was stupid enough to have got bitten by a snake!”

“Ahhh yes Kelly isn’t it?” We nodded I added, “She’s with her mum getting killed with kindness – we’re going to see her on Monday.”