This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred, NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs.

We got to the Bar-b-q well before the food would be ready so we had time to get some sun. Charley had brought her guitar and there was a guy who played the fiddle and another who had a clarinet!
And of course Kelly with her mouth organ thanks to Charley’s lessons Kelly could make some music on it and I do emphasise the some!

Three of us girls could sing reasonably well so we entertained the rest of the group Shoni and Jim were really getting to know each other and Shoni looked happy - really happy.
Since the episode with Clive she had been reserved and tended to stay with us as a group.
If you didn’t know her like we did you wouldn’t notice – but Kelly and I noticed.

Kelly and I spoke and agreed that Shoni seemed to be relaxing talking to Jim. Jim went to get a beer and I quietly said to Shoni, “Rule 1?”
She thought for a second and shook her head saying, “No I feel safe with Jim I’m going to cricket with him tomorrow.”
Charley overheard and asked, “What’s cricket?” Now trying to explain cricket to someone who has never seen it is to say the least difficult.
Jim returned with the beers and he tried to explain. In the end it was decided that we all would go to the cricket match tomorrow.

Boxing day is a big days for sport we were working tomorrow night to catch everyone leaving the sports venues.
It was really late when we packed up Gaye (Jims sister) joined us so we had another car to ferry us all back to the hostel.
Jim, Gaye and Shonali left us at the hostel Shoni went to Gaye and Jim’s parents for a few hours.
We had a few beers then went up to the room where we sat on the beds sipped some wine and had some of the chocolates Kelly had bought (and these were really scrummy – have I mentioned that before?)

Charley was wondering what to do with the medal so I asked, “Charley are you travelling to England with us?” “Sure” she answered, “Why?” I thought for a second and told her, “Well you could post it by registered delivery either to your Aunty in Chicago or to Kelly’s mum to look after it!” Charley thought about this and agreed that it would be safer doing this than carrying such a precious thing with us.

We were still talking when Shoni arrived back she was looking – well the only way to describe it is radiant.
Kelly remarked, “Someone looks happy?” dropping the hint as to spill the beans.
Shoni simply grinned and remarked, “Very happy thank you” and that was it!
I decided to go into ‘boy mode’ during the day at cricket. Because when I was working; especially with the skimpy tight skorts even my small bits and bob’s would be noticed.
We finally went to sleep about two in the morning Shoni was up at nine and was ready for going out was she keen or what!
We dragged ourselves out of bed and dressed to go to the cricket ground.
This was a fascinating day for Charley we tried to explain the technicalities of the game to her - but it was very much like American Football and me - the game was a mystery to her.
The four of us left about five and went back to the hostel to get ready for work.
I went into girl mode and we headed for work behind the bar.

Another good fast night Jim came in and was monopolising Shoni. He took us back to the hostel and when we left the two of them they were starting to explore each other’s tonsils.
Next day we went to see about hiring bicycles. It was the same guy that has explained the cycle route to us and he remembered us. The place we were hiring the bikes from was called ‘Natural High’ they hired bikes here in Auckland (North Island) and we could drop them off in Christchurch. (South Island)
The bikes were fitted with back panniers and a front pannier they supplied helmets maps AND as an added bonus any gear we couldn’t get onto the bikes they would forward to Christchurch for us to pick up when we dropped the bikes off. We instantly thought backpacks.

After talking to the guy the bikes we hired were Cannondale Touring T2, we hired them for about 3 months and it only cost us NZ$700 each! And if we wanted to extend the hire period all we needed to do was phone them
We would pick them up on the 2nd of January!

We continued working. New Years eve was absolutely manic. We were working until four in the morning and by the time we got back to the hostel the sun was up!
January 1st the bar had a bar-b-q and to make up for our lack of sleep it didn’t start until three in the afternoon all food and drink paid for by Tony.
On the 2nd January we picked up our bicycles and went to the bar to collect our wages. We had worked 8 hours a day for 9 days. Our wages were NZ$900 (ish) but my tips came to NZ$2650 and the others had a similar amount.
In effect our stay in Auckland had cost us nothing, in fact between the four of us we were nearly NZ$10,000 up! All of which went into our travel account keeping some cash back for food and stuff while we were in some of the more remote areas.

We loaded the bikes as all our gear was very lightweight we could get everything on the bikes. (Including our backpacks AND Charley’s guitar she simply was not leaving that!)
The hire shop gave us a suggested route map with distances the route was a logical sequence starting from the north of North Island then all around North Island using cycle ways and roads to the ferry port then all around the South Island finishing up at Christchurch from where we would fly to Australia.

We said our goodbyes to everyone we had me in the hostel of course promising to keep in touch and knowing that if our paths crossed we would but in all probability we wouldn’t.
Shoni said a tender farewell to Jim I think there really was something there and so did Kelly.
In fact I heard Kelly quietly say, “You know you can stay here if you want, and pick us up in Christchurch.”
But Shonali was having none of it and left with the three of us from now on it was mainly camping.

Our total distance North and South Island was about 3400km this was mainly on the Nga Haerenga cycle trails and also the roads between the different trails.
We reckoned that if we could average 150km a day we could easily get this done plus some tourist time!
So finally we set off headed north to do the Twin Coast Cycle Trail. Before we started our tour of New Zealand we decided to stay a night at a place called Whangarei that is north of Auckland.

The campsite we chose was Whangarei Central, which as the name suggested is nearly in the centre of the town just off Tarwera Road we pitched our tent under the willow trees and set off to explore we visited the Kiwi North which had a actual captive Kiwi also a Maori museum a homestead and school it was a really relaxing place. Next back to the city to get some food and have a look around.

Cycling back we headed to the river where we figured out that we could do some sight seeing and eat!
Reaching the river we were not disappointed the views across were great and there were café’s and food outlets we decided to have a walk first so pushing our bikes we simply looked at the different yachts that were moored wondering who owned them and stupid stuff like that.

As we sat discussing the ships a voice behind us commented, “They’re boat’s not ships girls!” Then a middle-aged woman sat down beside us and conversationally asked, “English?” Kelly answered for us “Yes and from your accent so are you.” The woman nodded smiling and asked us what we were doing so far from home.
We told her of our journey then asked her the same question she answered, “I live on that one there.” Nodding to a boat called ‘Hi Earth’ she continued, “I love New Zealand so I visit here as much as I can – or as much as the immigration authorities let me” she said the latter with an ironic grin.

Shonali then asked the question that was also bothering me, “Err what’s the difference?” The woman looked confused so Shoni elaborated, “Sorry but what’s the difference between a ship and a boat?”
Then remembering my manners I introduced us, “I’m being ignorant I’m Susie, the blonde’s Kelly, the curious one’s Shoni and the quiet one’s our American interpreter Charley but she’s not often all that quiet!” Charley gave a snort at this. Then the woman introduced herself as Ayeshu.
Charley asked, “You sail that boat all the way here?” she nodded “Who was with you?” Kelly asked. Ayeshu smiled and told us, “No one – just me!” This impressed us no end - in fact we were in awe.

How to describe Ayeshu well I would say that she was about the size of Charley and I that is about 5’ 10; she had light brown hair and was very slender no doubt through all the sailing she did her smile was open and welcoming even to a bunch of girls like us full of questions and talking over each other.

“Do you girls fancy a cup of tea?” she asked. Did we ever we were parched so we stood up expecting to go to a café but no Ayeshu headed for her boat.
This involved a trip in a (what looked to us) a very small dingy thingy! Slightly nervous we hung back. She turned and said, “Come on it won’t sink – at least it hasn’t up to now!”
So we followed her onto this ittsy bitsy little dingy thingy then onto her yacht where we spent a really nice afternoon drinking tea (this woman seemed to be tea powered) and talking. We went on a grand tour of her ship (oops sorry boat) which as it was only 27 feet long didn’t take much time.
She was very reticent to speak about herself you would think that she was an international spy or something!
But our continual stupid questions must have worn her down and we found out she had sailed around the world BY HERSELF (well impressed) been through the North West passage (we had to ask where that was) as crew on someone else’s yacht AND she had even sailed down to Antarctica! (Even more impressed.) To say we were amazed is putting it mildly she was really an amazing person and oh so friendly.
I personally even though I had only known her a short time felt a real affinity to her – why I don’t know but I seemed to have something in common with her.

As we prepared to leave we mentioned that we had to get some food she decided to get some food as well so back into the dingy thingy and the five of us ended up at a chip shop that did ‘mussel fritters to die for’ her words not mine. (Never tried these before)
Then after stuffing our faces we ended up having a couple of beers with her before heading back to the campsite. After promising to have a look around Sydney harbour, as that was her next port of call.

We learned a couple of things that afternoon one was you are never too old to live your life as you want to and two she was right about the fritters they were dreamy.
However we never did find out the difference between a ship and a boat!

After Whangarei we were going to cycle the Two Coast Trail and start working our way around the North Island. But we got side tracked by Whangarei Adventure Forest – this is great fun where you do all sorts of scary stupid things on trees there are zip wires obstacle courses high wires. We started on the practice Maki Maki Explorer next was the Discovery, Adventure Vertigo finally the Challenge, Adrenaline, Acrobat course. Kitted out in harnesses safety helmets and arrester ropes – we all managed to fall at least once which really got you pumped up.

We only intended staying a couple of hours but had such fun we were there longer than that finally getting away about 3pm which meant we really had to get a move on to make our campsite at the start of the Two Coast Trail.
To get there on time we used every gear on our nine speed cycles and on good tarmacked roads we could really get some speed up.
We managed to get to the campsite before dark and set up boiling some water for a drink and having a sandwich each then sleep.

A quick breakdown of our route around the North Island. We started up in Northland on the Twin Coast Trail this is about 85km and passes through some really historic places and forest areas, all along the trail there are Pou erected along the route. Hand-carved by local iwi, these Pou recall the history and stories of both iwi and Pakeha settlements in and around the area.
Next we passed Auckland stocking up on food then headed for the Hauraki Rail Trail. Next was the Te Ara Ahi which is described as thermals by Bike and is a 51 km cycle ride through a thermal wonderland of steaming vents, bubbling mud pools and spectacular geysers You really have to see these to believe them.

And so it went on spectacular trail after spectacular trail with amazing countryside and friendly people.
We found that our schedule of 150km a day was easily achievable in fact some days we managed 200km. And we even did 2 weeks grape picking in the Hawks Bay area.
We camped on the farm and met up with four of the guys we spent Christmas and New Year with.
Everywhere we went we found other travellers and naturally camped together.
With Charley on the guitar Kelly harmonica and Shoni and I vocals we spent some great nights.

At a place called Rotorua we went on a Maori Hungi, which everyone said was an absolute MUST do thing while on the North Island.
And they were right, this is an organised event for the tourists there was about 30 people of all ages in the party going to the Te Pō (the night) plays a significant role in Maori culture, as it is the time when Ranginui (Sky Father) and Papatūānuku (Earth Mother) embraced prior to the creation of Te Ao Mārama (The Natural World).
There you go even I understood the significance of it.
The Hangi is the food, which is prepared in pit ovens and you watch it coming out of these.
The whole ceremony is awesome you get the traditional Maori welcome the Powhiri – the sound of the conch makes your spine tingle it seems so ancient.
A warrior challenges the visitors (The Wero) this is followed by a woman bidding us welcome with a chant called the Karanga (welcome call).
After this there are speeches of welcome and traditional entertainment including the well-known Haka

Then comes the food there are starters of mussels, corn on the cob, traditional rewana bread and dips, and a local drink made from kawakawa extract and manuka honey. This drink is soooooo gorgeous
Then comes main meal; this is an event in itself, with the hangi-cooked foods accompanied by flavored meats, chicken, lamb, vegetables and salads. A range of drinks comes with the meal - wine, beer, juices, tea and coffee.
Then come the sweets Oh we were in heaven it was well worth the expense.

Finally we all went on board the motorised waka for a journey into the valley at night. We really enjoyed the ride and the sights were unbelievable we got off at Pohutu Geyser.
We ended what was an unforgettable evening by sitting upon the warmth of the naturally hot rocks with a delicious hot chocolate. Listening to the guide tell stories while Pohutu Geyser is majestically illuminated beneath the amazing starry skies.

We headed back to our camp site absolutely stuffed full of food and feeling like we had scratched the surface of New Zealand even though it was an arranged tourist event.
From Rotorua then headed towards Wellington and the ferry across the Cook Straights.
Our final cycle trail in the North Island was the Rimutaka trail which we joined a short way in where the main road goes into the trait this took us all the way into the city of Wellington
We decided to have a look around Wellington decided to book into a backpackers hostel.
Some guys we met told us about the Moana Lodge in Plimmerton it was outside the city but had good bus routes.
This was nearly as good as the accommodation in Auckland it was more like a hotel than a hostel.
We got a family room that was ample for us four.
There was a lounge that overlooked the bay a shared kitchen and huge dining room.
Danny the owner found somewhere we could safely store the bikes for the week we were there.

After a month on the road camping we needed a bit of pampering so we showered then really washed and conditioned our hair spending some time being girley.
We tidied up our eyebrows gave each other a manicure and pedicure face pack the works.
Then we dressed in our most feminine clothes and headed for Wellington.
This is a lovely city we spent our week exploring it Cuba Street is really cool shops, bars, café’s, street entertainers and the world famous Bucket Fountain.

We also found a hairdresser that cut and blow-dried our hair for us even though Kelly could trim ours she was a bit wary letting us trim her hair! (I don’t know why)
Then it was time to catch the ferry to the south island we loaded up the bikes and said our goodbyes then off to the ferry terminal.
I would really recommend the ferry from Wellington to Picton. The trip is about 4 hours and the scenery is stunning!
On the way across the Cook Strait my phone rang. It was Aunty Val! I stared at the phone like it was going to bite me.
In truth I had been in turmoil all the way around the North Island – and the girls knew this.

Shonali said, “Susie, for go sake answer it.” I was terrified absolutely terrified!

I pressed the accept button and timidly answered.

“Hi, Aunty Val.” (I didn’t dare say my name in case she hated me!)

“St..... Oh damn Susanna love I’m so sorry I have taken so long
But I was taken ill on New Years Eve.”

“Aunty Val, it wasn’t the shock about me...........” (I was going to carry on but she broke in)

“No you silly girl - that WAS a shock but I think some undercooked Chicken made me poorly.”

“I’m so glad it wasn’t the shock....... (Then I realised) Aunty Val, you just called me a silly girl!”

“Of course darling you told me that you are a girl. Don’t you dare say you’ve changed your mind?
It took me a while to get used to the fact that I now have a niece. And, judging by the pictures a very pretty one at that.”

“Oh Aunty Val thank you, thank you so much (I was crying now with relief I’d been accepted by one member of my family)”

By now I was a complete wreck! I was unable to speak so Shonali took the phone off me explaining to my aunty the state I was in.
Shonali seemed to be getting on with my aunty quite well. This didn’t surprise me at all as Shoni is a real people person.
Eventually I composed myself and got back on the phone – I was so relieved someone had accepted me in my family.

“Aunty Val, sorry about that its that I’m so relieved. I can’t thank you enough for being understanding.”

“Oh darling, I won’t say it was easy but while I was ill I did some reading – and well let me say my eyes were opened. But sweetheart where do we go from here?”

“Aunty Val, I’ve never thought that far, all I knew was that I had to tell someone I loved! Oh, this call must be costing a fortune! Hang up and I’ll call back.”

“Rubbish Susanna – Look sweetheart do you want me to tell anyone to sound out how they feel?”

“I’ll leave it up to you. You know I trust your judgement do what you think is fit!”

“Ok dear I’ll do that but you must promise me two things.”

“Anything, anything you want.”

“Careful St.... Damn! Susanna all I want is for you to visit me when you get back. AND young lady keep in touch you can always text me. Oh and thank the girl who spoke to me earlier she sounded really nice.”

“That’s Shonali” I said with a smile, “She is nice. I promise I’ll keep in touch – I Love you Aunty Val I Love you.”

“And I love you darling I’ll look forward to hearing from you. I think I’ll start by sounding out your Uncle Frank. And speaking of him I suppose I better hang up before he has a heart attack over the phone bill!
Give my love to your friends – Bye, Bye.”

I broke the connection and looked at my three friends I was trembling with relief.
Briskly Kelly said, “There that wasn’t too bad was it?”
I looked amazed and managed to answer, “Bad! Bad! It was terrible! I’ve been tearing myself apart.”
Kell realised that I was a bit overwrought and replied, “Susie I know you’ve been worrying. What I meant was now it’s over you’ve started building bridges with your family.”
“Oh Kell! I knew what you meant it’s just me letting off steam – I’m sorry I jumped down your throat.”

We arrived in Picton mid afternoon and booked into a hostel for a night before setting off around the South Island.

Our route was through the county of Nelson/Tasman onto the west coast Wilderness Trail which was a series of old tracks linked up and was about 120km along the way we tried gold panning, rafting, dolphin watching, jade, wood and bone carving at different craft studios. Then we went on the Around the Mountains Trail – only it wasn’t completed in fact it was hard going with a lot of off trail riding the 200km took us about 5 days and many punctures!

South Island was in many places a lot flatter than the North Island. But when you got to the mountains in the south they were spectacular. And really hard cycling!
If you have ever seen Lord of the Rings then these were those mountains.
Our route around the south island was again logical chosen so we finished up in Christchurch for our next flight to Australia.

We decided that we were going to be adrenalin junkies and do some bungee!
As we would have been camping for 3 weeks by the time we arrived at Queenstown we booked into a hostel.
After looking on the ‘Lonely Planet’ and ‘Trip Advisor’ we decided on the ‘Nomad Hostel’ and booked a 4-bed en-suit dorm for a week.

The Hostel was in the centre of Queenstown we could store the bikes under the building for a nominal fee.
There was a Cinema room, kitchen, sauna, lounge, Internet AND we got a free breakfast!
The dorm was spacious and clean with shower and toilet so the first thing we did was shower, hair wash then head for the sauna.
There was a great crowd staying the mix was about 60:40 boys to girls and everyone was about our age.
Much to our surprise (and theirs) we met up again with Andy and Kelly – so we celebrated.

Next day we booked our Bungee jump at the Nevis Bungie (NZ spelling) we also booked for the ‘swing’ whatever that was! Andy and Kelly had already been there ad decided against doing a jump SO they decided to come with us.
We would be picked up in the morning and driven out to the site.
The next day when we got out to the Nevis bungie and I nearly bottled it! There was a spectacular gorge - wires went across the gorge and you threw yourself out of a gondola suspended about 500’ above the river.
The walkway to the gondola was also hanging on these wires – it was some experience just getting out there! Andy looked at our faces and commented, “See what I mean?” But we were going to do this I for one was determined to conquer my fears.

For some reason I was pushed to the front to go first (thanks friends!). The girls who strapped me up onto the bungie were very friendly very reassuring and really, really helped boost my confidence.
Then I was shuffled to the edge the three witches were watching me egging me on. (Thanks friends!)
The safety gear was checked for the last time and the attendant tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Susie, when you’re ready. LETS BUNGIE!”
I stared at the view it was spectacular then I took a deep breath then launched myself into space!
The feeling was like nothing I had ever experienced before the adrenaline was really pumping everything was a blur – and I was letting out the longest, loudest girlish scream ever!
I screamed until the bungie bounced me at the bottom and then finally on the upward bounce I stopped screaming and drew a breath as I went down for the second bounce - and my second scream.

I had never felt so alive! I was buzzing and I wanted to do it again! They got me recovered onto Terra Firma
I was so full of life it just wasn’t true! I was literally bouncing with the adrenalin I was ribbed something rotten over my wonderfully long girly scream but I wanted to go again!
The other three went – all screamed just as loud – maybe not quite as long as I had done but all three loved it as much as I did! We actually went three times each!
Andy and Kelly were shaking their heads in amazement at the state of us buzzing girls.
Then we went to the swing the girl working there told us, “A tandem swing is better as it gets up more speed and if you do it upside-down it’s even more exciting.”

That was it for me! I paired up with Kelly and demanded we go upside down. She had to agree or else she knew that I’d never let her forget the time she chickened out!
We got secured into the webbing for the swing. Then we were suspended 160m above the river on the end of 120m of swing.
Then we were released – no warning at all! The opposite side of the gorge came rushing towards us, both of us screamed – long and loud.
When we returned to terra firma again we were both bouncing both of us on adrenalin-fuelled highs. (And I had experienced a tremendous orgasm! I was so embarrassed as I headed to the ladies room to clean up)
Then it was Charley and Shoni’s turn they were upside down too Charley faced towards the gorge while Shonali faced away!
When they joined us while we were still high. The two of them were bouncing with the adrenalin rush.
However Shonali was very flushed and she headed to the ladies. I realised I was not alone!
This was the most exciting thing I personally had ever done.
We had paid extra and had photo’s; video’s and on line keep sakes of our experience.

We were still bouncing when we got back to the hostel so we went and booked for the sunrise jet boat ride on the Shotover River.
This was the first ride of the day and was cheaper – but we had to dress warm which was really no problem as with our ‘technical’ clothing we simply added layers.
Up early next morning for the river ride. This is named because it’s the first trip of the day not because it takes place at sunrise. It started at 8:15! I simply don’t know how much more adrenalin my body could take.
You have to wear a life jacket sunglasses and hat a poncho type thing is optional.
You board the ‘big red boat’ as they call it and WOW you skim the canyon walls at about 80kph inches from the rocks. The ride is 25 minutes long and is awesome. Andy and Kelly came on this with us and like us ended up on an adrenaline high.
For an extra $19 you can have an instant replay where you are booked on the next sailing if there’s seats – needless to say we did that and soon we had all been down the canyons three times and were buzzing once again.

Being high on adrenalin certainly gives you an appetite – so we had to eat. When in Queenstown the only place when you’re starving is ‘Fergburger’ so off we trooped.
One hour’s wait and we finally had what can only be described as the best burger in the world! Even Charley said these were the best she had ever tasted. (We laughed when she said this and called her a traitor to American burgers)
I haven’t a clue what was in the sauce but it was amazing. (I am Sorry to all of the USA – but you really must try these! Anybody who has read this entire story knows how much we loved the food in America)

We cycled some of the local Central Otago trails and went up ‘Bob’s Peak’ where we found the Luge Track. This is a cross between carting and the luge and is great fun. Our first ride was under instruction on the easy slope. THEN we were on our own where we raced each other on the steep track and in truth spent more money on this than we should have.

Finally after just over 3 months in New Zealand it was time to move onto Christchurch and our flight to Australia. This last section was reasonably easy. We camped out every night now it was autumn so the nights were getting cooler but it was still pleasant thanks to our hi-spec sleeping bags.
We booked into ‘Dorset House’ hostel and arranged our flights on Air New Zealand for the Wednesday. This was so we had a couple of days to prepare.
The hostel was very close to the shuttle bus to the airport and it was quite close to where we drop the bikes off.
Arriving in Christchurch on the Sunday we decided that on the Monday we would have a girly day.

This would mean that we had spent all our wages!
So in effect we had see the whole of New Zealand without dipping into our main funds what a result!

That night we discussed what had happened so far. Shonali commented, “Girls remember our schedule?”
“Err yes” said Kelly. “Well” Shonali continued, “we aren’t really keeping to it are we”
I was explaining to Charley all about the schedule we had originally devised and which we were already well behind.
Charley nodded and asked, “So are we having fun?” We all nodded at that because we were having great fun.
Charley continued, “Any of us got jobs to go back to?” We all could see where this was going.
Kelly then said, “Charley’s right let’s keep going until we start running out of money!”
This evoked a “YEH” and a high fives from the four of us.

Christchurch was still rebuilding after the earthquake some 14 months earlier however we could see that it had been a beautiful city but the devastation caused by the earthquake was still terrible to behold.
BUT a shopping mall had opened called re-START. Made entirely (I think) of shipping containers and of course we found this (Shops are like a magnet to us).
We also found somewhere that we could get our hair nails and eyebrows professionally done.
After a few hours we all felt like girls again though in a couple of days I would be travelling in ‘boy’ mode.

We wandered around the city; my heart really went out to the poor people who had suffered during the earthquake. But they were rebuilding their lives and were still friendly and cheerful. (How? I simply don’t know)
Then it was time to leave; for some reason I didn’t get into my usual panic about travelling – had I finally come to terms? I simply didn’t know.
This time instead of being androgynous I wore a bra that showed my boobies off. Gone was the tight bun this time I travelled with my hair in a loose bouncy ponytail.
And I had minimal make up on! Sod what my passport said I WAS A GIRL!

So we got to the airport and boarded the Air New Zealand flight to Sydney, a three and a half hour flight. The girls were travelling again!

Footnote: The Around the Mountain Trail should be completed this year, which means I’m going to have to return and take the easier trail – what a bummer!