This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred, NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs.

We settled down for the flight watched a film played games on our phones and of course slept.
We arrived in Auckland on Sunday morning 19th December of course the closer we got to New Zealand the more nervous I got and as usual my visits to the loo were getting frequent.
My friends tried to reassure me but it really didn’t help how I wished my passport didn’t have the tick telling the world I wasn’t the same as I looked.

We disembarked and I felt like I was going to the scaffold! As I stood in the queue my friends behind me I was imagining all sorts of bad scenarios.
But again there was really no trouble the young (and rather dishy) immigration officer just looked carefully at me looked at my passport looked again at me then waved me through - I could breath again!
My friends soon followed me and we boarded the bus into the city of Auckland.

We found our backpacker hostel The City Lodge and some place it was!
About 5 years old and really sumptuous for what we were paying. The staff was brilliant and told us that there would be a Christmas Party for residents.
They also told us about promotional nights and tours which could be organised by the hostel.
We also ordered a deluxe breakfast box each, which we picked up from reception.
The whole place was festooned with Christmas decorations it really felt like a home from home.

We were shown the large lounge and TV room the kitchen and dining room Wi-Fi desk laundry and finally our four-person room.
The room was immaculate with an en-suit bathroom fridge, kettle, TV and fan heater.
The bunks were bigger than a single bunk and the bed linen spotless.
It was so good that we went to reception to see if we could stay until after the New Year - yippee we could!

We had a shower hung up our clothes and I was a girl again (if you see what I mean) then once changed we went to explore the city down in reception we got talking to a couple that were also backpacking they had been there a couple of days and offered to go with us.
We introduced ourselves to Andy and Kelly (yes another Kelly) we laughed saying this could cause some confusion – but we’d adjust
They were a really nice couple they advised us to get some food and showed us the nearest supermarket where we could stock up on the way back.
We wandered down town for a look around being the Sunday before Christmas I would have thought it would have been really busy but it was just steady.
The showed us a bar/nightclub that they said gets really busy as there was live bands and disco most nights so we decided to go in for a beer.

As we settled down with our drinks our Kelly excused herself and went to the bar talking to one of the girls behind it.
I went back to the conversation at the table and forgot about Kell until a tap on my shoulder.
There was Kelly and a guy about mid 30’s; Kelly said, “I don’t know if you guys are interested but we can have a job if we want it!”
“Eh” I gasped - Kelly gave me that long suffering look she does so well and repeated herself indicating to a notice at the back of the bar advertising for bar staff over the festive period.

The guy with her was the owner and he was looking for extra nighttime staff over Christmas and New Year.
As Kelly and I had done bar work before we could work behind the bar while Shonali and Charley could be waitresses a uniform was provided so everyone presented the same front.
The pay was NZ$14 an hour for the bar-staff and NZ$12.50 for the waitress, hours were 6pm until closing with Sunday off and we would be needed until the 2nd January – Starting tomorrow night the 20th December – Oh and Christmas day was off as the place was closed.
This must be some sort of record for getting work less than an hour in a foreign country as well!

I was all for it so this is how we became barmaids in Auckland. Andy and Kelly were really amused saying, “You girls certainly don’t hang about.”
Tony (the name of the manager) said that once we were ready to go to ask for him at the bar and he would introduce us and give us our uniforms.
I was looking at the girls working and the uniform was a bit revealing to say the least.
We had a couple more drinks then Andy and Kelly left saying that we’d catch up later. Then we went to the bar we met some of the girls and guys working there. Until we got confidence they would be keeping an eye on us I was paired with Clive a really nice quiet guy while Kelly was with Sara a blond haired buxom girl who really knew her job.
Tony took our visa details and that was it we were on the books next came the uniform – I suddenly realised what I was going to wear apart from a bikini I have never shown so much flesh!

The top was a tight spandex in neon pink - well the only way to describe is that it was very short very tight vest finishing just under my boobs!
The skirt was a micro mini barely covering my bum but when I looked they were what is called a ‘skort’ that is a union of a skirt and a pair of Lycra shorts again skin tight!
Sara advised us to wear a sports bra under the top and get some really comfortable shoes she recommended ‘Jelly bean’ sandals.
There was a place we could change before and after shift so we left starting work at five tomorrow with Clive and Sara to show us the ropes.

As we walked to the supermarket I squeaked, “Did you see the uniform?”
Charley answered, “Sure it’s cute.” “Cute” I squeaked, “I’ll be naked!”
The lovely Kelly was cackling away at this and told Charley, “Our Susanna has a thing about flashing the flesh – don’t you dear.”
Charley just looked at me and commented, “Why, she’s got a stunning figure!”
I spluttered, “WHY! WHY! But; I a G..........” I never got any further as the three of them said in unison “GIRL”.
Shonali finished the conversation by saying, “And don’t you ever forget that Susanna Emma Johnson!”
And that started a conversation about my middle name that continued while we shopped and walked back to the Lodge.
We put our groceries away then went to the Lounge meeting up with Andy and Kelly - the first thing Andy said was, “Boy are you four going to look hot in that outfit!”
And immediately he got a thump from his Kelly, “Andy” she admonished him.
Some of the others had heard his remark and soon they found out where we were working and we had the feeling that we would be seeing some of them over the next few nights.

Now we were talking to just about everyone staying at the lodge about 30 of us clustered around chatting away.
We were asked what we were doing on Christmas Day we had to admit we hadn’t really gave it a thought so it transpires that between the lot of them and the hostel they were organising a Bar-B Q on the beach and we were invited.

So over the next couple of days we would be a shopping all of us getting different things.
We could prepare a lot of the food in the kitchen where there were containers we could use to transport stuff (it is the middle of summer) also we had two guys who were travelling in a camper with a barbeque and a couple in a SUV so we could all get lifts to the beach on Christmas Day.

The lodge were great and we borrowed some more cool boxes and a bigger Barbie!
Once all that was organised everyone split up and the four of us went to bed.
As we lay in bed we discussed the day this was our first day in New Zealand and we had met a great bunch of fellow travellers got invited to a Bar-b-q on Christmas Day were staying at a great place and of course got a job which involved me dispensing drinks half naked!

Next day we got up and did some of the shopping we were allocated to get for the Barbie our room fridge was full now!
We did some sight seeing and Kelly appeared with a huge gift-wrapped box with all our names on it.
Then promptly at five we showed up for our shift complete with sports bra and new ‘Jelly Bean’ sandals, which incidentally were comfortable and stylish and to match our ‘uniforms’ were neon pink and sparkly!

Sara showed us to the girls changing room and we each had a locker she asked our dress size and gave us 2 pairs of skorts then our bra size and we got 2 tops.
She explained that the two were in case of accidents (spills) and that we looked after our own uniforms but they washed and dried very easily.

We got changed and put on some makeup and lipstick our hair was tied in a bouncy ponytail.
THEN when I saw myself in the mirror I nearly bottled out! It was only the fact I was frogmarched out between Kelly and Charley with Shonali behind us to prevent my escape did I go through with it!

When I went behind the bar our ‘mentors’ started showing us what to do. Clive was a great guy wonderful to be around patient and really good at his job – oh and gay he lived with his partner not far from the bar.
He told me this up front in case (as he put it) I felt that I couldn’t work with him also to put me at ease in case I was afraid he’d hit on me!

I kissed his cheek and told him he was sweet to tell me but there was no need. So now that this was out in the open he showed me the ropes I picked the job up quick enough - except the cocktails but I’d soon get used to them as underneath the bar there were crib sheets with the ingredients for each cocktail – easy? Well no because there was at least two-dozen alcoholic ones and about ten none alcoholic ones!

I was practicing shaking a cocktail (non-alcoholic) Clive commented, “You’ll find that you girls get asked for a lot of cocktails the guy’s love to see your boobies bounce.”
“Oh” was all I could say – so that is why Sara recommended a sports bra!

A word on the guy’s ‘uniform’ this was as revealing as us girls a pair of tight leather shorts with a very short waist coat this showed the guy’s bodies and their err package!
So both the Girls and Guys who were customers had some eye candy!

How did I feel about being eye candy?
This was the first time I had ever wore anything as blatantly sexy as this. But it could have been worse I could be wearing tight skimpy shorts which would emphasise what is crudely called the ‘camels toe’.
Al least the skorts even though they were short and tight retained some modesty – just a bit!
At first it felt uncomfortable to be ogled at, to be looked on as a sex object by men - to feel their eyes on me; and watching my boobs bounce as I shook a cocktail.

I was well out of my comfort zone in fact after a few hours I had decided to quit.
Clive bless him must have realised this because on one of our breaks 10 minutes every 3 hours he quietly said to me, “Susanna you’re not happy are you?” I was miserable and nodded not trusting myself to speak.

He put his arm around me saying, “You don’t like being looked at do you?” I mumbled, “No not really.”

He gave my shoulders a squeeze and continued in a reflective voice, “I didn’t when I first started then Sara took me aside and said to me ‘Clive sweetie, look on the punters as a means to an end - they can’t touch you the girls see you as a sex god the more they like you in all probability the more tips you’ll get! Be mercenary Clive – it helps.”

As I listened a bit of realisation crept in then Clive continued, “Look Susanna all the girls that work here are stunning - you included as they say if you’ve got it flaunt it – and girl you’ve got it honestly.
You’ll get over your hang ups so don’t quit give it a chance!”
“H, h, h, how did you know I was thinking about quitting?” I stammered.
He smiled gently and said, “Because you had the same look on your face that I did when I started here.”

He smiled at me and asked, “Ok now?” I smiled back, stood up straight back boobs thrust out and said, “Let’s get back to it boy friend.” “Atta girl” he grinned back standing up.
As we reached the bar he said, “One more piece of advice if a guy heads towards your boobs it’s to put tips there! They don’t touch or grope the floor guy’s watch for that, normally it’s a $20 - but beauties like you and your mates could get $50’s!”
Did it become any easier? Well yes and no but the way Clive explained it put it into perspective and knowing that there was a no touching rule that was rigidly enforced helped so I got slightly less self conscious with being looked at and my body checked from top to bottom also with a steady stream of $20’s and a few $50’s our wages easily quadrupled. (How mercenary is that!)

We went back to the lodge about two in the morning Shoni and Charley who had been waitressing made a lot more in tips than Kelly and I.
One thing I never noticed was that their skorts were slightly different to ours they had padded bums as they were open to getting their bums pinched even though the door men kept an eye out for this.
It had been hard work, non-stop, so we slept really well and the next day we did some more shopping for our Christmas bar-b-q.

We saw a sign about cycle New Zealand which seemed like a good idea we made more enquiries and discovered that there was a good network of cycle trails and we could hire a cycle for a couple of months for the same cost as we would spend on other means of transport. Talking to the guy in the shop he told us that to really see the country would need at least 6 months if we did it all by bike.
Bummer as the most we could spare was until March about 3 months.
He was great and showed us that with a bit of picking and choosing we could still see a lot of the country in that time – he even marked a route out on one of their map for us to follow which would take about 3 months – he gave us this map so we could make our minds up.
However he did warn us that with the unpredictable weather we should be prepared to loose days to rain and strong winds – but also we could easily change our route should we need to.

We carried on sight seeing preparing food and of course working. The run up to Christmas was hectic and we all were worked off our feet.
BUT Christmas Eve at work NOW that was manic! We never stopped it was so busy we didn’t even get our breaks the bar was six deep and the poor waitresses were worked into the ground. But on the upside the night flew by everyone must have been in the Christmas spirit as we got loads more tips. (I made $450 that night)
The place closed about one in the morning, as Christmas day is a holiday we had a few drinks on the house then headed back to the lodge. Again we died when our heads hit the pillow!

Christmas day we woke up about nine in the morning, all sat on two beds and opened our presents wishing each other a happy Christmas my present to the girls were the birthstone drop earrings.
Charley must have been on the same wavelength as me as we each got a really pretty delicate bracelet.
Shonali got us really practical presents, each of us got a bra - but these were really cunning as in each cup there was a secret money pocket! Also she got each of us a set of 6 cotton panties some socks and a bangle each.
And finally Kelly her present was a classic baseball caps each with our names on the front. AND the big box she got when she arrived in Auckland contained 1kg of handmade gourmet chocolates from a local shop called the ‘House of Chocolate’.

Here is another new word to tell you how good these chocolates were; they were scrummy, absolutely scrummy!
Finally Charley opened her present from Max, when she saw the box she breathed, “Oh no, please no” this alarmed us what was in that box?

She opened the box and tears started to flow we looked and in the box; nestled in the velvet was a medal it was a bronze cross about 2” across with an eagle in the centre and a scroll below when I looked closely the scroll had ‘For Valour’ on it.
On the floor there was a piece of paper that had slipped out when Charley opened the wrapping Kelly picked it up and passed it to Charley who was in a hell of a state.
Charley sobbed, “Please, you read it” Kell looked uncomfortable but the pleading look on Charley’s face made her read the short note.

Little Lady,

p.s. the reason I knew you straight away is you got
his eyes.

We were all silent after this tears rolled down Charley’s face. In all truth tears were rolling down all our faces Kelly and Shoni sat each side of Charley while I knelt at her feet stroking her hands we simply let her cry - this was how I started my healing process at Kelly’s house those months ago!

There was a knock at the door it was the guys making sure we were ready for the Bar-b q.
I went to the door and explained that this was Charley’s first Christmas since her folks died and we wouldn’t be going with them just yet.
I got the stuff we had prepared plus a box of wine out of the fridge and gave it to the rest to take telling them we’d be along later.
I don’t think it registered with Charley that anyone had been at the door I don’t think anything registered apart from her hurt.

We put her back into bed and Shonali lay next to her for comfort and support. Kelly looked at me and sternly told me, “Now lady, it’s your turn to talk to your aunty!”
“But...” I started Kelly stopped me touched my arm and softly said, “Susanna, you have to face this sooner or later – you do realise this don’t you.”
I knew deep in my heart that Kelly spoke the truth. I picked up my iphone and told her, “I’ll go up onto the roof terrace.” Kell looked at me and asked, “Do you want company?” I simply nodded and we left quietly.

It was lovely up on the roof terrace in the warm sunlight Auckland was spread before us the sea glittering in the distance.
I looked at my phone and taking a deep breath I pressed the speed dial for my aunty Val I had not used it since my family were killed – part of me wished she had changed her phone number and part didn’t

I listened to the ringing and secretly hoped that they were out but no a voice that I knew a voice that brought so many memories back answered.

“Hello, hello, Val Brown here” (I was silent, I couldn’t speak)
“Hello, is there anyone there?”

“Hello Aunty Val, it’s me” (a stupid thing to say but my mind was frozen)

“Theresa? Theresa it can’t be you’re.......”
“No, No Aunty Val it’s me err Stephen. I’ve called to wish you a Happy Christmas.”
(Theresa was my sister and I had nearly forgotten my given name)

“Oh darling it’s so good to hear you; it’s been so long, how are you? Where are you? Why haven’t you phoned? What is the matter with your voice? You shocked me you sound so much like Theresa.”

So many questions; typical of Aunty Val; so I started answering them.

“Aunty Val I’m in Auckland, New Zealand three friends and I are travelling the world.
I haven’t phoned because I’ve been afraid to. Sorry for startling you, I never realised my voice sounded like Terries.
And finally I’m fine, it’s just, it’s just that I’ve got something to tell you”

We talked about travelling and the weather in the UK and where we were.
I was putting off telling her and I knew it.
But Aunty Val thought different and so did Kelly as she was gesticulating at me.

“Stephen, you said you were afraid why?”

“Well Aunty Val I’m afraid you will hate me when I tell you”
(The emotion was choking me)

“Sweetheart nothing can be that bad you know I’m here for you?”

“B, b, b, but when I tell you I know you’ll hate me”
(Tears were flowing now)

“Stephen, for gods sake tell me; you’ve got me worried now”

There was no easy way to do this I was standing at the edge of a precipice. So I took a deep breath and metaphorically jumped over the edge.

“Aunty Val first I’ve changed my name I’m now called Susanna Emma Johnson. (Silence, so I ploughed on) and I’m living as a girl now!”

There it was out! And there was a silence.

“Aunty Val; are you there please don’t hate me that much” (I was crying now)

“I’m still here Stephen this has come as a bit of a shock I need to think about it – though I suppose I better call you Susanna”

“Please Aunty Val don’t hate me, this was something I had to do I’m so, so, sorry if I’ve hurt you, please forgive me” (A pregnant pause at the other end)

“Ste.... sorry Susanna, I really must think this through I don’t hate you but you must realise this is one heck of a shock to me. Does anyone else know?”

Miserably I answered, “No, I was too afraid”

“You went through all this on your own? Oh dear, Oh dear you poor thing. Look Ste....... damn I will get used to calling you Susanna! Will you do something for me?”

“Anything, anything I can; what do you want me to do?”

“I need some time to digest this but would you please send me a recent photograph of you and your friends – you have my e-mail address; I want to see the new you it may help me”

“Of course I’ll send you one when I get back to our room and Aunty Val; thanks for not hating me”

“I’ll hang up now dear and when I’ve thought on this I’ll call you back ok?”

“Ok Aunty Val, have a good Christmas this is my mobile number, and so you should be able to get me – unless there’s no signal. Bye Aunty Val and thanks”

“Bye-Bye sweetheart I’ll call you soon and you have a good Christmas. Bye-Bye my love.”

And with that the phone went dead! I was trembling Kelly was looking at me full of compassion. “Well” she said, “How did it go?”
I gave her a weak smile, “As well as can be expected she wants a photo of us and she’ll call me back when she’s digested the fact that her nephew is now her niece! At least she still spoke to me – and said she’d have to get used to calling me Susanna.”

Kelly smiled saying, “Well that’s a plus shall we go and see the other two then find something for our Christmas dinner?”
I grinned telling her, “What a squad we are! I hope Charley’s ok.” We went back down to our room where Shoni and Charley were sipping coffee.
Shonali asked about the phone call so I told her what was said.
Charley who looked a lot better commented, “ Well at least she’s still talking to you.” I asked Charley how she was holding up she smiled weakly saying I’m fine now sorry we missed the Barbie though.

I found a nice picture of the four of us put our names under each of us to show Aunty Val, who was who and I sent it to her.
Then we rifled the fridge and found some stuff, which we could make a meal out of and went down stairs.
The girl behind the reception looked surprised to see us and asked, “I thought you guy’s were going to the beach?” We smiled and told her the story saying we were going to make some rice-n-things.

“Like hell you are,” she stated, “Give me a minute” with that, she was on the phone we were standing there wondering what she was doing.
“Right” you guys go and get changed my brother will be here in ten he’ll take you. And before you say anything no arguments just give him a kiss as thanks that’ll make his Christmas!”
We shot upstairs put our rice-n-things away bikinis on and a sundress towel and our big slouch handbags we were downstairs in nine minutes.
Gaye (the receptionist) was talking to a really hunky guy who turned out was her brother he drove us to the beach where the rest were having the Barbie.

We found them with a bit of difficulty and there were squeals and shouts of delight as they saw us we asked Jim if he wanted to join us this was to thank him for the favour.
Jim was eyeing Shonali and happily agreed to join the crowd - so after a crap emotional start to Christmas day things were turning out better!
Especially for Shonali, who had an admirer I was really pleased for her, as she was the only one of us that hadn’t been attracted to anyone – so far.
This was strange because Shonali as well as being the best looking of us had a beautiful personality.

We settled down on the sand Charley said, “It looks like Shoni has a friend” nodding towards Jim and Shonali who were talking to each other oblivious to the rest of us.
I nodded and commented, “About time after Manchester!” Kelly nodded in agreement Charley looked confused so we told her about Shoni and Clive.
After we had finished Charley nodded and said, “Men can be such bastards!” Then looking at me she continued, “I bet you’re glad you’re one of us now?” I simply grinned and answered, “You had better believe it.” Then the festivities started.