This is a gentle coming-of-age story about a college-aged boy becoming the girl he knows he truly is.
With the help of his two girl friends he becomes Susanna as they teach him all about life as a girl.
Please note this is a gentle, sentimental tale and although there is some sexual content it is inferred and NOT graphic and tagged where it occurs.

I still feigned sleep but turned over so he couldn’t see the tears leaking from my eyes and running down my cheeks.
He had staged last night so I would feel free to enjoy myself this made me question my feelings and also question myself.

It was true I was only 20 I still had a life to live and as it so happens a new life to live as a girl and eventually a woman a woman comfortable in her own skin - no that wrong – a woman who has to be comfortable in her own skin.
Gill understood this and last night was his way of making me feel comfortable about living my new life he didn’t want to tie me down or put more pressure on me.
As I lay in bed silently weeping I considered my options maybe waiting was the best for us?
After all I didn’t have the biological clock ticking away that natural women have.
Huh! In truth as yet I wasn’t a real woman even though everyone took me as one.
I heard him enter the room again and felt him move my hair kissing me on my temple whether he saw my tears I didn’t know or care.
I heard him say in a quiet voice, “See you tonight beautiful” then the bedroom door closed and I was free to sob my eyes out.

I lay there for a while wallowing in self pity then after pulling myself together I knew that I had to make some big decisions about my life and the way my decisions would affect Gill.
Tea! To make decisions I needed tea! So getting up I slipped on my kimono style satin wrap and made my way to the kitchen I made some tea and toast then sipping my tea I thought about things.

I couldn’t tell him that I had overheard him (rightly or wrongly) if I told him it would seem that I was throwing his selflessness back at him!
So I had to pretend that I was comfortable with a no strings attached relationship - which in a way I was.

In the few days we had left together before I left I would devote them to him loving him as much as I could. Then we would part - no doubt I would cry when I left him but I would deal with that at the time.
I was still wallowing in self-pity about us - even though I knew he had done it for the best reasons when my mobile phone sounded.
From the ring tone I knew it was Shoni (I had a different ring tone for most people I liked and for those I didn’t like they had the default ring tone). Shoni’s ringtone was ‘You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt. Kelly’s on the other hand was ‘Killer Queen’ enough said!
She asked if I felt like going window-shopping – did I ever? Can a fish swim? Is the Pope a Catholic? This was just what I needed we couldn’t buy anything but 75% of the fun of shopping for us three is looking and trying so I promised to meet them in the city centre at ten so I went and got ready.

As we would be wearing trousers for most of the time we were away apart from micro shorts and light wrap around skirts I decided on a black leather mini skirt nude tights, 4”heels and a dressy dark red velour top my jacket was a leather bolero style jacket which was quilted on the shoulders.
I felt feminine and sexy at the same time I met the girls in ‘Starbucks” where we had a skinny latte.

Like me they also were dressed up Kelly in a dark pink mini dress with a black leather jacket. While Shoni had an ethnic print midi skirt coupled with a tunic top and a white woollen jacket.
As was usual for us we discussed out trip I asked Kelly and Shoni if one of their mum’s would look after the keys to the flat until we returned of course there were no problems with this at all.

So we went window-shopping trying but not buying! This was great fun and was great therapy for us girls especially me.
I must have tried at least a dozen outfits and a similar amount of shoes I loved days like this.
We went back to Kell’s house and had our tea then Gill picked me up from there and we headed back to his apartment.
I had definitely made my mind up that I wouldn’t tell him that I had been awake that morning.
So the last few days passed with the people we loved.
I really loved Kelly’s and Shonali’s families as they had adopted me and treat me just like their own daughters even scolding me what I did something wrong - it was a warm family environment we were leaving.

On the day before we left we unpacked our backpacks and made sure that we had everything we needed. We sorted out the ‘heavy’ items and decided who was carrying what (again).
As I was the tallest I got the tent (4lb) Shoni got the stove and cook pots the stove was 2lb and the cook pots 1lb. while Kelly had the mini ipad, hair drier and kettle that went with the stove about 3 lbs.
The stove also had a griddle it was small and fitted inside my back-pack against the framing – we had thought of leaving it but decided not to - this proved to be a good decision when we were rough camping.

I’ll have to digress and tell you about our little stove. This was truly remarkable it was a ‘Biolite’ wood burning camp stove which had a small power unit that we could charge out iPhones and ipad from.
All it used was twigs or wood pellets and would boil water very quickly. It came with a special kettle and a griddle rack it wasn’t cheap but it was perfect for our needs and it was light and I mean really light when compared to similar stoves – in fact there was; at the time not many stoves on the market which would do what this one could.
BUT the clever thing was the way that it turned heat energy into electricity for charging phones and stuff. It was said that 20 minutes charge would give an hour phone use – we would see.

Apart from this we all had our sleeping bag and liner plus pad to sleep also on we had no more than 15lbs of personal gear including toiletries our towels were lightweight pack towels that weighed in under 1lb (2 large and 2 medium each)
So once we were packed we weighed our packs and all up we were about 30lbs (give or take a bit)
We also had tea bags, instant coffee instant chocolate and powdered milk, plus some bags of dehydrated food for emergencies - add water heat and a meal appears (or something similar to a meal anyhow).
We shared these out between us then we tried our packs on and adjusted the straps then we were ready for the off!

We were bubbling with excitement, on the day we were leaving we all met up at Shoni’s house as her mum and dad were taking us to Manchester Airport. Everything was loaded into the car (A People Carrier) and we said our good byes.
The final person I said goodbye to was Gill I kissed him passionately relishing the taste of him rubbing myself against him and feeling his response - nipples are sensitive but a mans widgy is noticeably more sensitive!
When I came up for air I looked into his beautiful eyes and whispered so only he could hear me, “I’ll miss you remember there are no ties enjoy yourself and don’t turn celibate on me” he nodded and smiled. Then whispered back, “The same goes for you Susie have fun and live and don’t you turn celibate either!”
Then I carried on, “If you still want me I’ll see you when I get back and then we can talk.”

We kissed again then I quickly got into the car before he could say or do anything more I shut the car door and we were off!
As we drove I started to panic about my passport and that bloody box which marked me as a male! I had over the next year or so a lot of passport controls to go through and I knew that every time I would panic.
The first hurdle was entry into America and as I had heard all sorts of horror stories about their immigration service I was terrified that they would turn me back!

At the airport I went into the Ladies toilets and removed my prosthetic vagina and replaced it with a cachet sex (easier if I needed to prove anything) we all had our hair tied back and minimal makeup on.
They checked me against my passport photo and agreed that they were similar though now my features were noticeably more feminine.
We were all dressed similar in trekking trouser, comfortable bra, vests, t-shirts, shirts and fleeces, trainers and socks.
As Kelly so succinctly put it, “We looked like a bunch of blokes!” Shoni giggled at that adding “As long as you discount the boobs, bums and other girly bit’s”

We checked our back packs in at the airline desk and were left with our day bags the girls on the check in desk were very interested in where we were going and wished us well,
As I checked my passport again Kelly said’ “Susie your name is right your photo’s right the only thing that’s different is that bloody ‘M’ now stop panicking girl”

Leaving the country - any country is no problem. Sure you go through security but other than that – no problems.
Our flight was Manchester to Newark then onto Chicago O’Hare. I honestly don’t remember much of it one because we slept most of the way and two because I was working myself up into a state about the American Immigration and passport control people!

As we stood in the queue with me in-between Kelly and Shonali the closer I got to the control the more I wanted the toilet.
But I needn’t have worked my myself into a panic as I was stopped my a woman official who asked me my name looked at my passport then me and simply said “transitioning?” I swallowed and nodded expecting the worst she smiled and said, “Thank you miss enjoy America.”
And that was that! I was elated especially with being called ‘miss’ by an official to me those four little letters meant the world.
As we headed into the concourse I was walking on air Kelly had that smug ‘I told you so” expression on her face – but I didn’t care.

We headed to the toilets both to use them and for me to wiggle into my ‘vagina’ I was all girl again.
When we entered the main concourse we saw a sign simply saying ‘SUSANNA, SHONALI AND KELLY’
A silver haired gentleman held it and next to him was a homely middle-aged lady.
This was Keith and June! Gills friends we went over and we introduced ourselves.
I put my foot in my mouth by saying, “Pleased to meet you after all this time but you’re older than I thought!” Then I realised what I had just said and stammered, “Err I mean, it’s just that.” I was so embarrassed.

He simply chuckled saying, “I was one of Gills tutors in Med School I take it he didn’t mention this? He rarely does.”
He looked at me closely and then said, “So you are the girl who’s captured his heart I must admit he always had high standards”
That set me off blushing again and turned me into a total social buffoon!

As we walked to the car park Keith mentioned that he had driven here in the car he bought for us when we saw it we were well impressed it looked really good and big (to our untrained eyes) it easily took all our packs and 5 people with some room to spare – it was very comfortable and I enjoyed the drive to their house and couldn’t wait to drive it.

Keith mentioned that if we wanted he could arrange for the mechanic who serviced it to show us around the car and also give us a crash course in the road rules.
We thought this was a great idea so he said he would phone him when we reached home – apparently the guy is a retired army mechanic and driving instructor so we would be in good hands. This turned out to be one of the best decisions we had ever made.

June was a wonderful woman very talkative and very friendly. She asked us how long we would like to stay - as we didn’t want to intrude on them for too long. Kelly said a couple of days if that was possible.
“Rubbish” June retorted, “It’ll take longer than that for Al to teach you to drive over here - honest girls you are welcome to stay with us as long as you want to - mind you’ll all be sleeping together.” This cheered me up as I loved sleeping with my best friends.

Tentatively Kelly asked, “Would a week be ok June?” “Dear a week would be fine two if you want to.” She answered with a smile.
“No, I think a week would be fine if it’s no trouble for you” Kelly conceded June turned to Shoni and myself asking, “Is Kelly your spokes person?” All we could do was grin and nod then Shoni said, “We find it easier to let her” and I added, “And we haven’t found her mute switch yet!” Kelly stuck her tongue out at us two.

We arrived at June and Keith’s house. It was in a pleasant part of the suburbs a three-bed two-bathroom single story house.
Made of I think wood and bricks it was lovely then when we went in a wonderful smell of food greeted us which made Kelly’s tummy rumble loudly Shoni quipped to June “Kelly is our spokeswoman in everything!” and got a punch on the arm for her troubles.

June laughed and commented that her best girlfriends like us had been friends from school and were still very close.
I quietly said, “These two have saved my life - they looked after me when I was in a very bad place. Without these two I wouldn’t be the girl I am now!”
Shoni piped up, “That’s absolute rubbish June we only did what any friend would do - help each other.”

June sensed that we were getting serious so she showed us to our rooms and the bathroom told us that supper would be in about an hour and to meet Keith and her on the porch for a glass of wine – this sounded great to us as we were a bit travel worn and a shower was just what we needed.
As we stripped off I commented, “I hate not having my......... well you know not looking like a girl I’m so happy to look right - as I should”
Kelly snorted, “Well Susie when you become a girl you won’t have that problem.”
I made a grimace at her and ruefully said, “Yeh, when I finally get my head around it – you know guys it’s weird I know exactly who I should be but for some reason ........” I trailed off not knowing what or how to finish.

Kelly then grinned and told me, “While you’re feeling sorry for yourself I have some very good news that really will cheer you up!”
This brightened me up and excitedly I asked, “What, what news?” With a broad grin she said, “D’you know what day it is on Friday?”
Both Shoni and I studied finally shaking our heads. Triumphantly she announced, “It’s Moon-cup day for us two!” I groaned that meant we would be having our periods. Well Kelly would and as usual I would be joining her as I made the pledge to undergo everything my girlfriends had to undergo!
Shoni chortled saying, “I’m glad its you two using the Moon-cups first you’ll be able to give me some tips” In a bit of a huff I muttered, “Well Kell can, I’m just along for the ride!” Enough of that subject - suffice to say it was waaaaay different to wearing a pad!

We went onto the porch where we had a glass of chilled wine while Keith filled us in on some things he thought we should know. For us Brits the first thing was that the drinking age in America is 21 this is for all states (he thought) but in Illinois under 21’s could drink at home with parental consent.
But he warned us it changes with different states this didn’t really bother us as we were here to see the country we all could exist on soft drinks.

Then he warned us about speed limits these are strictly enforced and you could get caught speeding anywhere but Al will fill you in on the road rules.
He went onto tell us about Al. He was a Vietnam Veteran who was in the Marines he was wounded and lost a thumb and had other injuries which stopped him working on aircraft so he was trained as a instructor (apparently the thumb is not so crucial).
When he was discharged from the forces he took up being a mechanic again teaching himself how to work without his thumb. Keith also informed us that his grandson works with him at the garage.
We were to meet Al tomorrow here at home and then he would take us driving and get his grandson to give us a crash course in emergency car maintenance.

We had a wonderful meal then spent the evening talking really telling out life stories. Keith and June were very sympathetic about me loosing my family and congratulated Kelly and Shoni for helping me through the ordeal.
They asked a lot about Gill apparently Gill was a star pupil of Keith’s and as Keith put it, “I expect great things from that boy.”
Shoni was as usual dismissive about her brother but we all knew she was very proud of him and loved him deeply it was simply a case of sibling rivalry.

We went to bed about eleven and as we all snuggled together we discussed the day and especially Keith and June what a great start to our adventure they were so kind and so welcoming.
The next morning we heard movement about the house so we got up took a shower and dressed in jeans and tops which was really all we had. Trousers of some type, T-shirts, shirts and vests, we did have a couple of lightweight skirts and a couple of nice tops but these were for special occasions when we wanted to remember we were girls.

We got to the kitchen as Keith was leaving, June asked us what we wanted for breakfast when we said toast and tea she grinned telling us, “Girls, over here breakfast is an all day meal when you’re on the road keep an eye out for as much as you can eat places - three for two and stuff like this. That way you get a good hearty meal that’ll keep you going all day – and save you a heap of money!”

June was an American and also a doctor but she was in private practice hence she didn’t leave as early as Keith.
She gave us a key and told us to treat the place like it was our own.
I grinned at that saying, “With Shoni and I you’re ok but Kell is a bit of a walking disaster area! But we’ll make sure she doesn’t wreck your home.”
I got a glower from Kelly and a smile from June, she told us, “Girls I’ve had two daughters and a son so nothing can amaze me our home is your home so please treat it as such”.

The doorbell sounded and June introduce us to Al our saviour. He was a lean tall man of about 65 years old whipcord thin but with defined muscles his silver hair was long in a ponytail and he was dressed in jeans, t-shirt and a leather jacket. I’m tall but he towered above me I’d put him at 6’ 3 or 4”.
He had a friendly laconic way about him that immediately put us at ease, we were a bit in awe of him at first but his initial greeting of “Hi girls I’m Al” sounded so friendly.
At first we called him ‘sir’ as a mark of respect but soon after meeting us he said, “Gal’s for us to get on call me Al, that’s the name my mom gave me. You do that and we’ll get on fine!”

After coffee we said our goodbyes to June and set off with Al driving our Jeep. He was great company telling us stories and anecdotes making us giggle constantly but I had a feeling that he was sizing us up making sure that we were up to his standards.
He drove us to a quiet place on an abandoned industrial estate to see how we drove without the distractions of traffic.
Now I know it will sound strange - but none of us had ever driven an automatic car they are a lot of them in the UK but we had all been taught on a manual gearbox (what I believe is called a stick shift – If I’m wrong I know you’ll tell me).

This didn’t phase Al in the slightest and now he was teaching us to drive he was decisive gave his instruction in a quiet confident manner and was very professional.
After each of us had half an hour and we had satisfied him we were something like safe he let us loose in traffic.
Each of us got another half hour in traffic then he said, “Right girls, enough of that for today let’s head back to the garage and meet Al junior”
Shoni drove back to Al’s garage where we met Al junior! What a hunk!!!!!!
He was tall with light brown hair quite broad and well very muscled gorgeous brown eyes he was well -------- gorgeous!
Shoni clearly fancied him (so did I) and turned on those smouldering eyes Kelly went into her little miss helpless and I have to admit so did I.

Al senior grumbled, “That boy has a strange effect on girls!” But the only person Al junior was interested in was Kelly – and boy was that noticeable! Shoni and myself my as well have not been there.
Luckily Al senior sorted things out for us telling Al junior, “Boy you’re supposed to be teaching these girls about their motor - now get to it!”
Clearly Al senior’s word was law he stopped giving Kelly all the attention and included us in the conversation.

Even though Kelly was his centre of attraction we all got a basic grounding in what could go wrong and what we could do there was a basic tool kit (I found out what a wrench was) and he even said he would get us a pair of gloves each - but only after Kell broke a fingernail!
He glanced at Shoni and my hands but took far more time on Kelly’s hand to get the right size glove. (Jealousy is a terrible thing – but good luck to Kelly she deserves a decent bloke)

I drove the three of us plus old Al back to Keith and June’s so Al could pick up err well his pick up if you see what I mean.
As Al left he said, “See ya tomorrow gals - more of the same,” giving Kelly a stare
He finished off, “And don’t distract the hired help.” But he had a twinkle in his eyes as he said this.
We were first in so we were at a bit of a loose end and decided to have a look to see what sights Chicago had to offer. Onto the Internet and soon we were deciding what and where we wanted to see – and there was a lot to decide on.

Kelly kept talking about Al (junior) she was truly hopelessly and utterly smitten with him. Mind you I didn’t blame her with a dreamy look in her eye’s she wondered if he would ask her out. So of course we gave her no end of heartache but it was all in good fun.
Keith came home and told us that June was running late and would it be ok if we went out to eat it was fine by us so we went and got showered and changed into one of our decent dressy skirts and tops slipped on our only pair of heeled shoes we each possessed (I know - but sometimes you have to feel like a girl especially me)
We met June at the restaurant and had a lovely meal. When it came to paying we insisted on paying our way after a long discussion about it - not an argument as it was impossible to argue with these two we came to some sort of a compromise that as we would usually be home first the three of us would prepare the supper after June tells us what she wanted doing. And we would do any jobs that needed doing to help them.

June said that one thing she would love to be able to cook properly for Keith was Yorkshire pudding’s (there was a similar pudding in America called ‘Popovers’ but Keith insisted that it wasn’t the same) and did any of us know the secret?
The two of them pointed to me saying, “Susanna is our cook she’s brilliant” so it was agreed that I would show June how to do these they are so simple but so many people make mistakes with them.
Since then we have tasted ‘popovers’ both as a sweet and savoury dish and while there is a slight difference it wasn’t noticeable to us. (I love them with fresh fruit and cream but also savoury with meat and gravy)

So the days fell into a pattern where we went with Al driving then young Al showed us more simple maintenance.
He finally asked Kelly out on a date and asked if the two of us would consider a blind date with two of his friends as Rule 1 applied Shoni and I agreed we would keep Kell company so it was arranged for Friday night we would go to a movie and have a meal.

We warned him that our selection of clothes were limited then Kelly out of the blue said, “Girls we are sending stuff home from Los Angeles why don’t we each get a couple of cheap dressy outfits?”
So we arranged to go shopping on Friday, June told us where there were some good stylish and more important cheap clothes shops.
The third afternoon we were there Al (senior) took us to meet some of his old buddies (as he put it). This time we followed him he was on this enormous motorbike so we followed in the Jeep. He took us to a diner that had about 10 very large motorcycles outside.

Shoni managed to park the jeep without destroying any of the very expensive looking motorcycles and we followed Al inside - somewhat apprehensively it must be said as we had all heard about the motorcycle gangs but we trusted Al implicitly by now.
This was our introduction to ‘Warrior Brotherhood Motorcycle Club’ on first impressions they were a fearsome lot and three young girls like us caused quite a stir there were other women there but we were the youngest by far!
Once they got to know us it was fine we were classed as guests. They were interested about out trip and impressed that we wanted to travel using as near to the original route as we could time just flew by we were taken on the back of some of the motor cycles I mentioned that they were all so large and found out that there was a minimum size of bike needed to join the club – apart from being ex or serving in the armed forces.

Kelly noticed that it was past six, and there was no sign of us leaving so she phoned Keith to let him know where we were he chuckled when we told him saying, “I wondered how long it would be before you met that lot - but Kelly they could be useful when you’re on the road as there are members all over the states.”
We finally left about 10 in the evening having had our vocabulary widened somewhat though what they all meant we were somewhat vague (Heuy’s, slicks, grunts, gun ships and other army terms. Oh and ‘Hogs’) the age range of the guys were from their 40’s to 70’s and possibly some older.
Al spent Monday to Friday teaching us to drive then pronounced us fit to be let loose we continued to meet with his buddies every couple of days we were so comfortable around these guys they were great!

We had asked if it was ok to stay with June and Keith for two weeks and there were no problems we had decided that the second week we would explore the tourist places of Chicago.
Friday came around and it was the blind date time AND Kelly and I were having our periods! I love the training these girlfriends of mine are giving me (though not at this time – but it was self inflicted in my case)
The moon cup was a clever piece of invention a bit strange to wear but once you got used to it it was fine. (Again if you want any more information than that go to their website)

We had gone shopping and picked up a couple of outfits each and a second pair of heels, for our date I work a tartan mini skirt teamed with a tunic top in a synthetic satin my shoes were 3” heeled strappy sandals and I had a cardigan style jacket.
Kelly decided on a black elasticated pencil skirt with a tube top in vivid pink black 4” court shoes.
Shoni had a mini dress in brown ethnic prints, brown gladiator sandals with a 4” wedge.

We were picked up at seven by young Al and two of his friends. My knees went weak when I saw them they were really hunks I could see Shoni was similarly smitten as those smouldering brown eye’s really got to work.
The guy I paired off with was called Mac and Shoni’s was called Dave they were all tall, well muscled, clean cut lads, about 21 years old and all played football for the same team. (American football this time)
We all were in the one car as they were taking us to the Imax cinema at the Navy Pier we would see what the night would bring I hissed to Kelly, “These are hunks - I’m not on my periods,” she hissed back “Oh yes you are girl” – Friends Huh!

I thought of Gill and considered what I was going to do. Remembering our final night and the conversation we had I decided that for this trip I would do as we both discussed and not be celibate but I also decided that I would respect myself and only commit when I was certain of the boy – was I right or was I totally wrong well only time would tell.