Previously…

I stood in the middle of the room, my hands clasped before me. My knees were trembling slightly and I could feel a rivulet of sweat running down my back. I felt very exposed and vulnerable in my thin summer dress and I wondered if I should be doing this. After all, as far as my father was concerned, a few short minutes ago I was George, a boy and not Sophie, obviously a girl. I know that he said that he had accepted me as a girl, but he hadn’t seen what I was like now.

He walked in and stopped in the doorway. He went pale and I thought that he might faint. He staggered and clutched at a chair to avoid keeling over.

‘You like?’ I said rather ineffectually.

Hannah broke her self-imposed silence.

‘Oh Lord Sophie, I think that he sees me!’

And now the story continues…

‘Daddy, are you alright?’

‘Y…yes, sorry Sophie its just…’

‘I look like Hannah?’

‘Yes, its uncanny. Sorry sweetheart, I know that you aren’t her, but it was just the shock.’

‘That’s OK; I always looked like her. We were twins after all.’

‘Are twins!’

‘Be quiet Hannah, you are not helping.’

He sat down, still looking at me with a sort of stunned expression.

‘You are very pretty and remind me a bit of your mum.’

I went over and sat beside him, my head on his shoulder.

‘I miss Mummy.’

He hesitated for a moment.

‘I know honey, and I miss her and Hannah too. Anyway, enough of this maudlin talk, I think we need to discuss what happens now.’

‘What can we do? I don’t want to be seen as a freak.’

‘You are not a freak. You are a very pretty girl going through some rather strange changes. I must admit that when Marie and I looked into what was happening with you, there was no mention of possibility of spontaneous changes happening like this.’

‘Its puzzling and rather scary Daddy. I want this to happen, but it seems all so unreal and I don’t know where this is all going to end.’

‘Well first things first; I take it that George is gone now and Sophie is here to stay?’

I nodded, not daring to say anything.

‘Are you sure; you are still very young, no matter how grown up you feel?

‘Oh Daddy, I have always been a girl. Having to pretend to be a boy has been awful.’

‘Okay then. I want to go at your pace and not bully you into something that you aren’t comfortable with, okay?’

‘What will everyone say when they see me?’

‘You mean the staff?’

‘Mmm.’

‘Well, they either accept you or they are gone; but I have a feeling that they will be supportive.’

‘They have always been nice to me.’

‘You are a nice person.’

‘Ooh Daddy!’

‘Never mind the ooh Daddy bit. You are nice and always have been. You were always gentle and sensitive, something that a large proportion of boys aren’t, including me, if my memory recalls.’

Embarrassed by all that praise being heaped on me, I got up and went over to the cooler.

‘Do you want a drink?’ I asked.

‘A coke would be nice.’

I opened the mini-fridge door and took out two cans, handing one to my father.

‘Thanks Sophie, now, where were we?’

‘Deciding what to do,’ I replied as I smoothed down my skirt at the back and sat down beside him.

‘Okay, if you agree, I’ll call a meeting of the staff and tell them everything they need to know, including the fact that you will now be presenting as a girl; agreed?’

I nodded as I sipped my drink.

‘We need to get you medically sorted out as soon as possible. With the changes to your body going on at such a rapid rate, we have to make sure that you are monitored and looked after. I will make a few calls in a minute. As I say, I have had contact with several experts and we need to get them on board now.’

‘Will I have to go to hospital?’

‘Yes and I think today if possible; we’ll see what the doctor has to say and be guided by her, if that’s okay. The one thing about being as well off as we are, is that we can go private and have the best of treatment. Unfair, I know to those who can’t afford it, but I didn’t make the system and you are my number one priority. Look, you stay here for a bit while I do some things. Will you be okay for a while?’

I nodded.

He came over and kissed me on the forehead.

‘Daddy, what about school?’

‘We’ll sort that side of things out when we know what is going to happen to you medically, but for now, we’ll play it by ear. You don’t have to go back if you don’t want to and anyway, you would look a bit silly as the only girl there.’

I giggled; I was getting good at that.

‘Don’t worry, we’ll fix this,’ he said with a warm smile.

I just smiled, choking back the tears. My emotions were all up and down at that moment.

With a final hug and a ‘wait here for a while,’ he was gone.

‘Hannah, are you there?’

‘Yea, that was heavy, wasn’t it?’

‘Just a bit.’

‘Don’t worry Sis, Daddy will sort things out; he’s a fixer.’

‘I hope so. I’m scared Hannah.’

‘Me too, but there’s no point in worrying about it. Lets wait and see if he can weave his magic. Look, I’m feeling a bit tired after the exercise you’ve made us do. I’m going to sleep or zone out or whatever I do. Prod me awake by shouting out my name or something. I’m sure I’ll hear you.’

‘All right.’ I replied and then I could feel her sort of drift off and I felt as if I was by myself again; a weird feeling after being sort of connected to her for a while and one that I didn’t particularly like. I had gotten used to Hannah being with me and I missed her now she had done the zone out or whatever…

I went over to the window and looked out; it was still warm and sunny. This summer had been a hot one and I was glad that we had aircon in every room; especially at night when otherwise it would have been too hot to sleep.

Opening the sliding doors, I went out onto the balcony and sat down on a lounger. My thoughts turned to what my father was doing right then. Knowing him, it would be all action and decision-making. He would make the necessary phone calls to the medical people and then call the staff together for a chat about what was happening to me. I wondered what they would all think about my being a girl not a boy and whether there would be surprise or revulsion.

I couldn’t stand the idea of being rejected but I knew that some people might regard me as a freak. I should develop a hard shell of indifference about what people thought about me, but I knew, in my heart, that I wouldn’t take rejection very well.

The intercom rang.

‘Hello?’

‘Hi Sophie, how did it go?’

‘Oh hi Julia, Daddy was brill.’

‘So its Daddy now?’

I laughed.

‘It always was in my head, just like I always thought of my mother as Mummy, not Mum.’

I felt a pang thinking about my mother just then and I realized even more, how much I missed her

‘Well your father has just called a meeting, so I had better go. I just wanted to touch base to see if you are all right.’

‘I’m fine, although a bit nervous as to what people will think about me.’

‘They’ll think that you are a sweet girl who can’t ride a bike.’

‘Flaming cheek,’ I said laughing, ‘just you wait!’

Waiting was what I had to do. Hannah, when she drifted back, tried to help but realized, I think, that this was something that I had to deal with.

‘Dad will sort it out, he’s good at that sort of thing.’

‘How can you say that? He’s never had to sort out the fact that I’m fast becoming a girl rather than a boy.’

‘You sound almost like you don’t want to be a girl now.’

‘I do; you know that, but I wanted to do this on my terms and at my pace, not wake up one morning sprouting breasts and have a fast shrinking willie.’

‘Yea, but think of it this way, you would have had to wait until you were eighteen before you could have any official hormones and the only thing you could have legally had were blockers. Also, what’s the betting that you are changing more inside than you know about.’

‘What womb and all that?’

‘Yes; don’t tell me you haven’t thought that it might happen.’

‘Okay, so I have. Look, what freaks me out is that people might think that I’m a erm, freak.’

‘That’s why Daddy will have to make sure that we aren’t treated like that. I’m willing to trust him, are you?’

‘Yea, I suppose.’

For an hour or so, I just sat on my bed and read a teen mag and listened to music on my mp3 player. Hannah was sort of not around, or I wasn’t aware of her. As I mentioned before, sometimes she did this weird disappearing act, where I don’t think that she’s in my head and then, I become conscious of her being with me again.

I felt a bit off and my tummy ached a bit. Mind you, I ached all over and it felt a bit like the flu. I was lethargic with it and then without realizing I went to sleep.

I woke up to some gentle shaking. I was clutching a pillow to my stomach and wasn’t quite with it for a second. I had been dreaming about my mother for some reason but whatever else the dream was about, faded from my memory almost immediately.

‘Sophie, are you all right?’

Reluctantly opening my eyes, I realized who it was.

‘Daddy?’

‘You look a bit peaky.’

‘Mmm, not feeling very well?’

He felt my forehead and I told him where I ached; like all over, but especially around my tummy.

‘Okay honey, a doctor is coming over and should be here in an hour. She’s good, very good and she can advise us as to what we should do next and help you with your aches and pains. If she thinks you need to go to the hospital, the chopper will get us there, quick time, but first she wants to evaluate you.’

I sat up then and was a bit light headed, but I ignored my body and then just asked the question.

‘Does everyone know about me now?’

He looked at me and smiled and then nodded.

‘H…h…how are they about me?’

‘Honey, I know my staff and I can tell you that I would have been extremely upset if they had been anything but supportive. Everyone knows about your condition, if that’s what we should call it. I explained that you have had issues most of your life and it looks like there may be medical reasons for that; hence the doctors visit.

‘They all want to help and no one will be shocked or surprised if you dress more girly. Brenda wanted to come up and give you a cuddle; you know how motherly she is. Julia is very protective and would do anything for you. The others have all showed their support in their own way and I have to say that I’m proud of every one of them.’

I lay back down as I was feeling rather tired now the worry of outing myself had miraculously gone away. Even my aches and pains seemed to have lessened and for that, I was thankful.

My father seemed to be distracted for a moment and then he looked down at me.

‘Get some rest honey. I’ll show the doctor up when she comes.’

‘What was that about, Sophie?’

‘Hi Hannah, just Daddy. He said that everyone is cool about us…I mean me.’

‘Great, I wonder what they would say if they knew that I was inside your head.’

‘They would be as freaked as we were.’

‘True; mind you, it’s a win, win situation. I get to be sort of alive through you and you get the benefit of my knowledge, wisdom and all round coolness.’

‘You are more like an ear-worm.’

‘Charming, I love you too!’

‘So,’ I said, subtly changing the subject, ‘where did you go off to?

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve just popped back into my head again.’

‘I never left.’

‘Yes you did, I could tell. I felt sort of empty.’

‘Aww, isn’t that sweet.’

So?’

‘What?’

‘Where did you go?’

‘Erm, not sure. I can’t really remember. It was like a dream and I think that I saw and spoke to Mummy; as I say, just a dream. I can’t remember the details. I still miss her. Remember, to you she died a while back but to me, its like almost yesterday.’

I felt her pain and tried to comfort her by imagining her in front of me and giving her a hug.

‘Thanks sis.’

‘That’s what sisters are for; mind you, I thought that sisters just argued?’

‘Not us, as long as you agree that I’m always right.’

‘What if you’re wrong?’

‘When have I ever been wrong?’

‘’Do you want me to list them alphabetically or numerically?’

‘Ha, ha.’

I had a bit of a lie down and must have slept for a bit. When I woke up I was feeling much better and my aches and pains had mysteriously gone away.

Almost to the minute on the hour, Doctor Sawyer arrived with her assistant nurse and my father tagging along behind. The doctor was about forty had a nice smile and didn’t look much like a doctor, more like a PE teacher. She was a bit muscular for a woman, and looked über fit. She had a doctor’s bag and looked as if she knew her stuff.

‘Are you feeling better, honey?’ asked Daddy.

‘Yes, I’m fine now. It must be all the stress that caused me to have a funny turn.’

‘That’s good, I’ll leave you to it then,’ said Daddy, looking a bit uncomfortable, ‘just call if you need me.’

He smiled and gave me the thumbs up sign. I just smiled weakly and finger waved as he went out leaving me to the tender mercies of the medical profession.

‘Here we go!’

‘Keep quiet Hannah, she’s a doctor she might think that I have voices in my head.’

‘You have!’

‘Hannah!’

She giggled and I sighed.

‘Will she ever grow up?’ I thought.

Coming back into the real world, I noticed that the nurse was much younger than the doctor and very pretty in an obvious way, not that I was jealous, of course. Then the nurse (call me Anna) smiled and winked at me and I felt all guilty at my uncalled for and catty thoughts.

‘Well Sophie, I understand that you are having a few issues according to your father?’ asked the good doctor.

‘You could say that.’

‘Right, whilst Anna gets all her bits and pieces together, lets have a chat; shall we sit? Good, tell me all about it.’

And that’s what I did. I told her about how I had always felt that I was a girl inside and the tricks that my sister and I played on our parents like switching clothes to confuse them. Then I told her the highly edited version of what was happening to my body. She seemed to be surprised that I was developing as a girl so quickly…she wasn’t the only one surprised.

‘All right, could you get undressed and let us have a look at you? You can change in your en-suite and you might feel more comfortable if you put a robe on.

Anna had some electrical equipment that she was fiddling with and I wondered how much of that was going to be used on me. Then I saw the syringe and vial thingies. Did I ever tell you that I didn’t like the sight of blood, especially my own? I could see that I was going to be made a pin-cushion when I had an armful of blood taken out of me.

I went into the en-suite and got undressed.

‘Hang in there kid.’

'It’s all right for you; you can go away somewhere in my head, shut the door and think nice thoughts while I’m tortured by the Spanish inquisition.’

‘No-one expects the Spanish inquisition!’

‘Oh, shut up!’

‘Hmmph.’

I now had no clothes on and I could see that my transformation was nearly complete, there was little of the boy left in me and my shape had changed to that of a young girl, complete with small but definite breasts. Where I once had a penis, there was just a little nub and my scrotal sac was forming itself into something a bit different and with an indentation where I just knew a vagina was waiting to burst forth. Well not maybe burst but implode, or maybe…

This was getting me nowhere. I wondered if the doctor and Anna would need smelling salts at the sight of me. I knew that I could with something to drink that was a tad stronger than coke; maybe a treble gin and tonic? Nah, don’t like alcohol, makes me go funny. The one and only time I tried it was at school behind the cricket pavilion with Smith Minor; he snagged a bottle from his dad’s drinks cabinet. At least I wasn’t sick after, like Smith Minor…

‘Get on with it Sophie, they won't bite!’

‘How do you know?’

I put on my dressing gown, all pink and silky and then walked out to meet my fate.

I wont go into all the tests; it was boring, a bit painful when I had several vials of my precious blood taken and then it was rather uncomfortable when I had a digital rectum examination.

Then I laid down on my bed and Anna smeared some cold gel over my belly and used a portable ultrasound thingie to see what lay beneath the skin.

There were a few non-professional ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aah’s’ coming from Anna and a puzzled frown was on the face of Doctor Sawyer. I wondered what they were seeing, I hoped that it wasn’t something life threatening…

A few moments later Doctor Sawyer and Anna when into a sort of huddle for a bit. There appeared to be a whispered but slightly heated discussion going on.

It was obvious that both doctor and nurse were surprised at what they saw, inside and out. I think that they were expecting someone with a bit more of a, shall we say, male physique, instead they had little me, almost all girl by now.

The medical team de-huddled after a short while and then came over to me.

‘So, erm Sophie, how long have these changes been taking place?

‘A few days.’

‘What, you mean months, of course?’

‘No, days.’

‘That can’t be possible.’

‘Well, it happened,’ I replied, getting a bit annoyed at the implication that I was lying.

‘Have you been taking a drugs?

‘NO!’

‘You tell ‘em Sophie; stuck up cow!’

‘Riiight , replied the doctor, looking less than convinced, 'well, please get dressed now and I ask your father to come in.’

I did as requested but first washed off the greasy gel for my belly. I wondered what the doctor would say to Daddy.

After putting back on my panties bra and yellow sundress, I applied some lippy and then brushed my hair through. I now felt a bit less like a test subject and more like normal, if normal was the right word for me.

Looking at my reflection, all I saw was all girl and no boy. I hoped and prayed that in would be accepted as such.

‘We will be accepted; Daddy will see to that.’

I took a deep breath and then walked back into the bedroom.

Daddy was there and was poring over some paperwork with Doctor Sawyer whilst Anna’s was putting her instruments of torture back into the bags.

Daddy turned to me and smiled.

‘Are you okay?’

‘I think so,’ I replied as I went and sat by the window.

A few moment later everyone was sat down and I awaited the verdict.

‘Well,’ said Doctor Sawyer, ‘I have been a doctor for many years and I think that this is a first for me. Sophie, you appear to be spontaneously changing into a girl. That is obviously impossible and you must have an underlying reason for this to be happening such as some form of intersexualism, although the apparent changes that you have been experiencing is beyond anything that I have seen or heard of.

‘I need to see your medical records, of course and I will also need to have some further tests done as a matter of urgency at the hospital before I can fully formalize what you are going through. I can say though, with some assurance, that you are quite unique and when I publish my findings…’

‘No,’ said my father.

‘Sorry?’

‘There will be no publishing of findings. I would hold you to your Hippocratic Oath and would expect, no demand that any and all medical issues relating to my daughter be strictly confidential. Your hospital was built with funds supplied by me and I am, as you know, a director of the hospital and on the board of governors. If you cannot fulfill those conditions then regretfully, I would have to look elsewhere for any help, support and treatment of Sarah.’

To say that the doctor looked like she had been slapped in the face with a wet haddock would be an understatement, but she did look a bit green around the gills…

‘I would never…I mean, the patient is always the priority. Nothing would ever be divulged to a third party.’

‘I’m glad to hear it,’ replied my father, dryly and then continued, ‘I would expect all members of staff to maintain secrecy otherwise things would become very uncomfortable for all concerned.’

‘I can assure you that no member of staff would breach confidentiality.’

‘Good, so what happens next?’

Doctor Sawyer looked at me.

‘We need to get you to hospital. I am concerned about the rate of changes to your body and we need to make sure that you have no underlying problems that need addressing. Also, I think that it would be advisable to see a psychiatrist who specializes in gender matters to be on hand…

‘I’m not mad!’ I said, standing up suddenly.

‘No one said that you are, but you must admit that your body has made some startling changes and we need to make sure that you are able to cope with those changes.’

‘That makes sense, Sophie.’

‘I suppose so Daddy, but I’m scared that everyone will think that I’m a freak.’

He came over and hugged me. I must admit to having a bit of a cry then.

‘Anyone who knows you are aware that you are not and have never been a freak. You are a brave girl trying to come to terms with something that might make the strongest person weak and you are coping very well under the circumstances.’

‘Oh gosh, Daddy is such a sweetie-pie’

I couldn’t disagree with Hannah.

Arrangements were made to go by helicopter to the hospital and soon I was making my way downstairs with Daddy. Doctor Sawyer and Anna went on ahead and were waiting for us.

I was so wrapped up in myself, that I didn’t realize that the hall was full of people. Then the clapping started.

I could feel myself go red. All the staff were there, Julie, Brenda and everyone.

As I reached the bottom of the staircase, Brenda came up and gave me a big hug.

‘You look very pretty Sophie. You make a lovely girl.’

‘She was hugging me so tight, I wondered if I might become an ex-girl, if she didn’t lighten up.

‘Thanks,’ I muttered into her ample bosom.

Julia was coming with us as she was my minder and she took my hastily packed bag and carried it out to the chopper while I said goodbye to everyone. They were all so nice and I must admit that I was tearful.

No one seemed to mind.

As the helicopter took off, I looked down at the people waving us off and I wondered how things would go at the hospital. Hannah had been very quiet.

‘Hannah, are you okay?’

‘I hate flying.’

I could feel her fear.

‘Oh sis, I forgot; go off and have a nap or whatever you do. I’ll wake you when we get there.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yea, go and chill out.’

‘Okay, see you.’

And then in an instant she was gone and my head felt empty again. It was a funny feeling and not very pleasant. I had gotten used to having Hannah around and once again, I wondered where she went off to.

The flight didn’t take that long and soon I could see the big H of the helipad at the hospital. Daddy had held my hand most of the way and had tried to talk to me about work and the new things in the pipeline that would make Apple green with envy, but to be honest, I was too wrapped up in my concerns to pay much attention.

The large, newish, state of the art hospital was now directly below. As we came into land, I wondered what would happen to me, what tests I would have and how long it would take for me to be transformed into a girl. Also I realized that would have to be very careful not to give away the fact that my sister was living inside my head and sharing my body.

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To Be Continued..?

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