Our resident MegaTomboy won't be happy with this. Sorry, hon.

Debbie looked at me in shock as I walked up to her. “I can die happy now, I’ve seen everything!”

“Ha ha, five thousand comedians out of work, and you’ve gotta be funny.” I smiled and twirled, and my short denim skirt flared out, showing my legs. I had paired it with a white cotton blouse and black ballet flats. “So, whatya think?”

I was anxious as heck, but I’d decided to present a bold, confident front, even if my knees were shaking like crazy. I felt so naked, but I had to try this, I had to resolve this conflict within me somehow, and since I don’t think I’m going to be using the men’s room anytime in the near future, I figure it’s time to let my “inner Emily” out.

“Damn girl, you don’t do things by half, do you?” Debbie said with wide, surprised eyes.
“I would have bet almost anything that you’d see me walking downtown naked in 6” heels before I ever saw you in a skirt.”

“Well, it’s only a ten minute drive...” I said as I jiggled my keys hopefully. “Heck, I’d
even pay to see that!”

“Forget it!” She giggled. She did look good in her black skirt, red blouse and boots. “What happened? Did you get blackmailed into this or something?”

“No, and you have no idea how hard this is for me!” I said. “I kinda decided it was time for a change.”

“George W. Bush marching in the New York Gay Pride parade is a change. This is extraordinary!” She looked at me critically. “Damn, you’re so dang cute in it, too!

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I mean, yeah, it was great that I looked good, but I was having a hard time dealing with these girly clothes. I was committed, though, and I was going to see this through.

A couple of cars passed by, and the guys inside honked and waved. We just smiled and ignored them. Deb looked at me, concerned.

“You gonna be okay, Emily? I can almost feel you shaking.”

“I’m embarrassed, Debbie, but I have to do this. I’m tired of fighting a useless battle. I’m going to have to accept that Gabe’s turn is over, and Emily has to get started.”

Debbie looked at me with obvious tears in her eyes. “Are you...are you sure you want to do this? Maybe we can still find a way, somehow?”

We were both choked up. “I’m sorry, it’s time, Debbie. We have to face it, Gabe died in Arizona. Let him rest in peace.” Neither of us said anything for a long time, but we both were upset. I think Debbie had been hoping that I would eventually change back, and maybe something might happen between us, but it was time to stop living in a fantasy world, depressing as that might be.

When we got to school, we both made a stop at the ladies room. We cleaned ourselves up, had a quick hug, then we headed for our respective home rooms. I got several admiring glances that made me wish long skirts were in. Amanda and Grace clapped their hands when they saw me, but then they saw that my eyes were a bit red.

“Emily, are you all right?” Amanda asked me.

“Yeah, Debbie and I were talking about Gabe, and it just made me sad.” Oh dang, there go my eyes again. Grace quickly hands me a tissue, and I dab at my eyes.

“Hi, guys! Oh, Emily, are you okay, honey?” Kathy J. came in from behind me, but quickly saw that I was upset.

“We were just talking about Gabe, Kathy.” Grace said, and I noticed her eyes were also a bit misty.

Several people overheard us, I guess, because I felt several light touches as girls offered their sympathies. I heard someone clearing their throat, and when I looked up, Andrew was looking uncomfortable, but his eyes were moist, too.

“A lot of us miss him, Emily. He was a super great guy.”

“Thanks, Andrew. Hey, we need to get into class. Thank you, everyone.” I really needed to get my mind on something a bit more pleasant.

I got through the next couple of classes and was headed to my next class when I saw Tim as we passed in the hall. He smiled, and then he noticed my outfit and his smile got bigger yet. I was both embarrassed and happy that he liked my skirt, and I probably blushed again, but I held my head up and continued to class.

Debbie and I met up at lunch, and we headed out to our favorite spot.

“I’m having a very hard time focusing,” she confessed. “It’s almost like Gabe is really gone, now.” She was really struggling to keep it together. I reached over and gave her a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Debbie. I just can’t do it anymore.” I told her. “I can’t hold back my life waiting for a way to change back, when we all know it’s not going to happen. I’m forcing myself to really accept that I’m a girl, now. I know that no one wants to give up on that possibility that I’ll go back, but I’m tired of mentally holding my breath.”

“I know you’re right, but my heart always hoped...”

I hugged her again. “I know, Debbie. I know.”

We didn’t talk much after that, but we held each other’s hands as we sat in the cool shade. When the bell rang, we hugged again, and then headed into our next class.

“See you later, Em.”

“Do you wanna stop at the Ice Cream Shoppe after school?”

She smiled. “Like you really had to ask.”

We both giggled and then we went to our separate classes.

After school, we sat eating our ice cream and just making small talk.

“Hey, I just thought of something!” I said with a smile.

“A blonde with a thought! It’s a sign from God!” She laughed.

“Cute. Laugh it up, funny girl, paybacks are a bitch.” I said, with an evil glare that made her laugh even harder, which made me laugh a bit as I watched her. “No, it occurs to me that we need to do some shopping, now.”

Funny how that one word made her stop. Almost like someone kick-started her brain.

“Oh yeah, you’re going to need a lot of clothes, won’t you?”

“Yeah, maybe I could go with mom and Grandma, if they aren’t too busy.”

“Oh no you don’t!” She smiled, then looked concerned. “Have you told your family about your decision?”

“No, but I’m going to have to. I don’t think it’ll be a big problem, to tell you the truth.”

We hugged again (Wow, we do that an awful lot, now), and I headed home. I walked in the door and saw Grandma and Mom in the living room. This was the first time they nhad seen me in this skirt, and I could see they were surprised.

“Congratulations, it’s a girl?”