Work yesterday sucked. Rained all day, cleaned off a back patio of a recently vacated townhouse that they are getting ready to start showing first thing, then just blew wet leaves about all day with the blower. Wasn't the most efficient use of time, but it was the most efficient I could do with the rain, and the leaves just had to be blown away from the walkways, rain or not. Nothing terribly interesting happened, though I have mostly written a psalm in my head that I just need to mesh out in writing, which I intend to do tomorrow.

Yesterday was payday, though, and I burned over a hundred dollars already stopping at Walmart and the Dollar Tree on the way home. Picked up a bunch of depilatories, finger and toenail clippers, tweezers, nail file, a pumice stone, and some Niacin tablets. Also got a new (clean, not for work) clip visor, some cheese, and some oj. I'm now taking 1000 mg of Niacin a day to help counteract some of the undesired effects of the licorice, in addition to a teaspoon of Cream of Tartar (potassium salt) mixed into oj with my morning dose. At the Dollar Tree I picked up my 24 oz Propel (cheapest place for them), restocked my energy shots for a few more weeks, and a bag of harvest cheddar sun chips.

Ever try tying down a bunch of shopping bags to a bike rack in heavy rain? Not suggested.

I last shaved my face and removed all my body hair on Sunday before the meeting - almost a week later and my facial hair looks about like it used to halfway through the day. Going to start using depilatories on it on Saturdays, see if that lasts a full week at a time.

As I was getting ready for work today, my mother surprised me by presenting me with two possible names. I told her if she could choose a new name for me I'd use it. She seems to be on a mission to make sure I retain a somewhat masculine name - one name was Akira Kai... straight up Japanese, and while Akira CAN be either (tends towards males though...), Kai is masculine. Combined... well, since American's are known to bastardize everything anyways, I think no one would care... the other one was Audra Kai. At least Audra is very definitely female.

Well, I stand corrected, apparently, even though Kai has historically always been a male name, it is recently gaining popularity for females.

I am OK with Audra Kai, but I do wonder why the Japanese, she never would have had the least interest in it before her children gained an interest in Japanese culture... Could always pretend it's one of the other origin countries... Anyways, I think the meaning she was aiming for was "strong change"... even though Audra really means "noble strength", coming from Old English, and "change" is only one among many of the Japanese meanings, and "noble strength change" ... well, it's interesting, I guess.

With Akira Kai, she was actually going with the Burmese form of Kai, and aiming for "intelligent strength" ... though a strictly Japanese meaning would be one she doesn't necessarily like - "intelligent change"... heh.

Well, that was this morning, and I thought maybe she was on the mend, especially since later, she called my older brother while we were working and asked him for his opinion... Which he gave an opinion of full support, of course. Well... we'll talk more on this subject a bit later.

After work, I went up to my room and changed, then rode over to the sister who has an Abigail with the husband of another of my sister's. While I wasn't really intending to come out to them yet, it just sorta felt right. I have his full support and he assures me my sister will not be a problem.

The meeting with the other group of four went extremely well, as expected. I have all of their full support. Details aren't really necessary. Though I sent my sister for a loop when I told her the last time I shaved was Sunday night. She remembers my old hirsutism well. She also has a slight problem with a mustache she needs to remove frequently... though her imbalance is one of too much Aldosterone. She won't take pills though, and refuses to use herbal tinctures in hot water for a tea either... Could probably find her something that'll act on the reducer to Aldosterone to inhibit it... Would need to be careful though... inhibit it too much and you'll have another problem entirely which I do believe I might've mentioned a few times already... Anyways, that's neither here, nor there, she wouldn't use anything even should I suggest it, she wants to try to get shots or something.

Well, they drove me back home, and mom... well... she's really having a rough time. She backtracked again and started attacking transgender and saying a pre-op ts is not really any different from a tv... with the unsaid supposition that being tv means you must be gay. She also insists that since we need to keep taking at least estrogen for the rest of our lives, post-op, that we can't ever really transition... Oh... my poor mother... why must she remain so narrow-minded?

Speaking of her being narrow-minded, she objects to me calling a modern poetic prayer a psalm, because it's "not scripture". ... She does recall that much of what became compiled into the scriptures were once the diaries and journals of troubled believers, I hope? Including a woman, for one particular book. She seems to think the only psalms ever written are contained in the book of psalms - primarily written by one particular man, who was, by the time much of the the book was written, disgraced of God. Hm. And she seems to think a perfectly righteous young woman who just happened to be born in the wrong body can't write psalms.

So far it's looking likely that I will lose her and my two older siblings that are active LDS - even with my bishop supporting me.

I haven't mentioned the other still active LDS member of my family yet. She lives in Texas, and is so like our mother, that the two of them cannot get along. Especially since the sister has managed to become successful. But being so much alike pretty well assures me that what I see my mother going through, my sister will be worse - mom's my mom, whether she likes my choice or not, she's going to work a little harder at accepting me than a sister is likely to. Especially a sister I barely talk to. Ever. She's virtually cut ties with the family, and only ever talks to mom, and only when mom calls down there.

I think I just won't bother telling her, when it eventually reaches her ears she'll react by disowning me whether spun positively or not. Since I already have so little contact with her, losing her completely won't hurt as bad as the other fish, or mom.

I only have two siblings left that I actually care to talk to, one lives just a few blocks north in Michigan, the other lives out in California. I don't really worry about either of them.

Keeping on, keeping on,

Abigail Drew.