Bridges 18

Chapter 18

It’s been two days since Cass said she’d move in with me. It’s been a busy time with getting the house ready for Christmas and moving things around and tossing out more stuff or putting it my garage for storage.

Brandon and Ryan, Steve and Bobby have been great fixing up my garage and stuff since it was really kind of getting old and there were things falling apart inside of it. Some new beams, new shelves and fixing up dad’s old work bench and even getting in space heaters to redo the old floor in there with a new one of set bricks in concrete.

It really looks good in there. I thanked Brandon very, very personally this morning after Cass had gone to work….There’s something to be said for having hot sweaty sex when you’re still endorphin flushed from a hard morning run.

I love Cass and making love with her and having her make love to me is…but there’s just something about hot hard real flesh and all that power and muscle that Brandon has. He so easily makes me feel small and delicate and beautiful.

I can’t help but smile even a little bit silly like as I’m soaking in my bath and easing that good hurt while I enjoy the hot water, and the light lilac and vanilla scents of the foaming bath stuff and soap up my legs and my pits and get all smooth for my loves but as much for myself too.

Get out and drying off I’m greeted by the smells of Jenny baking already. I just do ankle socks and yoga pants and one of dad’s button up old plaid shirts and head downstairs to see what’s up.

Jenny’s awesome, a great kid sister really. She’s in a bandanna over her hair and a nice simple dress with short sleeves and it’s just this soft cream color with yellow trim and sunflowers around the bottom hem of it. I swear she sometimes looks like she stepped out of the 1950’s. I know she made the dress I was with her when we bought the material. She’s got flour out and she’s got every baking thing I don’t think that I knew that I owned out and filled with stuff the kitchen table is covered in baking ingredients like crazy.

I whistle long and low. “Holy cow, Jenny what’s going on?”

“Ahm bakin Sammy, what’s it look like silly.”

“Yeah I can see that but wow, this is a lot of stuff.”

“Sammy It’s Christmas time and I always bake up a storm this time of year. Plus we got the fellas an me an Cass plus if Cass is living here it’d only be right an all to bake up a few things an all for the other Mounties and such at the office and all.”

I smile nodding as she passes me my morning coffee. It’s sweet but it’s also a good idea. Actually it gives me another idea too. “You want some help; I think I’ve got a whole mess of people I want to bake for all of a sudden.”

“Why sure hun, who’d you have in mind?”

“Dad’s fire hall, and a whole bunch of care packages for the guys and girls still over seas.”

Jenny’s eyes went huge and she hugs me. “I’d love to Sammy; I ain’t never baked for something so important before yanno.”

“Me either, I’ve never spent a lot of time baking. I can follow a mix but this.”

“This is good old fashioned scratch baking Sammy, so folks call it work but I think it’s just a wonderful thing to do especially for those you love.”

“Yeah, it’s just…there’s something so really femmy about just knowing all of this stuff to me Jenny, Like all that stuff you do that’s all so old fashioned and sweet and stuff. My mom knew some of that and I didn’t get to really be her daughter but I really want to learn this.”

“And here I’m worried about me being some backwater hick and all. But y’all know I’m more than happy to be showing you this stuff Sammy. I’ve never really had myself a sister like you before.”

“Because I wasn’t born a girl?”

“No silly because you’ve been places an seen things and all that. Most of my family barely left town only to go to places where everyone else was like us too. I learn things about real life everyday living here with you.”

I smile at her and we hug and I make a few calls as I’m having my morning coffee. I call down to CFB Commox and talk to some of the staff there and eventually the commander who says it’d be okay to bring stuff to send through them to Kandahar. And passes my call to the head of logistics and supply.

I’m actually excited by the idea of it and Jenny gets excited about it too having never done anything for her country before. I’m on the phone to Lacey who said she’d be over after work and stuff and I call Cass all excited. “Hey you.”

“Hey Sam, what’re you doing beautiful?” I can’t help but smile and bite my lower lip.

“I’m baking with Jenny.”

“You bake?”

“Uhm, not really well but I’m going to learn as we go. Guess what?”

“Uhm…What?”

“We’re going to do up a whole bunch of stuff and the base down at Commox is going to get it flown over to the troops on some of the supply planes.”

“Really, that’s pretty cool; I know they’ll really appreciate a taste of home cooking and stuff especially from one of their own.”

“Yeah, I really hope so. Just the thought of being able to do this for them after being over there myself kind of makes this really important.”

“Hopefully it’ll do you some good with your therapy and stuff.”

“Yeah though I never thought of it that way. So you bust today?”

“Meh, more of the same. Drive around, listen for trouble, write some tickets pretty standard fare so far but it’s early yet.”

“Well, be careful out there beautiful.”

“Always Sam, I’ve got a lot more to come home too now.”

“I Love You.”

“I Love you too.”

We hang up from each other and I forgo my morning run for and apron of my own and me cranking up some tunes on the stereo and it’s all kinds of fun and silly as me and Jenny are singing along to CCR and Mountain, Nazareth, AC/DC and other bands that you hear on base a lot. I’m introducing her to a lot of the rock and roll devils music and showing her how to dance to it as she trades off with teaching me how to bake cookies from scratch and feather bread rolls and we make tons and tons of homemade deep fried doughnuts too. Some plain, some rolled still hot in cinnamon and sugar, some in a glaze made from water, lemon juice and powdered sugar or maple with it thickened by stirring in water and cornstarch.

Brandon and Ryan came over with Bobby and Steve at lunch and we just made hot dogs and craft dinner but the guys ate ten or so doughnuts each and Ryan stole out of there with a handful of peanut butter cookies.

There was something so…cool, girly, femme and awesome about that whole scene the two of us baking up a storm and then just having this easy lunch and feeding the guys and them pigging out. All four of them gave us these really big hugs and kisses thanking us over and over again for the awesome dinner. It got us both blushing and Brandon kissed me long and slowly and just all wonderfully and tender before he went back to work at his place. The kisses just seemed sort of extra special with that flavoring left over of the cinnamon and sugar still on him.

I make a run into town to pick up stuff we’re going to need like boxes to put the food in and waxed paper and boxes to ship it all in and stuff like that plus a list of more baking supplies and Cass isn’t there at the station but I drop off a dozen of each kind of the doughnuts we made plus two dozen cookies and two dozen rolls and Andrew’s there and he thanks us a lot and shows me around and off as Cass’s girl.

I blush but they all know about me in one way or another. Passing Cass’s office I see pictures of me and her here and there. She’s not shy about me and her being together. It’s so much this amazing ego boost to know that your SO talks to her friends and co-workers about having you as part of your life.

It’s also like getting into this kind of a different sect of society, cops are almost kind of forced to have this tight knit community within the community, like the military, or firefighters, EMT’s or hospital staff there’s stuff they do or see that people that live outside the life never get to see and that we can’t talk about to anyone else. There’s also the fact that Andrew shows me a series of pictures up on the wall of various RCMP units that where stationed here over the years, lots of history here. Then he points out a couple of pictures with my mom with the rest of the detachment when she was stationed here and another one with her in the hospital in her pj’s and her moose slippers getting flowers from the superintendent. She’s wearing her dress red jacket over her shoulders and she’s so thin it hurts even to see that picture. Dad’s hovering near her but as sick as she was then she’s standing tall in front of this guy and even though she’s that sick and her hair’s gone there’s fight in her.

Beside her picture is a breast cancer memorial ribbon and a plaque stating there’s a yearly thousand dollar bursary in her name for a GED student to go onto community college. I can’t help but smile at that, that was all mom. She’d have thought of that, who sets up something like that for the high school drop out kids that are trying to get back on their feet.

There’s some more tears at that because it’s so my mom. She’d always been my hero growing up and honestly I don’t know if it was a TG thing but as long as I can remember I wanted to be like my mom. Now seeing this, and everything she’s right back there. In the hero zone. Andrew gives me a one armed hug.

“Your mom was something else Sam. Cass and I’ll go places on the job and Someone’ll mention you and her going out and there’s people here in town who still remember what a good officer she was.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, Cass was actually leery of asking you out and has been nervous while she’s been seeing you. You Chase’s are like royalty here in Bridgetown with some people.”

“Really?” I sniffle.

“Your Mom was a respected officer, your Dad a hero of a firefighter and then there’s you Sam. There’s a whole lot of people who don’t see the person that left town a guy and came back a girl. There’s a whole lot of folks who see you as the girl who risked her life time and time again saving our troops in the field. Trust me Cass’s been getting you treat that girl good speech from some of them.”

I’m stunned and sniffling and he gets me some tissues. “I really never thought that anyone’s think that well of me. I always just seem to notice the bad I guess.”

“Well, it’s probably because the assholes always seem to go out of their way to be assholes and get in your face. Most people don’t care that much and then there’s the people your parents have helped, that you’ve helped…five under fire medical rescues not counting the stuff in surgery on base or the fact you got shot down in the field and after getting to where you get rescued by a US army unit and they get hit by a roadside bomb you still saved a GI when you were wounded. Hell Cass thought she was nowhere near your league.”

“God no, Cass is the most amazing girl, woman that I’ve ever known.”

“Well Cass thinks the same thing about you.”

I’m beaming at that and wiping the tears away. “Uhm Andy do you think I could get a copy of those pictures and stuff for home?”

“Sure Sam, I’ll take care of it myself.”

I’m a little shaky though, him bringing up Afghanistan has things stirred up a bit. He looks at me. “C’mon lets get a coffee.”

Andrew takes me to their break room and pours me a cup. Several Mounties are there and everyone of the calls me Sam and asks me if I’m okay.

“Not really, I’m still working through some PTSD stuff.”

One of the girls Kate I think looks at me. “Bad was it? Some of us have been under fire but nothing like what you’ve been through.”

Andy gets me into a chair and I sip my coffee with both hands. There’s about seven of them here but something just comes out of me like I’m safer here than most places.

“We were enroute to a pick up call for wounded under fire when it happened. It was the unit that picked me up actually. It took about thirty minutes flying to get into country and I was spaced out trying to get into that zone you sort of have to get into to run through the shit to get to the soldiers so I didn’t know what happened until it happened.

One minute we were flying then we were hit by a Sov era RPG round…if it hadn’t hit armor plate we’d have been blown to hell. As it was I was hit with a wash of flames spilling in and the door gunner got torn to ribbons. We went down hard and fast and I got thrown clear as we hit a gravel dune. There was a group of insurgents that came up on us fast and we ended up in a firefight with them losing the pilot and the Doc to weapons fire before the US army guys that we had been called in to get, came and saved our asses and got us out of there.

It was three hours after that with all of our wounded and theirs stable enough to move we headed out. We passed through this valley that had a small village in it when we hit the IED.

The Humvee I was in got tossed upside down like a kid threw a tantrum and I couldn’t here a thing it was this dullness that tuned out every other sound except for this whining ring in my ears. I fractured my right arm and there was a chunk of metal through my leg. Then everything just happened. These people came out of the buildings on the other side of the street shooting at us and we shot back trying to get to cover. I think I shot four or five people but the only one I’m sure I hit was a kid with a submachine gun who came around the corner of a building with a bandanna over his mouth. I shot him and killed him, it wasn’t until he fell and his mask came untied that I saw he was just a kid.

Just some kid who’d be an annoying little teen in the arcade or skateboarding or something here and I shot him. Five rounds center mass and he never got a round off. I was staring at what I did when I took two to the shoulder here. (I touch where the scars are.) The rest of it just melts into pain and chaos and blood loss.

I remember some GI Jane and another GI getting me out of there and dumping quik-clot on my leg and shoulder and getting carried to a medical chopper with other wounded. I kind of remember the american kid beside me spurting a bleeder in mid-flight and the medics were too busy to get to it fast enough and sliding my hands into the meat of hid thigh to pinch shut his femoral artery in his leg until they could get to it.

I don’t remember passing out during that but I was told they had to pry my fingers clear. I don’t remember that but the crash, seeing Nathalie our door gunner getting killed by the brunt of the RPG wash…the Afghani kid, I’ll never get that kid out of my head…”

I’m shaking a bit, crying and two of the female officers are wiping tears off of my face as I sip the coffee. It’s quiet in the break room until there’s hands on the sides of my face and Cass is there…

I whine, it just hurts to have let this out to share it and she’s there in her uniform, vest, jacket and looking like my version of a knight, my cop-girl, my heroine…holding my face and looking at me eyes full of love and understanding and she leans down and kisses me deeply. I was drowning in my past there and she just saved me.

It was one of those kisses that lasted forever and nowhere near long enough.

Cass took my to the truck telling Andy she was taking a sick day tomorrow…She drives me home…I’m cuddled next to her with her RCMP jacket around my shoulders and I’m lost in a daze of having been back there and her love fighting off the hell in my head and this security of the jacket that tugs a memory of wearing mom’s that I never had….

She took me home, to our room and lit scented candles, talked on the phone a bit and took me to our bed and undressed each other Cass just letting her vest and belt and gear fall to the floor.

There’s is something I’ll never ever forget…the sight of my busty beautiful Cass in just French cut black lace panties and still in her Mountie shirt it hanging loose over her body as she shook her hair out of the bun she had to keep it in. I’ve never seen a woman that beautiful as in that one moment.

She just undresses the rest of the way and slides into bed and holds me, kisses me gently face to face and staring me in my eyes grounding me to the here and now with her. It’s like that for hour? It seemed like hours when Brandon comes in and undresses and slips into bed behind me and presses up close to me giving me this loving body to lean on and his arms slip around me and his hands actually pull Cass closer to me and he nuzzles in and kisses my neck.

It’s never been like this, I never thought I’d have this…them…be, feel safe.

I break down into tears….
Letting them just love me…