Shopping had become ho-hum over the last few months as Kerry had limited time to shop, work and study so things had to be done at double speed. Today the shopping was a time to enjoy being out with each other as well as filing the pantry with all the things Jo liked to eat. The food was packed away before lunch then Jo asked about going over to one of the bigger centre’s for some new clothes that she needed, the fashion season was already changing and Jo always kept up with the latest styles.

Lunch was bypassed in favour of a late snack in the shops, Jo had changed into what she called her shopping clothes, easy on easy off, just the sort of thing for change rooms. They must have gone through ten stores before Kerry called timeout, “this must be a young person’s activity” she told Jo who had only bought one top so far.

Coffee and cake were polished off quickly then Jo was off again, of course Kerry didn’t just stand there waiting in the shops but her decision making process was much quicker, may have been residual male genes or something. Jo found a lovely dark blue two piece that absolutely had her name on it, or so she said, then a couple of silk shirts to go under.

“Now I think I need some new underwear to go with this” Jo said looking at Kerry almost asking for permission to spend her own money. “OK since you are so precious to me I’ll let you in on a secret, let’s go to my lingerie store” Kerry said heading back to the car parking area.

It took a good half hour to get to the store but Kerry parked her car and jokingly told Jo to behave herself inside the store, “Lisa is a nice person so don’t embarrass me please.” Lisa saw Kerry walking along the pavement and before the door opened she went around the counter to greet her.

“Look at you, you look fantastic” Lisa said almost ignoring Jo. They hugged like long lost friends before Kerry introduced Jo “Lisa, this is Jo she’s a friend from work and a very good friend” Lisa looked at Kerry then at Jo “that makes you special then Jo” and she held out her hand.

Jo walked around the store as Lisa and Kerry stood near the counter talking about what Kerry had been up to, Lisa had known Kerry for more than a year before others had even seen her. Lisa had helped Kerry find bits that looked nice and felt nice even if she had nothing to put in them, the nicest bra’s always made her feel so feminine.

Jo found the corsets at the back of the shop, but it was the camisole and pants that she found so enticing, the feel of real silk embroidered with little white flowers and dark blue birds on the light blue silk. She chose a couple of pairs then moved to the baby dolls, here she found a pair that read “Precious” in sequins and chose her size then returned and chose a pair in Kerry’s size as well.

“Very nice pair of baby dolls, Jo” said Lisa as she took them off the hanger and folded them up, “you have picked up the wrong size should I swap them for you?” Lisa asked Jo.

“Not unless you know Kerry’s size better than me dear” Jo shot back with a forced smile on her face.

“I could say that I have dressed her more than anyone else has but that would be telling” replied Lisa.

“Girls, behave or I will shop in Target for my cotton tops” said Kerry slapping Jo on the arm and staring at Lisa. Jo had bought a couple of nice sets and the baby dolls but still paid less than eighty dollars, “good prices, you should come here next time you need to buy some bits” Kerry said after looking at the docket.

“Bye dear and don’t forget where I live” Lisa said, air kissing Kerry as she turned to leave.

Kerry unlocked the car and let Jo climb in before she spoke “why did Lisa get under your skin so much, she has been so good to me?” Jo sat there fuming causing her face to go red as she held her breath, “come on talk to me before you throw a paddy” said Kerry.

“Since when have I become a work mate?” Jo said misquoting Kerry’s words “and what gives her the right to be so friendly with you?” Kerry looked at Jo sitting there getting redder.

“I am so touched at your mood, this has to be jealousy” Kerry said “says who?” replied Jo grabbing furiously at her seat belt. “Says my experience precious one, or should I wait till we get home to use that phrase?” Kerry said starting the car and pulling away from the curb.

It took all of fifteen minutes to get back to the unit and park the car in the bay, most of it spent in silence until the front door was closed. Jo threw the bags on the lounge and turned to Kerry, “OK tell me off or tell me that she means nothing to you” Jo said folding her arms in defiance. Kerry held her elbows and forced her to sit down while still looking into her eyes.

“She means nothing to me and never has been anymore than just a very helpful sales person, remember buying lingerie as a guy takes either guts or good help.”

“Are you sure that’s all?” said Jo starting to calm down a little, “yes, and she must see many men in lacy lingerie everyday” Kerry joked.

“Sorry, something just snapped in me, it felt like I was being robbed of you” Said Jo “do I need to apologize to Lisa?”

“Wouldn’t hurt but we can do that tomorrow, I forgot to get something for myself” Kerry said ready to make a drink.

“Hang on, I bought you something special” Jo said handing Kerry the pair of baby dolls.

“So is that our word for each other, ‘precious’ sounds right by me” Kerry held the top against her and Jo smiled “I think it has to be cos that’s how you make me feel all the time.”

Saturday night came around and they had nowhere to go, they sat on the lounge watching TV and painting their nails and toes, matching colours of course. Kerry saw Jo’s toe ring “that looks so good, doesn’t it get in the way or hurt?” Kerry asked. “Not unless it gets squashed flat, you should get one it looks so cool with sandals and painted toes” Jo said finishing her toes.

“I could do with some new shoes so how about tomorrow we go and get one?” asked Kerry “wow, my sister gets modern looking, wonders never cease” Jo said to Kerry’s surprise.

“What do you mean, I thought I looked good, are you telling me that I need a makeover in the fashion stakes?” Kerry asked.

“Look, you haven’t had the benefit of many years of being female to help you dress” Jo said “no, that’s wrong, let me just say that I could do so much if you let me help you shop for new clothes.” Kerry could have been very hurt but instead she was jumping for joy, she had always wanted to have a fashion advisor to help her with style and makeup but nobody had offered and now she had Jo.

Sunday was going to be a long day in the city, Jo told her about the latest fashion styles and how she needed to update her wardrobe, Kerry thought that it was all nearly new and why throw out something that wasn’t worn out but Jo convinced her otherwise. By bedtime they had agreed on where to shop, Kerry was told to simply bring her credit card and open mind, Jo would do the rest. Sitting in bed with matching nighties drinking hot chocolate the threat of Lisa had vanished as far as Jo was concerned however Kerry was not so sure anymore, had she missed something in the way Lisa treated her.

Sunday breakfast was the usual for Kerry, yoghurt and fruit followed by tea, Jo on the other hand ate like a person on death row - heartily. They took their time getting ready as the shops didn’t open till late in the morning then drove into the city to make sure they had plenty of range to choose from and the better prices. Jo had a couple of shops in mind and hence they became the first port of call in their trip, the younger shops that Kerry had avoided mainly because of her fear of being caught out by young girls who had the reputation of being cunning and cruel when it came to t-girls.

The shops had a good range of spring clothes already and Jo had to focus to stop herself from shopping, this was all about Kerry she kept saying in her mind. A few clothes at each store then some new jeans or two, the latest fashion was higher cut and the exposed cheeks look had finished according to the States, where fashion was created not followed. Kerry tried on everything that Jo brought to her but the choice to buy was still hers, when Kerry came out to show Jo an outfit it was normally both of them agreeing rather than just one liking it.

“Lets get you some new shoes for those jeans, and some heels that can show off your legs more” said Jo turning into a store that had more space than shoes, a sure sign of high price thought Kerry.

It was close to four before they finally sat down for drinks and a quick bite to eat, “I think we have done everything” said Jo. “Not quite everything, there’s still the Lisa matter” said Kerry looking at Jo’s face to gauge the reaction “oh, I forgot about her” lied Jo. Kerry pushed the point and Jo finally agreed that she should do the right thing by Kerry and apologize to Lisa after all it was her problem not Lisa’s.

Kerry drove to the lingerie shop and parked right out front, Lisa always closed at the last minute and never before, Lisa was still serving as they walked in. This time the response was more subdued from Lisa possibly sensing that Jo may have been a little put out.

“Hi, back so soon did you forget something” Lisa asked Kerry “not really” answered Jo “I need to apologize to you about how I reacted yesterday towards you. I was slightly defensive towards Kerry and I had no reason to be so bitchy, so can you forgive me and let me start again?” Jo asked Lisa.

Lisa looked at Kerry then back to Jo “I gathered something had upset you when you left the shop yesterday, was it something I said to you?”

“Not so much what you said but how I thought you looked at Kerry” Jo replied, Kerry interrupted her “Lisa, Jo has just moved in with me and she had no idea how much you helped me over the year.”

“Well she had better look after you or I will volunteer for the job” said Lisa emphasizing the word will. Jo looked at her ready to pounce “just joking Jo, relax I am happily married” Lisa said holding out her left hand and showing her ring finger.

“This is a bit of a change isn’t it dear?” Lisa asked Kerry “not really, Jo has known both sides of me for at least two years and is kinda special to me, OK I really do love her and she is so cute as well” Kerry said holding Jo’s hand. Jo blushed, this was the second time they had openly declared their love for each other this weekend but Jo still found it hard to understand how others would react.

Monday was another day and back at work the new work clothes drew several comments from both the girls and some of the guys in the office, Bill being one of them.

“Looks like Jo is having an impact on your clothing choice as well” said Bill as they stood in the kitchen getting their coffee mugs refilled, “as well as what?” asked Kerry. Bill made sure no one else was in the corridor nearby, “let me just say that I’ve noticed a few funny looks and touches between you two since you came back from holidays and Jo has moved into your place, so that’s all I need to know.”

Kerry was both shocked that Bill had noticed and relieved that he was saying nothing else “I could kiss you for being so sweet boss” Kerry said touching his arm. Jo walked in just as Kerry moved her hand “it’s OK Jo, Bill knows about us and that’s all he has to say about it” Kerry said sounding more like Forrest Gump.

“We promise to keep it professional in the office, Bill” said Jo, “I have seen too much this last year to make me get concerned about a little bit of touching, just don’t let me see anything else, please!” he said and left the room. Quietly but firmly Bill had set the boundary lines for Jo and Kerry while at work, Kerry knew she had special privileges from Bill and appreciated every one of them.

Semester two started and it was full on with work and study, until the October long weekend break came up for discussion. Sue suggested that her and Gwen wanted to have a few days away from the kids and wondered if Jo and Kerry wanted to go to the farm they had raved over so much. A quick phone call and they had two chalet’s set aside for them starting Thursday night until Monday morning, “four nights without kids” cheered Sue. Bill had approved the extra day off since the entire team had been working so hard, the husbands agreed as the footy grand final meant they would be watching the TV most of the Saturday and hopefully partying into the night if their team won, kids could look after themselves with the console games.

Sue offered to drive down there after work in the Tarago but Jo preferred to use two cars in case they wanted to split up during the weekend. Straight after work the two cars headed off, it would be three and a half hours of solid driving or four if they stopped for dinner, which they decided to do about half way there. Anne had made the fires and turned down the beds by the time they arrived, chocolates, wine and fruit sitting in two baskets for the girls along with a couple of discount vouchers for a “Pampering session” at the beauty spa.

Jo led the way into the farm and parked the cars near the kitchen back door, Anne had already seen the lights turn into the driveway and came out to meet them all. Anne hugged Jo and Kerry and seemed very different to the Anne they had met just three months earlier, slightly plumper but much happier. They filed into the kitchen and Anne offered them hot drinks after the long drive, as they sat drinking them Anne spoke to Kerry patting her stomach.

“Guess what?” she said smiling, “remember the night I came home after the beauty spa and we went out for supper, well I got more than I bargained for” Anne’s smile not diminishing in any way. Kerry hugged her and touched her belly.

“I am so jealous of you Anne, congratulations” Kerry said, Jo had overheard what she said and likewise she did the same but the hurt that she felt was only just hidden below the surface. Anne gave them keys and told them they would catch-up during the stay sometime, then left them to finish their drinks while she went off to bed. They moved the car next to the two chalets then unpacked their cases, the rooms were nicely warmed and a connecting door had been left unlocked to allow them to go from room to room.

“Better knock before you come barging in here girls” Jo said to Sue “too much information Jo” Gwen said after hearing what she had said. Gwen and Sue had been given two single beds but everything else was the same, the spa and bathrobes were just like Jo had described, the fire had been loaded with extra logs as they had all night to burn.

It was seven when Sue woke up and Gwen woke slightly after her, for them it was a sleep in but for Jo and Kerry it was still early morning and time to sleep. Breakfast was at eight so the two early risers were dressed and ready to eat in plenty of time so they ate alone talking with Anne over the plate of food that neither of them ever got unless it was mother’s day.

“Kerry tells me that you girls all work together, that must be fun” Anne said making small talk “with Jo around there is always fun and with Kerry we never know what she’s going to pull out of the bag to keep us guessing” Gwen said not really thinking that it could be taken any other way.

“Yes they do seem like friendly girls to me” Anne said quite innocently “that’s one way of putting it” giggled Sue “and more so lately.” Gwen kicked Sue under the table, just enough to let her know that was not fair but loud enough for Anne to hear it. They had finished their large breakfast when Jo walked into the kitchen.

“Usual plate full dear?” asked Anne as Jo sat down near the other two. “Yes please Anne, but light on the beans please, I don’t want to scare my work mates” Jo said, yawning as she got her first mug of tea from Anne.

“Told you two that this was better than being at home, I don’t have to do anything around here do I Anne?” Jo told them as Anne placed the plate in front of her. “Not unless the dishwasher breaks down or you feel like feeding the sheep again” Anne laughed “and if you intend on doing that again I’ll get the camera ready.” Jo had just finished describing the fun they had last visit when Kerry walked into the kitchen “good morning dear, usual for you?” Anne asked her.

Friday was a day for site seeing so Sue and Gwen wanted to do the fudge factory and the main street while Jo and Kerry just wanted to explore the art stores in town, they met back up at a small café for lunch.

“Why didn’t you tell us about John’s wandering hand problem, now I need to get my jeans cleaned” Sue said as the waiter came to take orders.

“Don’t tell me, you just had to try the fudge factory and met old desert fever John” the waiter said smiling at them, Sue’s face said more than her mouth.

“Luckily he’s fairly tame, a touch here and there never hurt anyone, some actually love being chatted up for once” said the waiter leaving them with menus and returning to the front to serve other people that had just entered.

“If I wanted to be touched up then I would at least have chosen someone much younger” Sue said craning her neck to see the waiter as he walked away. “How many kids do you have Sue?” asked Gwen “who’s talking kids I was just window shopping, can’t hurt can it?” Sue joked. They ordered lunch and drinks then sat around talking for a good hour, the waiter making sure they had ample chance to re-order drinks. The afternoon sun had a bite in it and the talk of a spa sounded so inviting they decided to head back after picking up some wine and cheeses from one of the local wineries.

The spa in Jo’s room was large enough for four people so they agreed that they could all get in without trouble, Kerry wasn’t actually told about the decision until Gwen and Sue knocked on the adjoining door to come in. If it had been only her and Jo then the pants would have been long gone but Sue and Gwen made it all different for her. Jo was her normal extrovert self, everything off and into the water, Sue and Gwen a little slower but the same basic end result. Kerry walked into the bathroom with her bathrobe around her body.

“Sorry but this is just too weird for me, the guys at work would be creaming themselves if they knew” Kerry said dropping the robe but keeping her pants on. Four girls sitting in a spa, or should that be three and three quarters, Kerry had another three months of RLT to go through before being certified for her SRS.

“When I came to work with you guys this was not an image that I ever dreamt of even in my wildest dreams” Kerry said lifting up her glass to toast.

“Well, when we first met you it wasn’t that obvious what you looked like underneath, love” said Sue in a cockney twang.

“And we had no plans of hopping into a spa with you either” said Gwen “so don’t feel too bad about us.” The glasses clicked and they all toasted “here’s to our long weekend” said Jo.

Gwen and Sue had gone back to their own room when Kerry finally got time to talk with Jo, “are you OK after hearing about Anne’s little surprise?” Jo looked at her, then at the bed then finally at Kerry, “not really but I have learnt to just hide what I feel and get on with it, why cry over something that may never change” Jo said.

“Is there no way that you can have a child, what about adoption or foster parents?” asked Kerry not really thinking about what she was saying.

“I have enquired about adopting but they have so few children and so many real couples that a single mother is not going to get a look in. The other problem is that I can’t really afford to support myself and a child to any great degree, sort of weighted against me isn’t it?” Jo replied feeling rather despondent at the end.

“I suppose so, unless they would look at two of us, there again what sort of parents would we make, 1.75 women and 25% of a man, great role models” Kerry laughed.

“Would you actually do that for me, our combined wage is good but individually it doesn’t add up to that much does it?” Jo asked not sure what Kerry was earning.

“Bill always tells us not to discuss our salaries but since you live with me I guess that makes you almost family, my salary is based on base plus commission for sales and that adds up to around $100k per year and you must be on nearly that” Kerry said waiting for Jo to confirm what she said.

Jo coughed as she heard what Kerry was on “you have to be joking, the other girls are on just over half of that rate, didn’t you get the same rate as a consultant?” Jo said.

“Not really, I got far more but I thought we all had the same base rate and hourly bonus” Kerry said understanding that Bill had at least two pay scales, males on one rate and females on the other. Jo was slightly annoyed but Kerry stopped her from going into Sue and Gwen’s room to tell them “it wouldn’t do any good for the others to know either” Kerry told her.

The discussion of adopting had been pushed aside and didn’t come back while they were away on holiday but it did come back one night as they sat watching a local TV show. Children being left at hospitals or church door steps, not overseas but right here in Australia, the mother never being heard from despite offers of help. Jo sat there crying silently as the report rolled around the country looking at the cost to the community and the need for solutions that allow parents to keep their children.

Kerry glanced over at Jo just in time to see her tears being wiped away, Kerry sat next to Jo and put that protective arm around her again. The sobs started and so did the tears, they flowed for many minutes as Jo emptied her emotions out like Kerry had never seen her do.

“I can’t even imagine what you are going through precious one, at least I have had my kids” Kerry said still wondering if anything could be done for Jo. Talking was hard afterwards since Jo had taken the report so hard, it had tapped right into her main hurt at not being able to get pregnant or even adopt.

“Is there anything we can do to adopt a child?” Kerry asked “you don’t really mean that do you?” Jo asked still looking down at her hands. Kerry thought about it for awhile, she had three adult kids and even a grandchild but she could see the pain that Jo was going through and she would do anything to make her happy.

“Lets talk to someone about the options, there has to be something we can do” Kerry said not really hopeful given her age and gender issue not to mention living with Jo for only a few months. Jo wrapped her arms around Kerry and hugged her tightly “for you I would do anything” Kerry said holding her head and looking onto her eyes.

Truth is that the number of adopted children each year is so small mainly due to the large number of abortions performed; this one fact hurt every infertile couple every time they got rejected. Even when a mother had decided to put their child up for adoption a third of them changed their minds after the birth of the child but before they handed the baby to the new couple. Couples that decided to adopt for whatever reason went through so much investigation and emotional cost while young kids were popping out babies just to get the $5,000 government baby bonus not really interested in bringing the child up correctly and leaving them with relatives after a short while.

The injustice was felt by Kerry and Jo but apart from overseas adoption the chance of adopting an Australian child was so small it was not worth putting any hope in it. Adoption agencies overseas had been tightened up as children for cash schemes got blocked by governments around the globe unless you happened to be a high profile actress that would bring lots of money with her to buy a baby then fly out of the country in her personal jet. Neither Jo nor Kerry had a personal jet let alone the amount of money that it would take to buy such a child if one could be found.

There was one life line in all of these discussions with the departments, the option to short term foster an older child may be possible. Jo had wanted a baby to keep but this may be an acceptable option she thought to herself, second best well not even second if the time was very short. Kerry had some idea of the grief it could cause them and let Jo know exactly what it could cost her emotionally having to give a child back after a year of bonding and caring for them. Back to parents that may have originally lost their child due to harm or drugs or lack of living facilities, back to parents that may not even keep them long term.

“I understand the cost but the cost of not trying is just as high to me” Jo stated letting Kerry know again that it was her hurt.

University exams came around at the end of the year and Kerry buried herself in the study each night trying to finish papers and cram for the exams. The entire course would be two years of part time studies at the rate Kerry was getting through them, it added onto her other qualifications so didn’t need all of the basic modules. Exams finished before the Christmas break and all books got put away for a good three months, uni students spent the time making money to get through the year or doing practical work as part of the courses but Kerry just needed a rest.

The RLT was now over twelve months and her psych, Anne, was ready to give her the clear light to proceed but Kerry had stalled when asked the last question.

“When would you like to make the final step?” Anne asked her only to see Kerry freeze and look suddenly very uncertain of where she was going. For nearly two years Anne had never seen so much as a doubt or wrong answer from Kerry, her focus had been so tight and her confidence had amazed Anne. Somehow the single word had caused a rush of thoughts that Kerry had not allowed to come to the surface at anytime during their sessions and now Anne could see something she had missed.

“Kerry, do you really want to have the op, you could just stay as you are?” Anne tried to tell her but Kerry was away with the fairies as they say. Her mind was doing laps between losing her manhood and never being able to father children again, the futility was that Paul had had a vasectomy twenty years ago let alone the complete testicle removal twelve months ago. The impact of giving the last approval to ridding the problem was no longer a simple matter, Kerry had no understanding of why she felt that way but she did.

“I need to talk this through with Jo can I come back next week?” Kerry asked Anne then quickly left the practice.

That night Jo sat and listened as Kerry tried to unpack her thoughts, none of them made any sense to Jo, they included making children, making mistakes, losing her nerve, but nothing that Jo could put a point to.

“One thing for certain, I don’t want to stay as I am” Kerry said, “the two options are backwards to Paul or forwards to total Kerry.” Jo was being very sensitive with Kerry “do you want to go back to being a male?” Jo asked, no response “do you want to become a medically certified woman then?”

Kerry looked at Jo with a frown on her face “if I stayed as Paul then we may get a child by adoption, you would love that wouldn’t you?” Kerry asked then waited for Jo to answer.

“So that’s what all this is about, you would give up being Kerry just for me to adopt” Jo said not expecting Kerry to answer, she had finally put a finger on the issue. Kerry looked at her with tears in her eyes “is that what you want precious one?” Jo held her hands as the tears flowed down both of their faces, for Jo it was a sign of the love Kerry had for her, for Kerry it a fear of missing out on her goal but still wanting to care for Jo.

“I could not live with Paul, he was so grumpy at times I would rather have Kerry any day” Jo said “and I know that means that kids may never come but I said when we started all this that if I had to look back on my life and had missed out on your love then I would be worse off.” It took a while for them to stop crying and hugging but eventually Jo said “OK when do we want this op?” Kerry’s smile starting to appear again.

Booking an operation in Thailand could be two to four weeks but recent news reports had made Kerry nervous about the quality of hospital procedures overseas even if the cost was significantly lower.

“I think we should look at other places before making a decision” Jo said “it’s not as if you are short of a few bob is it?” The next day Kerry made a call to Anne.

“All sorted now so I won’t need an appointment next week,” “not so fast Kerry, I need to go back a few steps so see you on Friday” Anne told her, this was not a request since Kerry had shown some real doubts and the forms had not been signed yet. Friday was a long day for Kerry, the appointment was after work and Jo had offered to come along with her, normally Anne would not have allowed it but at this stage of Kerry’s RLT she wanted to make sure everything was covered. Anne let them into her room and sat around the small coffee table as Kerry explained what it was all about, Jo put in her own observations and Anne asked several open questions to make sure she understood. Anne summarized what she had heard.

“This is all because you can’t get pregnant Jo and Kerry wants to protect you from hurt, is that right?” Both Jo and Kerry nodded “then the only problem is to find you two a child, I’ll sign the release for your surgery” Anne said.

Christmas was only two weeks away and they had drawn the short straws to cover the helpdesk while everyone else had a break, actually they had traded the break for an extra few days in Fiji when the trip came around. Searching for SRS surgeons in Australia wasn’t hard but getting references on them was proving harder than they had expected. By far the majority of people preferred Thailand without any real problems as long as you chose one of the three best guys, the price between $10,000 and $20,000 depending on depth, sensitivity and finish. Several offered great websites but no positive references could be found so it was back to the drawing board until next year.

The company phone system was VOIP so Bill had the phones set to be directed to the two laptop phones during certain support hours only and the company went on annual shutdown while the two girls covered for them. Christmas day was going to be just Kerry and Jo with the kids coming over after having dinner with Janet, not quite the family affair they wanted but things would get better. Jo got on well with Kerry’s children probably due to being closer to their age, the question of her living with their father who was becoming a woman didn’t seem worth getting into. It was an emotional time for everyone and even Janet spent time talking to Kerry on the phone rather than dropping in, the fact that Jo had moved in was a major blow to her sense of well being and she had not talked with Kerry for the last five months.

Gwen and Sue had planned a New Years eve party for their families and friends so Jo and Kerry got invited along, “just bring a plate or two and whatever you want to drink” said Sue over the phone. Swimming was available for those prepared to show off their bodies and the kids would spend at least five hours in the pool.

“Taking your bikini?” Jo asked, Kerry had not been swimming in the bikini due to the amount of bump she felt gave her away. “With my figure, you have to be joking” said Kerry. Jo threw something at her “oh please, give me a break.

Since moving in Jo had adopted a better diet habit thanks to the stricter diet and exercise regime that Kerry followed and had lost a good four kilo’s in the five months but still felt like her figure was fuller than she would like. Kerry had already been thinking about summer and had planned a wrap around sarong with some very short shorts and her bikini underneath but no swimming at this stage. Jo had both one and two piece bathers but would probably go with her feelings on the day as the temperature would be around 35C during the day and still 20+ at midnight. Mid afternoon and they had finished preparing dinner and nibbles, bought the wine and drinks and packed the car ready to go to Sue’s place.

There were around twenty people at the party before Kerry and Jo got there, most of them being family members for Sue and Gwen, a couple of others had come from work and some neighbors had come over. Only a few of the people had any inkling that Kerry was ever anything other than what she presented as, the mood was light and the kids did spend most of the night in the pool. At midnight Kerry had to suffer the obligatory kisses from everyone at the party including the people she had not even spoken to.

Kerry joked with Jo “I could get them back by whispering in their ears that I’m really a man” Jo looked at her “you could but why mess with their heads.”

“So what new year’s resolutions are you going to make?” Jo asked Kerry as they sat finishing their drinks “to be the best woman I can be and forget about the cost, what about you?” Jo had to think about her wish for the new year, she really wanted a baby and recent discussions had not made it any easier for her either emotionally or practically.

“I want to be a parent by the end of the year” Jo said looking into Kerry’s eyes. Kerry thought that her wish was going to be easier to stick to than Jo’s, the prognosis for adoption was very grim.

Work was slow during the break period and with reduced time they got all of the support work done without calling on Bill for help. They had time to talk about so many things and even planned some changes to the unit, the patio had been rebuilt with café blinds to enclose the entire area. One part of the patio had been left with just cement base for a table or outdoor oven but they had no plans so it was left empty.

Kerry suggested that a spa could be installed very easily so off they went to find one, it turned out to be just a matter of choosing the size and cost then it would be delivered over the back fence. The spa they chose was cedar lined with all of the pumps and pipes enclosed with just a single power point for easy placement, it came with the usual chemicals and solid cover to keep the heat in and built in lights and wine glass holders. With Christmas specials and a bit of negotiating it came in at just over $5,000 it fitted well into their budget and was installed, filled and working within five days.

“Let’s throw a party before you go in for surgery” said Jo “you can invite anyone that has helped you get this far as a way of thanking them.”

Kerry looked at her “we haven’t even chosen a surgeon yet let alone a date” Kerry said trying to remember where she had left the decision last year.

Somehow the whole SRS had become a bit of a non issue since Jo had moved in, her life had become quieter and safer and less focused on making the final change. Kerry thought about the “final frontier” the “quantum leap” or whatever else she could call it before speaking. “I guess I need to make some decisions don’t I?”

Jo had thought that Kerry had made her decision at Anne’s practice before Christmas but now she saw another crack in Kerry’s resolve.

“I think we need to talk about this again” said Jo, not sure what was going on in Kerry’s head, the body had made the jump but the mind had been lost in hyper space. Jo made a couple of drinks and sat down waiting for Kerry to come out onto the patio, Kerry was wearing her favorite sarong and bikini which only emphasized her body shape.

“Don’t look at me like that Jo” Kerry said picking up her drink “I must be having too many girl hormones I can’t seem to make a decision.” Jo laughed at the comment, Kerry was always very focused on her goal list that had hung in the home-office work area of the unit, it listed each stage of the project and almost at the bottom was SRS and it had not been crossed off or a date set to it. Almost like the Holy Grail it had been a target for Kerry but one that no longer had the drive in it, she had transitioned at work, her life was going good and everything seemed fine so why mess with it?

“The surgery will make you complete as a woman, isn’t that what you wanted from the start?” Jo asked her trying to pull Kerry out of her thoughts.

“Actually the option was to live as a woman and be accepted as one, and I seem to have reached that point already” Kerry said sliding back into the chair.

“OK cards on table time, why wouldn’t you do it, then why should you do it” Jo prompted Kerry, “then we see which side wins."

Kerry listed the pro’s and con’s for the argument then had to sit back, she had made no firm decision or any points that stood out as deal breakers. Jo was confused by the change in Kerry’s mind and could only sit there and wait for her to give more answers, it made no difference to her love of Kerry. It was this point that made the most impact on Kerry, their love seemed unrelated to what was between her legs, it was her heart and soul that touched Jo so deeply and vice versa. After about thirty minutes the discussion had gone nowhere as far as Jo could see but Kerry finally said “Dr A and in one month's time.”

“Hang on, where did that come from you were just saying there was no need for surgery and now you want it straight away” Jo said shaking her head. Kerry told her about how peaceful her life had become and that had clouded the issue but she could see that the SRS was another step to being fully the woman she had seen in the mirror years before.

By the middle of the month the date had been booked and Bill had given Kerry permission for extended leave for the two months, some of which would be work from home. February was always a slow month for sales and March dragged so Kerry would be covered by the other sales person.

The party was planned for Australia Day, 26th January, a public holiday and with temperatures in the high thirties the spa could be used all day and night. Jo and Kerry made a list of those that had impacted on her life, Lisa, Jill, Renee, Bill, the girls from the office, some family and friends from before that had maintained the connection through all of the transition. It would be a small affair and although Janet was invited Kerry knew that she would not attend given Jo’s presence.

Kerry booked a catering firm for the evening and had the back fence taken down to allow everyone to have a clear view of the fireworks. The strata property stretched a further ten metres past the fence line, a fact that became apparent when she had purchased the two units next door and the bank had done a property review. Guests arrived during the afternoon and sat around drinking or walked down to the river, some climbed into the spa or lay on the grass beyond the fence line. Around seven thirty Jo called them to all come inside or closer to where she stood.

“We just wanted to thank you for coming around and celebrating the day with us, not only is it a great national day but also the end of a stage in Kerry’s life. As most of you know it has not been an easy process to get to this point and Kerry wanted to thank you all for your help so here she is.”

Kerry stepped forward to the clapping of her friends “If I start to cry it’s because of all the hormones and not being soft or weak or girly like.” They laughed and at least one person said “sure we believe you” Kerry looked up at each one of them standing there with drinks in their hands to celebrate her next step.

“You guys have been so caring towards me I can’t start to let you know how much you have done to my esteem and emotional stability. Anne, you have been keeping close check on me for at least a year and know what each one of these people has done to help me get here, Lisa, you have helped me without knowing where I was going and Renee, you have helped me stay in clothes that feel great and look fantastic even when my body was not built right. Gwen, Sue and Rachael, you girls accepted me into the inner sanctum at work, the girls toilets, you took me out dancing and eating, to the theatre and even into your own homes, thanks. My family and friends that are here have been alongside me every step even when they had no idea where I was going to end up, thank you for staying close to me. Bill, what can I say about you that won’t get me fired, the first day you saw me as Kerry I had to scrape your tongue back into your head and hand feed you at dinner. You have been the best boss and trusted me with so much and given me far more grace than I ever expected thank you so much.”

Kerry turned around to find Jo’s hand and dragged her forward next to her, “precious one, you once said that to live life without living it to the fullest extent was a crime and you have certainly helped me to live this part of my life to the fullest. Jo has been like a little sister to me, she prompted me onwards whenever I stalled and stopped me when I wanted to run faster, she has held me when I have cried and cried with me when I have had nothing more to give. Jo, diamonds are formed from lumps of coal being put under extreme pressure and heat, living with me has only added to your beauty as a diamond in the making, you are truly precious to me.”

Kerry reached into her pocket and pulled out a small ring box, inside was a diamond ring with several sapphires around the central diamond, the yellow gold band glistening under the lights. Kerry took out the ring and lifted Jo’s hand “Jo, I love you more than anything else in the world and before our friends I declare my love for you” she pushed the ring onto Jo’s left hand ring finger that had been empty for so long. Jo was standing there stunned by what Kerry had just done she looked down at the ring and then at Kerry, they kissed as the guests clapped and whistled.

Kerry stopped and let Jo adjust her eyes before continuing, “next week I go into hospital to have the final stage of my transition, it will hurt and to some degree it will hurt emotionally but what makes it all worth doing is the knowledge that you guys are here when I get back. I promise that there will be no scary show and tell evenings or photos of anything other than scenic shots from Thailand and the hotel room. You have all helped me become the woman that you now accept as Kerry and that is the greatest gift you can give anyone, to allow them to become who they really are, thank you.”

Kerry spent the next hour just hugging people and getting plenty of hugs back, Jo kept showing off her ring and making sure the guests were looked after but it was Kerry that got to celebrate the process of becoming who she was.

I hope you have enjoyed my alternative release, please let me know what you feel.

Kerry