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Got through my first meeting, or
"I'm the boss, so stop sassing me" (this is a Working Girl blog) |
What a long day. I'm totally drained. Most everyone's gone already, but I'm hanging around for a bit, writing this blog and winding down. Nerves I suspect.
Well, my first meeting in my new company went better than I expected, or feared.
The project we were discussing was an extremely simple one, technically speaking - basically setting up a forms-driven workflow system and knowledgebase for our client's customer management reps. The consensus was that it may necessitate setting up a Lotus Notes/Domino database though someone said we might just need to set up a Sharepoint-based archive and q&a database.
But enough tech-speak.
As I said, the meeting went better than I expected. The girls were all cooperative and were gung ho over the project, as well as most of the guys. (Although some of the guys weren't really into the meeting, I can tell.)
Some of them were obviously being a bit subordinate, especially one of the guys that were, by reputation, one of the better business analysts. When he said he couldn't answer the question of one of the other guys, one of the girls said something like, "oh, please." To which he reacted to by saying that it's in his laptop in his cubicle.
After a short silence, I said that he is excused to go get his computer. I would normally not have the guts to say something like that, but I came prepared: This is pathetic, I know, but on my way to the office, I was practicing saying things like that in my car's rearview.
While he was getting his computer, to fill the silence, I complimented one of the girls for her cute outfit (a purplish long-sleeved henley over a nice flowery peasant skirt). The girl smiled shyly at me, and some of the guys complimented her as well. Anyway, some conversation got started about summer clothes, and how the weather had improved a lot, and about the upcoming summer months. I also mentioned to the girls, in passing, that I may need new clothes as I just hit my ideal weight range. One of the guys made a joke (good-naturedly, though) about too much girl-talk, and one of the girls gave him a raspberry.
Little did anyone know that I was so very nervous, especially when the guy came back. But the guy was a lot less disagreeable, and it was actually he who suggested Sharepoint might be sufficient for the work needed. From that point on, the meeting proceeded well enough. In fact, the other guys who were also being disagreeable were more respectful and had started calling me "Ma'am."
Anyway, we had a couple of hours of preliminary planning discussions and stuff, and split the sixteen people in the room into groups. I let them group themselves into two groups of girls and one group of guys (the remaining people made up the fourth group - which was me and three other guys). I put Mr. Personality as the team lead of the all-guy group.
I ended the little informal meeting with some trite line about how we need to work together. I said this while standing in front of that guy, trying to make a point that was so obvious no one could miss it. It seemed to work, though I wasn't sure how much authority I was projecting given how short I am (though to be fair, I had worn heels).
Anyway, after the meeting, I went to my computer in my office first to check my email (and let the girls finish up in the bathroom so I can go alone - boy, did I need a break after that pressure-laden meeting), and then invited everyone to Basil's for a pizza lunch on me (making sure to text my boss first, of course. She texted back okay, and that she wouldn't mind if we had a long lunch.).
We had a pleasant meal full of office gossip and IT-type shoptalk. One of the guys in my team remembered my chocoholic-ness and he ordered a mug of chocolate for me. It was actually either Ovaltine or Milo, but who cares - it was enough of a novelty that I was actually flattered.
One of the girls invited me to join them tomorrow afternoon to window-shop. I wanted to take them up on it but I'm still debating this with myself up to now - before today, my position as their boss wasn't so obvious. But familiarity breeds contempt, as they say. Should I risk it? Or am I over-thinking things again? It shouldn't be a big deal!
But shopping with friendly girlfriends was one of things I dreamed of before, after all, plus it's awkward to go out with my old office-friends from my previous job now. Besides, I think I need some new clothes: I think my clothes are a little tight on me now (Although, to be honest, I think I'm just inventing reasons. I had gained some much-needed pounds these past few days. I think I need to ease off on the chocolate otherwise I'm gonna overshoot my target weight.)
Wish I didn't over-think things too much, and quit being too overdramatic.
So... all in all, so far so good in the office. Mr. Personality actually passed by my office before going home, just to apologize about his attitude during the meeting.
Anyway, best to stop all this blogging foolishness and go home. Nite-nite, everyone.
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Comments
Sounds like
you have a handle on the situation. Getting that many independent people together, pulling the same way can be intimidationg, or like trying to herd cats. Congrats on getting them on the same page early. Sounds like things will go smoothly through the project. I am not sure dinner on you was a good idea....Maybe cause I'm cheap)...getting them together was a good thing though...brainstorming and free thinking is always a good thing early on. I would go slowly on the new wardrobe, one outfit at a time, just in case. Thats the way to really fit in instead of flaunting something. Everyone is on a budget and expect it. This also prevents jealousy. Keep it up, I think you've got it.
Go for it!
Well, you survived your first meeting, and it seemed to go OK. There's nothing unusual about nerves, and nobody mentioned anything untoward - you were accepted as "one of the girls" by all present.
You may be their boss / line manager inside the office, but in the organisations I've worked for at least, everyone's equal when it comes to socialising. So go ahead, accept the invite to go window shopping. As the previous commenter said, restrict yourself when it actually comes to buying - treat it more like a research mission - finding out what's available, what's acceptable, what would look OK on you, etc.
That way, when it comes to shopping for real, you'll have more of an idea of what kind of things to get.
-oOo-
Interesting that both Notes and Sharepoint are being considered - in the organisation where I work, we currently use Notes for email plus Notes databases for document libraries etc.; but corporate IT want to move us onto an Outlook / Sharepoint (MOSS 2007) platform. They're still undecided about how to convert the document libraries, as their preferred option of converting everything to PDF wouldn't wash with our users (besides taking up double the amount of storage space - half for the editable originals, half for the PDFs.
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Hmmm
... personally I would wait a bit on the more intimate stuff like shopping together until you are more established and get to know the staff's competencies and work ethic. Lunches, okay, but this is not Korea, where the boss takes out there team on the social stuff after work. When it comes down to it, you have to be the boss - especially if you are the manager and not say just a project lead. Being a project lead can be more informal. The awkwardness comes at review time and having to lay down discipline.
A boss at a party, for example, is never really a party, it gets a little awkward.
Kim
Team-Building
...is somewhere between an art and a science. Barriers have to be broken, mutual trust established, common goals accepted.
A boss who treats employees as equals can end up quite well-respected, and even championed by a group. Things break down when you fail to enforce discipline in ways that negatively affect the other employees in the group. As long as you look after the group's interest as a whole, you stand a chance of being one of those rare bosses who is both a joy to work for, and outrageously successful in bringing in projects on time and under budget.
Nooooo.. Not...
sharepoint! EVIL...
Just kidding. It is a nice toy, and in many situations it can do the job. That said, if it's not a short term need, it's likely to have long term issues (retention policy; etc.) that it's just not equipped to handle. Notes/Domino... So many orgs are moving away from that platform. No, I'll not suggest the platform of the company I work for. That'd be self serving, and I really don't know your specs - or, more importantly, the underlying business needs.
Sounds like you've a nice group of people. As to whether you can "socialize" with your team. A lot depends on your personal style of management. Some have no problems being a "buddy" in the social setting, yet being the boss when at work - and keeping both their and their workers straight. This takes a wee bit of confidence. :-) I suspect you want to be approachable, so directly rejecting their invitation might not be the best thing. If you can pull it off - the boss yet friend thing - go for it.
Personally, I decided I prefer to NOT be the manager. Been there, done that. Didn't enjoy it. But, yeah, I still can do the job, when I have to - and have the experience to help others along. (Hmmm. Perhaps that's why my boss uses me as a sounding board. Hadn't thought of it that way. Someone he can talk something trough without worry that it'll go anywhere or that I'll use it to try to climb over his back. Well, never mind that.)
Best of luck with this. I can only hope that my transition at work is as smooth!!!
Annette
Purely on a business level.
I think you walked the tightrope quite well. To make it clearly known that you are the Boss, while later deflating any anger by the invite on you? Perfect management technique.
Socializing with coworkers afterward?
NOT!
Well, that's the way I was taught anyway.
You have in one stroke, one meeting, established yourself as Alpha-Wolf. Do not let the lure of social interaction distract you from that. Be friendly, approachable, but you cannot ever be their equal because quite simply, you aren't.
What you are is their Commander, their Boss. You can't forget that because you can bet they won't. If you show weakness, they will take advantage of it. Be clear and fair and a bit distant if you want them to respect you, even if if doesn't make you any friends.
To do otherwise is unfair to workers who may be good but don't get along with you.
As tempting as it is to find friends in the workplace, in my experience, in a corporate environment, it is not a good idea.
Find friends elsewhere, entirely aside from work. Hey, you seem to have gotten past the transition and everything and pretty much have free ride on that level, but getting too close to your workmates is never, ever a good idea, no matter what.
Abby
It was the suit
wot dunnit! Don't over fraternise it can undermine you. As for herding cats - you don't, you lead them (it's easier if you have some feline comestibles with you).
Anyway, well done.
Angharad
Angharad