Things became somewhat muddled for me after that. I remember crying–a lot. Ms Jones tried to comfort me, but my brain was overloading with frightening thoughts of what my parents might be experiencing...

The Chosen
By

Susan Brown

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Chapter 4

Previously...

‘Rebecca.’

‘Yes, Helena.’

‘Did you sleep well?’

‘Yes, I suppose I was tired and didn’t realise it.’

‘You have a visitor, will you see her?’

‘Yes.’ I said, thinking that it was probably Bethany, all bubbly and girlie.

The door slid open and my eyes opened wide with surprise on discovering my visitor to be the principal, Amanda Jones.

‘Don’t get up, Rebecca,’ she said as she came over and sat beside me.

‘I understand you’ve been trying to reach your parents?’

‘Yes. Helena hasn’t had much luck yet.’

She looked at me with compassion in her eyes and I wondered–with more than a little dread–what was going on. She grasped my hands gently; ‘I have been informed by Central Government that the borders of India have been closed and that our embassy is under siege. All messages and communications are being blocked and the situation is extremely tense. There have been strong protests by our government, but as such, appear to have fallen on deaf ears. Other embassies have been similarly affected, especially the U.S of A & C where there have been reports of gunfire. I don’t know what will happen, Rebecca, but as soon as we receive any news, you will be told.’

I stared at her with horror. All my worst nightmares were happening and there was nothing I could do about it. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and, in seconds, I was being embraced by the warm, soft arms of the principal.

And now the story continues…

Things became somewhat muddled for me after that. I remember crying–a lot. Ms Jones tried to comfort me, but my brain was overloading with frightening thoughts of what my parents might be experiencing. Here I was, thousands of miles from them and unable to do anything about the situation. I felt myself being wound up like the spring in an old-fashioned clock, so I must have been in a bad way. Moments later, I felt a hiss and pressure against my neck and everything went blank.

When I awoke, I was in bed and the lights were dimmed down. I felt very disorientated, thinking initially that I was in my old room back at the boys’ school. Then I felt the silky fabric of the nightdress against my hairless skin and it all came back to me. Feeling down below confirmed it for me as I felt the empty sac where once my testicles had been. It all came flooding back; my feminisation, moving school, my parents…

I must admit that the thought of Mummy and Dada in India, under siege–maybe fighting for their very lives–made me want to break down again; but I had taught by my parents to be strong and not to give in where there was hope. So for their sake as well as my own, I tried to stifle any hopeless or defeatist feelings that even now were bubbling to the surface.

I moved in my bed and stretched and the lights came up a bit to half strength.

‘Rebecca, how are you feeling, dear?’ The ’puter screen had lit up.

‘Hello, Helena, I feel rather tired, I suppose and still very worried; any news?’

‘No, honey; the Principal is trying her best to find out the position but it appears that all signals, including ’puter coms are being blocked.

‘What time is it?’

‘Twenty-two hundred, are you hungry?’

‘No, but I’m thirsty though.’

‘Would you like to order a bedtime drink?’

‘Hot chocolate, please?’

The drink came quickly and I got up and went over to the serving hatch to fetch it. There were also three pills in a paper cup and some pink fluid in a glass, next to my hot drink. I looked at the medications and grimaced.

‘Helena, do I have to take this stuff?’

‘Yes dear, whether you eat or not, you must take what is prescribed for you; it’s for your own good.’

‘Is it?’ I whispered to myself, as I picked up the pills and washed them down with the strawberry flavoured medicine.

‘What’s in the pills and medicine, Helena?’

‘Things to help accelerate your treatment.’

‘How long will it take for me to be fully changed?’

‘It depends on the individual; for some it takes only a few months for others, up to a year unless treatment is accelerated.’

I walked across the room, my nightdress sliding across my skin and giving me pleasurable goose bumps and sat in one of the deep padded chairs. I stared at the wall vid, which was showing Sidney Opera House, lit up at night, but my mind was on other things.

Sipping my drink, trying to take my mind off thoughts about my parents, I continued quizzing Helena for information. ‘What do you mean by accelerated treatment?’

‘That will be covered in your lessons, so you don’t need to worry about that, at the moment.’

‘How is David?’

‘Davina is doing fine and you should see her tomorrow.’

‘Davina?’

‘Yes, it is a pretty name and it suits her.’

‘Did he… choose it?’

‘Yes, she did. I think that she is now feeling a bit better about things and I am sure that she is happier now. For some girls, it’s quite difficult to go through all of this and that is why we try and help wherever we can.’

‘David, I mean Davina was very upset about being changed.’

‘I know, but after going through some things with the doctors and her personal councillor, she felt a little better.’

I sat staring at the Opera House for a few moments, it was a live vid and |I could see boat’s lights slowly cross the harbour, but my thoughts were not on the vid but on Davina, Bethany, myself and above all my parents.

I went over to my uPad and sent my parents an email; perhaps that might get through when other forms of communication wouldn’t. I made sure that it was encrypted just in case. We were told that we had privacy, but you never know–

Hi Mummy and Dada,

I am very concerned about you as I have heard that you are under siege. Please let me know that you are all right soon as I am so worried about you.

I am trying to get used to things here, but am still finding it hard to feel part of this and it is difficult to get excited about being a girl with all that is happening to you. My friend Tom, who is now Bethany just loves it and can’t wait to be a fully functioning girl and be some sort of baby machine when she can find a man who would have her. At our age, I think that we are too young to think about marrying , having babies and stuff like that. The thought that I might actually get pregnant one day fills me with alarm. My other friend David is very unhappy and I wonder how he is going to survive in a place like this.

Far my part, as you know, I never wanted this but am trying hard to make the best of it. I do wonder about things though. The Principal says that we are part of Project Phoenix but was vague about what it was. Do you know anything about it as I am worried that we are some sort of lab rats, testing different treatments until they come up with the right mix to allow us to give birth to girls.

Anyway, I had better go now. Please, please, please, contact me as soon as possible.

I love you both so much and miss you terribly.

All my love

Rebecca
XXXXXXX

I finished my drink and suddenly felt quite tired. I wanted to ask Helena some more questions but couldn’t really be bothered. I wondered if there was something in the drink or the medication that made me feel that way but I soon found myself in bed again and fell asleep almost immediately.

*~*

I awoke the next morning to a gentle chiming coming from the ’puter.

‘Good morning, Rebecca,’

‘Morning, Helena.’ I said as I sat up stretched and yawned.

‘It’s eight fifteen and must to go to breakfast soon. Lessons commence at nine forty-five.’

‘Any news?’

‘About your parents, no, not yet, but as soon as we know, you will be informed. You need to try to take your mind off your worries a bit, so I suggest that you just carry on as normal.’

‘If you say so,’ I said, far from convinced.

I got up, slipped my nightdress off and put it down the chute and then went into the shower room. I put the shower cycle on morning wakeup and was soon being battered by cold and hot water alternating–then after the soap, rinse and dry cycles I stepped out of the shower feeling more awake than when I went in.

I went over to the long mirror and looked at myself, scratching a nipple that felt a bit ticklish for some reason. I didn’t know if I would be ‘instant girl,’ and needed confirmation that I was still–notionally anyway–a boy. After the medication that I had taken, I sort of dreaded finding some confirmation that I was bursting out all over into girlhood, but I thought that I looked the same as yesterday.

I dressed in my uniform of pink and blue check knee-length skirt, a white blouse with a collar, and neckerchief of the same check as the skirt. I took three goes at doing the neckerchief to get it right and hoped that I would get better at it soon. Then put on my white knee high socks and black low heeled shoes. After brushing my hair that somehow seemed a bit longer and somewhat softer than yesterday, I stood back and looked at myself. I thought that I looked rather pretty.

I stopped at that thought, wondering where it had come from. Was I getting to accept all this too easily and why wasn’t I thinking more about Mummy and Dada?

Shaking my head to rid myself of those negative thoughts, I was just about to go when Helena spoke up.

‘Rebecca, your friends Bethany and Davina are at the door and ask if they may come in?’

‘Of course.’ I replied, checking my reflection in the mirror and straightening my skirt.

The door slid open and I turned to greet them. ‘Hi guys, how are you?’ I was observing Davina as I spoke and wondered how he, I mean she was feeling after yesterday.

‘Fine thanks,’ said Davina with a grin that was more like her old self–when she was a he, that is–‘sorry for being such a baby about things, I’m feeling much better now.’

Judging by the smile on her face and the way she looked, she certainly seemed better. Perhaps she had had a change of heart or something? Anyway I wasn’t going to analyse it now.

‘Sorry to hear about your parents,’ said Bethany, coming over and giving me a hug. Soon it was a three way hug as Davina joined in. I nearly got a bit tearful at that, but seemed to pull myself together like a strong girl should. I did notice as we embraced that they both smelt rather nice.

I stepped back and looked at them.

‘Are you both wearing perfume?’ I asked.

‘Yes,’ said Davina, ‘Mine is called ‘Misty Morning’.’

‘Mmm, and mine is called ‘Enchantment’, dreamy fragrance, isn’t it?’

‘Very nice.’ I said as I went over to my dresser and had a look at what I should try. I wasn’t going to be the odd one out!

I soon found a perfume that seemed ‘me’ and I spritzed myself in ‘Contentment,’ strange name but it smelt lovely.

We joined the other girls in the corridor that led to the dining room and began chatting away, nineteen to the dozen. At one point, I sort of stopped and wondered why I felt so contented, when yesterday I had been more than a tad unhappy and also, I wondered briefly why I wasn’t as upset about my parents. Then, realising that I was making the most of my situation and not worrying about things that were totally out of my control, I just shrugged and continued to the dining room, sitting in the same seat as yesterday.

I ordered some porridge and like yesterday, I had three pills and some medicine to take, like the others. This time, I was content to take the medication, realising that it must be doing me some good–otherwise why would I be given it?

In next to no time we were talking animatedly about things that I would never have dreamed of discussing as a boy, like clothes, makeup and when we would finally be changed into full girls; how we would marry and hopefully have some children. I was pleased that Davina appeared to be as enthusiastic about girlhood as any of us. She had pretty eyes, I noticed and the pupils looked quite large. I wondered for the moment why that would be and then dismissed it as my being silly; but it was really nice to see Davina happy at last.

My mini uPad went off so I took it out of my shoulder bag. There was a message on the screen.

‘Rebecca, please return to your room.’

‘I have to go, girls.’ They all looked up, smiled and waved and then carried on with their conversation.

I was soon back in my room, wondering what was happening and why I was asked to return here. I did wonder if it had something to do with my parents. Perhaps there was some news–

‘Hello, Rebecca, your personal counsellor will be here shortly.’

‘Why do I need to see her?’

‘She will explain, dear.’

‘Is there any news about my parents yet?’

There was a brief pause.

‘No, I have checked and there is still no news coming out. We do know that the embassy is still under siege as we have managed to get links through to the Swedish embassy who, as yet have not been targeted. When we have more information, I will be sure to let you know.’

‘Thanks, Helena.’

‘You are welcome…your personal counsellor is outside, can she enter?’

‘Yes please,’ I said turning to the door as it slid silently open.

A woman walked in dressed in the same style as the Principal, a cream coloured business suit with a tailored jacket and skirt, white silk blouse, black stockings and black heels. She was, I would say about thirty to thirty five with long, dark platted hair and a pleasant smile on her pretty dark face. I would say that she was Afro-Caribbean in looks and her lovely chocolate skin was flawless.

‘Hello, Rebecca,’ she said approaching me and giving me a gentle hug. ‘I’m Juliette Stevens and I am, for my sins, your personal counsellor.’

‘Erm, hello Ms Stevens…’

‘…Juliette, please, we are all friends here and we prefer first names, it’s so much less formal, don’t you think? Shall we sit down and then we can have a chat.’

We both sat in deep leather chairs facing each other. I didn’t know what to say, so left it for Juliette to start.

‘Shall we have a drink first? Decaf for me, Helena, usual strength; Rebecca?’

‘Zinga please, Helena.’

Soon we were sipping our drinks and Juliette began explaining the reason for her visit. ‘It’s nothing bad, I have ten girls in this year who are my responsibility and you are one of them. As you are going through a few problems regarding your parents, I thought that I should see you first.’

I drank some more Zinga as Juliette in her pleasant, soothing voice continued. ‘How do you feel about your parents, Rebecca?’

‘What d’you mean?’

‘Are you worried about them?’

‘Yes, of course I am–very worried–it’s not knowing what’s happened to them and whether they’re safe and well.’

‘I understand, honey, it must be very hard. How do you feel about being here?’

I yawned, feeling a bit tired. I took another sip of my drink, for some reason I was quite thirsty, as I considered my reply.

‘Sorry for yawning. Erm, well it’s very nice and people have been really good to me. It’s all new though and I am finding it a bit hard to get used to all this.’ I waved vaguely at my school uniform and then the room in general.

‘That’s understandable, Rebecca, it’s very hard for some people but easier for others.’

‘Like Bethany?’

‘Yes, Bethany is one of the lucky ones. As you know, she has always wanted to be a girl, but of course you haven’t.’

‘No, that’s true. I think Davina is happier about it now, she was very upset yesterday.’

‘Yes she was but she has changed her view, which is nice as she will assimilate nicely now.’

I fleetingly wondered what she meant by “assimilate” but she carried on speaking. To be honest I was feeling very tired by now.

‘Sorry,’ I yawned, ‘you said something?’

‘Yes, I said that you do look rather tired. I think that things have caught up with you. It might be a good idea to go to bed for a while.’

‘What about lessons?’ I asked blearily.

‘You are excused lessons today due to your personal problems. Look, you had better put on your nightie and pop into bed. I’ll wait out here.’

I stood up and sort of stumbled over to the wardrobe. Somehow I got out of my uniform and put on my short pink nightie and returned into the bedroom. Juliette was still sitting on her chair sipping her drink and looking at her mini uPad as I went to the bed and sat down heavily.

She looked up and smiled.

‘Ready? That’s good. In to bed then and I’ll stay with you until you are settled.

I slipped between the cool cotton sheets and rested my head on the soft pillow. I was very relaxed and closed my eyes. I sensed that Juliette had sat down beside me and then I felt the cool touch of her hand on mine.

‘Is that better, Rebecca?’ she asked softly.

‘Mmm.’ I replied, feeling nice and rather floppy.

‘Good, so tell me how you feel about the school?’

I didn’t remember replying and must have fallen asleep, as I woke up some time later with a slight headache but feeling wonderfully relaxed. I enjoyed the sensuous feeling of my nightdress as it caressed my body under the warm covers.

I felt refreshed and wanted to get up, so I jumped out of bed.

‘Helena, what time is it?’

‘Eight fifteen, Rebecca. You must have a shower and put on your uniform because breakfast is in forty minutes.’

‘Any news about my parents?’

‘Talks have recommenced between the respective governments and things should hopefully be sorted out soon.’

‘That is good news,’ I exclaimed happily as I bounced out of bed, took off my nightie and put it down the chute. Then I had an invigorating shower that helped rid me of my slight headache. It did not take me long to put on my uniform and I even managed to tie my neckerchief the first time. Things were certainly looking up!

I brushed my hair, noticing how long it had got and then as I scratched my sensitive nipples distractedly. I looked at my face and in particular, my eyes, noticing how dilated my pupils were. I shrugged, discounting it as other things came to mind. It was strange that I had slept so long, I must have been in a bad way yesterday, I thought.

As soon as I was ready, I left my room. Outside were a smiling Bethany and Davina; I could smell their perfume as I joined them. ‘Oh, I am a silly girl,’ I exclaimed, ‘I forgot to put any scent on. You go on ahead and I’ll catch you up.’

I returned to my room and opened to the dresser. Picking up the perfume bottle, I spritzed myself, breathing in the heady fragrance and then after giving my hair another quick brush, I felt ready for the world.

As I headed towards the dining room I wondered what would be happening today and how much further down the road to femininity I would proceed. I didn’t wonder about the lost hours, my dilated pupils, my euphoria, the acceptance of my situation or the fact that I still hadn’t spoken to my parents.

Perhaps I should have?

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To be continued…

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My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.