I thought back to just a month ago, it seemed longer somehow. Anyway it was just after my twelfth birthday…

The Chosen
By

Susan Brown

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Chapter 1
 

As I sat in Matron’s office, I wondered how my best friend, Adrian Metcalf, was getting on in the school sanatorium next door.

I was wearing one of those paper hospital gowns that did up at the back and a pair of paper underpants for my modesty.

I thought back to just a month ago, it seemed longer somehow. Anyway it was just after my twelfth birthday…

We were sitting in the classroom, seventeen boys including Adrian and me and we were bored. The school–which was a good one, boasted a state of the art lab which was the pride of the school. Being a public school and very popular, it was pretty rich, so they could afford the best and that included facilities, equipment and staff. Overdean was a boys’ school and a girls’ one too, but not mixed. I know that sounds strange, but it was strange times, to say the least. The boys’ and the girls’ schools shared some of the facilities but were kept separate unless there were combined events like the year-end dance.

Adrian and I were playing hangman on the back of an exercise book when the door opened. We all stood up as Miss Howard came in and swept to the front of the class. At about thirty five years old, she still looked quite pretty and I know that a few of the boys quite fancied her…

‘Right, sit down, boys.’

There was a lot of scraping of chairs as we all sat down and waited for her to begin.

‘Okay, I know that you should be doing double maths now and I also know how much you enjoy that.’

There were general groans at that and she smiled and then continued.

‘However, we have an important milestone to talk about today and I am the mistress designated to explain everything to you. You are all around twelve years old and it’s time that you heard the full facts of the disaster that befell the world twenty years ago in 2012. You all know something about what happened then and the fact that some males have to transform into females and make sacrifices for the good of the world, but you haven’t been told the full facts yet. It is now time to give you the information you need to know.’

We sat up at that. We knew some things of course, but not everything. The fact that some of us might be changed into girls was on the back of most of our minds occasionally but people didn’t talk about it much and to be truthful when you are a kid with lots of things happening, it was something we didn’t want to dwell on and of course, like death, it is never going to happen to you and you will live forever. But over the next few minutes, we learned more than we wanted to about the virus.

‘I know that it’s old ground for most of you but it helps to go over the facts. It started as a simple virus. The only strange thing about it was that it only affected women. It was just like a cold, with runny noses, a cough and things like that. I was fifteen when I had it and I must say it didn’t really make me feel very ill and I was over it in about four days and thought nothing of it. Then gradually reports came in that something strange was happening–only boys were being born. All women who were due to have baby girls either miscarried or had still births. It wasn’t just this country; all around the world there were reports of this virus and its terrible consequences.’

I looked at Adrian; he was quite white but looked less upset than I thought he would. I suppose I knew a bit more than most of the boys as my parents were ambassadors to India, well my mum was ambassador , but my dad was head of the resident staff and that made him very important too. I hadn’t seen them in two years and I missed them, but my attention was drawn back to the teacher…

‘Since then, no female child has been born–anywhere. It was nothing less than a disaster for mankind. Without women being born, there would be no babies. Something had to be done as the world without women meant that our species would simply die out and in a relatively short space of time. There were many meetings, national and international. Countless discussions were held as to how this awful calamity could be dealt with. Effectively we had a limited number of years to sort out the problem before the whole of mankind would just become extinct. Of course there were rows and arguments. One country would blame another for the onset of this disaster and also many thought that it was a man made virus gone terribly wrong or worse still, some sort of perverted germ warfare. All clear so far?’

We all nodded and just sat there enthralled, realising how personal this was going to be for some of us.

‘Ever since, there has been a quest in the scientific community to try to find out what the cause of this terrible affliction was, and to find a cure. To date, no cure has been found. Only humans have this problem, all other species are unaffected.

‘In the end, one eminent scientist stood up in the UN about two years later and told the representatives of the world that he and some of his colleagues had a possible way around the terrible dilemma that the world faced. For some time, experiments had been carried out to assist the transgender community. Many people felt that they lived in the wrong body, some were women but the majority that had come forward were men, trying to physically be the women that they felt they were mentally. Scientists had been playing around with a cocktail of drugs to try to help these people and had come up with, almost by accident, a combination of drugs and a treatment that would, in time, change the very structure of the body from male to female and vice versa.’

There was a murmur around the room and Adrian grabbed my hand. We looked at each other and we kind of knew what was coming next.

‘Settle down…right, I realise that you know some of this but please hear me out. At the time, the process had only been used on chimps. I hate the idea of animal experimentation but there you are, they had done it. Plans were put I place to use the worlds considerable scientific community in perfecting the drugs and treatment, making sure that it was safe for humans; this took three years, but eventually, a number of people from the transgendered community volunteered to test the treatment and to cut a long story short, it was successful and the drugs were actually quite cheap to produce–for once. The leaders of the world went into session after session to try to hammer out a united approach as to how to deal with the fact that we now had the means to change males into females. They could not decide on a united approach and regretfully, some countries used strong arm methods to ensure that their population survived. One sad fact is that the males that were transformed into fully functioning women still could not produce female children. The hope is that someday, somewhere a female child would be born and we might gain knowledge that would allow us to have girls born in the world again.’

A hand went up,

‘Yes, Gordon.’

‘Sorry, Miss, but what has this to do with us?’

Gordon was a bit thick if he didn’t realise exactly what it had to do with us!

She looked at him and smiled sadly.

‘I was coming to that bit and I’m sorry that this has been long winded, but you need to know all the facts now that you are old enough to understand them. The English government, together with the Welsh, Scottish and Irish ones had agreed on a unified course of action. You must understand that if we did nothing, then our population would die out. For some it is unfair, for others it is something that they desire, but the fact is that some of you here in this room today will have to be changed into girls and the process will start on those selected, in about a month’s time.’

There was a lot of noise, close to pandemonium for a few minutes and Miss Howard allowed us to let off steam. Adrian and I said nothing and just kept holding hands and I suppose we were in shock. It might seem strange for those who did not belong to our culture that boys showed signs of affection like this and we were not the only ones to be either holding hands or hugging.

The truth is that our culture was vastly different from the strict gender stereotypes of past years. It was not seen as anything strange for people of the same sex to show love or affection for one another. I had never questioned it as I knew nothing different. Now I had been told of the facts about all those girls once being boys and more specific, when it happens, I could understand why such gender specific barriers were now more or less redundant. What was the point of prejudice when the boy next to you could turn into a girl one day?

Things quietened down after some of the more hot headed boys calmed down a bit. I think that we were all upset and more than one of the boys had been crying. I think that I was in shock at the news that the dreaded day was very near and something that would affect us or some of us anyway, very personally. I put my hand up.

‘Okay, boys, I know that it’s hard…yes, John?’

‘Don’t we have any say in this? Can we choose not to be involved?’

‘No John. It was decided early on that this was one decision that must be held in the hands of government. The way it goes is that at least forty percent of you will be changed into girls–that is the minimum requirement to ensure the future. The gender change team will see each of you individually and there will be some boys who will be happy to change; those who feel that they are trapped in the wrong body for instance–some of you may be surprised that a lot of people who have transitioned, did so willingly. Some of you cannot become girls because of medical reasons; for example, you may have started puberty; but we will go into that at another time when your assessment is carried out. As I was saying, transitions will take place in a months’ time. You are being told this information now because we know that it will impact dramatically on your family life and you will have to prepare for the possibility that you may be chosen. For the next month, lessons will be altered as and when necessary to accommodate various things that need to be done prior to transition. For example, we need to carry out extensive psychological tests to ensure that the ones that are chosen are able cope with the trauma and changes to them.’

She went on for a while longer before we were allowed to go, but the gist of it was that we had no say in whether we would be chosen or not and there was no way out of it.

We were all in shock after this. Being in a boarding school was like living in a bubble. The world outside sort of passed us by and we didn’t take much notice of things going on outside our rather closed community. The vidicasts and news that we did receive from the outside world, rarely mentioned this gender problem and the consequences and if it did, it was glossed over. Our computer news network also kept very quiet about things too. On reflection, the media must have been heavily censored on this issue; I presume that this was to prevent the panics and riots that other countries had experienced.

Puzzling things and events seemed to fall in place with my new found knowledge. The fact that a large number of boys went to other schools or were transferred after the age of twelve or thirteen, for example. We had been told that some children were moved because they needed special tuition or other reasons even less convincing, but I wasn’t sure that the reasons were all that true.

I had spoken to my dad that night.

After minor and inconsequential things, I told him about it. He kept quiet until I had finished.

‘I’m sorry son; we could have told you before. You knew that at some time, you and the other boys would be up for selection; every boy in the country has to go through this. I am surprised though, as I thought that thirteen was the age they were doing this.’

‘You could have told me when, Dad, it was a shock, you know.’

‘Well, to be fair we weren’t sure ourselves. As I say the authorities keep changing the age of selection to see if a different age might give a better result. They are still looking for the Holy Grail–a girl being born again. When this all started, they tried adults and that was a disaster as the older you get, the less chances of success. They then tried older children; they kept having problems there too. It boiled down to the fact that the boy had to be pre-pubescent for it to work successfully and only then after some surgery.’

‘Surgery? She never mentioned that only something about pills and treatment.’

‘The treatment involves pills and also surgery, but you shouldn’t worry about that now. You have sixty percent chance of not being chosen.’

I shelved the thought of surgery; I didn’t want to know, unless I had to. But the though made me feel a bit sick. I changed the subject.

‘What happened to the older people who were given the pills?’

‘It just didn’t work. Oh some of them had more effeminate bodies and stopped shaving, stuff like that; but those that wanted it, could be reverse treated by being given the female to male version of the pill, which was more effective up to a point. Strangely enough, seventy percent liked the way they were and didn’t try to change back. I know all this as I was on an all party committee concerned with the transition process at the time that this was happening.’

‘So if I am chosen and it didn’t work, I could change back again?’

There was a pause.

‘Dad?’

‘I wish I was with you John and I know your mum is very upset that we can’t be with you too. Look, I suppose I will have to tell you, but don’t tell Adrian or any of your other friends. It’s up to their parents and the staff to tell them all this. Coming from you it could be harmful.’

‘What Dad?’

‘Now that they have perfected the treatment, there is no turning back. It’s the surgery aspect; what gets taken away cannot be altered as it’s no longer there.’

‘What gets taken away Dad?’

I know I said that I didn’t want to hear it, but I know that I would have sleepless nights wondering what terrible things that could be done to my body.

There was another pause.

‘They remove your testicles. They go anyway eventually with the pills, but it was found that the treatment was more effective if there were no testicles present before the pills were taken. The authorities agonised over this for ages. You have to realise that they needed to be able to transform boys into girls otherwise there would be no future for anyone and that alone was a major moral and ethical dilemma. Eventually, there were no other options open to them. Then it was found that removing the testicles prior to the rest of the treatment made things a lot easier for the children and went a great way to ease their transition. The way that the change is done now in this country is as humane as it can be under the circumstances. Other countries I am sorry to say are not quite so sympathetic to the needs of the child.’

So here I was sitting outside the San in a thin chilly garment, waiting for the final medical. I had passed the psych tests, though passed is probably the wrong word for it; so had Adrian. The final examination and medical would decide my future for ever. Last week they had made a pin cushion of me when they took blood, urine and yucky stools from me. The results were in evidently in.

Quite a few of the boys were eliminated from the change as they had started puberty, had medical problems or didn’t have the correct psychological profile.

I had lain awake a few nights imagining being a girl. It was hard as I was a boy and hadn’t had any true contact with any girls. Let’s face it, with no girls around under the age of twelve I would be hard pressed to have any experience with girls. Being in an all boys school meant that I didn’t even know any transgendered girls, of course. I had no real desire to be a girl. I had nothing against them but I was a boy and I liked boys things…

The door opened and Adrian came out, he was dressed in his school uniform again.

‘Hi Aid, how did it go?’

‘I won’t be chosen,’ he said. ‘I’m marginally diabetic and though they can treat it and cure it, they won’t take a chance in my being picked.’

I gave him a hug.

‘That’s good; not about the diabetes, but that you won’t be picked.’

‘Yes, I suppose so.’

I looked at him with a frown.

‘Are you sad; did you want to be chosen?’

‘I wouldn’t have minded.’

‘Oh, right, well I’m sorry then. Did you tell the doctor that?’

‘Mmm.’

‘What did she say?’

‘That, if I still felt that way when they cure the diabetes, then I could try the transgender route. She said that I could have some pills to stop me having male puberty, if I have yet more psych tests and evaluations, that is.’

‘So eventually you could be a woman?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well then, it’s not too bad is it?’

‘I suppose, it’s just that I had raised my hopes and now I’ll have to wait.’

‘You never told me about you wanting to be a girl.’

‘I know; I thought that you might think that I was silly.’

‘No way; you’re my friend and friends stick together. Have you ever worn girls’ things?’

‘I have few things that I ordered off the net in my room, a few dresses, skirts, blouses, nighties and under things, but I haven’t got much.’

‘Maybe you’ll show me, some time?’

‘Okay.’

We had another hug and broke off when the door opened. ‘John, we’re ready for you.’

‘Okay, Matron.’ I gave Adrian another hug and then followed Matron.

‘Good luck, John.’

I was examined, poked, prodded, did some strenuous tests on a treadmill and had more examinations which included what they called a digital examination and that made my eyes water a bit. There were three doctors there–all female–together with matron and after they had finished with their torture, I was told to change back into my school uniform while they discussed the results. I went into the changing room, stripped off the paper gown and then put on my school uniform shirt, trousers and blazer. After putting on my socks and shoes, I went back into the Sanatorium and they were all sitting around a desk. Matron looked up and smiled.

‘Come and sit down John.’

I did as she asked, trying to read in her face regarding what the verdict would be, without success. One of the doctors, I think her name was Dr Miller, spoke up.

‘Well John, we have completed all our tests and just to let you know, we have a grading system, zero to a hundred marks. Anyone below 70 is not chosen. Your mark was 89, which is quite high. You are fit, well adjusted, have not started male puberty yet and are of the correct weight and height for optimum success. Therefore we have to say that you have been chosen to be transformed into a girl.’

As I heard her, my heart was banging away and I had started to sweat. I felt faint and didn’t really believe what I was hearing.

‘D…do I have to…be a g—girl?’

‘What is wrong with being a girl?’ asked the other doctor.

‘N…nothing I just am…a…boy.’

‘Look John, we know that it’s hard, but you have no choice, it’s the law. We all wish that it was different but if the authorities relied on voluntary transformation, there would not be a big enough uptake to fulfil our needs. It was like the old days, before organ cloning where people were asked to donate their organs; there were never enough to go around and people died. We all hope and pray that someday, girls will be born again and that we don’t have to make these decisions, but until then, we have no choice.’

The other doctor then spoke up rather crisply, I thought.

‘Look, you need to know what happens now. Tomorrow morning, you and the other Chosen will transfer to the girls’ school. There is a separate medical facility there and you will initially go there. You will then have a minor operation–’

‘–I don’t think removing my testicles is a minor operation–’

‘–So you know about that? Well, I didn’t mean to trivialise it but what I meant was that it is not a difficult operation and is very much routine and to be frank, you won’t need your testicles anyway.’

‘Right,’ said Matron, stopping me arguing the point,’ I want you to be here at nine o’clock tomorrow morning. Do not have anything to eat tonight or tomorrow, you can drink water though. Pack any personal items you need in the case that will be put in your room. You will not require any clothes as they will be provided for you. Just put on some loose clothing. Tonight you may want to say goodbye to your friends as it will be some time before you will see them again. I hope that you will see this as an opportunity and not too much of a negative thing to happen to you. Being Chosen is a privilege and an honour, though you probably don’t see it that way at the moment.

I got up without saying anything and left the room. Tom Major was waiting in the office, he had on a paper gown and it was obviously his turn next. I just smiled at him and wished him luck and left. I could see on his face that he was quite scared and I hoped that he got what he wanted.

The next day found me in the Sanatorium again waiting with about twenty others, including Tom Major and David Haslam the people that I knew best of the group. We all looked anxious and not knowing what the future would bring. The previous evening there had been a lot of tearful farewells including a very painful one with Adrian. We didn’t know what the future would bring but hoped that we would see each other again sometime. I had spoken to my parents that evening too and they proclaimed their support and love for me and I promised to speak to them on the vidiphone as soon as I was able.

Dr Miller walked in and smiled.

‘Well boys, this is the beginning of your new life. Leave your cases where they are and they will be picked up and put into your rooms. Please follow me.

We all looked at each other and followed the white coated doctor as she left the sanatorium, went down a corridor, came to a door at the end, keyed in a code and after the door slid open silently, motioned us to follow her.

After we all trouped through, I could hear the door swoosh closed behind us. It seemed like it was a sign that my old life was closing too. We went along another corridor and then found ourselves in a sort of large lobby. There were several people, all women doctors waiting for us. They all were holding clipboards.

As we walked in, a nurse asked us our name.

‘John Tranter.’ I said.

‘Right go over there please.’

She pointed to the third doctor who smiled nicely as I walked up.

‘You are?’

‘John Tranter ,Miss.’

‘Right, my name is Dr Thompson. Please go and stand over there with those other boys; you are all in my group.’

I went and stood where I was asked and noted that Tom and David were there too. We just stood there and waited until all the boys were sorted and put into the correct group.

Once everyone was sorted, Dr Thompson came over to us.

‘Right, would you like to follow me?’

She led us over to another door, keyed and in a code. The door opened silently and then we followed the trim figure of the doctor along a corridor with many doors either side, reminding me a bit of a hotel.

As she came up to one, she used a key card to open it and motioned to Tom.

‘This is your room, please go inside, get undressed and put on the gown provided. Someone will be along to see you shortly.’

Tom looked at David and I, gave us a sickly sort of smile and went in. The door closed silently behind him. The process was repeated several times before she stopped at another door and said the same thing to me that she had he said to the others.

I went in and the door closed behind me. The lights came on automatically, leaving me looking at the room with some surprise. It was modern, comfortable and was the mirror image of the room that I had in the boys’ school, the only difference being that it was decorated in pastel shades rather than the rather cold blue of my old room!

There was an en suite bathroom, walk in closet, bed, computer and a large vidiscreen on the wall–all much the same as I had before. On the bed was a paper gown similar to the one worn at the medical yesterday, but in salmon pink. I got undressed and changed into the gown; this time there were no underpants to wear. Sitting on the bed, I wondered what was going to happen next. To say that I was scared was something of an understatement.

I stood up and went to the walk in closet with its sliding mirror doors. I went to open it and saw that it was locked. That was strange, well maybe they didn’t want to shock me with all those girly clothes yet.

I went over to the computer.

‘Computer on.’ I said.

‘You do not have access at the moment. Please contact your Unit Head for access codes.’

Sitting on the bed again I was very conscious of my groin area. I touched my genitals through the paper of the gown and then took my hand away. I didn’t want to think about that too much.

I was just going to see what was on the vid, when the door opened silently. A nurse walked in carrying a tray.

‘Hello John; making yourself comfortable?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Right, pop yourself on the bed and lie down on your back.’

With some reluctance, I did as I was asked.

‘Sorry honey, I need to do this.’ said the nurse whose nametag said Jane.

She looked at my genitals, took a white cloth from her tray, dipped it in some pink liquid and then washed me down there.

I jumped as she touched me.

‘Cold? Sorry, sweetheart, I won’t be a moment.’

‘W—what’s going to happen?’ I asked.

‘Well, when I have finished doing this, I’ll tell you.’

She carried on for a few minutes more and then pulled down the hem of my gown again.

‘Right, sit up, honey.’

I sat up and waited. After a moment, she sat on the bed and held my hand.

‘A bit frightened eh?’

‘Mmm.’ I said, nodding to emphasise the point.

‘Okay. Well, there is nothing to be frightened of. In a moment, I will give you something to drink and it will relax and make you sleepy. When you are asleep, we will do the procedure and when you wake up, it will all be over.’

‘Will it hurt?’

‘No, you will not feel any discomfort at all. It will be as if you never had any testicles. I promise you that you will feel no pain. Once you have had the procedure, you can go onto the next step in the transformation and I am sure that you will be happy, although you obviously have doubts about that at the moment.’

‘What is the next thing in the transformation then?’

‘One step at a time, honey, now take this and drink it all up.’

She picked up a glass from the tray; it was full of pink liquid and handed it to me.

I looked at the glass, now in my slightly shaky hand. This was it, no turning back. I looked at her; she seemed kind and I was reassured–slightly. Taking a deep breath, I drank the liquid; it tasted slightly of strawberries.

As I drained the glass, I almost immediately felt very sleepy. I was helped back down onto the pillow I couldn’t keep my eyes open and could sense some covers being pulled over me. Then I knew no more––

‘Wake up John.’

It was as if it came from far away. I didn’t want to wake up, it was nice and warm in the bed and I was still very sleepy.

‘John, wake up now, please.’

I cracked an eye open and there was Jane, the nurse, looking down at me.

‘Is it time for the procedure?’ I asked.

She laughed. ‘No, silly, it’s all over. I said you wouldn’t feel any pain.’

I put my hand under the cover, trying to feel for my groin. I was wearing something silky and pulled the slippery fabric up slightly and then I was able to feel myself. It was true, the sac was empty!

‘You have now completed the first stage of your transformation, honey. You can have no idea as to how lucky you are to be one of The Chosen.’

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To be continued…
 

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My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.