Fit-4-U by Erin Halfelven

Seconds And Irregulars : 9

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When Ozzie finally stopped to catch his breath,
Avery summed up the case in a single sentence:
"The problem is that you ordered a French Maid Costume,
and now that you're wearing it, you can't take it off."

"That's right," he said. "You make it sound simple,
but it's a nightmare, I'm telling you!"

 

Seconds And Irregulars : 7

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He paused. He closed his eyes and placed his hand on his forehead.
It was time to gather his thoughts. What was his current status? What were his next steps?

His current status? He was wearing a pair of women's underwear, and it fit like a dream (unfortunately!)
What had he done wrong here?

 

Seconds And Irregulars : 5

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"Magic?" Laura repeated. "If you mean like stage magic, then no.
And it's not a joke. I mean, at the prices they charge,
it's not a joke that could go very far."

 

Seconds And Irregulars : 4

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"What are– what you doing up?" he asked her, trying to sound casual, but failing.
He sounded nervous, gave off guilty vibes.

"I had to pee," she said. "What else would I be doing up?"
She gave him a suspicious look. "What are you doing up?"

"Nothing, nothing," he answered, a little too quickly.
"Just couldn't sleep. That's all. Heheh."

 

Seconds And Irregulars : 2

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"So... that jacket...," Ozzie puzzled, pausing in his steps at end of the driveway, "it's Laura's, right?"

"Yes."

"So how in the hell does it fit you?"

 

Seconds And Irregulars : 1

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"I wish men could have that experience," Camille said.
"... of being looked at like a piece of meat."
She managed to keep the edge of resentment out of her voice.

"That wouldn't work." Laura responded. "It wouldn't help at all.
Men would *love* being seen like meat, and being treated as sexual objects.
In their minds, it would work in their favor."

 

Seconds and Irregulars

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"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it."

— Edith Head

 

This is the story of a pig-headed man who tries to prove a point
animated by his misunderstanding of dress sizes,
and more generally, by his inability to listen to others,
particularly women,
and especially, his wife.

 

Knocked Up for Halloween

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“Augh! How do I keep letting you talk me into stuff!”

knockedup-002.jpg

Knocked Up for Halloween
by Erin Halfelven
A Fit-4-U Tale

Fit-4-U: As the Case May Be

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Originally posted 2005/02/01

Remember how courteously inefficient all that old correspondence by snail mail used to be? It often seemed as if you would never be able to get anything straightened out by dealing with people who weren't even reading your letters...

Photo by Heitor Verdi from Pexels

Fit-4-U: As the Case May Be
by Erin Halfelven

Gentlemen;

Fit-4-U: Guaranteed-2-Fit

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Did you ever sneak off somewhere to look at lingerie catalogs?

Guaranteed 2 Fit

Fit-4-U: Guaranteed 2 Fit

by Lainie Lee

I stole the little booklets from my sister's room and looked at the pictures in the bathroom with the door locked. In some of them the girls were practically naked, just wearing bra and panties. The images sent hot little barbs into my brain and made me feel sweaty in odd places.

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