“It’s hard to say what it was like, being out there in a bathing suit. Hard to put into words and say anything other than ‘it felt good’, I guess. That doesn't even really describe it well either. ‘It felt good’ is so vague it could mean anything. It felt liberating maybe? I don’t know, I’m new to this.

Well, getting back on topic, Elise convinced me to go on another ride. A simple one, one where it just went straight up, turned, then went down. There was a splash at the end. I don’t remember what it was called, but after SkyRush, going on this was nothing.

Or maybe it wasn’t actually, because I was still pretty nervous before we got on it. Less nervous than before SkyRush though. Progress is being made, that’s what’s important here.

After that we chilled on the Lazy River. I have a bit of a funny story about the Lazy River, actually. Well, it’s probably not really funny at all, just another reason why I don’t go to Hershey Park very often.

It happened when I was 13. My family went to the water park that day with one of the neighbor’s families. They had just moved in and had a son. My parents made a pretty big deal out of that, thinking this was an opportunity for me to make a new friend. That didn’t happen. We pretty much never talked to each other in the two situations we were ever even together. I don’t even remember his name. He moved away a year after that too. My parents never brought him up again. They probably wouldn’t try to do that again if another kid were to move here.

You know, sometimes I wonder if my parents somehow knew of my gender troubles, because especially when I was around 12-14 they put a lot of special emphasis on me being a ‘boy’. They gave me two books to read one summer, very much emphasizing the fact they were made for ‘young boys’. When that kid moved over here, they really stressed that he was ‘another boy’. They kept asking me things like ‘did you talk to any of the boys there’. I doubt they suspected I wanted to be a girl, but they probably didn’t like that I wasn’t very ‘rough’ or ‘brave’. Compared to most boys I was pretty squeamish about doing things like hunting or tree climbing. Searching for crawfish was a big one I remember when I was really young. I was too scared to even go in the creek water for them. I swear, when I first told them Elise and I were dating, they were shocked. They may have suspected I was gay. Not exactly a wrong assumption on their part, or on my part.

And now I’m getting off-topic again. Gotta work on that. Anyway, when I was 13 that one kid and I went on the Lazy River. We didn’t talk to each other. It was pretty awkward. When it was over, we had separated a bit, and he was ahead of me. He was still in eyesight when I saw him get out, and then when I got out I couldn’t see him. I went back to the wave pool and our parents just weren’t there. I walked around the whole park looking for them, going in circles sometimes, and by the end I was getting pretty nervous.

Turns out they were looking for me too, because they found me. And they had gotten pretty worried about me. The neighbor kid got kind of mad at me and said I walked away. He seemed annoyed by me. I guess that’s why we never really became friends.

I didn’t get lost this time. I didn’t tell that story to Elise and Amanda, but I was thinking about it. I made sure I avoided it this time, and thankfully I did.

We went to the wave pool after that, and made sure that we did not touch the railings. I don’t know why that’s important, all I know is that when I was 13, during that same trip I got lost, I held onto the railings and heard a whistle blow but no one came to me. When I got out of the pool, my mother seemed kind of mad and told me the lifeguards were blowing their whistle telling me to stop holding onto the rails. No one told me about that, not even the lifeguards. I don’t remember that rule being written anywhere. Was that something I was just supposed to know? I’ve seen other people get told off by lifeguards when they hold onto the rails on wave pools. Why was that a bad thing? I can’t even find anything about this rule on the internet, but I know for sure it exists. Why? What’s the point of having the rails there if you can’t use them? Are the rails going to break off if people use them? Does holding onto them interfere with the waves? I don’t get it.

Other than that, the wave pool was definitely fun. Elise and I did get a bit carried away in there, making out with each other. Definitely distracting a lot of people, I’m sure, but we stopped caring. Amanda didn’t bother to tell us to stop. I guess she had admitted defeat.

Well, now we’re back in Elise’s car, all dried off. At least Elise and I are. I don’t know where Amanda ran off to. She said she had to do something. Probably go to the bathroom, I assume.

I’ve been at this for quite a while now. And it does feel good. Maybe I’ll do this more often. It’s been a pretty fun day. Hell, it’s been a pretty amazing day, one of the best I’ve ever had. It’s been tiring sometimes, but other times it was exhilarating. To be in a bathing suit, go on a rollercoaster, come out to Amanda all in one day? To think two weeks ago I was too nervous to go out without a sweatshirt on is insane. I love Elise so much.

I don’t think I’d ever be able to say this, but I think I might really be a trans girl named Sierra.”

Sierra heard the car door open in the back.

“What are you doing there? Typing out a diary? What are you, 12?” Amanda teased.

“Well… Elise sort of brought up the idea, and I thought I’d try it out.”

“Did you start it off by saying ‘dear diary’”?

“No, of course not. I don’t think anyone actually starts it off like that.”

“Emma did.” Elise cut in. “And were you listening to me? I didn’t bring up you writing a diary, I brought up how I used to sneak into Emma’s room and read her diary.”

“Well, it gave me the idea.” Sierra said.

“You read Emma’s diary? Seriously?” Amanda asked. “You keep complaining about her invading your room but you read her diary?”

“That was years ago, she was 7.” Elise explained. “I’ve grown up. Emma hasn’t. Maybe she should’ve hid it better.”

“‘Well maybe you should’ve hid your bitchiness better’.” Amanda mocked in a childish tone.

“Don’t imitate Emma.” Elise said. “Please, dealing with her is enough already.”

“Just wanted to make sure you got a response from her.”

Elise held back a sigh. “Do we have everything?”

“I think so.” Sierra said.

“Good, let’s take the third wheel home.”

Amanda chuckled. “You think I’d want to see you two getting it on? Sierra would probably stop midway through whenever some song on the radio comes on she doesn’t like.”

Elise mockingly laughed at her. Sierra held her head. What a strange group of people.

As Elise started the car, Sierra turned back to look at Hershey Park. No longer was it an intimidating sight. It was pretty nice. She should start going to Hershey Park more often.

Elise turned on the radio. Heat Waves by Glass Animals was playing.

Sierra snapped her head back. “Oh, I fucking hate this song.”

Elise sighed while Amanda laughed. Here she goes again.