Shame and Desire Chapter 43

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When Devin first went to his electrolysis session, he was told that his facial hair would take about a week to start growing back. He had already known that it would take far more than one session to remove all his facial hair, but he was still pretty stoked to have a whole week clear of it.

Looking at his face in the mirror, it was apparent that that week was over.

It was subtle, but he could see and feel some fuzz on his chin. He tried to shave all that he could off, but his attempts still left a light shadow marking the bottom half of his face.

It was a losing effort, and seeing his attempts end up futile almost made him cry, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to be weak, he wasn’t going to cry over something like this.

Devin examined his face further in the mirror and came upon another depressing realization.

He no longer looked like a girl.

He didn’t really look like a guy either, but the 5 o’clock shadow really stood out on his face, and paired with short hair and no makeup, he could best be described as androgynous.

On the bright side, as long as he kept his mouth shut and shaved as much as he could every day, he could at least avoid being seen as male.

Still, he’d have to wait until his next electrolysis session to have a smooth face again.

Would he have another electrolysis session? Even when his parents were home? Yeah, of course he would. He wouldn’t stop the sessions because of the risk his parents would find out, which was inevitable anyway.

Shit… he really wasn’t prepared for what his parents would do if he told them his secret.

He’d deal with that when they came back. Sometime, eventually.

***

Devin was already outside waiting when noon came along. He saw Elise’s car pull up to his driveway and immediately went in.

“It is like ninety degrees out, that sweatshirt is going to kill you.”

“You want your grandparents to see my breasts?” Devin asked.

Elise grumbled. “Alright… so do you have a plan for what you’ll say?”

“Yes.” Devin pulled out his phone. “I have a document right here. I wrote down everything I need to know.”

“Let’s hope so.” Elise said as she pulled out of the driveway.

***

It was a short drive to Elise’s house. Elise lived in an area very similar to Devin, that being a small rural-like neighborhood that didn’t see much traffic or action. It was mostly pretty quiet, and like Devin, Elise didn’t see any reason to desire something different.

“Hey, Devin…” Elise said, unsure if that was the right name to use. “Me and Amanda were talking about going to Hershey Park tomorrow. Would you like to come with us?”

Devin was silent for a while before answering her question. “I, uh… don’t think you can just go to Hershey Park. Don’t you need to pick out a date and pay beforehand?”

“No, you just need to have a ticket, and besides, we have a Season Pass.” Elise said. “You did say you have a season pass, right?”

“Yeah, my parents made me get one. I don’t know why, but they did.”

“Well… if your parents made you get one, then why not put it to good use and come with us?”

“I…” Devin hesitated for a bit. “I don’t know…”

“I don’t think Amanda would care, you know.” Elise said.

Devin didn’t respond. He continued to watch the moving scenery outside the window.

He didn’t say anything, but he knew exactly what was at risk by going with them.

If he were to go to Hershey Park alongside Amanda, he’d have two options. The first was to do what he was doing right now, wear a sweatshirt in the heat. While Devin had worn sweatshirts in ninety degree weather before, he’d never done it for an extended period of time, and especially not in an amusement park, where he’d constantly be walking around and going on fast rides.

It would almost literally be hell.

There was no doubt about it, if he wore a sweatshirt at an amusement park with tomorrow’s heat, he’d probably get a heat stroke. That option was definitely off the table.

That only left the other option: going with them without the sweatshirt, which would reveal some of his more hidden assets.

Devin’s breasts were not large, but they were very noticeable. A T-Shirt would allow everyone to see them, including Amanda, who was not at all aware of his identity as “Sierra”. There was no way he could just show up to go to that amusement park without telling her about Sierra beforehand.

So that begged the question, would he tell her?

This would be the first time he told someone directly about his identity, entirely of his own volition. Telling Elise was because of an accident, this would be fully unprompted.

Beyond that, it would mean yet another person knowing of Sierra, and to Devin, that was a terrifying prospect. What if Amanda went and told everyone about Sierra? What if that was how his parents found out? He surely wasn’t ready for that. So no, he wasn’t going with them, it was too risky.

No… wait… he couldn’t give up all faith like that.

He had known Amanda for a while. She could even be considered a friend. She could keep a secret, he was sure of it. And besides, it was about time more people knew about Sierra.

He’d already told one person about her, really, what more was another? The first person would always be harder than the second. He’d already jumped over a bigger hurdle than this. He could trust Amanda. He knew he could.

“I’ll go.” Devin said.

“Really? That’s great! We’ll come pick you up at 7:30, okay?”

“Got it.”

Devin was taking a major risk with this, he just hoped it would pay off.

***

Just as Elise pulled her car into her driveway, she remembered something else she wanted to tell Devin.

“Hey, I looked up those… shaving sessions you told me about.”

“You mean electrolysis?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Elise said. “Anyway, I learned that anyone under the age of eighteen needs a parent to approve their session.”

Devin laughed awkwardly. “I may have forged some of the details…”

Elise sighed. “You’re a wreck, Devin. A total wreck, you know that?” She continued. “Are you really telling me they just let you do the session without a parent in the room?”

“Yes.” Devin answered. “I don’t know how but yes.”

“This is all too fucking insane.” Elise said. “I don’t know how I get roped into these things.”

“That’s the price of dating me.” Devin smiled.

Elise smiled back. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

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