Through the rest of supper, I kept to myself as I repeatedly pondered about how much Adam inadvertently controlled so much of my life. He was the reason there was a hole in the wall in my room, my mistrust of mainstream religions, and the saving the life of a person who, apparently, wanted to make a good impression on me. Adam was once again in front of Garrett and didn’t seem to care about him except to ask if he was my boyfriend. Garrett may have been if the roads had been plowed and we were both able to talk more. I missed most of the conversation until Lena and Danny got back to the wedding and what everyone was going to wear.
“Let’s just keep it in Christmas colors, mom,” Danny called in to the kitchen.
“That will work. We can spend more resources on the food and getting the word out.” Mom said as she brought out two pies.
I skipped the pies and went into the living room to see the tree. It was bare, as mom and dad never decorated it until we were all together. There were several boxes in the corner—filled with every type of decoration imaginable:
Lacquer-spayed popcorn? Four, ten-foot strands.
Hand painted, flour-and-salt ceramic ornaments, over sixteen from various years.
A small, angel with a broken wing wearing a garter belt and a leather jacket? We had one and it was in a box marked with a star and that was the one I went to unbury from the stack. Seth never told anyone where he purchased it but said he had to smuggle it across several nations and past his CO.
Danny has walked into the living room and saw what I was going for.
“Tell me you’re going to hang that last?”
“Of course. Right under the star.”
“Seth would’ve gotten a kick out of that.”
“He would, wouldn’t he?” I asked as Danny smiled back.
“Do you want me hang onto it. That dress doesn’t look like it has pockets.”
“I’m going to sew one on one day,” I replied as I opened the box in question, and then gazed in the direction of the dining room to see if Adam was looking. He wasn’t so I took the ornament out and gave it to Danny.
“He never said where he got this.” Danny stated as he took the figure and went down the hall.
I took more ornaments out and laid them out on the coffee table as Mom came in to look at the tree,
“Oh, we can get an absolutely sweet picture in front of the tree with Danny and Lena right here.” Mom moved her hands around like had just watched a Jackie Chan movie. “David!”
“Yes, dear?”
“Do we have any film in the camera?”
“It’s 2020, Ma,” Danny said as he walked into the room and took out his phone.
“You cannot develop a special picture by taking it on a phone,” Mom replied as she picked up a box and shoved it into his arms.
“Can’t develop film either unless you ship it out to Memphis.”
“Nothing's going to Memphis!” Dad shouted.
“Start taking ornaments out, Danny.”
“Got a better idea, Ma. Hey Adam, do the kids want to help with the tree?”
“They will even if they don’t want to," Adam replied as Jamie and Amelia flew into the living room and stood near the tree. They kept their distance from me. I wanted to believe that it was because they didn’t really know me but, from their eyes darting from looking at me and then to themselves I assumed there was something more, but I wasn’t going to bring it up. I didn’t want to ruin the fragile peace at the time.
Lena and Karen Anne stepped into the living room and at the stacks of boxes.
“Do you just remove everything that isn’t Christmas-y and place something red and or green in its place?” Lena asked.
“That’s about right.”
Karen Anne picked up a clay ornament that looked like a small blob balanced on top or a large blob with toothpicks sticking out. “This has the initials of AA. Adam, what is this supposed to be?”
“It was a penguin,” I replied. “The feet fell off years ago…they could still be in the box.”
“Oh, this is so cute. And he has a little beak too.”
I nodded as Karen Anne looked at me for a moment and turned to the kids. “Jamie, Amy, let’s get you some decorations to hang up, okay?”
She then moved back to the kids. I stepped back to see Danny get out the step ladder.
“Where did Dad get this tree?”
“The VFW brought it in from Wells Tree Farm,” I said as I handed over a length of popcorn rope.
“It’s like the Griswold’s tree.”
“They wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“Hey Ma! We may need to move the couch.”
“It can go in the sitting room!” Mom called out from the kitchen. Adam stood next to Dad and they both looked at the couch.
“We’ll move it. Let’s get some manly muscle in to move it. Danny, Nick!”
“No, I’ll help you,” Dad gruffly responded.
Danny went to the end of the couch near me and readied to lift.
“Dad, we can get it. Nick, let’s move!”
“Nichole is not going lift the couch. I’ll help you.”
“No, Dad, Adam and I can get this,” Danny replied.
I turned to work on the tree as my face was probably as red as an ornament as I could feel Adam’s stare burning into my scalp.
“Ain’t heavy really,” Danny said as he hoisted up the end. “Just a straight shot.”
“Yeah, let’s take it straight,” Adam muttered, and I was sure that was a shot taken at me.
The living room fell silent for a moment as Danny and Adam moved the couch out of the room.
“Can we open a present on Christmas Eve?” James asked as he eyed a large, wrapped box in the corner.
“I have one for each of you to open,” Mom said in a loud whisper
“How many days?”
“Two,” mom replied as she held up two fingers.
I continued to hang decorations on the tree and wondered exactly where I would put that one ornament. Under the star was the plan but I was sure that Adam would see it and it was disappear into the fireplace or into the trash without a trace. So a part of me just wanted to hold onto it, maybe place it in my window…or maybe I could get one of those “Charlie Brown Christmas” trees that we sold at work and put that lone ornament on my lonely tree.

Ornament Trans-Siberian Orchestra