Adam had already swung the door hard open so there was absolutely no way to stop the oncoming trauma.
He looked at me with a smile on his face at first, but it slowly faded and while it didn’t go dour, it was a good rendition of man who was extremely constipated all the time. His eyes looked at my face and noticed the make-up and light lipstick. He then noticed my hair was long and in a ponytail. His attention then went to Garret and, seeing that he checked out—to whatever Adam’s standards were—his attention turned back to me.
“You need a haircut.”
“Been considering it,” I replied. I then wanted to give Garrett a chance to bow out with his sanity intact. “Thanks for the lift home.”
Garret looked at me and then at Adam. “Five thirty good?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Nicole.” Garett said as he waved to me. He didn’t say it mockingly, but I assumed he was just trying to avoid any hassle with Adam.
“Is that lipstick?” Adam asked as his wife, Karen Anne, came up from behind.
Karen Anne was what could be described as the apex of a Southern woman. She was from Alabama and abhorred wearing anything else but dresses—I mean she never wore pants. I mean, I would for work or if it was required but Karen Anne had some kind of allergy to denim. She had once gone off on a tangent—after several glasses of wine—that she had once dated a guy who, as she said, had “turned into a girl” and how disgusted she was about it all. I wanted to ask for her name at the time but decided not to, lest she ask a question she didn’t want to hear the answer to.

“Hey Nick, how are you doing, I—” She stopped in mid-greeting and did the same thing her husband did: sized me up without asking anything.”
“It’s cold, can I come in?”
Adam looked to Garrett’s truck as it drove off. “You’re boyfriend?”
I held up the bouquet of flowers. “No, not yet.”
Karen Anne had ducked back into the house. Adam followed her, leaving me to close the door with everything still in my hands.

The house was already packed with Danny and Lena over but now there were four-six if one counts egos- additional occupants in the house. I weaved my way to the hallway and to my room.
“Is that uncle Nick?” I heard one Adam’s kids ask and I came very close to having a panic attack. In fact, as soon as I locked my door I placed the flowers on my bed and then collapsed to the floor—no tears at that time, just a repeating vision of the fights that had occurred in the past.
I took off my work clothes while sprawled out on the floor and as ridiculous as it may have looked it gave me a chance to breathe and to try to once again block out those tidings of comfort and joy of Christmas Past and the current present.

I sat up and leaned against my bed, still no tears, but I could feel my face swelling and turning a slight shade of crimson. No, I didn’t want anyone to knock on my door and ask me if I was all right. What I wanted was to be able to walk out of my room, in my own house, and be treated for who I was. I knew it would not happen. Adam and Karen Anne would either ignore me or Adam would make a comment hidden within a compliment and that kind of pissed me off.
It did help me stop crying as I stood back up, went to my closet, pulled out blue skirt and a white shirt and accompanied them with a pair of rainbow earrings.
It would be worth it.

I took a few moments before opening the door but as I did, Lena stood on the other side.
“Dinner, or as your mom keeps saying, suppah, is ready.”
I had to wonder if it was from wine, courtesy of Karen Anne, or just mom trying to live up to her Southern roots.
“Can I ask you a question, in confidence?” Lena asked in a low whisper.
I nodded.
“How did you put up with Adam?”
I took a deep breath and just exhaled.
“I know the feeling,” she replied. “Join the family.”
I walked behind Lena—almost using her as a shield within my own home.

We walked into the dining room that was once again over packed with people: Dad sat at head of the head of the table with Adam and Karen Anne to his right. Danny sat across the table from Adam with Lena taking the seat next to him. I sat next to Lena and avoided eye contact with everyone as we ate. Mom walked back and forth between the dining room and the kitchen table where James and Amelia were sitting.
I almost thought they would make me sit at the kiddie table, but it appeared I was needed at the adult table.
“So, it’s on for the 27th?” Karen Anne asked Lena.
“Yes, in Thomas Park with all those beautiful trees.”
I held a slight grin about how that park once looked covered in blue, pink, and white two-ply.
“Even in the snow?” Dad asked as he took a bite of cornbread.
“As long as it’s not forty below,” Lena said as she “booped” Danny on the nose.
“We’ll need the ceremony to be very short, Adam.”
“Like, do you? Do you? Good. You’re married. Kiss her.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” Danny responded by kissing Lena on the cheek.
“So, if it’s blowing snow, you still want it outside?”
“The back-up plan is the garage,” Lena replied. “We may need to get some snow goggles.”
“We can have some skis in the background,” Mom chipped in as she brought in a pot of chili. “Adam, can you say grace for us?”
“Sure, mom. Kids, come in here to bless the food.”
Everyone stood up and held hands-Lena and Mom held mine as everyone closed their eyes.
I admit, I mentally blotted out Adam’s voice. For as much talk of, peace, love and forgiving us for our transgressions, I could not forget what he had said and done to me so many years ago. I was also convinced that I could never forgive him. I could be the nice person and be happy to help in whatever endeavor Danny wanted—even if it involved Adam—but I would not be insulted, belittled, or told I was some sort of blight on the family. So. Help. Me. God!

“Amen,” mom replied as she scooped up a large amount of chili with a silver ladle and lowered it into bowls in front of her for James and Amelia. I sat patiently as the food went around, counter-clockwise as Karen-Anne asked fifty, give or a take a few, mission questions about the upcoming wedding and the stories Adam brought up from time to time.
“He says these things in sermons and everyone’s thinkin: ‘nuh-uh’, that couldn’t have happened.”
“The truth is stranger than fiction,” Danny replied.
Adam nodded.
“Okay okay…what about the bird incident?”
“Reverend Al-“
“He’s not a reverend,” Adam sharply pointed out.
“Why do they call him one?” Karen Anne asked.
“He’s been married nine times and he performed his own ceremony on the very last one,” I said.
“Yep,” Danny replied as Dad looked back and forth between the conversion.
“Anyway, Mr Al gathered a murder of crows locked them a cage and they broke free while he was moving it across town in the back of his truck. They tore through Mrs. Thomas’—the mayor’s wife’s laundry and hung out on her house for a few weeks. They tried fireworks, the fire department, and firearms, but there were usually two birds that remained to taunt her.”
“Adam, can we go by the mayor’s house and see if there are any birds there?”
“They’re probably gone in the winter.”
“What else?” Karen Anne asked, her eyes were now glowing in anticipation like a kid on Christmas Eve.
“Mr Johnny’s pizza business?” I asked.
“Yes,” Danny yelled as he slapped his knee. Lena and Karen Anne looked at me.
“It only lasted a day,” I chipped in
“Gas explosion that occurred at nine o’clock on the Fourth of July. The store was closed, so no one was hurt, and it rained multiple colors and sparkles.”
“No way! Did he plan it?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“This town gets crazier every year.”
“You can always move to Pecos,” Adam said.
Dad shook his head as he took a bite of chili.
“What else?” Karen Anne asked.
“There's when Mr. Thomas got his car from Uncle Don’s Shop up onto the roof of City Hall. No one ever figured out how it got there. Just a loud engine bang, some smoke and, poof! There it was on the balcony.”
“Seriously?” Karen Anne asked.
“It was a huge blizzard…and…Seth told this better, I’m trying to remember.”
“How did they get it down?” Lena asked.
Dad pointed at me. “Tell them, Nikki.”
“The official story is that it was a Christmas miracle, but it was really a covert band of men with welding torches who came in the middle of the storm and removed the car before Mayor Thomas returned to see the tire tracks in his office.”
“Adam, is this the same mayor as the one who you saved his grandson?”
“It was one of his nephews. I think his name was Gary.”

The Silent Nutcracker —Trans-Siberian Orchestra