The Odd Squad -9- Street Urchins

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Part 9 Street urchins

“ Well done Julie, and please pass on my congratulations to your teams, both the official team and the unofficial helpers to your Odd Squad. “ said Superintendent Scargill to me in his office at County headquarters at Northallerton. “Although Lord Acklington and his supposedly stolen Bugatti turned out to be a bit of an attempted insurance fraud and a waste of time, he did lead us to investigate other car thefts and their link to a major drug ring. The regional drug squad are now following up on that and are trying to get along the chain to the people actually controlling the trade in the region, your help has been invaluable, but leave that to them. However you should keep an eye open for the local low-level dealers working the streets in and around York.”

Back at the station I called the team together and passed on the Superintendents comments, and I noticed an air of disappointment that we were not being allowed to follow up on the case we had started.

“ Right, now it is back to the routine for all of us. Barry you follow up on the spate of burglaries that have been taking place out in the more desirable suburbs. Trudy, you and Susan, start sniffing around in the clubs and bars and all the usual haunts for signs of local drug activity, Despite what CS Scargill said I still want to keep us involved with the drug scene, sometimes the small guys at the bottom of the pile can help to lead us up the chain, the regional people are not particularly interested in what is happening on our patch, they concentrate on the guys at the top.”

“ Trudy, ask Mick and Josie and the rest of our unofficial helpers to keep their ears to the ground and let us know of anything they hear or see, sometimes things go on that we would not notice as out of the ordinary. In particular there is to be a big Cosplay/Comic-Con convention due up on the University campus in a couple of weeks, when most of the students will have gone home for the Christmas holiday break. Most of those attending are just out for a good time, playing dress-up and living out their fantasies, some of them a bit weird but harmless, but like all big social events there is always an undercurrent of drug abuse amongst the minority. It might be worthwhile for you and Susan, and maybe Mick, Josie and Tammy, to book in and have a bit of fun whilst working undercover.”

The following week, I had been out at a burglar investigation with Barry, as with most of the others cases, the victims were away for the evening and came home to find their place ransacked and lots of small but expensive items missing. On returning to the station there was a bit of a rumpus going on in the main reception area. A late-teenage girl dressed in scruffy torn jeans, a rumpled jacket and scuffed worn shoes with her hair hanging wild over her shoulders was shouting and screaming and generally giving the desk sergeant a really hard time.

“ You lot are all the same, you don’t care about people like me, just because we do not live your nice comfortable middle-class life in your cosy little houses, you think we just get what we deserve, but we have as much right to your help as anyone else.”

“ I’m sorry Miss, but you cannot just barge in here and demand to see someone senior, everyone is busy at the moment, so please take a seat over there and I will see if anyone can come to see you.” replied the extremely patient Sergeant Jack Miller

“ This is all just because I am living on the streets and can’t give you a contact address or a phone number, you will just not recognise that I have a problem.”

This row was disturbing the normal routine of the front desk so I thought that I had better step in, I was not particularly busy at the time, and was interested in finding out what the problem was.

“ It’s ok Jack, I will take over with this, put her in one of the interview rooms and bring in a couple of coffees, and the packet of chocolate digestives you keep under your desk. I will find out what is getting her all worked up.”

“ Ok Miss, calm down, tell me who you are and why you have come her. I am DI Rowntree, but you can call me Julie. if you are living on the streets you are probably hungry, so help yourself to the biscuits.”

“ Your bloody sergeant was getting all officious with me, my sister is missing and he just didn’t care, he was looking at me as if i was a bit of dog-dirt he had just stepped in.”

“ I’m sure that is not the case, Sergeant Miller is a good officer, he was just following procedures. As I said, calm down and just tell me how we can help.”

“ My name is Sally Lancaster, My sister Liz has been missing for three days. I know that we are living on the streets or in squats but we do usually keep together, it is not like her to not come back. I last saw her three days ago, when she went off to do a job for a friend and nobody I know has seen her since.

“ How long have you been homeless and how do you support yourselves.”

“ It has been 6 months or so since we left home in Leeds, we were sick of our alcoholic mother and her aggressive abusive boyfriend, it had got to the stage that we were really worried that he was going to assault and try to rape us. You probably don’t know much about it but there is a thriving underground community in the back streets of genteel York, and we all tend to look out for each other, sharing squats or passing on tips as to the best places for begging, and doing odd jobs for people, and we manage to keep our heads above the water.”

“ Out of interest , do any of these odd jobs involve a bit of thieving or drug-running or anything like that.”

“ Not me personally, you aren’t going to catch me out like that, but yes it does all go on. In fact when she disappeared I think that she was carrying some drugs for one of our friends, but I will deny it all if you ever try to use it against her. I never got involved with the drug scene myself, I may be out on the streets but I still have my standards, so I don’t really know who she was working for.”

“ Is she the only one of your regular contacts that is missing, quite often when you are dealing with drug gangs, one thing leads to another, somebody sees something they shouldn’t and it all snowballs.”

“ Now you mention it, our friend Ruth hasn’t been around for a few days either. I don’t know her second name, that’s the way it is on the streets the less people know about you the better it is.”

“ It seems to me that Liz and Ruth have got mixed up with the wrong people and have seen something they shouldn’t have seen and have been spirited away to keep them quiet. I think that you might be in danger too, if I am right they will probably think that Liz has told you what is going on and they will need to keep you quiet too. I would like to help you Sally, let me look into it. How can I find you when I want to get in touch.”

“ It’s difficult at the moment, we have just been kicked out of our squat and are living rough, begging in the tourist spots and sleeping in shop doorways and living on handouts, I don’t know where I will be staying, and from what you have just said I don’t think I will feel safe out there.”

“ Stay here for a few minutes, I want to make a couple of phone calls.”

“ Ok Sally, I have found you somewhere to stay, but I need you to promise me that you will not abuse their hospitality and cause them any problems, will you do that? If I find out that you have stolen or damaged anything or been involved in any of your shady activities whilst you are with them, I will find you and come down on you like a ton of bricks.”

“ You are nearly as bad as your sergeant, making a judgement on me, but I realise you are trying to help and mean well, so, yes, I promise to behave.”

“ There are a couple of girls about your age that we have helped in the past that are happy for you to stay with them for a while, Josie and Tammie. They are coming in to have a chat with you to make sure that you can all get along and if everything is ok you can go and stay with them while we sort this out.”

I sent out for a hamburger and fries for Sally while we waited for Josie and Tammy to arrive, it was obvious that she hadn’t eaten properly for a while and she gulped it all down ravenously, just finishing before the girls turned up. Josie and Tammy had really made an effort in turning themselves into looking like normal teenage girls and were really settled in their new lives. Like a lot of transgender girls they dressed and acted very femininely, there was no slopping around in jeans and t-shirts and no makeup for them.

I introduced them and left them for a while to chat while I explained to Sergeant Miller what I had arranged. so that he could log it into the system and I could officially start to investigate what had happened.

When I went back in, I found that Sally had been freshened up and given a clean set of clothes, and with her hair brushed out and a little bit of makeup looked quite attractive and presentable, in a heavy skirt and winter jacket and ankle boots, obviously from Josie’s days shoplifting with her mother, she looked totally different to the street waif that had first turned up at the front desk.

“ Just before you go, have you two told Sally about your backgrounds.”

“ Of course she had to know that she would be sharing with a couple of transgender girls, she would probably have not found out, but if we expect her to be honest and open with us we had to be the same with her.”

“ It’s good to be trusted for a change,” said Sally, “I would never have guessed if they had not told me, they are really amazing and ever so friendly, and I am totally comfortable with them, I think we will get along together with no problems. They have had their own difficult times too and can understand what I am going through. They told me how you have helped them with their difficulties and that you can be trusted. i think I am going to enjoy staying with them for a while until all this is sorted.”

The girls left to go home and get to know each other better, while I went up to the office to get progress updates from my teams.

“ Any news yet on the drugs grapevine Trudy?”

“ It is going on, but it is hard to pull anybody in. The street dealers do not keep the stuff on them. They seem to have youngsters hanging around nearby who actually fetch and carry the stuff and pass it to the dealers when they have a trade. Usually it is young girls who who carry for them and they tend to go unnoticed in the main shopping and tourist areas.”

“Actually we now have one of those young girls working with us. Sally is in hiding and is lodging with Josie and Tammy. If you are taking them to the convention it might be useful take Sally too, she might recognise some of the dealers. Sally’s sister and friend who both probably are involved with the street dealers, have gone missing and she is worried that something may have happened to them and that she is next on the list. Keep me informed Trudy”

“ How are you getting on with the burglaries Barry?”

“ It is all pretty low level stuff that is easily traded on, jewellery, mobile phones, laptops, wallets etc. In most cases the entry to the house is through small unlocked windows left unlocked and slightly ajar to let the places breath, no signs of forced entry.”

“Just following on from what Trudy just said, check whether there are any sightings of youngsters hanging around in the area at the time of the burglaries, using kids to wriggle in through small windows is pretty standard practice.”

The day of the convention, I was amazed at what Trudy and the team had come up with. Her and Susan were dressed as sexy versions of Morticia Adams, with long black wigs, low-cut, black slinky minidresses and heavy Goth makeup, under all that they were totally unrecognisable. Mick was the male equivalent, a cross between Dracula and Frankenstein. Josie Sally and Tammy were all comic super heroines, Supergirl, Batgirl and Wonderwoman. In many ways I was disappointed that I hadn’t decided to join them, since my transition I had led a fairly mundane everyday female existence and the opportunities to dress up and glam up were few and far between. A day out in exotic clothes would have been a nice tonic for me, and a change from my practical jeans. jumper and trainers work outfits.

They all arrived at the convention, followed a few minutes later by an unmarked car with uniformed officers who waited outside in case any arrests were needed. It was a spectacular event, although there were all the usual stalls selling costumes, memorabilia or food, it was mainly an occasion for people-watching, looking at the spectacular costumes, and talking to like-minded or similarly-dressed folk. It was generally a surreal social gathering with everyone enjoying the mood of the event.

However, there are always some people up to no good, pickpocketing, petty theft, minor scuffles and assaults, and unfortunately a bit of low-level drug dealing. Sally was particularly useful in identifying several of the dealers that she knew, and in particular one that Liz occasionally worked for. Like many others, Mick and Susan were taking photos of many of the outrageously dressed characters, using it as a cover for recording drugs being passed over, and at the end of the day they had emailed the photos to the uniformed officers waiting at the exit to make searches and arrests. Most were streetwise kids just out to make a bit of money to fund their own habit, but there were a couple that Sally recognised as being a bit further up the chain, along with a teenage girl who she knew often worked with Liz. The others were allowed to leave after giving their details, but those three were taken down to the station for interview. Trudy joined me for the interviews after disappointingly changing out of her Morticia costume, apart from looking for dealers she had enjoyed her day out. We started the first interview with the young girl that Sally had identified as working with Liz.

Having been caught with a large quantity of drugs that she was carrying for the dealers, after a bit of a belligerent start, we were soon easily able to put the frighteners on her and she quickly confessed to regularly working with the two men, and definitely wasn’t going to take all the blame for them. that helped us to prepare our questioning of the first of the dealers

“ Before we start the formal recorded interview, let me say that I am not particularly worried about a few ecstasy or speed tablets for personal use, but your young runner seemed to have quite a stock with her when searched which she has confessed to holding on your behalf, and you had a stock on yourself too at a level where you can expect a lengthy prison sentence. However I am more interested in other matters, and if you can help me with those we may be able to be lenient. I hope you can be cooperative. Name address and personal details please.”

“Do you know a Liz Lancaster? She has disappeared and not been seen for several days. We have been informed that she often worked as a runner for you. Here is a photo of her. Have you seen her recently?”

“ I know her just as Liz, whether her name is Lancaster I don’t know. I am not saying whether she ever did any odd jobs for me and I am not admitting to anything other than what you caught me with today.”

“ We have reason to believe that she has been locked away somewhere or even killed along with a friend and associate of hers, known only as Ruth, and if we find you are involved it will not be good for you, it will not be just a slap on the wrist and a couple of months in a nice warm soft prison. I’ll ask again, have you seen her recently?”

“ Word on the street is that Ruth tried to swindle one of the big dealers and had been dealt with, and that Liz saw what happened as has gone to ground. That’s all that I know.”

“ You probably won’t tell me but I will ask anyway, who is the big dealer that Liz was involved with.”

“ If I tell you am I off the hook with this charge?”

“ If it leads to an arrest and the finding of Ruth and Liz, we may be able to work things out, but please don’t mess us about by fingering someone you have a score to settle with.”

“ Try Jimmy Page, I’m sure your drug squad will know how to find him.”

The second dealer, after a bit of pressure admitted that the drugs belonged to him and his friend and that the girl was just holding the drugs for them in case they were searched. Along with a couple of other names he too mentioned Jimmy Page as a likely suspect for us

Jimmy Page was obviously a long way up the ladder, none of the squalid back street drugs haunts for him, he had a large house in its own grounds in a gated community down by the river at Bishopthorpe, South of the city. He was a typical master criminal refusing to allow Barry and I into the house without a search warrant and to talk to us without his lawyer. Frustrated at his attitude we were just turning to leave when we heard a faint cry for help from the basement. I gave a nod to Barry and he barged past Page, raced into the house and soon found the way down to the cellar. To his surprise and shock he found not just Ruth, but three other teenage girls all looking filthy, hungry, and scared. He left them there and quickly came back up grabbed Page, arrested and handcuffed him and called for backup and a forensic team.

Down at the station he was charged by Barry with kidnapping and false imprisonment and put in a cell until I got back to hold a formal interview, while I went in an ambulance with the girls to have them medically checked out before taking them in to give their statements.

Over the next few days in a series of difficult interviews, the story gradually unfolded. Page had used young girls as couriers to carry drugs to the street dealers, one of them sold some of the stuff herself and pocketed the money and tried to run away, but was caught by him and given such a bad beating that she died of her injuries and her body was buried in the local woods. Ruth and the other girls had seen the beatings and were locked away while he decided what to do with them. A search of the cellar of a shed in his garden had uncovered a large cache of Heroin, cocaine and all the various class 2 drugs, more than enough to send him down for a really long stretch, not even taking account of the kidnappings and murder. They also had found a big Aladdin’s cave of stolen Jewellery, computer and camera equipment, wallets and purses

I met up with the Regional drug squad at county headquarters and passed Page over to them for questioning about his involvement with drugs, but kept responsibility for investigating the kidnaps
and murder. Whilst they appreciated that I had handed them a major dealer their noses were a bit out of joint that I had unearthed someone they had missed and had intruded into their area of operation. CS Scargill however was delighted with what my team had done and came down to the station at Fulford to personally congratulate them all.

Ruth and the other girls gave us full details of what they had seen, what had happened to them, and how Page had blackmailed them into working for him by luring them into drug use, and they also identified some close associates of Page that they had come across. The others were allowed to go after agreeing to go into a rehab centre where we could be sure of getting in touch with them again, but we kept Ruth back to see if she could give us any idea as to what had happened to Liz.

“ Ruth, although you were involved in criminal activities, I trust you have learned your lesson that you are a lot better off getting away from the streets and the drug scene and try to make a decent life for yourself, and I am prepared to let you all go without charge, but don’t ever let me see you in here again. However the one bit of this case that is still unresolved is what has happened to Liz. Do you know where she is or how to get in touch?”

“ You are better off asking her sister Sally, they have a place where they leave each other messages when they get out of touch, sort of like a dropbox, we all move about a bit and may not see each other for days on end. Other than that I know that she has been in touch with her mother recently, maybe she might have an idea.”

Before letting her go, I passed her over to Barry to be interviewed about Page’s involvement with the stolen goods. It appeared that we were right, Page and his associates used the slim supple young girls to wriggle through small windows to get into houses, open the door to the burglars and leave them to ransack the place. Page them passed most of the stuff on to fences, but kept some of the speciality stuff for himself which was easily traced back to the burgled homes.

After a quick phone call to Josie, her and Sally soon arrived at the station, and I took them both into the interview room.

“Two things Sally, have you had any messages from Liz at your dropbox, and did you know that Liz contacted your mother just before she disappeared, make that three items, have you contacted your mother yourself? I have been very lenient with you and arranged for you to stay with Josie, so I deserve honest answers from you. If Liz has hidden herself because of fear of Jimmy Page, she need have no further worries, he and his close associates are all now in custody,”

“ Actually I was coming in to see you anyway. I got a message from Liz that she is back in Leeds at our mother’s place, the boyfriend is well off the scene now and Mam has started to get her life back on track again, having stopped drinking completely and going to AA. It was all the boyfriend’s fault that she got into the state she did, but he hit her once too often and she had to go to A&E, they reported it to the police, who found out a few other things he was up to and he is now in custody waiting to be sent down.”

“ That all sounds like good news, are you going back home now?”

“ I’m playing it by ear, I am obviously going to go and see them, but for the moment I am going to stay in York at Josie’s with her and Tammy, they have become good friends to me, and I have starting working with them at the Rose-acre care home. If everything works out ok I might go back to live with Mam and Liz, but I prefer it here in York.”

All in all it was a satisfactory couple of weeks, we had taken down a major drug dealer, solved a lot of burglary cases, got a few young girls to leave their lives on the streets and return to some sort of normality, and reunited Sally with her sister and mother. I was just seeing the girls out of the station when Sergeant Miller called me over.

“Just a minute Inspector, there is someone waiting to see you, I have put him in interview room 2.”

“What is this about Jack?”

“ Just go in and see him, you will find out soon enough.” he replied with a big grin.

I was surprised when I entered the room to see Lord Acklington sitting there looking very pleased with himself.

“ Good evening Lord Acklington, what can I do for you?”

“Inspector Rowntree, can we go back to being just Hal and Julie please, this is a sort of social call, all the formal business is over now, I hope.”

“ Ok we’ll start again, how are you doing Hal?”

“ I feel very bad about how I treated you and called you some names. But it wasn’t all just turning on the charm earlier to try to smooth your investigation into the Bugatti, I actually really enjoyed your company, you were a bit of fresh air compared to the country set I normally associate with. The last thing you told me was that I needed to sort my life out, and I have been doing that. Do you fancy going out to dinner and I will tell you all about it, and I can assure you that it is all, or nearly all, good news that I am sure you would like to hear.”

My first reaction , after having heard him call me a ‘nosy bitch’ and a ‘stupid bimbo” when we were investigating the theft of his car a few weeks earlier, was to tell him to get lost, but after a couple of weeks being in the company of drug dealers and street urchins, a few hours with a sophisticated, well-mannered member of the local aristocracy seemed like a bit of light relief.

“ I am just going off duty and if you come back to the apartment with me, and amuse yourself while I clean up and get changed, that sounds like an excellent offer.”

Having seen the girls dressed up and glammed up for the convention a couple of weeks ago I made a special effort getting myself ready and feeling feminine. A long shower with scented oils, my hair set up in rollers while I dressed in a set of lacy underwear under a “little black dress”and a pair of heels, my hair brushed out and sprayed and I was soon (well an hour and a half later) ready.

We drove in the Bugatti out to an ‘olde world’ country hotel about 10 miles out of the city where he had reserved a table for us while I was getting ready.

“ How did you manage to get a table here, they are normally booked up weeks in advance.”

“It wasn’t Hal that made the call, it was Lord Henry Acklington, the Earl of Linton, it usually manages to work a bit of queue jumping, are you impressed or disappointed that I could get away with it?”

“ The Earl of Linton ?”

“ Yes, the 10th Earl actually, did I never mention it, the title goes back to the early 1700s for services rendered by one of my ancestors alongside the Duke of Marlborough at the battle of Blenheim during the Wars of the Spanish Succession. Unfortunately it does not allow me to sit-in the House of Lords in Parliament anymore, that was stopped a while ago, but it still has its privileges, like booking a restaurant table or a top seat in the theatre.

Over an excellent dinner in a private room in the historic hotel Hal updated me on the changes in his lifestyle.

“I took your words to heart about sorting my life out, and decided that I was not a playboy youth anymore and that I needed to be more responsible. I have sold the Lamborghinis, which paid for the repairs to the Bugatti and left a nice bit of capital to work with, started playing the stock market again which topped that up considerably and I am now back on fairly solid ground again. The Hall costs an enormous amount of money for its upkeep, and if I am going to maintain to so that I can hand it over eventually to my son, I need to be a bit more circumspect with my finances.”

“ Your son? That’s another thing you failed to mention, any more big secrets, like a wife?”

“ Unfortunately, No, that was over a long time ago, she has since remarried and lives down in Sussex, but I have never bothered, my life and interests in recent years have been shared between the house and estate, fast cars, and making money with the hedge fund, there has not been too much time for romance. The good thing is that I have always had access to and good contact with my son and heir, Harry, who is now at university.”

Hal was an excellent and entertaining dinner companion, we chatted incessantly and time passed quickly, far too soon we were having an after-dinner coffee before setting off home.

“Christmas in coming up, have you any plans?” he asked.

“ Trudy and I were intending to just have a quiet day at home, and her boyfriend Mick is going to join us for the day, what about you?”

“ Like you, it will just be a quiet one, Harry and his girlfriend Rachel will be coming up, Cook will be preparing dinner before going off to her own family celebrations, and we will just be looking after ourselves after that. Why don’t you come and join us, there will be more than enough prepared? I really enjoy your company and the more the merrier, obviously Trudy and Mick will be welcome too and it will save me from playing gooseberry with the youngsters. You won’t have to worry about drinking and driving home either, there are more than enough bedrooms at the Hall than I care to think about.”

“ It’s very kind of you, and I appreciate it. I hope that I am not misreading the situation, but if you are making the first moves to a relationship, there is something you need to know.”

“ If you are going to tell me that you are transgender, I already know, word gets around. As far as I am concerned you are a charming attractive intelligent woman and you are a pleasure to be with. I am inviting you as a friend, that is all, please say yes.”

“ I’ll have a talk with Trudy to see what she and Mick want to do, and if they are ok with it, it sounds delightful and I will look forward to it. That’s a wonderful way to end this really enjoyable evening, thank you ever so much, now let’s get me back home, I have a full workload waiting for me in the morning.”

Later, lying in bed, I mulled over the last year or so. I had gone from recovering from my painful transition operations, restarting work as Julie, suffering abuse and prejudice at work, to be where I am now, successful in my career, happy and comfortable with my new life, changing the lives of people I had worked with and helped, and being out in the company of an actual Earl. Life was definitely on the way up.

To be continued.

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Comments

Up?

Podracer's picture

Certainly looks that way. A pleasant evening out after a productive period at work. I hope it continues for her. Life sometimes throws a curve grenade, with luck the worst to come will be frustrating unsolved cases and inclement weather. Maybe lost keys.

Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."

Looking up !

It's about time Julie had some luck in her personal life, curve-balls do not necessarily get thrown at you. Thanks for your comment.

Gill x

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Playing The Stockmarket

joannebarbarella's picture

It's not as easy as it sounds. The very phrase conjours up visions of getting rich quick, but trading requires a lot of luck. It really is gambling. Given Hal's fortunes to date, I doubt he has the skills or luck to make it work. If, on the other hand, he invests in solid companies that pay dividends he may make a comfortable income, but he will need more than the proceeds of the sale of two Lamborghinis as capital.

He's either a total optimist or he's not telling the whole story. Julie, if you are to become Countess Linton I recommend that you do a lot more research on this bloke before taking the plunge.

I do like this series. Please keep going.

Playing the stock market

Thank you for your caution over Hals intentions. Don't forget he set up a Hedge Fund in the City, so he has a lot of other people's money to play the market with to earn his percentage on, as well as investing his own money, he may be genuine.
Thanks for sticking with and enjoying the series.

Gill x

Jimmy Page?

There ought to be a cute quip here, but Led Zeppelin was never part of my playlist -- something better than wondering about our criminal trying to buy a stairway to heaven...

The name choice seemed a little distracting to me, anyway; it left me expecting some kind of a payoff. (Or was there one that I missed?)

Eric

Jimmy Page

As the standard disclaimer, 'any similarity between the characters and events and real persons is purely coincidental' . There is no suggestion that the Led Zeppelin guitarist and songwriter is moonlighting as a drug dealer and modern-day Fagin. Rather than a stairway to Heaven, my character is more likely to go down a stairway to Hell.

Many thanks Eric.

Gill x

A Darker Shade of Pale

Lucy Perkins's picture

Oh my goodness, this is a great chapter, but we have suddenly moved into darker lands, and not just because Jimmy Page ( one imagines not THE Jimmy Page?) has appeared,
This episode definitely felt like the first Series of "Line of Duty". Street urchins being used to transport drugs, kidnap and murder? All it needed was a corrupt police officer called The Caddy.
Thankfully, as ever, Gill's light touch and humour carried the day. It does sound as if Julie is falling for Earl Hal, though doesn't it?
If she falls for the "I am inviting you as a friend, that is all," line, she is more gullable than she should be.
Another really great chapter, Gill. Many many thanks. Lucy xx
Oh yes, and you did defeat me, I couldn't work a Led Zeppelin pun in to the title, without getting into relatively obscure lyrics...
How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air
'T was in the darkest depths of Mordor
I met a girl so fair
But Gollum, and the evil one
Crept up and slipped away with her

and all that.... Ramble On.

"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."

A Darker Shade of pale

You never know, Julie might yet be skipping the light fandango and turning cartwheels on the floor! ( How did we get from Led Zeppelin to Procol Harum ?).

As you say I try to keep a light touch on what could be dark subjects, more Life on Mars than Call of Duty.

Despite your reservations and cynicism Lucy, maybe Hal is being genuine this time.

Gill xx