"And it seems like everybody likes me lots better when I'm a girl, huh? Even Daddy. And do you too, Marsha?"

Letters from Sky

By Jan S

Part 11

 © 2008 by Jan S

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>>Monday, May 12 (midday)

Hi, Marsh,
Andrea is acting real weird to day!! Like friendly and talking to me. I had a hard time getting away to write you. Really. Maybe, she got into the booze or something, huh? But she didn't smell bad or anything, I mean no more than usual, which is probably cleaning stuff mostly.

But anyway, you remember when you told me about my talking about being a girl when I was like in kindergarten or first grade? Someone told me this morning I should ask more about that, OK? Like how much I meant it and how long? Do you remember? I've got to talk to Daddy about it too, and also about something I said to him when I was in the hospital after I did that stomach thing. Because I don't remember any of it either time.

So anyway, I'm supposed to ask, OK?

Bye, I'm going to take a nap because of not sleeping much when fishing.

Loves and Hugs,
Sky

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>>Monday, May 12 (night)

Hi,
WOW, Marsh. OK, so I was a real stupid, silly little kid. Don't rub it in, already. But I don't remember that and, I guess, Dr Ross thinks I should. I remember wanting to not be like that though. That was really a lot. I bet I messed up your studying, and I don't think you needed to. Thanks, and Daddy told me about some things too tonight.

OK, so you want to know all about Rodger, huh? OK, I guess I owe you since you wrote so much for me. He was sweet, and I think he is probably real shy at home and stuff, but you know vacation friends are kind of different.

Anyway, Friday night we ate in the restaurant right after we got there, and this boy, whose name turned out to be Rodger BTW, kept looking over from the next table and smiling and after he came over in the lobby and introduced himself, all real formal and nice, and asked if he could show me this neat place on one of the paths. And Daddy said, "No way," and he said that, even though most boys would be just fine, that that wasn't a good idea and way to big a chance for pretty people to take. :-) (He did, right to me.) And I'd not thought of that kind of thing, you know, it was just meeting a new kid, but he told me to start thinking about it.

And I don't think it would have been dangerous with Rodger really, but Daddy was right though. Because he let us go out and sit on the pier and pretend to fish, because we made way to much noise to get any, and that first time Rodger did put his arm on my shoulders, and I let him!

Then Saturday night we walked along the lake, and he talked all about his baseball team and a lot about the Suns and Shaq mostly (well, you know.), and he held my hand and then when he said good night at our cabin he tried to kiss me, but I didn't let him yet. OK?

That's all, and he was pretty cute with dark brown, but real short, hair and tall and in eighth grade and hates algebra, but smart enough to be in it. And OK, I did peck by his ear just before I went in, but that's all.

Anyway his Mom likes fishing most of all of them, which is why they had come there on Mother's Day and, when we were on our way back on Saturday afternoon, Daddy and I saw them, and they were all fly fishing for real in the river, and he was real good at it, but I never saw him catch anything that way, but his mom did twice.

Daddy and I caught trout too, but only real little ones, because we walked way up the stream and, by sneaking up on little pools staying in the shade, you can catch them there with just a line and without a pole, and I got three tiny guys, and Daddy four, but we let all but three go, and we ate those for dinner just sauteed in butter with potatoes (and chives, because every meal has to have something green, Daddy said). Oh, and we fished for bass on the lake and Daddy caught a giant one, and we let it go to become a record, but we brought the next two biggest (Both Mine, btw) home frozen and let the others all go.

So, I guess you figured out I didn't get to wear all boy clothes and things for the trip, huh? Actually, I was wearing my gypsy dress, with the zigzag hem you know, on Friday with the yellow top that ties at the bottom, and I did it with some of my tummy showing, and that was when I meet Rodger. But mostly I just wore those short sweat pants or shorts and Ts because it was a fishing place, but this morning I got to wear the long white skirt and the blue blouse which was lucky I'd brought because I almost didn't, and it was nice with my new necklace, but I didn't see Rodger at breakfast. I have his email, but I should wait for him first, right?

But the reason I did that, even though I had wanted to wear all boy stuff again for a while, was because I just felt real down after getting and writing that letter to Michael, and talking about it with Dr Ross too. And when I asked Daddy if it was OK, he smiled and said he had been wondering when he would get to see where all his money had gone. And I'm glad I didn't a lot, because it just wouldn't have been as nice or the same.

And oh, btw, I figured out why Andrea was so nice today too, Marsha, and she even made me learn how to stuff a chicken breast tonight too. After she had left I went into Daddy's bathroom to do all my clothes from the fishing trip, and she had already washed and folded them, including my panties, Marsh. And she vacuumed my room, of course, while I was gone this morning too, but now I have all the dolls that Kaezee put around. So now she knows I'm a girl, and so now she's nicer, of course, and so now it's OK for me to be around when she is here. (hehe)

And it seems like everybody likes me lots better when I'm a girl, huh? Even Daddy. And do you too, Marsh?

Whatever, I'm still tired, I guess. That's the bad part of fishing. Nite.

Loves and Hugs,
Sky

P.S.: But, Marsha, there's something else I gotta ask about. If I'd been wearing baggies and a black shirt or something, I might have gotten to know Roger, and he could have shown me the neat place on the trail then, but I couldn't have laughed at the funny things he said then. I would have moaned or something. And when we skipped rocks, we would both have had to try real hard to go further, or skip the most.

And when we were there, and walking down the mountain after fishing and all, I held Daddy's hand; and even when just talking to people at the lodge, I could stand or lean against him. And he could put his arm around me, and I don't think he used to mind doing that so much, but our mother would have glared at us or bit her lip and stuff even when I was like nine or ten or even less. Maybe it's because he didn't mind then, that she could make up in her mind some of the things she said she thought he did. But she didn't like me to do that with her either ever, not in front of people, unless it was because I might do something wrong.

But I could do all that this weekend, and it's all because I had tops with flowers on them or shell sleeves or spaghetti straps, and not dark grungy things. C?

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>>Tuesday, May 13th (morning)

Hi, Mar,
I forgot to tell you something important again last night. Daddy has to go to Boston, and then to that hospital in Minnesota again for a long time.

But, I guess I'm lucky I met Lisa and Ms Y. so quick, because I'm staying with them instead of having Andrea sleep here, because Daddy doesn't want me alone so long. That means I won't get to write you so much -- so you'll have to study harder, huh? -- because I'll be using Lisa's computer in her room, but I'll get to write some still.

He's going tomorrow, and he didn't tell me about 'til on the drive back to not mess up the vacation.

So, of course, that means I will have to be a girl the whole time there because of their maids and everything, and I don't know when I'll get to be good plain old Jude again. But it might be all right.

Besides I'm Jude right now and in school type clothes because some lady is coming to talk to me, and Daddy didn't tell me until today, but he wouldn't say what it was all about but didn't seem like it was something all serious and to worry about. But I have to look nice, and she's coming with Ms Y.

So I'll write you as much as I can when I'm over at their house, OK.

Cya

Loves and Hugs,
Sky

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>>Tuesday, May 13th (noon)

I'm in Marsh!!!
But I don't even know where!

They came, and the lady told me to sit in the living room, and Ms Y. went into the kitchen, and she asked if I knew what it was about, and I didn't, like I told you, and she said that she liked to do it that way so people didn't rehearse for her and hadn't even told Daddy until yesterday it would be today.

"But don't be nervous," she said; like ever saying that doesn't do the opposite!!

And then she asked me about subjects and my old school and teachers and stuff. And by then I knew it was a school interview, because I'm not totally stupid, you know. And she said she knew I had a real hard, hard year, and I just gulped, and she didn't ask anymore about it.

At the end she asked what I did when I was anxious about something and what times I got that way. And I said, I think I start talking fast and can go on and on and won't like stop, even if it's in the class and, also, I do it when I'm excited, even if it's something we're learning about but, if someone says I'm doing it, I stop real fast. And she said I was doing it right then, and I bit my lips, and she smiled, and I talked slower and told her how sometimes I'm just the opposite and get real shy.

And I thought I'd blown it, Marsh. But she said, "Sky, it won't be official until July, but there is no way I'm turning down a seventh grader who can do the work, wants to grow up to be a professional reader (I don't even remember talking about that!), and demands to be allowed to take Algebra in eighth grade." And then she shook my hand.

I'm not supposed to tell because she's going to call Daddy first, so don't say anything real soon about it.

Anyway, Ms Y. is taking her back somewhere and then taking me out to lunch, so she will tell me where it is, and I'll tell you later, and I got to change clothes real fast.

Bye,
Sky

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>>Tuesday, May 13th (night)

Well, Marsh,
I got in, yeah, but I flunked. Ms Y told me that it was the Hall, Westcott Hall, that I got into, but not about the other thing.

I've got to be a seventh grader all over again if I go there, Marsh. You don't mind do you? Daddy is like it's no big deal; it isn't a bad thing about me, but just about all the school I missed this year, and that because I had a lot on my mind the whole time, and that it is a real good school, and I knew that already.

I don't think I really mind and all, it's just what do I tell people forever? Daddy says I don't have to tattoo it to my forehead, and it's a private thing, only to tell the important people and they wouldn't hold it against me. And I guess that's mostly right, but I remember how some people treated some people because of it. But maybe WH won't be that way, huh?

But Daddy is real happy, and I'm happy to, I guess, it is where all the nicest people I know go to and all, right?

OK, but also the other bad thing for the day. Another Zack the Zero thing. He wasn't at the origami class to laugh at me for no reason, but then, when I was riding home, he and his "posse", were out in front of the Seven-Eleven when I was going through the parking lot, and he started yelling like, "Yooo Hooo, Jesse-EE" and stuff. And I ignored him and kept riding faster, and he ran out ahead of me and threw his drink at me and got it all over my top.

The little dweeb -- the super-dweeb I mean!! Do you think I should send him an email and threaten to send those pictures to the cops or his parents or something, Marsh? I'm really thinking about it, but I don't have the pictures, and it might not work.

So, like I told you, Daddy leaves for the hospital in the morning, and I won't see him after he drops me at my appointment. And I'm all packed and everything. He took me to get sushi tonight, both for going away and to celebrate getting in. We went to that same place because I haven't got any of Ann's yet, and I wore a tiered skirt and baby doll top because I'm already Judey-tan there, you know.

And you know what I've changed six times today, into boy's school stuff this morning, into a sun dress for lunch, into basketball shorts and a dark T for the rec. center, into tight shorts and a top when I got home because of Zack Zilch, into the skirt for sushi, and into jeans when my tutor guy was here. And now I got to change for bed (a long nightie, I think - hehe - :) ). It's kinda fun -- but I wish one wasn't 'cus of Slurpee all over me.

You know the lady this morning did say I was smart, kinda, didn't she? And she had seen my records and test and stuff. And Ms Y said the only strings she pulled was because of being so late, which wasn't that big of a string, and that she didn't have a big enough one to get someone that didn't belong there in. So I can't be uber-dumb, right?

Loves and Hugs,
Sky

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>>Wednesday, May 14 (afternoon)

Hi, Marsha
Daddy's gone. I don't know how long he will be in Boston, and how long he's at the hospital. But I have to file reports with him every single night before bed, and today's won't be any good because I did nothing on any of my computer classes stuff and only have an hour before Lisa and Wendy get back from their dance class.

But I'm all settled in. I had to take the bus back to the apartment, and then Connie came and got me, and Andrea helped me to pack though I'd done it last night, I thought. She's still being nice to me now, see. And Connie is too; that's their housekeeper, remember? And that isn't the same as a maid for them, it's more like in "Pride and Prejudice" times, they keep it real different because she tells the maids what to do.

Anyway, I'm in a guest room, which is way down a hall from the girls' rooms, and you have to go through the den place, which is just for them and called the playroom, I learned, to get to them.

I've got my own bathroom for just this room that's as big as ours back at home was. And there is another guestroom too with it's own one too next door. But the girls have to share the bathtub part but have their own sinks and thing.

So they have their own real bathroom, without it being a euphemism, right? But they call that the tub room, and the other rooms, without a tub, that they don't bathe in, those are the bathrooms. We sure do weird things to words, don't we?

But anyway, one of the maids did all my unpacking and putting my stuff in drawers for me, and acted like I was in the way. She even decided which animals went on the bed and which went other places, and stacked the books for me.

I, also, went into the living room and doodled around on the giant piano for a while -- well, partly because Ms Y. is right, it is hard to watch all these people working all around you, and that's a good place because no one goes in there much. Why else would it be called the living room, right? And I just thought of something else; the little part off the kitchen where we've always had dinner when I was here, they call that the breakfast nook, hehe, but at least they do eat breakfast there too, not in the dining room.

OK, I'm going to go watch for Lisa. It's easy to get lonely in giant houses, did you know that?

Bye
Loves and hugs,
Sky

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>>Wednesday, May 14th (night)

Hi, Daddy
Sky Eliot reporting as ordered, sir!

I didn't really get anything done on any of the courses today, because getting over here, and unpacking, and Connie showing me things took so long, Daddy. I'm Sorry. I'll do extra tomorrow, OK?

But, Daddy, I've been thinking. (NO -- don't say, "Uh-oh"!!!) Since I'm redoing the year now, do I still have to do all that stuff and have tutors? I mean, I did pretty good last year, right? In sixth. And now I'm just going to do the seventh grade stuff again, right? So couldn't I stop?

Also, I didn't even think about it at first, but you know that Lisa is going to be in my grade now. And that means I'm still a sixth grader, and all, already, at least too her. And, OK, she was happy, not mean, about it, but it is different, Daddy.

So, I'll do more tomorrow. I really will. I have to get out of this room because it is almost Lisa's bedtime. Is everything OK in Boston? When do you have to go to the hospital? I hope it goes OK.

Oh yeah, also, I was playing on their piano for some today, and remember when I asked about starting lessons? So I guess I haven't pestered enough, but when do you think I could? I'd really like to, I think. I'll take it seriously and all too.

Is the being in seventh all set, or could that still change if I do more on the computer classes?

I love you, Good Night, bye,
Sky

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>>Thursday, May 15th (morning)

Hi, Marsh
OK, boy, I'm really busy today, Marsh. I have to do a ton of my computer class stuff and things. And I've to go to the Rec Center for those classes too.

I'm hoping they might change their mind about all the flunking stuff if I can do enough of the classes. Do you know I'm going to be in Lisa's class next year if they do that? Or at least the same grade.

Anyway I did want to tell them all last night, and confessed about failing, and Lisa was really real happy that I'll be in with her and, you know, it's not like I didn't really think of her as a friend already, but this makes it different, to me at least. She didn't even act like it would be though.

Even when Ms Y said they will still need me as a babysitter sometimes, because of a law in this suburb that says there has to be thirteen-year-old, at least, in the house with a kid under twelve, Lisa seemed like it would be neat. She did suggest tying Wendy in the back yard though, but that was just a joke. And that would even be so next year, Ms Y. said, after Lisa's birthday next month, because that will just make her twelve.

But I don't know if it's going to get changed. I sure don't want to go to Ferral Hill (That's the boys only school that's with S.I.C.), or back to a dummy class, I guess. And Kaezee says that people that have brains will understand anyway.

OK, that's all really. I guess when you read this, you will be all done with your test, huh? Are you leaving for back to our mother's tomorrow? OK, I'll still write to you, but be sure not to save your password or something. Really, Marsh.

I have to get lots of work done. Bye.

Loves and hugs,
Sky

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>>Thursday, May 15th (afternoon)

In case you didn't get it, DORKUS, and it looks like you don't get things very well:

IF YOU EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN THOSE PICTURES GO TO YOUR PARENTS!!!!

Or if your little "posse" of friends do. Or if you throw things, or fingers, at me. Or ANYTHING else.

Got it? Is that clear? YOU OWN ME?? Because your friend saw my cousin or something? Forget it, Zack.

Or maybe I'll just send those pictures right to the police, huh?? And then to your new friends at Juvie Hall. They might not see "queer" the way you do!!

You following this?? What do you think will happen at Juvie to someone who sent that to someone they think is a boy, huh?

You DON'T own me. I OWN you, Zackary Zilch, and I throw you away. Now decay quietly. Because, if I hear you again, it happens!!

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>>Thursday, May 15th (night)

Hi, Daddy
I got two units of everything done today, and two and a half of the English class. I really, really did. I promise.

And no, I didn't mean that Lisa was different, or that I think I have to be the boss to be her friend, or any of that. It's just that it is going to be different. I don't know. Yes, I can see that there are lots of good things about doing the grade over too. But I feel weird. Maybe I can talk about it better when you get back.

But I did do a lot on them today, so my brain won't atrophy, OK?

Nothing else really happened, I went to cooking and fly fishing, and we just made icing, but not cakes. They did that last week when I wasn't there.

So, what else? Lisa had a choir thing today after school, and then Amanda, a friend of hers that I already knew, came home with her, and Wendy had some little boys from her soccer practice too, and they all went swimming, but I stayed out. Promise. But I did get wet from a squirt gun, and they all left before dinner.

You know, I think Lisa and Wendy have something to do every single afternoon. Tomorrow it's tennis lessons for both, and I'm going to watch.

OK. That's all the news I can think of. It's Lisa's bed time again, so I g2g. You do know that means "got to go," don't you?

I miss you lots, Daddy. Bye.

Loves, Daddy, Lots
Sky

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