Letters from Sky - Part 3

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"...and mostly we ignored the movie, and Lisa whispered jokes about Zack, and I denied them, and she told me about two boys that she likes: a cute one and a nice one, and I said go for nice -- unless he's totally gross. (Right answer for a girl?)"


Letters from Sky


By Jan S

Part 3

 © 2008 by Jan S


>>Sunday, April 6th (midday)

I really don't want to talk about her, Mars. OK?

I'm glad Jim was acting nicer; guess it will take awhile like you said. Yeah, Lit. and folklore don't sound like good careers. Wouldn't it be nice if learning about neat stuff could? You don't really think you want to be a librarian, do you really? I mean sitting around and just showing people where books are? But whatever. (Ya' don't look like one either!!)

Things went mostly OK last night, really. Mostly it was real nice, and fun. You said you wanted to know everything that happened, so this will be long, OK?

First, I taught them how to make Killer-Grilled-CheeZe sandwiches, with lots of butter and lots of grated cheese, (I didn't use any Worcestershire sauce or onion because they were like "yuck", and I guess they got to work up to that. And I told them about Dad's Welsh Rabbit, but they thought I was making that up, especially the beer part.). And that's what we had for dinner, (I made them both eat some green beans too -- I felt like a hypocrite and a half.).

And then we had lots of day light left, and Wendy wanted to go swimming, and I wouldn't let them. I told them I couldn't for two months, and because they might hit their head, and I couldn't save them, and we would have to ask their mom first anyway and all like that. And that was the first time I'd ever had to really say 'No' to them, and they were actually kind of surprised I did that but got over it, and we went outside to ride their scooters and kicked the ball around their front yard. I played goalie most of the time, and they could shoot hard, as hard as Chip and Bobby at least.

OK, here's the only bad part; two bad parts. First, Zack, that boy from the bus (remember?), came by on his bike, and he saw me before I saw him. And you know I was wearing that shirt. But he stops and starts talking to me, like regular. And Lisa and Wendy remembered not to call me Sky. He asked why I hadn't been on the bus lately. And I told him they gave me the shirt, but he acts like it's no big deal, and even says he wishes he could get a job like that and get some easy money. But you know, I hope the shirt wasn't too girly and stuff. -- Marsh, do you think I act like a girl or something? I mean -- I don't know what.

Well anyway, after he leaves, they -- Lisa mostly -- are saying he has a crush on me and stuff but, you know, he knows I'm a boy, not like them. He knows I was almost in his gym class and has seen me in the shirt with buttons and the slacks that I have to wear to school here.

OK, then the second bad thing; tell me if I did right. We were going to watch "High School Musical", and Wendy went in and got a cup of juice. As soon as the disc was in I sat down on the couch, and Wendy started to climb into my lap and spilt the juice all over my shorts, and it was real sticky, so I had to do something. So I go in the bathroom, and Lisa says I can borrow something, and she brings me a yellow skirt!! It's one of those ruffly ones, you know, at the bottom like a sewn on strip, and short too, Marsh. I yelled through the door and asked if she has some shorts instead, and she says none that would fit me, and I say how about just sweat pants or gym stuff, and she says they don't change in her grade. So I can't figure out what I should do, at all. I mean I think: ~OK, if they thought I was a boy, I could go hide in the laundry room or maybe just wear a towel or something, and hiding wouldn't be so good for a babysitter.~

But they don't think I'm a boy, and their mother doesn't want them to yet. So, the skirt isn't a lot different from a towel really, and so I put it on. And after awhile I got used to it. It was hard because we were sitting stretched out or on the floor, and they did see that I had on boxers, but I said, "They're comfortable, especially when in a skirt." And that worked OK because, I guess, lots of girls wear boxers, at least at my old school they did anyway sometimes, and those didn't have the slot at the front either, which was good. And there was only a tiny spot where the juice had got through the pocket onto them, which was real, real lucky, or I'd 'a been wearing panties too, I guess.

So then we watched the movie, and both of them take dance classes -- both at the Rec Center and at a place that sounds real serious -- and they taught me how to do the dances for all of it. And I got worn out by the end.

Then they wanted to paint their finger nails, and I let them, (at least I didn't have to jump around and stuff if they did that.), and they insisted on doing mine too, and I let them. We painted every nail in the house, I mean finger and toe nail, a different colors. I mean, they only had about seven colors that were from goodie bags at parties, but no two on any hand or foot matched, and the colors all had sparkles in them too. And they giggled like crazy for some reason while they did it.

Then we did a second movie, "The Princess Diaries", but I tell them to get ready for bed before we started it, and I'll make popcorn, so they will change quick, but they both came out without a thing on and carrying their PJs. And I tell them they should get dressed before they eat hot popcorn, but they plop down in front of the TV like that and say they do it all the time. So I just sit down and let them. Then they say I got to get ready for bed too, and I'm like "no - babysitter's privilege", but they wouldn't go for it, and started pulling off my shirt until I said they were going to ruin it, and it was their present.

By then they had it up near my shoulders, and Wendy said, "Sky, your titties are almost the size of Lisa's." And I thought the jig was up, you know.

But Lisa says, "Shut up! Don't say things like that, Wend. People's grow at different times and speeds. And Sky is real skinny." (I don't think I'm really that yet.) I took my shirt off the rest of the way and went to the bathroom to change. (The thing is that when I lost all that weight the last of it stayed on my chest, you know? So, at least for last night, that was a good thing, huh?)

I wore a pair of old scrubs that I've cut short and a huge t-shirt that covers the shorts to sleep in. I thought that would work because you used to wear that stuff. Anyway, they didn't say anything about it, and they had their nighties on when I got back.

We had worked out that Wendy had to lie down on the sleeping bags at ten, and had to try to sleep at ten-thirty, and I told her that I would tell her a story at ten-thirty too. I had planed out "Tippy Tippy Toe Toe Noso Rimbo...." -- I had to make up the rest of the name. Do you remember telling me that story? The whole name? I didn't get a chance to use it though because she was asleep before then.

Lisa didn't have a bed time, and we watched the whole second movie and started the sequel but with the sound real low because of Wendy. I took the polish off my hands (like I'm gonna let Dad see that), and I told Lisa it was because I couldn't wear it to school, but she was disappointed I did. Her school allows it, but I said mine said, "No make-up," which it does.

Then we both spread out on the sleeping bags, and mostly we ignored the movie, and Lisa whispered jokes about Zack, and I denied them, and she told me about two boys that she likes: a cute one and a nice one, and I said go for nice -- unless he's totally gross. (Right answer for a girl?) I don' know when we went to sleep but not very far into the third movie, because I can't even remember it.

So, I slept all the way to the next morning and don't remember any of that. And after doing that, I woke up in the morning. :)

And Wendy and Lisa and their Mom were already all in the kitchen, and Wendy was begging to go to the country club for the breakfast buffet, and her mom was saying no, and already had out sausage and pancake stuff.

As soon as they had finished saying good-morning Wendy said, "But Sky could just borrow one of Lisa's dresses, really. We haven't been for a long time."

But Ms Y. just sort of ignored her, of course, and reminded her that she had homework to do and a play date with some friends later anyway.

Wendy said, "A 'play-date'! Geez, Mama."

And Ms Y. said, "Excuse me - an appointment to engage in shared amusements." Which I though was real funny anyway. And that changed the subject.

So right after breakfast, before I'd gotten dressed, Dad shows up to get me, and I was helping to clean up (yeah, well being a guest and getting paid and all) but stop and go put on my clothes. So, when I come back Lisa has already asked him if I could come to the club and play tennis with her this afternoon, which we had talked about last night too, and he says, "Well, Jude really needs to get that mop cut, and I have a hard time finding time to get it done."

But Ms Y says, "You won't find a good place on Sunday, Dave. I can take Sky to the place I take the girls tomorrow afternoon. They need to go too."

And I'm like: "What!!" Because I know she knows I'm a boy and think I'm going to a beauty shop.

But she adds to me, "It's not a fancy place, Sky. It specializes in children's hair -- and young teens, like you too -- both boys and girls."

But I told her I had to see a doctor then, but she says, "even better," and wants to take me on Tuesday because she has to go near there while the girls are at dance. And Dad finally agrees so I can't argue.

Then Dad and I left, and so I'm playing tennis in just a while with Lisa (And Wendy is mad because she won't be there, I think.), and "getting my hair done" on Tuesday.

You know, Dad asked if I minded spending so much time with them, but I don't. They're OK.

OK, for tennis I'm going to wear those white with blue shorts of yours that I told you I found and a white polo, also one of your old ones, but you said that was OK, right?

So this was tons and tons long, but you said you wanted to hear all about it, and I like 'talking' to you. :) Really.

I'll leave you alone for a while after all this. No more letters today. Promise.

Bye and love,
Your sib, Sky



>>Sunday, April 6th (evening)

Oh, Gaw, Marsh.
You're not going to believe this -- they know!! And Lisa tried to black mail Me! But I think it's OK, I don't know -- not OK -- weird.

I went to the tennis courts and all and, but they were real crowded and, you know, when I play really I just bat the ball around, but there were lots of grown-ups playing real games, so after about ten minutes on the court I'm kind of embarrassed about being watched, and I think Lisa was the same way. And she says we should go and get something to drink, and we take them over to the grass behind the courts, and as soon as we sit down she says, "So, how much you getting paid for today?"

And she sounded weird too all the sudden. I say, "Nothing. This isn't a job. I wanted to do this with you because we're friends."

And she says, "Yeah. So how long are you going to go on with all this, huh?"

And I was all: "HUH!" but my throat kind of closed up.

And she says, "Sky -- Jesse, we know your a boy."

And I say, "Oh, how long?" But hardly anything came out I think, but something must 'av, because she answered.

"Forever!" She said. Then said, "I suspected because I thought I'd seen you waiting for the bus, in boy's school clothes. Then at the movie, when we went to the restroom, and you said you were getting drinks, Wendy wanted to change her drink and thought she saw you going into the boy's. But we still weren't sure, and Wendy sat on you lap in the movie to see if she could feel anything but couldn't..."

She smirked at that, and I don't know if I was madder or embarrassed-er.

"...but then you were talking to that big snot, Zack Philips, about getting out of gym, and even Wendy knows boys and girls aren't in the same gym classes."

"I'll just quit sitting, Lisa, if you want me to," I said, and, "I thought you and Wendy thought I was a good babysitter and liked me. I'm a real idiot!"

"Oh," she says, "You can keep doing it. But you won't be the boss and, if you don't give us half, I'm going to tell everyone that you pretend to be a girl. Starting with Zack Phillips."

"I don't pretend to be a girl!" I said.

"Oh, like boys wear skirts and paint there finger nails, and wear baby-blue shirts with sequins and all the stuff you did."

So I was scared, Marsh, but even more I was just feeling terrible. I mumbled, "I was trying to do stuff you and Wendy would like."

And Lisa got even meaner. She said, "Oh, after tricking us and our Mom that way you're going to cry."

I said, "Lisa, I didn't think you were like this at all! Good job of pretending by you too!! I didn't ever tell you I was a girl! I didn't know any of you thought that until after you gave me that shirt -- and you knew it would be hard for me not to wear it, didn't you?"

And Lisa was quiet, and I was thinking and think I did that good.

I said, "So, girl, the shirt and all of last night was just fake. To see what I would do, huh? But I tricked you!? And you're really planning on telling all your friends and everyone things you did to see what I would do. And that you have to have a babysitter at all. I was in sixth grade and know that everyone does, but they all deny it. And, Lisa, there is another secret too! Are you going to explain why I helped you change you sheets? Or what the padding around your middle last night was for?"

And she gulped and said, "You wouldn't tell that! You promised!"

And I laughed and said, "Actually, what I said was, 'No friend would ever tell about that about a friend.' But we aren't friends, are we?" (and that is what I had said too. Lucky, huh?)

So then she's crying, and I said, "So - see what it feels like. But don't worry, Lisa, I won't tell people until you start and then no one will believe me. I don't think I could do that to you even then, really."

And I start to stand up, and she grabs my arm and says, "No, Sky, I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to think and stuff and sometimes I forgot about it and... Please."

And I'm not sure to believe her or whatever, but I sit, and she said, "I wish I hadn't said anything and, if someone has to sit me, I want it to be you. And when I saw that shirt I wanted to get it for you because it's true. Really - you should see lots of 'em, - and then realized it would be a test like. -- But if you had just told us."

So I tell her again how I didn't realize, and that then I didn't because I didn't want to embarrass her and stuff. Then she hugs me! I mean like a good friend hug.

I said we should just tell her Mom, and how Ms Y. might already know too. But she is like: "No Way!" and sure her Mom would go ballistic and everything, and I can't really argue though I know she wouldn't so much.

So Lisa wants me to keep (and I tell her it would be 'start') pretending to be a girl when I go over, and I'm like I don't want to lie, and she is like it will just be not telling, and besides if her Mom finds out she knew she will be in trouble, and so I try to talk her into telling her Mom and say not telling longer will make it worst, but she says at least another week, and she and Wendy will talk about how I'm a tom-boy and then be surprised later.

And Marsh, it was like we were still friends after that. Because I saw Becky and Ann, they were there because it's first weekend (which is always right after 5th, and I had forgot), and we played doubles, and it's not as bad four people screwing around hogging a court as two, right? And we were like all laughing and stuff, and it's only when we got apart that I wondered if she is really sorry and OK. You know?

But -- so that is where we are -- or I am. Ms Y. knows but doesn't want to tell the kids because they will be angry at her. The kids know but don't want to tell their mom because she will be mad at them. Real nuts, no?

Do you think that I'm not lying because I don't tell them what the other knows?? Is it sort of their secrets now, so I don't have to tell at all?? I don't know -- Gaw, how could this happen? They all must be really dumb to have ever thought I was a girl anyway, right?

But they are nice, I mean were, and I think really are, but that kind of scares me, but I can see that they would be surprised and mad too.

I hope they're nice; I don't want to lose them as friends, 'cuz I don't got many. Even Ms Y. is, you know? But this can only get worse -- it's like a Nick-at-Night show (one of those really old sit-com things), only those were always about keeping a dog or getting a bad grade, not about being a girl!

Speaking of grades - school sux (have I said that before? :-P ) and I should go do homework -- I guess it might distract me.

Glad I got you to tell this to (I mean can you see me tell Dad? Even though he is easier to talk to now -- I mean really!)

With a Lota Love, Marsh
Sky

P.S.: Hey, Marsh, you want to meet up in a chat room somewhere some time? I know you won't do IMing because you're so OC when studying, but we could do a chat thing, huh?


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Comments

must be a knack

kristina l s's picture

You manage to get into the mind of young kids and make me believe, I know I can't do it. That little scene of conflict was just so true. Seems Sky by his actions is a thoughtful and nice guy and maybe just a pinch open to possibilities. I can't help wondering just what big sis is thinking or writing.

Kristina

I know nothing about kids.

Especially American kids :) It's also a very long time ago since I was one - almost no TV (I remember its starting up) certainly no computers and at an all-boys school so girls were a whole different breed. Never had any kids either. So when I say you make all this sound authentic bear in mind that I'm not a very good judge but I am enjoying this story. Whilst in some ways it would be nice to read the other half of this conversation I think it works better this way; it piques the reader's imagination.

Geoff

Lisa

Did the two children really know that Jesse was a boy? I know Lisa is eleven, and she said she was in the 6th grade, so that means she is not in the same building that Jesse would be in. So how did she know about Gym class I wonder? Or the bus stop incedent? Or the clothes he wears to school?

Just a thought.

Lisa sure is learning to be a little scheming coniving B* isn't she, and so young too. I wonder how she will be when it really matters. I'm glad Jesse had that embarrassing moment on her so he could damage her just as bad as she was going to try to damage him. Seems there isn't harmony after all.

Great story so far, seems to be a lot of secrets flying around. I wish Jesse would stick to his guns and keep everything in the open, but them we wouldn't have a story.

I wonder how Wendy really feels about all of this? Is she like her sister, or does Wendy really feel that Jesse is a girl, and Lisa is wrong about it?

Hugs
Joni

They Know...

Joni - Lisa says that she (and Wendy) heard Sky and Zack talking about gym class, so that's how she knows. Re the bus stop, that wasn't at school; that was on the street on the way to school -- and wherever she saw him she could see the clothes he'd worn or was wearing to school that day.

As for Wendy, it certainly sounds as though she knows: she thought she saw Sky headed for the men's room at the movie theater, heard the same conversation about gym class that Lisa did, and Lisa says that Wendy knows that there aren't any co-ed PE classes in seventh grade.

So it seems pretty clear that everyone's on the same page with that.

Eric

Dark side of the feminine

Joni W writes:

Lisa sure is learning to be a little scheming coniving B* isn't she, and so young too. I wonder how she will be when it really matters.

This particularly interests me in light of Jan's blog entry, Things I don't understand:

Horrible Women: (Mothers or wifes or girl friend) This goes along with the above, I guess. But if women are the hell-bent-on-humiliation, manipulative, vicious creatures shown in many stories, how is that femininity is tied to gentleness and kindness?

The truth is that all of human nature -- feminine and otherwise -- includes the capacity for all of these things (both the positive and the darker ones), and we humans are capable of manifesting any one (or several) of them at any given time. Jan ably demonstrates that those darker aspects of human nature live within her by having been capable of writing from that energy in a story, and Joni's response to it is evidence of its authenticity and total plausibility. That I can also recognize the authenticity of this scene demonstrates that those dark aspects live in me as well -- as the 12-steppers say, "If you spot it, you've got it."

However, in British and American culture, at least, we really are taught that girls are "sugar and spice and all things nice," as Jan indicates in her blog entry, while boys are "snips [whatever those are -- Mother Goose revisionists in England have substituted 'toads', 'snakes', and other unsavory creatures] and snails and puppy-dog's tails." (I know that one anecdote does not a sound sociological research project make but, in discussing with a former woman friend a row I once had had with her, she revealed that she had been taught to believe that rhyme, with the clear implication being that the lesson she had taken away from it was that it was OK for her to treat men poorly. Note: I was in male guise, and she did not know of my TG-ness.) Other cultures recognize the dark side of feminine energy; in Hinduism, it is personified as the goddess Kali, consort of S(h)iva the destroyer, on whose body she is often pictured standing. In the west, though, since femininity is strongly identified with positive mother energy, this dark or "Kali" aspect of the feminine becomes shadow (cf. Carl Jung).

I'm glad Jesse had that embarrassing moment on her so he could damage her just as bad as she was going to try to damage him.

In the same blog entry as I cite above, Jan asks of humiliation stories, "What is the attraction?" True to her expressed distaste for such things, she has Jesse stand up for himself, and more: he becomes a mirror, so that Lisa sees her dark side -- her assumptions, her projections, and her malice -- reflected back at her. My mentor once used to say, "If you want people to understand what they are doing to you, put them in the same position they are putting you in."

Great story so far, seems to be a lot of secrets flying around. I wish Jesse would stick to his guns and keep everything in the open, but them we wouldn't have a story.

I can't agree with that last bit. We wouldn't have the same story, but I have no doubt that Jan could still write one from the premise that everything comes out into the open. Jesse's position in "turning the tables" upon Lisa would have been considerably strengthened had he said to Lisa that he told her mom when he first realized that she had mistaken him for a girl, and that her mom had instructed him to keep quiet about it. Instead, Jesse allows himself to become entangled in a web of deceit (which has him continuing to pose as a girl) out of his fear of loosing a relationship that he still sees to be good. It will be interesting to read the rest of the story, to see where Jan decided to go with that.

Molly

"Sometimes, I just can't help myself!" -Babs Bunny

Molly

"Sometimes, I just can't help myself!" -Babs Bunny

I got the hints of confused hurt and pain

mixed in with all the other things in this great little story. I got a kick out of the comments you got here too. All marks of a great writer.
*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers