It's hard to cope with having your world view turned upside down. As crossdressers we all know society disapproves of us. We hide in closets, shop in catalogs or venture timidly to the women's section if suitably inspired. For those of us who are significantly over the norm in size it is a challenge to find a nice dress. That's the conventional wisdom, isn't it?

Recently I went to my local discount emporium for some clothes shopping, and I assure you I had no intention of shopping for my feminine self. First on the agenda was to find some sleepers for my 10 month old grandson. Having found my way to the unaccustomed environs of the children's section I began my search. I found that the Fashion Gods of children' clothing seem to be unrelated to the Fashion Gods of women's clothing.

I'm sure you've noticed how the alleged size of a dress shrinks as it's price inflates. Good psychology, that, makes sense for marketing and advertising. I love being able to wear a size twenty! This doesn't hold true for infants, however. Kids clothes are allegedly sized by age, and at ten months he's bigger than the Fashion Gods conception of a three year old. I searched in vain, the poor kid is going to have to sleep in the nude (well, almost) until he's old enough to fit into pajamas, which seem start at size five. I'd offer to make him a nightgown, but I don't think my daughter's understanding would stretch that far.

Finding myself thwarted I soldiered on to task two, my boots had worn out and coping with a northeast winter demands something more substantial than a pair of sneakers. I swear it was January when I entered the store (snow, wind and all that sort of stuff) but inside the store it was high summer. Not a pair of boots to be found. Sandals, sunglasses and swimsuits, yes; heavy rubber boots - not a chance. You buy those in summer to be ready for the winter, don't you know?

My frustration level was mounting, but I had one more errand to complete. I have recently changed jobs and work in an office now. My previous work pants and T-shirt are no longer suitable attire and I needed some new pants and shirts. Feeling rather out of place I found the men's department. It seems the Fashion Gods of men's clothing must be related to those of children; they had decreed men grow no bigger than size 40 (there were one of two pairs in that size as a sop to the unfashionably large).

I also needed socks, plain old black polyester crew socks. I admit I'm a nerd; with a drawer full of black socks I never have to worry about finding a matching pair. So I found wool, cotton, patterns, ankle length, just about every variety except mine. That did it, I'm afraid I snapped.

I can take a hint. The Fashion Gods were punishing me for my sacrilege. I turned my cart to the Women's section and found a lovely turquoise number in size 24 (on sale, of course!), some matching pantyhose and even got a new bra to wear under it. As I see it, mercantile society is forcing me to crossdress, so who am I to argue? I just hope my new boss understands.