I was beside myself after getting home from my date with Travis. There was no denying to myself that I liked being Andrea and I liked Travis. I hoped Terra would be home and calling me soon, but it didn’t happen. Leah soon got home but her friend Carly was with her to spend the night. Carly was happy to meet me. We already knew each other but I had always been Andrew, Leah’s boring, sometimes cute, little brother. Now I’m Andrea of Andrea’s Threads, Leah’s noted little sister.

Heidi had already been home but went to a friend’s for the night. That possibly meant she was with her date for the night, but it wasn’t what she told our parents. If she wasn’t alone with him she was going to be running around until sometime in the morning. I always wished I was as old or got away with things like my sisters.

I had been to my room and out several times, talked to Leah and tried watching TV several times before Mom said, “Andrew what’s your problem?”

“Mom, I’m not sure I’m comfortable telling you. Actually, I’m sure that I’m not comfortable.” I sit down and bury my face in my hands. ‘I know mom is going to insist I tell her and that she’s going to get her way. But I don’t want to lose all I’m doing.’

Mom sits next to me, “It has to do with your date, doesn’t it? Most of us thought the biggest problem would be if you enjoyed it. Is that it?”

I’m shocked, “Mom, I didn’t know. How could you or anyone anticipate I’d like my date with Travis? Goodness sake, I’m a boy, you expected me to like going out with him and you let me!” I’m kind of glad she didn’t explode, but that was what I expected. “But Mom, we danced, at first we didn’t even touch and that was how we planned it to stay. But he came not to mind being nice and warm to me. We even kissed, and well …we both kind of liked it. Then a slow dance came up and I thought we’d take a walk because he wouldn’t want to dance with me. But he pulled me to him. The dance felt good Mom, doesn’t that upset you?”

“I just wanted to celebrate what I’ve done but I’m liking being me. A boy hugged me as Andrea, he saw me as an ordinary person, a girl. Andrea is not just an image Mom, she’s me.”

Mom asks, “Does that mean you’re not Andrew?”

I pause trying to figure out how to answer her, and then it hits me. “I guess you already know somehow I still am. I enjoy being Andrew and someone others can’t figure out. How can they, but I want you, dad and Leah to know.”

Mom gives me a hug, but moves back and take my hands. I guess it’s so we can face each other as we talk. She says, “I confess Andrea, I was more than a little uncomfortable letting you go on your date. But as I said, those in the family as well as Terra, Ms. Miller and JC, well we love you. We don’t want you hurt, but we thought you need to understand you’ve become Andrea as well as Andrew. One counselor I’ve talked to said if you didn’t come to acknowledge that your denial would likely bury the idea of Andrea being real. If we weren’t ready for you to become visible; then we should stop everything before it got any further down the road. That was before the date and without Andrea being part of yesterday or today.”

“You and Dad wouldn’t have done that would you? I’d have hated…”

Mom says, “Hated us, we understood that. Hopefully, you would have forgiven us, but that wasn’t certain. Hopefully, if it was what we should have done, we’d have done it, anyway. Your Dad hated being gone and not being here tonight.

“We agreed, we needed to let you be Andrea and experienced what you did. We’d love to have all the answers, but we don’t. It is not about you being famous or anything. It is about you as Andrea and Andrew and whatever happens. We want it to be healthy for you and you to know you have our love and support. Dan feels awkward, he knows he’s not your Dad. But he feels it is important to be there for you if you want or need him.”

I’m now sitting back, “Wow Mom, I thought I had the best Mom. Now I know it. This has to be as tough on you as it is for me. I know I’m going to be tough on you as Andrea and Andrew. You’ve allowed all three of us to become what we can be. Sometimes I think you must regret that.”

“I am sure dad did. It can’t be easy for Dan; but finally, I got a Dad. I hope he doesn’t come to regret being my Dad. Even as a son he’s not going to get what he probably expected.”

It was sometime after 1:00 a.m. that Mom finally answered Dan’s call. She told him things were okay but that she tells him that in the morning. I suggested we go to bed. She suggested if I wanted to get ready for bed. I could but we’d talk while I was getting ready. She gave me my first pill of a hormone blocker. “I hope you don’t mind my staying in with you Andrea. I know you’re a grownup teenager, but I want to know Andrea.”

“Likewise Mom, I think we both need some time with each other. Most girls know their moms since being small. I’ve been afraid. I was afraid earlier and again when I came home. I felt bad about being me. You seem to understand better than I do.”

I am out of the shower with a towel wrapped around me and I’m using a moisturizer and pinning up my hair. I am so happy when Mom helps me. I think she thought I might act indignant. She pinned-up the back, better than I. She even helps me to put on a pretty nightgown as I let the towel fall.

Mom even tucks me in, asking, “Are you ready for a prayer and a goodnight kiss? My hands come up together for prayer as I close my eyes. “O God, I bring my girl to you. She’s afraid to be. Afraid that she might not be loved or accepted. I too as her Mom cares about her and that she is loved and healthy. Andrea seems as real as Andrew. I am amazed by her maturity. She is so loveable. She and Andrew have gifts to share. Help her to truly know what it means to be the woman she’s becoming…” There was silence and I knew she hoped I too would pray.

“God, I’ve already talked to you many times. You know I am both excited and afraid. I even kissed and like being with Travis tonight… Amen.” My eyes teared when she kissed me goodnight.

Sunday we went to church as a family, but I insisted I was sitting in the balcony of the church. I didn’t want people looking at me since I had always gone dressed as Andrew. Leah sat with me. Peg, Alonzo, and Teri came and sat with us. I complimented Teri on her outfit. Later she asked if I was going to design a copycat. I guess it was a valid question, but it was purely a compliment. I did tell her, “I like your taste in clothes,” she’s what I call a sharp dresser. We are not particularly close, mostly we’re friends that go to the same church and take part in youth events.

Teri said, “I thought your clothes would be more expensive, but the store lady said that’s the market you’re targeting.” I generally like church, but I can’t say it held my interest today.

My folks tend to greet and visit with some friends after church, and today was no different. One group of boys did ask Heidi, “Where’s your brother today?”

She said, “This is Andrea.”

The boys say, “No, we asked where Andy is?” One boy did look at Andrea and may have realized I was Andy. Two girls came up to Andrea with their smartphones and asked her, “We were thinking about getting these clothes. What do you think?” It became a fifteen-minute conversation with Andrea giving several alternatives. When asked about them stopping over, Andrea said, “I’m working at the store three days this week. I’d prefer visiting then, but if it is just as friends call me.”

I’m to see Dr. Saga Dotter again my Psychiatrist; she’s connected to both to North State University and the North State Medical Center at Central City. So I will get to see the apartment complex Dan bought at State Center. State Center is five miles away, but our apartment complex is on the east side on the road leading to the University and Medical Center.

I’m already comfortable with Dr. Dotter and glad to be seeing her. I’m also glad the last visit was as Andrew, so I could go today as Andrea. Dr. Saga had some blood drawn from me, the last time I saw her. “Andrea, I’m not sure if it is good news or not, you will have to decide that. There are signs that your body is maturing, and a full dosage of the testosterone blocker would be warranted if you are wanting to be Andrea in more than your personality.”

I excitedly say, “You already know that I do; what do you mean if?”

“Calm down young woman: you and your parents know I need to go through the formalities. I don’t mean to upset you. It is necessary to confirm things before we move on and a decision becomes finalized that you understand. We need to know you are not making any decisions under any duress.”

“Isn’t it clear by how I’m dressed that I want the option of being Andrea; as Andrew, I’m not worried about the macho look?”

Saga says, “Am I to attach a photo of you today and say she wants the option of continuing to look like this?”

“You made your point. Yes, I want the hormone blocker and I would even like help in being Andrea. Can we talk about that?”

She says, “For a male, your body is already producing more estrogen than the average boy. I am not your medical doctor, but I anticipate he will want to see what effect the estrogen production has when you’re taking the full dosage of the testosterone blocker.”

I smile as she asks, “Let me change the discussion and ask about the past ten days. Except for some time at school you’ve been dressing mostly as Andrea. You’ve had the exhibition for your new clothing line and even dated a boy. I was going to ask how Terra took that but word is she helped to set up the date.”

Finally, I become a bit nervous in talking, “I didn’t expect to like dating a guy, but it was like a normal girl thing to do. I thought I was just kind of stepping through things as Andrea. He thought the same thing as the evening went on and we relaxed. Well, I found myself attracted to him. I kissed him pretty sure it would be gross, but I liked it. It’s not like I want surgery or to get serious with him, but I’m not a regular boy. I don’t even see myself as being gay. It’s as Andrea I’m attracted to him.”

“I was afraid to tell my Mom or Dad… That’s another thing, I like Dan as my Father. Get that my step father’s becoming my Dad. And it’s sad to say, but my father well, he’s renewed his interest because sees me with dollar signs.

“Back to coming home from the date and talking to my Mom or my sister. Neither of them was surprised, I liked dating Travis or that I felt confused. I guess I was the last one to acknowledge that I like acting like a girl, and accept part of me is Andrea.”

We didn’t have enough time to visit as we both wanted. Instead of waiting two weeks or a month for more appointments, the next three are scheduled a week apart. She also called to Dr. Higgins and has me scheduled for another appointment there.

Much to my dismay, I’m to be Andrew for three days straight.

On our way home we checked out the apartment building. We even got to see two apartments that I might be using. Brad from the university was living in one as one of three guys. He got the nerve to ask me, “What year are you in school?” He got a big smile when I said I’d be a junior this coming year.

Mom deflated his interest when she told him, “That’s a junior in high school.”

He smiled saying, “I thought that was too good to be true.”

When we were away from him and out of earshot, I asked, “Mom tell me he wasn’t interested in me, thinking I’m a junior in college?”

“Andrea, he was believing what he wanted to be true. It doesn’t sit well with me that a college student is interested in you. It would be funny if he told a college woman he met you and she knew of you from the fashion world.”

I ask, “Would she likely say something good or that he was naïve taking interest in me?”

We stopped in State Center to get an ice tea and to chat. Shortly after we were served and sharing a scone; a college woman came up to our table. “Pardon me and please excuse me for interrupting, but might you be Andrea, Andrea Stephens of Andrea’s Threads?”

“I could be… I mean I am, but how did you guess?”

She says, “I’m Meg Lach, I’m a student at the University and we heard a rumor that you might be coming here. Most of us didn’t seriously you’d be coming here.”

I ask, “Would you mind sitting down for a while and tell me if that would be a bad choice or something?”

She sits down across from me, “No, we have a great program; it’s just someone who’s famous well one doesn’t expect that here.”

Mom wants to speak, I’m sure to tell her I’m in high school. However, it’s me, “I’m coming here to go to high school and take a college class or two each semester.” I can see her looking at me trying to figure something about me. So I ask, “If you’re thinking something please just be straight forward, please. Better yet, if we’re to be friends tell me a little about you?”

She says, “I’m Megan, I’ll be a second semester sophomore with a double major in fashion design and media technology. I just lost a boyfriend because I study too much and put out too little. Sorry I didn’t mean to say that. Right now I’m nervous meeting you and to be honest upset someone younger is so far ahead of me. …I probably shouldn’t have said that either.”

She says, “Let me ask a question, no… I’d rather slow down and really be a friend if I can before that question is asked. Why would you want to be friends with me?”

I say, “This is my Mom, Michelle Stephens Johnson and I have sisters Heidi and Leah. Leah’s already a student here. I’m sure you know who JC Harper is. Well, she’s the one suggesting me to get my education and be a complete person. Being a complete person is a little complicated for me. This has been a crazy year for me and I’m not sure where or who’ll I’ll be when all is said and done. I can’t believe it is happening to me either and not someone like you. I guess I was in the right place at the right time. That might have happened again when I met you.”

Megan says, “Now you’re putting me on.”

I say, “Think of it Megan if you’re me. How important would it be for you to make a real friend? I’m knowing more and more people, at least I’m meeting them. How many will I get a chance to be real friends with? …You already think you know something about me, but you’re willing to take the time to know me. Yea, I’m more than meets the eye and that’s all I’d rather say just now.”

Megan says, “Thanks for calling me Megan, I prefer that. My understanding is you have two sisters and a step-brother you didn’t mention. But an internet search says, Heidi and Leah, have a brother Andrew, who was kind of spoiled. But you weren’t mentioned when I looked up Leah. You’re not what I expected not only are you very attractive, but you’re likable, probably intelligent.”

“I too met JC Harper and she’s impressed me, but I’m not on a first-name basis with her. I’d love to be friends but as I said, I might have trouble with you being so likable.”

“Mrs. Stephens, should I be calling you, Mrs. Stephens-Johnson?”

Mom says, “Better if you just said, Michelle. Thanks for being warm and open.”

Megan says, “Don’t get me wrong, I can be a hellion if I let my hair down.”

Mom says, “Don’t worry, I’ll be here once a week, daily if need be to keep my daughter from going too far overboard.”

I said, “Your friends have already left. I hope they didn’t leave you with the check. …Seemingly you know enough about me that you know the clothes I have out. What’s your impression?”

Meg says, “I like what you’ve done. I’m surprised that you’re succeeding in selling in between cheap and the higher end. I did remember Harper was interested in that, but she wondered if that market could be profitable. …Regarding the check, my friends know I can’t afford more than my share like either of them.” Her friends came up behind her from someplace.

“Hey Meg, you forgot us. So we’re leaving.”

Meg stands up, “Elle and Sam, let me introduce you to Andrea Stephens and her mom Michelle. Andrea’s up and coming in the fashion world. And yes, she’s going to be taking some classes at the U along with finishing high school. Andrea and Ms. Stephens these two are Elle Stark a biology major and Samantha Harden an education major, minoring in sandbox engineering.”

Elle says, “She mentioned something about you, but she must have settled down. You seem to get along.”

Megan blushes a little that Elle said what she did. Megan acknowledges, “I already shared that with her. If she comes here, no when she comes here, I hope we’ll be friends to her and her friend Andrew.”

“That’s interesting Megan; you said Andrew was her weak spot or that she is his.” Elle turns to my Mom and me, “This stuff doesn’t go down to easy where I come from, but I’ve grown quite a bit in two years at college. Friendships, however, grows fast and deep for me. Please don’t mess with me to just get a few sales. My kid sister will know right quick if we become friends on FB.”

I, Andrea said, “I wouldn’t want to get you or her in trouble. Andrew’s not always going to be a poorly kept secret. How old is your sister?”

“I have two sisters, but Alaina is the fashionista who will know who you are. She’s sixteen, but already a junior in high school. I don’t think she’ll come here to college, but she does want to come here for little sister weekend. It is mostly to getaway. If she knows you’re here, she will want to meet you. I’ll just tell you that upfront.”

I say if she looks like you. Elle shows me a picture and my answer is, “Would she settle for meeting Andrew?”

Mom insists on our way home that Andrew needs to be me more. Many mornings now begin with aerobics and running. Terra likes that it is usually with Andy, her friends often hassle me. They prefer it purely be a female thing. I’m amused that dressing as Andrea makes me different.

It was the next week when I’m over at Terra’s when her cousin Allysn Drake calls and asks her help to look for a wedding gown. I’m invited along but they ask for Andrea to be with them. I’m home and quickly shower to transform into Andrea.

I’ve been to Teresa’s Bridal and Gowns before but this is the first time up to the second floor in the Bridal section. Allysn asks me, “How many wedding gowns have you designed so far?” The truth is I hadn’t even thought of it. It is the third gown Allysn is trying when my imagination gets carried away.

I’d like the third gown if I were the one trying it on. I agree with Allysn, I like the second gown for her and want to see one more that she wants to try on. I would not be as patient as Allysn or Terra. Allysn has two more bridal salons we are to go to today. I think Mrs. Drake is enjoying the time as much as her daughter.

I text JC Hopkins, “Would it be okay if I try on some wedding gowns for the fun of it?” We are in the third salon when Terra gets a text. It is from JC, “Terra please coax Andrea into trying on a gown if it is not too inconvenient. Please get a picture of her and send it to me if it’s possible.”

Terra shared the text with Aunt Teresa who broke into laughter and said, "Most certainly." She asks, the owner Ryann O’Hara, even before they enlighten me with what is being asked. Ryann had noticed a gown I found attractive. She is holding it in front of me, “Andrea would do me the favor of modeling this gown for us?”

I am almost in tears as I feel the need to confess, “I’m sorry but I’m not even…”

Ryann interjects, “I know you are too young to be getting married, but I want to get a picture and to use it to suggest a girl’s fantasy to someday be a bride. I do a fair number of personal requests in making gowns. It would be nice to just put your picture up of you trying this gown.”

I ask, “So you know who I am?”

She says, “Thankful to Aunt Teresa and her namesake Terra. Truthfully I did not recognize you, but JC Hopkins would love to have a picture of you in the gown. Terrace Gardens Gowns could really use the boost of having a noted person being here.”

I look to the others and all of them are gesturing yes. Terra says, “You know you would like to. You also know she sells quality gowns.”

I ask, “Allysn loves that gown over there, but it is very expensive. If she chose it would you give her a 30% discount?”

Ryann says, “It is priced over twelve thousand dollars. If I could display both of your pictures; I’d sell to her for $8,000. Would that be fair enough?”

Allysn’s excitement noted, her mother asks, “Why are you willing to do more than what was asked?”

Ryann says, “I’d like to get back to the gowns and not dickering over the difference.”

I say, “My own is at the lower end of the scale and Allysn’s is at the upper end and designed by you if I am correct. It is truly an elegant wedding gown.”

Ryann says, “If you would ever get married, I would love to design a gown with you and make it.”

Terra helps me to a dressing room with the gown I’m wanting to wear. Ryann and Teresa are helping Allysn with her gown. Ryann tells Terra, “Look around and help her with the accessories she will need. There is a drawer of strapless bras, the satin panties are all new; the one you pick will be hers or yours. I’d like her to buy the silk stockings and garter if she tries them.”

Terra says to me, “That means you will experience wearing a garter. I hope you will like that.” I chose one called dream girl; it has nice lacework and the straps even seem elegant. Terra says, “You could have chosen an inexpensive pair.” She admitted I chose similar to what she would have done. While it takes a good half hour for me to get into the gown properly. Allysn takes fifteen more and it is another a good hour and a half for us both to be fitted.

When I ask about the pictures, Ryann laughs. “I need to prepare both wedding dresses that will take two weeks. When you come back to try them on again; I will have wanted you to have been to a salon for your hair and makeup done before we take the pictures. Do not worry I will line up the photographer and even pay for the photography.” She turns to Ally Drake, “Will that be okay with you Ally?”

“If you can tell JC, she might like to be here.”

To be continued…

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