Alex & Chris
by Sharphawlad
Chapter 10 Fun at the show.
The two of them caused a stir when they arrived at the theatre. The only seats Tilly could get were in the Royal box. The show was the Ken Dodd Show. Christobell said, “I always liked Ken.”
“So do I aunt.”
Ken looked up and said, “I see the Royal box is full tonight. I can now put on by Royal appointment on all my shows.”
There was a knock and a diddy man brought a message from Ken. “The king of the Diddymen invites you both back stage after the show.”
Christobell said, “Please tell the king of the Diddymen we will be pleased to come to meet him and his Diddymen after the show.”
As was normal Ken was an hour later finishing than advertised? Christobell said, to a Diddymen “My driver will be out front can one of you go and fetch her. She will be the only one driving a Rolls Royce?”
Two diddy men left to see to the request. They soon found the car and said, “The King of Diddyland requests your company.”
The other said, “I have to sit in the car until you return.” They went inside & Ken burst out laughing. “I thought I was the best joker in town.”
Christobell, “Actually she is a dear friend who is stepping in at the last minute when the regular driver was unavailable.”
“I see you managed to get a quite appropriate box. You may not be the Queen but you sure are bonny.”
“Ken thank you for the complements. I know you have a very hectic schedule. I was wondering if you and the diddy men would all like to come and stay at our home for the weekend.”
One of the diddy men looked through a diary, “We have a two week break without a booking Ken.”
“In that case how about a two week breaks in the quiets of Yorkshire & close to a fairy grotto?”
Ken said, “I have a team of ten small girls who are all my Diddymen. I tend to forget myself.”
All the diddy men had arrived back in the room and one of the girls said, “By any chance are you close to Hidden Corner?”
Tilly, “That is where we all live on the Middleham estate.”
Ken started to laugh and said, “They have been pestering me to take them there and now they get a personal tour.”
“Ken I know it is a cheek but is it possible to have a diddy costume for a four year old and costumes for two six year olds as whilst you will be there it will be their birthdays.”
Tilly spoke into the phone and got Chris. “Sorry Tilly Alex is with the girls reading them fairy stories. What do you want?”
“Well Christobell has asked guests for two weeks she wants them there here for the girl’s party.” There is a group of twelve all but one is female.”
Chris, “Tell her majesty her request has been noted and granted.”
Tilly, “I did not realise the show was going out live.
“Going out they showed you arriving and taking your seat in the Royal box and the Diddymen coming to your box and you two waving to everybody.”
“OOPS neither of us realised it was being beamed out.”
Ken signalled to Tilly that he wanted to speak. “Hello Ken here I just wish to thank you personally for allowing me and team a two week break.”
Chris said, “Lady Christobell granddaughters were just going to bed but when they saw granny and big sister Tilly were on the telly they wanted to watch so the whole household have been sat watching your antics. The youngest fell asleep watching you and the other two were singing and dancing we are Diddymen.”
“I take it then they will enjoy having diddy men around for two weeks.
Who wants to go to a diddy birthday party for two weeks? Apparently I have three young fans up there & we cannot refuse them can we girls. Are you two up for a joke? I book rooms at the Royal when I am here all the papers know that and wait out front or at the Royal. It will not do my ratings any harm if I happen to be spotted with you two. “
Sure enough there were loads of photographers waiting who took photos. “Ken have you anything to tell us they all clamoured.” Ken got into the Rolls with Christobell and Tilly while the diddy men got in the other car. Some of the photographers went up in the lift and were waiting when they arrived. Hotel security prevented them entering though.
The manager’s face was a picture when he saw Tilly & Christobell enter with Ken. Ken whispered, “Would you object if this old goat kissed you Christobell.” They turned and gave the cameramen a wave and Ken kissed her. “That will get them going and give me loads of publicity. In my business if you do not have publicity you are dead.”
Christobell. “In that case we had better give them chance to take a few more photos.”
After they had gone into a more secure area. A young local reported walked to the office and said, “Excuse me but do you know who the two ladies with Ken are?”
A voice said, “I can tell you the older one is the Lady Christobell of Middleham and the Younger one is Lady Tilly of Middleham and they are old friends of Mr. Diddy. There is nothing going on between them.”
The reporter decided to do her home work and in the morning rang the estate. So they recognise you both as the names I was given. She contacted her editor who said, “Follow it up and look round the estate if you can.” The group continued to chat until the early hours.
Eventually they all awoke when Tilly's mobile rang. “Nana I saw you on the television last night I liked the funny man. I fell asleep watching you bye bye Nana.”
Angela spoke, “Sorry I was not sure if she had got anybody or not.” “They were all excited”
Tilly, “can you send Alice or Rose to the shops and get a copy of every paper you can.”
Rose was the one sent and the village shop keeper said, “I thought you would be here so I saved you a copy of everything. In fact I have had to ask for extra papers as all the villagers want them. They all saw Lady Tilly on the Telly last night.”
Rose looked at the headlines & one Kens Mystery ladies. Another said, “King of Diddymen with his Fiancée.” All the Papers others were very similar. The phone at the estate was red hot as people rang to say congratulations.
Tilly & Christobell did not make the early start they originally planned. But Christobell said, “It does not matter as we are going home later due to the additional shopping although it should not take us too long.
Just as they started to leave the young reporter said, “Lady Christobell will you answer some questions for me please?”
Christobell, “I will if you come with us as we have a time table to keep. I can arrange for your transport home & although we have some shopping to do. It will give you time to find out about me.”
“Where were you born & what schools did you attend?”
“Middleham & along with my three sisters we all attended Roedene and then finishing school in Switzerland.”
In the wet suit shop was on the Whitby Road and they had a vast selection of wet and dry suits to choose from. It though did not take long to get what they wanted.
Tilly said, “You are sure these are the thickest available?”
The shop keeper, “The only ones we have better are the thermal ones that are another 2mm thicker.”
“In that case those are what we will take those including the children size.” Christobell handed over the card as the man waited for authorisation.
“Yes that will do fine Madame.” Christobell continued to answer all the questions.
The reporter said, “You have been quiet are you really a lady or are you Lady Christobell’s maid.”
Tilly. “Christobell is my aunt although until yesterday I did not know of her existence. I was sent to collect her to bring her home as she has decided to live with her sisters again.”
“Last night we did not expect the publicity we got. Ken is a real nice guy and he is a long standing friend of my aunts.” Tilly noticed the reporter starting to change colour and said, “Aunt can we pull in somewhere, she is not well.” By this time they were on the A1 and the only place they could find was a service station.
The girl, “Sorry I skipped a few meals to be sure I got a report from you both.”
Christobell, “Well we will all have a snack here and you young lady can tell me how long you have been pregnant.”
“Is it that obvious? I made a mistake and the boy has gone to some foreign country I will never see him again.”
“I thought he loved me and agreed to his request & I hit the jackpot first time. I was hoping this report would get me noticed before the bump got to large.”
Christobell, “Well young lady I promised you a ride home but in your condition I think I will be putting you to bed. Give me your phone? Hello is that the editor. I have your reporter here she got an exclusive with me but she has been taken very ill. So I am arranging for her to stay with me until she recovers. I can fax you all her stories or if you have Email. I can ask my secretary to send you all the details.”
“Honestly is she very ill or is it a story because she fancies a few days off.”
“Young man I am Lady Christobell of Middleham and I am not in the habit of concocting stories. I have already phoned ahead to have the family doctor ready when we arrive. But as she looks now she will not be working for some time. “
“Lady Christobell, “I apologise tell her to take as long as she wants as her work is good and yes it will be fine to Email me all the details.”
The rest of the trip went without fault or incident although the reporter fell asleep. Tilly said, “Have you noticed when she is asleep she look like cousin Alexis.
Christobell, “Tilly can you ask my daughter Helen to be in attendance. Whoever she is I think she is not going to be going any place for quite a while so can you ask that Helen is there to check her over?”
Meanwhile the editor had second thoughts and decided to ring the estate direct.
Astral answered the Phone and said, “Hello Nana.” Helen happened to see her daughter answer the phone and said sorry, “Her Nana usually rings about this time.”
“I thought I had got to the Middleham Estate.”
“Oh you did I am Lady Helen. But I also go by the name of Dr. Helen Fullolove. I am waiting for my mother to arrive with a seriously ill young lady. She will either be our guest here or she will be taken by ambulance to my hospital in Leeds depending on what I find.”
“So she is not pulling a fast one then.”
Helen, “I can fax or email you her sickness note as from my mother’s description the young ladies health is in serious danger. If it is what I suspect it is likely she could be dead within 24 hours if not treated.”
“Please look after her and tell her to take all the time she needs.”
Helen, “If it is what I suspect she will need the best part of a year off and need major surgery. She was lucky to get the interview with my mother as mum is normally quite quiet & avoids the limelight. She persevered though & agreed to an interview while my mother was been driven home. Now please can you look up on your personnel files all the details you have on her as the slightest bit of information could be vital. At the moment she is fast asleep with her head on my mother’s lap. They should be here soon so please could you email all the information to thestud@middleham. com.uk”
“OK I will do that now in fact I have just scanned in the relevant documents and they are being sent as I speak. Please tell her the girls are missing her and we will send her get well cards. Thank you doctor my chief reporter has just explained how much of an eminent doctor you are & that she could not be in better hands. Before I go, was that your daughter Lady Helen?”
“Well yes it is one of the twins. I think your reporter will probably be getting three additional nurses. Once I have inspected her over I will give my prognosis. I will have to call work to get all the required drugs sent here as I doubt that she is in a fit state to move further. Had she been alone there is a good chance you would be going to the morgue to identify her. They are here now so I must go and check her over.”
