I was born in rural Yorkshire the year Queen Elizabeth ascended the throne of Britain. While where I live is still relatively rural we are still close to the large conurbations of Yorkshire & Lancashire. At the Age of 4 I was the only member of my family not to be hurt in an auto accident due to black ice. My mother’s brother was driving at the time and he crashed into a canal bridge while taking us to his farm after collecting us from the train station. Luckily nobody was seriously hurt. Shortly after this I started to have black outs. I was eventually sent by my doctor to see a paediatrician. I was diagnosed as having Peti Mal (Small fits) in reality I could have hundred’s a day. Some may wonder what they were like. Well the colour drained from my face or so I was told. My eyes flickered but I never lost conscious. In that mille second of time though my short term memory was wiped clean. I could have had a row with somebody and if an attack occurred then I would not remember what happened. My long term memory on the other hand was great.

Going to Primary school was a bit of a blur to me. “I do though remember being punched in the stomach by a trainee teacher from Bingley Training College. She thought I was not paying attention in her class when in reality I had just had an epileptic attack.

One thing the school bullies soon discovered was not to tangle with me as they would come off the worse. In my final year at Primary school old Tom the head master was my teacher. He had been appointed as head master by the Methodists. The school was taken over by the West Riding County Council. Old Tom was actually a good teacher however he was also one who believed in beating a subject into you. Every week we had a spelling test. If you got a word wrong you got one stroke of the cricket bat. Usually there were 20 words so in theory you could get 20 strokes of the bat. I always in his class managed to get at least 4 or 5 words wrong. Like others in my year I sat the 11plus. At the time I did not realise that I stood no chance of ever passing it. The two grammar schools and the secondary school all had navy blazers & either grey skirts if you were female or grey trousers for boys. The only difference was the ties, caps & badges. Well my parent’s got a letter informing them I would be attending the local secondary modern school. A list was provided of what would be required.

My father was a driver at British Rail & had to take his holidays when told rather than the local mill holiday weeks. As a result of this I missed my first week at secondary school. I started the week after all the others. My starting when I did upset some of the other students. There was one entrance for boys and another for girls. It was the same in the playground we were all segregated. Well this group of boys who had all attended a primary school based in the local council estate decided to beat me up in the playground. The odds were quite good about 14 to one. Well I realised I had to fight dirty so with my back to the wall so none of the others could attack me from that direction I let my attackers have it. Some ended up with black eyes while others were bent double as they got a kick in the private area. One boy found my teeth sunk into his arm. I like the others got eventually separated by several teachers. I like all the others got hauled in front of the headmaster. After listening to our submissions he caned the other boys. I also got a reputation as a dirty fighter although I always tried to avoid fights.

In our first year we all attended the school annex which was in the town centre. The main school was over a mile away and one day a week we all had to attend the main school. One of the well known school bullies had not heard of my reputation at the main school, and decided to pick on me outside the principals office of all places. I fought back although the other lad was older and taller than me. The principal with black gown & cap on walked through the window with cane in his hand.

“Cartman what are you doing?” It was plainly obvious he was beating up a first year.

“I am just welcoming a first year sir.”

“Well I am going to welcome you with this.” He got the cane there and then. I went off to my class and thought no more of it. The following day I went back to the annex. There all my year discovered that we had all to walk to the main school accompanied by our respective teachers. We all marched into the assembly hall and had to go to the front where there was chairs awaiting us. We all sung the hymn. He who would true valour be. Then there were the normal announcements. Then the head called the senior boy who had tried to beat me up the previous day on to the stage.

“Cartman tell everybody here what did you do wrong yesterday?”

“Don’t know sir.”

“Well let me put it another way what did you receive from me and why.”

“Got the cane for beating a first year.”

“Very good now what is going to happen to you now in front of the whole school?”

“Get the cane again sir.”

The entire time I was at the secondary school there was only two public sessions were a pupil got the cane in front of everybody. The Principal informed everybody that he would not tolerate bullying of any sort.” Life for me after that was far easier as it gave me considerable status with the other pupils as the one who has stood up to the school bully. I was also known for not holding back as I spoke my mind. At the age of 14 I left the school to start work.

GCE & GSE were only for a select few at that time. As look would have it I was put on a new drug and my attacks of Peti mal abated. Eventually I came off all drugs and the epilepsy was declared clear. However that did not stop it following me for the rest of my life. I eventually got a driving licence. That though had to be reviewed every year. Eventually the DVLA granted me a full licence until I was 70. Even now years on precautions have to be taken if I go for surgery so that the epilepsy is not triggered again.

When leaving school there was three groups. The first left at Christmas the second group at Easter and the third group at the summer break. Most of the girls in my year were joining their mothers in the local cotton mills. (Now gone). I wanted to be a plumber and eventually got a job with a local builder. The local youth employment officer saw fit to interfere and gave the builder some wrong information about me. My parents were furious when the builder called round to see them. After informing the builder the truth they went to see the Youth employment officer. He maintained he was looking after my interests. So out of interest my mother asked him what sort of job he thought was suitable for me. He pulled out a card showing operating a late at a wood products factory. My parent’s started to laugh at his suggestion.

Then father said, “You thought plumbing was dangerous for him because of his Peti mal and yet you would have offered him a job wood turning.”

The officer’s face turned bright red as he realised his mistake.

My mother spoke. “My son could have had a job there without your help if he had wanted it as it is my uncle who owns the company. Come September I had to go on day release to Keighley Tec. I soon was the top of the class for a change. Six months after I started there was a lull in the building industry and I along with many others in the building industry lost their jobs. I was out of work for two weeks and then I joined the staff at the local ironmongers. I worked in every department and learned about purchase tax and profit.

After two years there I moved to a local newspaper as Assistant manager. Then the paper got taken over by United Press. The local office was closed down as a cost cutting measure.

I then joined J.W. Hillards supermarket or the Lion store as it was first known as when I first started there. I worked there for four years. In that time I was Warehouse manager at one store and assistant manager at another. Basically the reps had to deal with me for all their orders. I worked at one store for three days and three at the other. (Hillards was taken over by Tesco supermarkets. I then made another move to Royal Mail starting out as a Postman and rising to the rank of supervisory PHG or acting inspector. I would still be there but for an armed robbery on me while at the post office.

In 1972 my younger brother and I went on a holiday with Global (Yes Gaby fans the firm did exist then). We went by train to Luton and then took a coach to the airport. We had a flight to Basle Airport and then a coach through the Arlberg pass to Reid in the upper Tyrol in Austria. Once in Reid we had a fleet of mini busses to take us around rather than the coach. Well that week will go down in history as the week the Israeli team got shot in the Munich Olympics. Well we were glad to get back home alive. The following year the two of us went to Switzerland with Global again. Two lads from Essex we had met the previous year joined us on the trip. Well nothing spectacular happened that year except my brother managed to get himself tangled up in the groin with some barbed wire after slipping on a mountain side & he required medical treatment.

The following year we went to Italy and Yugoslavia on a dual centre holiday. While there I made friends with a Bavarian girl. The following year my brother and I found a holiday in Austria not far from this young ladies home. She arrived with a blond haired blue eyed driver she called Willie. We got driven to meet her family and then got waved through all the Royal palaces. One hotelier who charged us for a drink looked as if he was in fear of his life as he was made to refund us our money back. We went into restaurants and literally all the staff stopped what they were doing. In one we had just been seated when a man and woman joined us at our table. Our friend explained this was her cousin who was a banker. We thought it was very strange though when other people got ushered out of the restaurant.

It was not till we returned home and watched a programme on BBC about Liechtenstein and the prince who ruled it that we realised it was the same person we had a meal with in Obersdorf. There was even a picture of my friend on the wall in the castle. Well as a post man I was talking to one of my customers about my strange holiday in Bavaria. She laughed and then informed me I had a very important friend. It appeared her uncle was the head of state for Bavaria. Well my friend came over to England and I ensured she had a good time. Actually a lot more did happen on that holiday like hotel double booked. Hotel struck by lightening and a lad from Lancashire who was supposed to be looking after a disabled girl and he dumped her on the courier to look after. I also forgot the Irish lady who fell down the stairs and had to be flown home and the two Irish girls who managed to crash a dodgem car in Brussels and ended up at the medical centre.

The following year things changed my brother and I went to Tunisia for two weeks. I managed to end up in hospital after diving into the swimming pool and splitting my head open. The two of us both got home safely and shortly after I was admitted to hospital with acute appendicitis. It was also discovered I had an ulcer. While in Tunisia I made friends with Two Danish Girls. This was also the last holiday I would have with my brother as he got a girl friend and then married. One of the Danish girls came over to England and spent the time with me. I asked about her sister and she informed me it was actually her cousin who was Swedish. I was to have four more holidays on my own. One was to Valkenberg in Holland with Wallace Arnold (Wally’s in the Nena stories). I also returned twice to Austria and met up with my friend again. I also went on a trip to the Italian Lakes. Shortly after this I met the girl of my dreams. We did not go abroad for seven years and then we took our daughter to Rhodes and Simi.

Shortly after getting married I started showing signs of multiple health problems including gynaecomastica. I was later to learn some of the problems were genetic in nature while others had been caused by the drug I had been given for the Peti mal I had as a child. I was given a cocktail of drugs. Shortly after starting this course of drugs my chest started to itch. I went swimming at the local baths and virtually all my body hair came out. Later in the week I was to see one of the specialists who were treating me. Besides seeing the specialist I ended up having a chat with an Endocrinologist. She was very nice and explained I had a known reaction to some of the drugs I was taking. Me being me suggested they change the drugs then. It was explained that because of my other health problems other drugs were not an option.

The Doctor asked me if I was married and I said yes my wife is waiting outside. My wife was asked to come into the room by the nurse. It was explained I would need some strong support for my chest. At the time I still thought the two lumps that had developed on my front would go away. Some days I got very depressed. I was informed I would need either a compression vest or a bra. These days they are still with me they did not go away even when one of the drugs was stopped. I have learned to live with them. One day I saw a friend who was receiving treatment for Cancer. He was a year older than me and also had a prominent chest. I asked how he was doing and he said fine, my main problem is with these. The docs informed me there might be a little bit of swelling. That is what they told me and then I got informed I needed either a compression vest or a bra. For the first time in ages we both burst out laughing. If you saw either of us you would realise that neither of us are very feminine. After nearly clocking my clogs after an operation and I had to have Oxygen for a week. I decided against reduction surgery and still wear a bra to this day.

Well apart from attempting to write stories and fan fiction what are my interests. I am a qualified youth and sports leader. I ran or helped in quite a number of youth clubs over the years. I was one of the few leaders who were qualified to drive the Youth service mini bus & sometimes I would take groups out that were not from my club. On one occasion the local Saint Johns ambulance asked if I would take a group of children to Bramham Park. I did not realise Princess Anne would be there and presenting awards. It was even a bigger shock when the two ladies who asked me to take the children took me in one arm each and marched me to the front where they did a curtsy and I did a bow as I received a medallion.

I like folk music and square dancing. On one occasion one of the girls at the youth club came and asked me if I was going to the dance to be held at the town hall. When I replied yes she went away laughing. The following night there was a knock at my door just as I was ready for going out. (Helen from the story on Top Shelf was there with a group of girls.)

“We came to ensure you got a partner for the dance.” Well apart from going to the toilet I was kept on the dance floor all night. The girls had all arranged for their parents to pick them up after the dance. As I said I like folk music on one occasion all those at the folk club got asked to sign a form for membership as the rules on the hire of the venue had changed. The following day my parents got a telephone call that my application for the Conservative club had been approved and the president would be delivering them in person. It turned out to be my mother’s elder brother.

I got into showing Shetland Sheepdogs or Fairy dogs as they are some times known. I travelled up and down the country going to open and championship shows. The first show I entered was at Leeds and was a championship show. I was a total novice and came away with a third and a Reserve on first attempt. I then caught the showing bug. Showing Shelties also got me my future wife. My wife and I would go to the last Cruft’s at Earl’s court in London. The following year at Birmingham International exhibition Centre the only thing we would be showing off was our baby daughter.

My wife and I both got into family history and started our family history. It took a long time. We eventually traced a lot of family members. I was also to discover my great grand mother and my wife’s Great, Great Grand mother were cousins. I also managed to locate for my mother in law two missing sisters and a brother. I along with my family have recorded at least 13 graveyards and these books are on sale at the local family history society.

When I lost my job at Royal Mail. I was depressed for a time but that was actually due to Post Traumatic Stress. I though decided to go to college and I got a wad of certificates in computer related subjects. In addition I took many Science based subjects and passed them. Besides the subjects I have already listed I am interested in History. Archaeology, Mythology, and Astrology.

There may be some of you out there that were laughing away at the stories that included Giants and witches. Even those are part based on fact. While at college I did various courses with a white witch. As for some of my stories with displaced Royals in. They again are based on the facts. I am friends with Hindeberg’s Grand daughter and a displaced Romanian Royal who lives in the same town as me.

As I stated previously I can trace members of my family back a lot further than most people are able. This is in part due to various matriarchal figures who recorded the family names for future members. I also discovered some of my family are mentioned in the local castle records and because of them I could trace them back to the 1400s.

When a youth club leader I remembered my time at school when only a very select few were chosen to do various sports. I had a policy of allowing all members to enter events. Some times that policy came up with unexpected results like when a young girl came and asked if she could enter an Air rifle competition. I allowed her to come to the practise along with a female leader who wanted to have a go. The boys faces were a picture and they were making all sorts of jokes about she will be putting the slug into the wrong end. They were in for a shock when this Asthmatic girl who was not allowed to do sports at school managed to consistently get the Bull’s-eye. She had managed to out perform all but one boy who was level pegging with her. That night she went home with a smile on her face. Later in the week I got a visit from her father to ask if she was any good with an air rifle. I said she was a natural with a rifle. After my chat he went out and bought her a match air rifle.

As a leader at the youth club we had highs and lows at the youth club for most of the time the youngsters had a great time. At one time there was a knock at my door. There was a mother of two of the girls who came to the youth club. Earlier in the week I was unable to take the girls to a tennis competition and somebody else had to. Unfortunatly this person had made improper suggestions to the girls the youngest who was only 13 at the time. Although the lady said she did not want a fuss made I informed her I had to inform the senior youth officer of what was alleged. This person who the allegation was made about was also a teacher for a single sex school in the town. After an enquiry it was discovered this person had approached children of both sex making improper suggestions.

Other interests I have had include singing in the church choir being a server at the Altar, Bell ringer, Sides men and Verger.