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Author’s note: For obvious reasons, there’s a lot of thought-speech in this. "Ordinary speech looks like this," while "thought speech looks like this." Just in case it isn’t obvious :)

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Steve paced up and down his room, wondering if it was such a good idea to go through with this. On the one hand, it was Halloween, so the one time of year it was relatively ‘safe’ to be seen in public dressed the way he was - and if he could pull it off, he’d feel some small sense of victory and perhaps a better idea of future possibilities. On the other hand, it was an unconventional outfit for a male to be wearing, and he was almost certain someone would see through the outfit, recognise him and at the very least tease him mercilessly about it.

Across town, Chloe was also having second thoughts - not about her costume but how she’d cope in the company of a whole bunch of complete strangers rather than just being by herself. It would, after all, be fun to dress up, dance around and party - but the thought of trying to make friendly conversations with complete strangers; or even worse, fend off the attentions of drunken males (none of whom she was likely to have any interest in whatsoever), terrified her.

After much fretting, both decided to be bold and head out - coincidentally to the same party, a fundraising event organised jointly by the local Round Table and Ladies Circle¹. To their relief it wasn’t too chilly out and the weather forecast was dry, so they left in only their costumes and a small clutch purse holding their money and keys.

Each approached the venue from opposite directions at roughly the same time, but too wrapped up in their own thoughts to notice anyone around them. As he neared the entrance, he noticed what appeared to be an old oil lamp on a pedestal. Momentarily forgetting his situation, he suddenly felt the urge to pick it up and for the sheer fun of it give it a rub - not expecting anything to happen.

Not expecting anything to happen is one thing, but being faced with the lamp jumping out of his hands, hovering in mid aid, and a column of bluish smoke erupting from it is another thing entirely.

"You cannot be serious!" he thought upon seeing this, and not seeing any obvious mechanism for it to happen, pinched himself to check he wasn’t dreaming. It hurt - even more so since he’d had the bright idea of applying long false nails (which had already caused problems when locking up his flat). "OK, not dreaming, so what the heck is going on?"

The bluish smoke then stopped rising, seemed to gain in density, and changed shape to form something not too dissimilar to the genie in a well known animation. "OK, I’ve got to be hallucinating now, but how? I haven’t had anything to drink. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound…"
He looked up at the form, and asked "Am I dreaming?"

The genie shook his head.

"Hallucinating?"

The genie shook his head again, a slight smile appearing on his face.

"Are you a genie?"

The genie nodded.

"OK, this is definitely weird. So if he’s a genie..."

"Let me guess, you’re going to grant me three wishes?" "Not that I have the foggiest idea what to wish for…"

The genie mumbled, "Why do they always have to be so stupid?", before saying out aloud "No - only one, so choose wisely."

As Steve started thinking, he idly looked around to see what everyone else was doing - was they frozen (indicating he was in a time bubble), carrying on regardless without paying any attention (indicating the genie had erected some kind of perception filter), or was this visible to everyone?

While all this was going on, Chloe had stopped just short of the entrance to gather her composure and size up the other attendees - even though charity events were likely to attract a more respectable set of customers, being halloween it was possible some of the local college students would turn up - inevitably with no tact and dreadful pick-up lines (not that she socialised much, but from what she’d overheard at work). Being a chronic introvert, she had no idea how she’d handle them - and even around work hadn’t really found any men interesting enough to want to know further. Wanting to keep her options open, she’d even considered the other girls in the office - they were all pretty boring (as far as she was concerned) as well, although there had had once been an androgynous temp who she found more approachable than most in the office, but her contract had ended before Chloe had picked up the courage to chat with at company socials.

Just then, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye and turned to face it. She saw someone wearing a very similar costume to hers, although it didn’t look as though they had much of a chest… or a waist. Under the streetlights, it was difficult to tell whether they were another girl or a boy, but she had a similar feeling to when she first saw the intern the previous year. Her attention was then drawn to the object the person was holding - it appeared to be an old-style lamp, similar to the type often portrayed in Aladdin stories. A smile crept across her face as the person rubbed the lamp, "in their shoes I’d probably do the same," which quickly turned to shock as a blue vapour emerged and resolved itself into what appeared to be a genie shape. She took a few small, nervous steps towards the scene, thinking "OK, I’m officially intrigued - I wonder what that poor person’s thinking right now?"

Steve saw Chloe and was transfixed. She was wearing an almost identical outfit to his, but carrying it off much better. She looked cute, but also seemed about as nervous as he was - taking a couple of steps at a time towards him, then looking around, thinking for a bit, and repeating. At the same time he wanted to know what she was thinking and to be with her - perhaps together they could survive the night.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and Steve noticed first that he seemed to be standing elsewhere, then that he was apparently gazing at his own body, which promptly disappeared, then he heard a female voice seeming to come from inside his head saying "Hang on - I’m sure there was someone there a few seconds ago - where have they gone?"

Steve thought, "What the heck's happening?!", only to be surprised to hear the same female voice exclaim out loud, "Where did that voice come from?"

Putting two and two together, Steve replied "Erm, hi?"

"Who are you? Where are you?!"

"Erm, I’m Steve - or at least I was until a few seconds ago, and I now appear to be in your head."

"What?!"

"Erm, people are staring - it might be a good idea to either find somewhere quiet or to think your questions."

"OK, OK, not panicking - WHAT THE HECK’S GOING ON?!"

"Good question, but at a rough guess, it’s got something to do with that blue buffoon floating up ahead."

Now it was Chloe’s turn to have a revelation. "So that old oil lamp?"

"Yup, I was the one holding it."

"You’re a boy?"

"Oh, wow - erm, I mean, you had doubts before?"

"I’m not sure what you’re getting at."

"You really thought I may have been a girl?"

"It was a little hard to tell under these lights - you were as flat as a pancake, but, yeah, not bad."

"I wasn’t brave enough to buy a bra, and as I didn’t know if I’d ever do this again, I wasn’t going to buy inserts - even if I could afford them. Anyway,I’ll explain later. Let’s find out how we got into this mess first and how long it’s likely to last."

"Good point. It had better not be forever - no disrespect, but having voices in my head…"

"I didn’t exactly ask to be a passenger in your head either!"

"Touché."

Filled with a new-found confidence, she strode up to the genie, who was still grinning and obviously enjoying himself.

"Oi! Genie!"

"Yeeees?"

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?! Get him out of my head NOW!"

"What do you mean?!"

"You know perfectly well what I mean, mister. I didn't ask for this and..."

"Steve, are you sure you didn’t ask for this?"

"Definitely not!"

"Just thought I’d double check."

"...he didn't ask for this either!"

"I'm afraid you did. You both did."

"What the heck are you blathering on about?"

"I granted him a wish: he quite clearly stated he wanted to be with you and know what you were thinking."

"WHAT?!"

"Hey, you were looking as nervous as I was feeling. I genuinely wanted to know why, could do with some companionship, and worth getting to know better…"

"Know?"

"You asked to know her feelings and for companionship - I gave you exactly what you wanted!"

"Stupid bloomin’ genie. Oh, and ‘know’ - Not in the Biblical sense! Friendship, nothing more - although I do admit you do look cute - two introverts attempting to make sense of the world together."

"And now you’re together forever."

"What do you mean, ‘forever’?"

"Exactly what it says on the tin - anyway, it’s not as if you weren’t also wishing you knew what he was thinking."

"Forever?"

"Forever and ever, amen. Yes." He then muttered under his breath, but still audible, "Stupid humans. I give them everything they ask for, and they still complain."

Steve thought "He knows as well as I do we never said those things aloud!"

"Good point." "You know as well as we do that we never said those things aloud! Besides which, surely wishes have to be said out aloud to count, and follow the standard ‘I wish...’ format?"

"Not necessary. Article 53, section 7, subsection 5 clearly states we have to grant the customer's first wish, regardless of how it is expressed."

"You're making that up!"

"No I'm not!"

"Prove it!"

"I, err... don't have the documents to hand."

"Well, get us back to normal then!"

"Sorry, no can do."

"What?!"

"It's the thing with magic: what's done cannot be undone."

"So if you can't undo it, can you find someone who can?"

"I've already told you: what's done cannot be undone."

"OK, so if we found another genie and wished to be in our own bodies?"

"It wouldn't work. You are in your own body. What's done cannot be undone."

"What do you mean, we're in our own body?"

"Cor, why do humans have to be so bloody stupid?! Do I have to spell it out for you?! Grrr. You. Have. Only. One. Body.

"The. Other. Body. Does. Not. Exist.

"What's. Done. Cannot. Be. Undone. Comprendez?!"

"You mean we're stuck like this... forever!?"

"Finally they get it. Hallelujah. You should be grateful, you know!"

"Wha...?!"

"I granted you two, no, three wishes for the price of one. I consider that a very good deal!"

"You..." she stormed over to the lamp and threw it forcefully against the ground.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you..."

"Why the heck not?!"

"For a start, that's my home. I'd rather you didn't bash it up."

"Well, tough. You screwed up our lives, why shouldn't we screw up yours?!"

"I have unbounded magical powers. I could click my fingers and you would cease to exist."

"Yeah, right. Surely people would ask questions?"

"Nope. I could erase you from existence - you would never have lived."

Chloe gulped. "You couldn't do that!"

The genie expanded in size, and bellowed "Do you dare test me?!"

Chloe looked around - nobody else was paying any attention. Evidently the genie had eventually got around to erecting a perception filter.

"OK, OK, I get the point." She reluctantly put the lamp back on the pedestal. "So how's this going to work, then? Is he going to be a passenger in my head for ever?"

"Dual controls."

"What the heck's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh no. Is there any limit to human stupidity? Let’s try again...

"You know when you were learning to drive?"

"Yeah, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"You were taught in an instructor's car?"

"Yes. I still don't see the point."

"What differentiates an instructor's car from an ordinary car?"

"Apart from the logos?"

"Yes."

"Oh." She thought for a bit. "You mean, he can control my body? That's gross!"

"Sounds like fun - how?!"

"Shut up!"

"Sorry, couldn’t resist a little wind-up. But it would be interesting knowing if / how I can control this body, since we’ve apparently both got a share in control. Can we each arbitrarily gain control or is it like a timeshare?"

"Yeees, he could control your body, but you'd need to hand control to him, and he'd need to hand control back."

"Oh kay..."

"No, not necessarily the whole body. You could allow him to speak, for example; or do something with your arms; while retaining control of the rest of you."

"Can I borrow your arm?"

"Why? Second thoughts, don’t tell me - you are not going to do that with my arm!"

"Spoilsport!"

"Pervert!"

Looking back to the genie, she said "Sorry about that, boy trouble. Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?"

The genie sighed. "Article 27, section 3, subsection 6 - which we've been trying to get rid of for years - compels us to explain the effects of any wish granted. Avoids legal trouble."

"But how could anyone sue a creature widely believed to be mythical?"

"Humans couldn't, but there are plenty of races that can. Unfortunately."

"Anything else we need to know - such as what's happened to his life?"

"That's the genius part. Both parents think they've got a daughter - you - and you've got both sets of qualifications and experience."

"But... how can that possibly work?"

"Easy - neither set of parents can meet the other in the presence of you."

"Jobs?"

"What?"

"Now you don’t seem too bright yourself. Jobs - career - workplace - work - get the picture?"

"You choose."

"What does that mean?"

"The magic doesn't allow you to be in two places at once. So you'll have to figure out arrangements over the next week. If you go to your workplace over the next week, his won't have any records relating to his employment there. If you go to his workplace over the next week, yours won't have any records relating to your employment there. If you spend two days in one and three in the other, you'll be regarded as a part time employee of both."

"But won't it seem odd if I turn up to his workplace?"

"No - they'll remember you. But you’ll have to decide over the next fortnight - the magic can only sustain three different employment configurations that long. Similarly with accommodation - you’ll have to decide which property to live at within the next fortnight, after which the other will cease to have ever been let to the other.

"Oh, there is one other minor concession."

"What's that?"

"Name."

"What do you mean? I'm Chloe Angela Brooks."

"At the moment, but given your, erm, unique situation, you may prefer a new one that reflects both your personalities."

"Eh?"

"You're living together and sharing a body - to avoid either of your lives becoming hell you'll have to adapt to your new situation and probably do things neither of you would have considered doing beforehand. You won't realise this right away, but the sum of the new you will be greater than the parts. You may decide to choose a new name to reflect this."

"And I take it if we do, everyone will believe we've had it all our lives?"

"Yup."

"When?"

"The first time you sign your name on an official document."

"Right..."

"Any more questions? I must be getting back home soon."

"Anything to add?"

"Can't think of anything at the moment."

"Can we ask questions later? It's all a bit sudden."

"Sorry, once I go back in that's it."

"OK then. Thanks, I suppose."

"Oh, and put me somewhere findable. Depending on when I'm next called on, I might grant you good health and long life."

"Let me guess - if we hide you in a cupboard or dump you in a skip, we'll have a short, disease-ridden, painful life."

"You got it! Toodleoo!" With that, the genie disappeared back inside the lamp, which jumped into Chloe's hand.

"What do we do now?"

"Well, we could do with a long chat to sort things out, but for the moment, let's just get used to the new 'us'. You've got to get used to having me as a passenger, and I've got to get used to piggybacking on you."

"So...?"

"Go in, have some fun. I'll keep a lookout..."

"Pervert!"

"...ha, ha, very funny. I'll keep a lookout for any potential troublemakers, and alert you."

"Boys?"

"Go on. I've got to get used to it sooner or later, so it might as well be sooner rather than later."

"Your place or mine?"

"Hey, that's supposed to be my line! We've got the choice of both. Where do you live?"

"Spencer Street." She inwardly giggled.

"What?"

"I never thought I'd give my address out to a boy this quickly - we've hardly met!"

"Well... OK, I get your point. I'm on Powell Street, so you're probably closer. And tidier. Although I wouldn't have put it past that damn genie to have given my bachelor pad a girlie makeover."

"Well, tomorrow's Saturday - what say we pop over and take a look?"

"OK. You know what?"

"What?"

"I think he might have given us something to ease the 'freak out' factor - we both seem to be taking this pretty well."

"I suppose so - but then again, we haven't exactly got much of a choice. Now what was that you were on about earlier with the talk of ‘inserts’?"

"Oh, bra inserts, as in fake boo..., no, breasts."

"Are you one of those tranny-thingies?"

"Transvestite? That’s the common term for a bloke who gets a kick out of wearing women’s clothes. I’d say no to that. Transsexual? Ugh, forget Rocky Horror, transgendered are those who feel they were born in the wrong body - so male body, female brain; female body, male brain. Erm, not sure?"

"Not sure?"

"I never really fitted in, hated sports, could never understand boys’ attitudes to girls, envied their choice and freedom in clothes, as well as their more creative side; while as being ostensibly a boy showing interest in the arts and disliking both the playing and following of sports were severely frowned upon. But while I could understand girls better than boys, did I ever think I was one? Not back then - and now? I’m not sure - possibly fifty fifty, or maybe sixty girl forty boy, possibly even seventy five twenty five. I’ve never really considered it necessary to write out a list."

"Oh. Did you ever think yourself…"

"Gay? Considered it, quickly rejected it. I have no attraction to boys whatsoever. Girls, I like - but at the moment more as friends rather than romantic partners or, shudder the thought, ‘conquests’".

"Conquests - ugh, I know the type. Well, now’s your chance to find out what being a girl’s like, so if a miracle occurs and we can find a way of getting separated…"

"...I’ll know for sure. I have to ask - what attracted you to me?"

"Actually, a similar kind of thing to your attraction for me - I thought you looked vulnerable, and someone who may make this party bearable. Oh, but I’m definitely all girl - inside and out, but I suppose the question on your lips will be…"

"Boys."

"Dunno. Never really been attracted to any before I saw you - to be honest, most I’ve met are complete jerks."

"Join the club."

"Thanks(!). I haven’t really felt much towards girls either - although there was a cute intern once…"

"So asexual borderline lesbian?"

"Asexual?"

"Not really attracted to anyone."

"Yeah, I guess. Do you really think I’m cute?"

"Yes - or rather, I suppose I should say we’re cute - gah, that’s going to take some getting used to - I’ll have to learn to cope sooner or later. And no, our bum does not look big in this outfit!"

She giggled. "But as payment for this I might put you in control during my next period! Besides which, it’ll give you an up close and very personal idea of what life’s like for the other half!"

"Oh great. Thanks a bunch. Erm, when is it?"

"Actually... any day now. As you said yourself, you'll have to find out about it sooner or later, so you may as well find out sooner rather than later."

"Oh my - you're as bad as my sister!"

"And you're as bad as my brother!"

"No doubt we’ll meet them both in time. Anyway, quits?"

She deliberately paused, then thought out "Quits. For now."

"Meanie."

"Cheeky."

He concentrated and thought an image of his former self sticking his tongue out at her. She repeated the favour.

He mentally sighed, then thought "Somehow, I think we're in for an interesting few days."

"You can say that again! Although I think we're in for an interesting life! Just out of curiosity, what was your name?"

"Oh right, I hadn’t actually got around to telling you. Steve - although I suppose Stevie or Stephanie would be more appropriate now."

"And I’m Chloe, as I think I said earlier. Or rather, we’re Chloe, for the time being at least."

"I suppose we'd better put down this lamp. Have we got a pen and paper in our handbag?"

"I've got a marker and a stack of post-it notes. Why?"

"To write a message - 'Wish wisely. Wish alone.'"

"I doubt it'll do any good..."

"Yeah, but we can but try."

"Good point."

They wrote the note, attached it to the lamp, then replaced it on the pedestal where they found it before entering the party.

Several hours later, a little worse for wear, they left to find the lamp gone but the note attached to the pedestal, bearing an additional four letters... THNX.

Steve (for the moment - both thought it best to continue thinking of him using his old name until they were more used to their situation) examined the note, and thought "Looks as though someone found it then."

"THNX - serious or sarcastic?"

"Can't say. But we're definitely a demon on the dance floor!"

"Yes - I won't ask how you know all the moves to the Macarena."

"And I won't ask how you managed to enrapture Barry with a simple flutter of your eyelids."

"Oh damn, so that’s what attracted him. I know he was being a jerk, but did you have to tip his drink over him?"

"You'd given me control of the arm, besides which, I know the sort - hardly anything else would have got through to him. Although he puts on the charm, (a) did you notice he was quoting liberally from 'The World's Worst Chat-Up Lines' (he was bragging about being able to 'pull' any 'chick' using them), and (b) he's seriously bad news. He makes Henry the Eighth seem tame."

"How do you know?"

"He's a boy, and if you recall, I was one too until a few hours ago, so I think I know a thing or two about how the species generally operates. Besides which, he was on most of the sports teams at school. Plenty of brawn, not much brain. Hang on, I wonder..." Since he could broadcast thoughts to Chloe, he wondered if he could also broadcast memories, so started thinking of some notable incidents featuring Barry, ending with the incident earlier that evening.

Chloe mentally cringed. "He’s even more of a jerk than I thought - if I’d known I’d have probably kneed him in the nuts."

It was Steve’s turn to mentally cringe. "Ouch. Personally, I prefer my cold and wet punishment."

"Each to their own. Still, sharing memories is pretty cool…"

"But certain thoughts are best kept to ourselves!" he replied, unintentionally broadcasting a few select fantasies.

"Slight hitch. If you broadcast your thoughts and memories that easily, you soon won’t have any secrets left!"

"There may be some compensation though…" he replied, while catching glimpses of ideas from Chloe’s imagination; "Your mind’s about as leaky as mine, so it’s possible in time we’ll each know everything there is to know about each other."

"Dammit. Oh well, we’re going to be stuck like this for a while - possibly forever - so I suppose the sooner we understand each other inside out…"

"Ouch. Bad pun, but I get the idea - the more we know each other, the easier we’ll be able to cope."

"Don’t think I’m letting you off control during my period!"

"You do realise we’ll probably both feel the pain, and you’ll still see it all?"

She sighed. "Unfortunately, yes - but it’ll still be nice to take a back seat for once and see how you cope."

"Probably not too bad - especially once you’ve shared your memories / experiences…"

She mentally giggled, "Oh boy are you in for a world of hurt"

He mentally shrugged, "I’ll get used to it - you did, and so has every other woman that ever lived. It’s not like I don’t have my own share of embarrassing body moments I can serve up on demand."

"OK, OK, I get the point."

Steve then added, "I’m sure we’ll get along fine - we coped OK during the past couple of hours."

"But an entire lifetime? I suppose we’ve got no choice. Remind me again - who’s place did we agree on staying tonight earlier?"

"Yours - you’re closer than me, it’s your body, and you’re currently in charge. It might be best to make a start fairly soon though."

"Why?"

"We’re attracting stares - we might have accidentally said some of this conversation out loud."

"Good point - besides which, with both the party and you popping into my head, I’m exhausted."

"I am too - let’s go back, sleep on it, then work out how the heck we go forward in the morning when our minds are fresh."

"OK Boss!" she joked, letting out an audible giggle.

"Technically, you’re the boss. But since everyone thinks we’ve probably had too much to drink anyway with apparently talking to ourselves and random giggling, it wouldn’t harm to stage a stumble or two until we’re out of sight."

"OK minion!"

"You’re hopeless. I am reminded of that supposedly ancient curse though…"

Both then thought together, "May you live in interesting times!"
A brisk walk later, and they arrived at Chloe’s front door. As she opened up, she thought,

"Home, sweet home."

"I suppose it is - for me as well."

"You’ll forgive me if I don’t give you the grand tour - let’s just head to bed."

"Well, I’ve always had fantasies of sleeping with a beautiful girl - but this isn’t quite what I meant!"

"And I never thought I’d be sleeping with anyone - let alone someone hiding in my head!"

A few minutes later, after what should have been a quick wash (made significantly longer by Steve’s mental gawping at ‘his’ new face, coupled with Chloe’s giggles in response slowing things down considerably), they collapsed on Chloe’s bed (mercifully white - Steve was half expecting a sea of pink and pastels), exchanging one last set of words before closing their eyes and drifting off to sleep.

"Goodnight Steve."

"Goodnight Chloe - I wonder what tomorrow will bring."

"We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Goodnight, sleep tight."

"Goodnight too."

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I’m currently writing a Part 2, which will involve two more encounters with a genie - the first involving obtaining an English version of the Genie Legal Code, the second - wait and see :)
Feel free to speculate away :D

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[1] Round Table - social organisation for men 18-45, aimed at charity fundraising as well as having fun. The Ladies Circle is the female equivalent. Although separate organisations, local branches often join forces for events such as fireworks displays and santa floats. Return to text..